


Skyline of Concrete Dreams

by lifein10s



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boss/Employee Relationship, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coming Out, Endgame, F/F, Falling In Love, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Sex, Love, OTP Feels, Romance, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Sex, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2017-05-21
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 52
Words: 117,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7307446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifein10s/pseuds/lifein10s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"The way Emma looks at it, she has two options: she could either start dating men and wait for her confusion to disappear, or she could gather up some courage and open the can of worms with the label 'girls' on it."</p><p>Fresh out of foster care, Emma Swan moves to NYC in the hope of finally building a life for herself. What starts as a job turns out to be much more when Emma falls for her infamous boss, Regina Mills.  Swanqueen AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> As promised, here's the first chapter of the rewritten version of Skyline. I owe a huge thank you to Sammie and Larissa, my betas, for making this worth reading and mistakes-free :)
> 
> For those of you who are new and don't really understand what's going on- I'm rewriting the story and having a beta go over it. Currently, chapters *1-17* are done.

**Chapter 1**

 

She stares out the window, the trees turning into a green blurry line, as the Double-Decker glides on the highway. The free newspaper is long discarded, having covered every single page in it during the long drive. Emma left Boston before the sun was even out, opting on skipping the morning traffic. But to be honest, the real reason was the fact that she couldn't wait to be out of this city and have her long-time-coming fresh start.

Emma grew up in the system. Saying that she wasn't fond of her foster home was the understatement of the year; The blonde never really fit in or made friends, and her inexplicable need tonever back down caused her a lot of trouble (and a black eye or two). When she turned seventeen she started working for Mr. Baronio's catering business. The money wasn't great, but considering the limitations she had due to curfews and school, in addition to no experience whatsoever, she was simply thankful for having that job. She put on a smile and worked her butt off, earning a soft spot in her employer’s heart in the process. Baronio was nice enough to let her keep her money in his safe, since taking cash back to her home, filled with poor foster kids, wasn’t the smartest idea.

The money piled up over the course of a year and yesterday, two days after she finally turned eighteen, Emma dropped by his place to collect her earnings. Baronio, being the warm Italian man that he is, scooped her into a tight hug and wished her the best. Neal, his son, was there as well, smiling shyly at her while mumbling a _good luck_. It seemed like he had managed to overcome his feelings and came to bid her goodbye.

Neal was her first love, and like all young loves, it was passionate and drastic and unavoidably immature. They had quite a ride, growing up together, becoming the young adults they are today. But it was bound to end at some point, and after a few months they parted their ways.

She thanked him as they stood, awkwardly waiting for his dad to come back with her money. Green eyes scanned the place one last time, then, she said her goodbyes and left.

Her hands fiddle with the straps of her backpack. Her entire life is in that bag,everything she holds dear; so for the hundredth time since she got on that bus, she checksif everything is still there and confirms, that indeed, nothing had disappeared since her last check up. She glances up just in time to face the sign indicating New York is fifteen miles away.

She sucks in a breath and closes her eyes. This is it, it is finally happening.

 

*******

 

Emma might have skipped Boston’s rush hour but New York's traffic hits her hard. Crossing the city to the bus station takes them nearly an hour, helping subside the initial excitement. When the bus finally stops, at 42nd street between Lexington and 3rd, Emma is the first one off the bus.

It is a sunny day, mid-September, and the blonde decideson walking her way uptown.

She stops for a Starbucks along the way. Quite aware of her tight budget, she settles for a simple black coffee. Having nothing but her backpack on makes her walk nice and easy, and she reaches her destination in no time.

She looks down at the piece of paper in her hands, making sure she is at the right place, and nods to herself. The building is located on 81st street between York and 1st and is arguably presentable. But hey, Emma isn’t picky. Besides, that's pretty much the best she can do with the money she has saved. The first floor is occupied by a diner named "Granny's". The cozy-looking restaurant and its proximity to her soon-to-be apartment make Emma unbelievably happy. In that moment, the blonde knows that this would be her new favorite go-to place. She approaches the door located to the dinner's right, assuming it’s the building’s entrance. She searches for the owner's name on the intercom list and presses twice.

"Yes?" someone inquires, her voice terribly pitchy coming out of the old-looking intercom.

"Hey, I'm Emma Swan, we talked on the phone…"

"Oh yes, of course, come on in."

A loud buzz is heard a moment later and Emma pushes the door open. Mrs. O'Malley, or Rosie as Emma was instructed to call her over the phone, is waiting for her on the first floor. She is short, pear shaped and has kind eyes framed by wrinkles. If Emma had to guess she would say that the woman was probably in her fifties.

"Wow! Honey, you are so young" she clasps her hands happily as she examines her from head to toe and back over.

"Well…" Emma chuckles awkwardly, shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

"I have great news for you, sweetheart.” Rosie announces cheerfully “You said that the size of the apartment didn't quite matter as long as you're alone and it's within your price-range right?"

Emma nods. She is well aware of the fact that living alone is an expensive privilege, and in New York City, no less. But the price of living with so many kids growing up has taken its toll on her and she is ready to take on extra work to ensure that for the first time in her life she can have some privacy.

"One of the smallest apartments that we have here is available again." Rosie smiles cheekily "I call it ‘The Shoe Box’. It's almost a studio apartment, I would say, with a main living space and a bathroom." She elaborates as they climb up the stairs.

They stop once on the third floor, which is a relief considering the no-elevator status of the building, in front of a wooden door, the number 9 carved in it.

"As I said hon, significantly smaller but also cheaper" the middle-aged woman adds as she opens the door. Emma enters the place and scans the room. The apartment, if you can call it that, is indeed tiny. The single room contains a bed, a desk, a living area with a couch and a TV, a kitchen and a small bar stool to separate the kitchen from the rest of the room. The bathroom is small and generic looking, but clean. This ‘Shoe Box’ is adorable. A little smaller than she has hoped for, but cozy, and dare she say, homey.

"How much for this one?" she asks when they finish the short tour.

"975 dollars a month, including maintenance and some of the utilities. The other apartments start at 1250 a month."

This is a big difference. Three hundred dollars a month can cover food and transportation expenses, it can make her life and workload (once she findsa job) a lot easier.

"I'll take it" she smiles at Rosie and the latter beams right back at her.

"Great! When would you like to enter the apartment?"

"As soon as possible"

"How about now? It is empty." the older woman spreads her hands, gesturing to the space they are currently in.

"Sounds great"

After that, Rosie goes down to get the keys. Emma pays two months' rent in advance and signs the contract. With Rosie's instruction, she makes her way to the groceries store to buy some food and other necessities.

 

*******

 

It is already late-noon when Emma finally wakes up from her slumber and starts unpacking. Recounting the money she has left, she realizes she has to find a job, and sooner rather than later. Still feeling the lingering effects of her nap, Emma decides to go grab some coffee at Granny’s.

She places herself on one of the bar stools and waits for the skinny, brunette waitress to approach her.

"Hi," the brunette greets cheerily, "a new face!"

"Indeed I am" Emma smiles back, already feeling rather comfortable with her. She seems nice enough, her smile broad and eyes twinkling.

"What can I get you?"

"Black coffee, please"

"No problem"

The brunette comes back a minute later, a cup of steamy black liquid in hand. She sets it in front of Emma and leans back on the marble counter. "I'm Ruby"

"Emma." she takes a sip and moans at the biting taste of the caffeine "That is some good coffee!"

Ruby smiles in return.

"So… where are you from?"

"Boston, just moved here. To this building, actually." she replies, eyes glancing up to indicate where her new apartment is.

"Oh really? I live right across the street.” Ruby provides happily “We should hang out sometime, I could introduce you to the city." She offers, looking truly excited at the prospect of making new friends. Emma, in turn, is thankful for the welcoming environment. Ruby can help her a great deal.

"Sure, that sounds great." She pauses for a moment, contemplating whether or not to ask about a job there. She doesn’t know the place that well to determine if it is crowded enough for money making or not, but she has a feeling that in order to properly provide for herself she will have to go for a fancier waitressing gig, one that willbring some serious cash in. She was probably keeping quiet for too long, drawing her companion's attention.

"What's on your mind?" Ruby inquires, looking at her intently.

"Err, the thing is-” she scratches the back of her neck “I need a job." She pauses.

 _Phrase yourself properly, Swan_.

"But I need, like, a well-paying job, do you happen to know about any good restaurants around here that are hiring?"

She seemed to be overly worried about the brunette's reaction. Ruby just smiles and happily volunteers the name of the restaurant her boyfriend works in. She says it is a fancy one, but Peter can help her get in. Emma finds herself thanking her again and again, but Ruby just waves it off, seemingly happy to be of help. She sticks around for a little longer, chatting to Ruby whenever she is free. It is early in the evening when she gets back to her shoe box, Peter’s number saved in her contacts. She is tired and drained, the excitement that kept her going since five in the morning has already worn off, and she decides to call it a night.

 

*******

 

Ruby keeps true to her word. Peter calls, announcing he has gotten her an interview on Monday morning. That gives Emma two days to wander around the city, freshen up her wardrobe and rest, well aware that this is a privilege she won’t have once she gets a job.

At exactly 10 o’clock on Monday morning, Emma arrives at Antony's. The Italian restaurant does seem pretty fancy, but not overly posh, and Emma hopes she can make some good tips here. The interview goes well, Emma provides a letter of recommendation from Baronio and talks about her past experience. The test shift passes smoothly; having dealt with hundreds of people wanting their food all at the same time, maintaining a decent level of service to a handful of tables is fairly easy. As expected, Emma gets a call that same day. Antony's wants her.

The logic is pretty simple: the faster she masters the menu, the faster she can start getting paid some real money. She memorizes the menu every night for the course of a week, all while working her ass off during shifts to get the hang of the restaurant's chain of actions during service.

Emma passes the menu test and is assigned as a full-paid waitress. She starts with the minimum limit of shifts, five a week, and goes up from there.

A month later, the blonde is up to four double shifts a week and two shifts each weekend. In her free time she hangs with Ruby at Granny's, watches TV at home and sleeps. She desperately wants to start working out, but she keeps coming back from work way too exhausted. Her workload is crazy, and yet it barely covers her living expenses and some spare change for saving purposes. Thinking back, Emma is thankful for her shoe box and its relatively low rent.

It takes her a while to figure out how to pay taxes right, to remember paying for cable, figuring out the perfect grocery list, but for the first time in her life Emma feels in control, like an adult, and she loves every minute of it. She even makes a habit of buying something for the apartment every couple of weeks, slowly but surely, making it her home.

 

*******

 

The loud banging on the door jolts Emma awake.

"Who is it?" she stammers, trying to get her heartbeat under control.

"Who could it be, Em?" Ruby states impatiently from the other side as Emma gets off the couch and makes her way to the door. "Can you stop the investigation and just open the d… Oh hi." She smiles brightly, bypassing Emma on her way in. The blonde remains in place, one hand clutching the door knob and the other furiously rubbing her eye.

"Were you asleep? Again? It's like eight, you old lady."

"Shut up, Rubs. I'm so tired." Emma whines, reclaiming her place on the sofa next to her best friend. Ruby fiddles with the remote, looking for something worth watching.

"That's because you work like crazy." Deeming some talk-show good enough, Ruby sits back, facing Emma. "You need to cut some of your shifts."

Emma sighs, shaking her head.

"You know I can't do that. I need the money.”

“I know you do” her friend nods sympathetically, probably experiencing the exact same financial problems Emma is, being a young woman in New York City.

“It's not even the amount of hours that kills me, it's the physicality of this job. You have no idea how exhausting it is to open the entire restaurant and close it on the same day. My back is killing me and my hands hurt like crazy sometimes."

Ruby just shakes her head. "You need to find a different gig," She determines, and as Emma opens her mouth to respond she quickly adds "You don’t have to drop waitressing completely, just get an office job and do night shifts. Or just the weekends. Everybody knows that's where the money is."

Emma considers it for a moment and deems the idea reasonable.

"That sounds nice, but how am I supposed to get a job? I don't have a college degree nor any experience with office work. There's no way someone will hire me."

They both fallsilent, trying to come up with a solution.

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out." Ruby pats her knee reassuringly.

"Oh! And don't forget your promise, Em,” she smiles wolfishly at her “Since you’re not doing nights this weekend, we are _so_ going out." She bites her lip, quickly adding "Someone has to take the dust off your lady parts."

"Ruby!" Emma exclaims, shooting daggers at her, but Ruby just laughsuntil Emma has no choice but to tag along.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

  


"Dammit, Rubs. I hate you!"

Ruby couldn't help but giggle, obviously there wasn't an ounce of hatred in Emma's tone.

"What did I do?" she feigns innocence while her eyes shine with mirth.

"Why did you have to introduce me to your bear claws?" she moans, her mouth still full with the soft sweet pastry.

"Do you have any idea the damage it will cause my wallet," Emma swallows the remains of the bear claw "And my figure, god! I'll be fat." She puts her greasy hands on her stomach and pats it reassuringly.

"You know I don't work out. You are a bad friend, Ruby Lucas." The blonde points at her accusingly, earning an amused chuckle from her companion.

Ruby lifts her hands in surrender "Calm down, Drama Queen. Like you have anything to worry about, you look like a fucking athlete."

"Ruby!" Granny calls from her spot near the kitchen entrance, her 'no bullshit face' plastered firmly in place.

"Perk up your ears and open your eyes. You need to start paying attention to the new patrons coming in. Don't make me come out here again."

Ruby smiles apologetically at Emma and rushes towards one of the recently filled booths, leaving her alone with her coffee.

It is late morning and the place is relatively empty, making it fairly easy for Emma to drift off in thought. She _so_ doesn’t want to go out that night. Every free night from work is a blessing; allowing her to just hang around the apartment in her underwear and watch crappy TV until she passes out on the couch. That is her definition of a good Friday night, not going out to bars reeking of booze and shoving off unwanted male attention. The only outcome from an evening out would be a severe damage to her wallet and a difficult shift the following morning.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ruby is back behind the counter, having taken an order from the new table.

"I just,” she sighs, pinching her the bridge of her nose “Just keep in mind that I don't want to spend a lot of money tonight, you know I'm struggling with that, right?"

"Spend a lot of money? On what?"

Emma frowns "What do you mean ‘on what’? We’re going out tonight, aren’t we?"

The waitress shoots her an incredulous look. "Entrance for women before eleven is free and the drinks will be bought for you.”

The conversation was getting more and more confusing by the minute.

“Bought by whom?” she asks, genuinely puzzled.

“By guys, duh! That's what guys are for, silly.” the brunette rolls her eyes, saying that as if it’s the most obvious thing. “All you need to do is put on a dress and you won’t have to pay for a thing."

"I…"

"You do own a dress, right?"

Silence.

“Right?"

The blonde just shrugs and Ruby’s mouth forms into an ‘o’ shape.

“How is it even possible for a girl not to own a dre-” she huffs, rolling her eyes “Fine, I'll give you one of my dresses."

Emma snorts and shakes her head.

"No way, your clothes are so skimpy, I'm not going out wearing something like that."

Ruby feigns a hurt face, a hand placed over heart.

"Ouch! Besides, I'm so much taller than you, my dresses will practically reach your knees." she reasons.

It requires way too much energy to argue with Ruby, so Emma relents, agreeing to meet her at her place once she finishes her shift.

  


*******

  


Antony's is down at 57th street and Emma usually walks there when the weather allows. But it is winter already and it is freezing outside, so Emma hops on the bus going downtown. She sits down, immediately thanking the built-in heating system in the large vehicle.

She needs to buy a better winter coat, as a matter of urgency; her leather jacket just won’t cut it anymore. She gets off the bus right in front of the restaurant, wearing her work attire: black pants and a plain black shirt, currently covered by her brown leather jacket.

The restaurant is still empty, since Antony's only serves lunch and dinner, and she immediately spots Ashley. Emma gives her a quick hug before entering the staff room to shove her bag in one of the lockers. She has a feeling that this is going to be a good shift; Ashley is a great waitress, nice and friendly to work with and they areboth blonde, which always does wonders to the tip-jar.

Ashley was shy having been a teen mom. Getting pregnant with her daughter, Lin, and deciding to keep her at the young age of twenty pushed her life completely off course. While her boyfriend, Sean, stayed in school, Ashley continuedliving at her parents' house in Brooklyn, waiting for him to graduate and get a job.

Since then, they’ve moved to livinglife in shifts: Ashley spends the day with her little girl and works the night shifts whereas Sean works during the day and watches the baby at night. The only time you see Ashley working during the day is if Sean gets sick. He stays with the kid so Ashley can come home at night to take care of them both. That was probably the case today.

Watching Ashley working her butt off, yet never getting to see her family properly, is enough toconfirm that what Emma has been thinking over the last couple of weeks is true; She needs to find a better job, one with a future.

At themoment she isfit and healthy and she doesn’t need to take care of anyone but herself. But one day she might have a family or health issues, and then what? She’d like to be able to support them and take care of herself, but in order to do that, she would need a job with evolving potential, where she could get promoted and climb up the job ladder. Having a degree would make it a lot easier to acquire a profession, but it wasn’t the only option. So she couldn’t be an engineer or a doctor, but there are plenty of job opportunities out there where she could grow and evolve, even if she started with nothing.

Take those huge real estate companies for example. Or all of those businessmen who started with five dollars in their pockets and made it to Forbes list. They have all proven it’s possible to be someone, reach places, even without proper education. She should get a job in one of those companies. She may have failed in school, but she isnowhere near dumb; she is actually clever, smart and has a very good work ethic. All she has to do is put her heart and mind to it, put in the hours, work hard, and the opportunities will show up. That's what she'dd-

"Emma"

She is snapped out of her daze and turns to look at Ashley.

"Briefing time”

Mumbling a _sorry,_ Emmajoins Ashley as they hurry out of the room to start their shift.

  


*******

  


As expected, the shift passes smoothly. One impressively generous tip was enough to lighten Emma's mood, and by the time she makes it home she is actually excited at the prospect of going out, as well as motivated to find a job.

"I think I'm ready" she calls and Ruby enters the room, eyes immediately scanning her dress-clad figure.

"Wow, Emma, you look _good_ ” she compliments, her tone dropping an octave at the last word. "If I were into girls…" she winks and Emma turns crimson at the insinuation.

"Err, thanks?" Emma clears her throat uncomfortably, making Ruby chuckle.

"Calm your tits, I was just kidding. You need to get your act together.” the brunette shakes her head “Seriously, are you going to get this flustered every time a girl hits on you? Because that's just going to make them think that you are inters-"

Emma puts her hands up, effectively halting Ruby’s blabber.

"Whoa, stop there. What do you mean when girls hit on me?" she frowns “Why would they hit on me?”

“Seriously?” Ruby arches an eyebrow in question.

When Emma shrugs, showing no signs of understanding, the brunette elaborates.

"This is New York City, honey. The 'LGBT Mecca' of the east coast. I know that where you came from you may get your ass kicked justfor looking at someone, but here: they look, they touch, they buy you drinks and then ask you on a date. Hell, if I had to guess, I’d probably say that there are more gays and lesbians in this city then there are straight people."

“I-” she stammers, the statement hitting her like a brick. Whether it is the message it conveys or the blunt way it was said, Emma finds herself at a loss for words.

"I hope you're not homophobic." Ruby states casually as if they were discussing what she ate for lunch. "I say take advantage of it. Work in the quarters system, like I do." she shrugs when Emma continues to say nothing in return.

There are so many questions floating in her mind, yet Emma finds herself asking the least important one.

"What's the quarters system?"

"You know, it’s designed to help you experience everything while staying in balance. You divide your sex-life into four equal parts. Each part represents a category. First is meaningful sex, with emotions, driven by love, you know… The second one is meaningless sex, since we all need to have a couple of one night stands in our lives. Though fuck buddies could also work. Third one is experimenting, all those crazy things you’d do in college, like girls, or threesomes. And the last one is kinks.” Since Emma isn’t showing any signs of responding coherently, she elaborates "you know, like bondage, role play, food play, all the fun stuff." She smiles mischievously. “And then, when you finally tie the knot and settle down you know you have tried everything.” she concludes proudly.

"Wow, that’s...” Emma swallows, trying to process all the information she’s just heard "You are one hell of a character, Ruby" she chuckles uncomfortably, scratching the back of her neck.

"I know,” the brunette smiles “and I also know that I’ve thrown you into some deep water here, but I just want you to be prepared. Things tick differently in this city..."

Emma nods in understanding, watchingRuby rise from her sofa.

"Oh!” she calls as she walks towards the main door “And remember, if someone hits on you and you don't want them to, I'm your girlfriend. Let's go." She storms out, signaling Emma to follow.

  


*******

  


At first sight 'Flanagan's' looks pretty basic. A classic Irish pub.

But the brunette insists again and again that it isn’t. According to Ruby, the owner's kid married some indie chick, and she was the one helping him turn the place into a gem.

After a handful of suggestive smiles and sweet talkingfrom Ruby’s end, the bouncer lets Emma in. One scan around the placeis enough for Emma to understand what Ruby was talking about. The large space is occupied by several booths for those who want a more private environment. There are pool tables, foosball tables, and several targets hanging on perforated walls. The rest of the space contains normal tables, sofas and the bar. The place is inexplicably warm and inviting, and definitely, definitely cool. Turning to look at Ruby, she gives her the thumbs up, earning a smile in return.

Ruby definitely gets points for this one.

"I know," Ruby says, as if reading Emma's mind "And you should check out the roof! In the summer you can go up and take inthe amazing view of the city." she nods excitedly.

"Awesome," she smiles "nice call, Ruby".

The place alternates between empty to being almost full. At one point, all the chairs are taken, and Emma isgrateful for the awesome sofa spots they had managed to get for themselves. Emma was never really into drinking, but Ruby seems to have fun downing one drink after the other. Soon, drunk Ruby makes an appearance.

IfEmma thought sober Ruby was vulgar and funny, that was nothing comparedtoher drunk version. Emma has the time of her life, laughing and dancing with Ruby without Granny around to order her back to work. At some point during the night, Ruby spots people she knows and invites them to jointheirtable. They are a lot to take in at first, but soon enough Emma warms up to them.

She ends up talking to Josh, a twenty-two-year-old who has been studying Law and minoring in social work. He tells her about a program for foster kids, created to help integrating them in workplaces despite their lack of experience or education. It is the first time she’s told a complete stranger about her time in the system. It turnsout to be a pretty good call. Josh is extremely nice about it, buying her a drink as he explains it all in detail, including what she should do in order to qualify for the program. He takes it a step further, giving her his cell phone number in case she has any questions.

They keep talking about all kinds of things, like their shared love for sports, and the Knicks in particular, when Ruby interrupts with a slouched posture and a hand draped around Emma's shoulder, whispering in the loudest voice ever that she thinksJosh might be into her. As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough, Ruby continues pressing the issue, urging Emma 'to give him a little somethin' somethin''. Josh turns bright red, mumbling somethinginaudible, while Emma just rolls her eyes and shoves Ruby away.

Eventually, not long after the ridiculous incident with Ruby, Josh announces hisdeparture, claiming he has some studying to do the next morning. He gets up, assuring her once again that it was not his intention to hit on her. Emma waves him off with an easy smile, insisting that no harm was done. After the usual pleasantries, he bidsher goodbye, not before, however, suggesting theywatch a ball game sometime.

Overall, the night was a huge success and even Emma would admit that she had quite enjoyed herself. It was nice meeting new people and hanging out with Ruby in a non-work environment.

So when Ruby asks her how it was, Emma smiles and replies with "We can definitely do it again." The brunette, in return, elbows her in the ribs and smiles smugly, job well done.

Once back in her apartment, Emma can’tbringherself to sleep. She opens her newly purchased laptop, searching the program Josh had told her about. She retrieves the piece of paper he gave her out of her jacket, with pointers on the registering process, and starts filling the application exactly as he had instructed her to.

With a couple of sections filled out, she starts tofeel the exhaustion overflowing her system. A quick look at the clock is enough for her to make her way to bed. It is time to go to sleep, that is if she wants to be able to pull herself out of bed in time for her shift tomorrow morning. She steps out of the dress, lazily removes her make-up and sinks into the soft mattress with a groan.

_Tomorrow_ , she promises to herself, _she will resume_ _filling_ _out_ _the file._ And then, first thing Monday morning, she will set up an appointment in the closest welfare office. Things are about to change, that's for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter** **3**

  


"Name?"

"Emma Swan"

"Please type your social security number here…” she gestures towards the touch-screen located on the counter and the blonde soon follows “Good."

The clerk hands her a paper with a serial number on it. 

"Please take the next right here," she points to the end of the corridor "then take the elevator to the third floor and wait by room 304 to be called."

Emma thanks her politely and heads towards the elevators. As she presses the button to the elevator she can feel a vibration in her back pocket. She fishes her cell phone out, the screen still on with a text from Josh, wishing her luck and offering his help in case something goes wrong. She replies with a quick _thank_ _s_ and enters the elevator. 

She is sitting on one of the uncomfortable and extremely unstable waiting chairs when her number is called. "Z298?"

"Yes, here" she raises her hand, lifting her backpack and following the dark-skinned woman into the room. 

The office is small yet packed: the small sofa, the armchair, the desk and the huge cupboard, all fill the space efficiently, leaving almost no room for moving around. Emma scans the book-stocked shelves; medical books, physiology books, books about the family structure and behavioral 'manuals'. Emma knows those types of rooms all too well. She spent hours upon hours on those cheap sofas, refusing to talk to the obnoxiously nice social workers. This is where you’re sent to if you cause troubles. And Emma? Emma had an aura of trouble surrounding her at all times.

She was never a talker. She didn't like sharing her thoughts, especially when it felt like no one really gave a shit about what she had to say. So she kept quiet. She may have been quiet, but never weak; Emma always stood up for herself. But in foster care, they don't care who started it and why, all they care about is keeping those kids quiet, so they can get their monthly paychecks. So, little, and then not so little, Emma found herself constantly visiting social workers and therapists, all trying to coax out some explanation to why she kept picking fights. They tried to get to the root of the problem, to fix her, but Emma kept it to herself, inwardly mocking their naivety. 

What could a middle-aged woman, a Dr. with a career and money and probably a family who waits for her to come back home every night, possibly know? How could this woman begin to understand what Emma was going through? Being left alone, becoming government property as if she were a piece of land, being sent back and forth to all kinds of houses where she was just an additional income, getting picked on and having no one to stand for her; there’s no conveying such experiences with simple words, so why bother trying? She would never fully understand that Emma wasn’t the one starting those fights. She would never feel that constant need to protect herself in a hostile environment, having to defend herself when the boys in the house are going through a phase where they all want the “pretty, blonde girl”, demanding her to bend herself to their will, to their urges. So, Emma ended up punching one of them in the face and another one in the nuts, hoping that would keep them away long enough, at least until her knuckles heal and she can do it again. 

Emma didn't like the system and has tried her best to avoid accepting any help from them. But she needs a job. So just this time, she is going to bite her tongue, bow her head, and let them help her.

She closes her eyes and breathes slowly in an attempt to calm herself down. 

_This is not a session._ _Y_ _ou don't need approval, you don't need to share, you are an adult._

She opens her eyes, spotting Tammy – as her name tag indicated – already positioned on the chair with a hand gesturing to the sofa. 

"Please, have a sit, Emma."

She complies, her hands immediately folding in front of her stomach in a protecting gesture. Tammy seems to pick up on that change of posture fairly quickly.

"There’s nothing to be nervous about,” she smiles reassuringly “It’s just a procedure." she promises with a soft voice and Emma’s tensed posture softens immediately. 

"Let me start by telling you about the program. As you probably know, Emma, education is expensive. A lot of the kids in the foster system don't have the means to provide for themselves, nonetheless afford higher education. We have all kinds of scholarships and programs to help kids from the system enter the world of academics. But during the past few years we, as an office, came to the conclusion that as much as we would like all the kids in our care to carry on and educate themselves on a higher level, we also have to provide them with other solutions. This is how this program was created. Its purpose is enabling opportunities for foster kids to work at places they normally wouldn't be accepted to without the experience and the education. Some of the jobs are physical, others more administrative. We select a workplace for you based on the papers you've submitted, your skill-set and your preferences. So far, is everything clear?"

After Emma's confirmation nod, Tammy retrieves a brown paper folder from one of the desk drawers. She places it on the coffee table and turns it around so it faces Emma. While still closed, she continues.

"In this folder, you'll find all the information you need. But to sum it up for you: your application has been reviewed and approved by us as well as by the company you were assigned to. This means you’ll need to call the number written here and set a date for a final interview. Since you don't have the required skills and knowledge, you will have a training period in which you will get paid only for food and transportation, like an internship. The length of your training depends only on your progress, so work hard and start getting paid. Now, the minute you contact the company, we're out of the loop. From that moment on, you are their employee and your promotion options are unlimited and up to you."

Tammy opens the folder, and the minute Emma's eyes land on the company's name she lets out an involuntary gasp. 

"I know," Emma looks up to a warmly smiling Tammy "You've hit the jackpot."

The blonde can’t do much but nod.

Emma doesn’t know a lot about companies and business, and all she wanted was to be in a good and respected company that had room for growth.

And she got 'Mills' Corporation'!

This is _the_ company: A huge, successful family business that includes real estate, investments, transactions and so on. They are big, powerful, and prestigious. Even if things don't work out there, having the Mills stamp on her reputation will get her into any place she desires. 

"Do you have any questions?" 

"No,” Emma beams at her, cheeks hurting from the stretch of her smile “thank you so much, Tammy."

Her companion returns the smile. "You are very welcome, Emma" she stands up and approaches the door, opening it for Emma. "This is a great opportunity" she adds "Make it count."

The smile is gracing her face when she leaves the office, remaining in place all the way out of the building. She checks her phone, immediately replying to a newly received text from Josh. 

  


_**Josh** _ _\- So, how did it go?_

_**Swan** _ _\- Great. Guess where._

_**Josh** _ _\- Seriously? Do you have any idea how many companies are out there? Err let's see…_

_**Swan** _ _\- Mills_

_**Josh** _ _\- What about them?_

She stares at her phone with a smile, waiting for it to sink in.

_**Josh** _ _\- Wait, Mills as in Mills' corporation?!?_

_**Swan** _ _\- That's the one_

_**Josh** _ _\- I can't believe it, I shouldn't have helped you and just keep it to myself. Lucky_ _bastard._

_**Swan** _ _\- Love you too._

_**Josh** _ _\- Ha. No, but seriously, congratulations! Go show them who's the boss._

_**Swan** _ _\- I will. thanks :)_

_**Josh** _ _-_ _Sure._ _Oh_ _!_ _and don't forget to tell me what Ruby says, she probably will have a cursive mouth diarrhea syndrome_ _when she hears this_ _:_ _D_

_**Swan** _ _-_ _Probably, haha._ _Consider it done._

_**Josh** _ _\- Btw, there's a Knicks game this weekend, wanna go watch it at some bar?_ _Bring_ _Ruby along, I'm sure she'll appreciate_ _the booze._

_**Swan** _ _\- I bet she will. Sounds cool, let me check my shifts and get back to you on that._

_**Josh** _ _\- You got it._

  


*******

  


As expected, Ruby trashes like a sailor, making her excitement and outrage at Emma’s luck known by using every single swear word known to humanity. That is, of course, until Granny comes out of the kitchen, fuming, and drags her by the ear; Emma's laugh accompanying them all the way to the back room. 

When Ruby comes back, seconds later, she’s significantly less enthusiastic, verbally at least. Emma smiles at her, fingers pressing _send_ under the table. Josh finds Ruby's range of vocabulary so funny that all he sends back is a recording of him laughing hysterically.

"He is a really good guy you know?" Ruby says, serious all of a sudden. The care is showing in her voice, and it warms Emma’s heart.

"I know" She agrees.

"Why don't you give him a chance then? Since I've met you, and it was like, what? six months ago; you haven't mentioned anyone – no dates, no hook ups, no crushes."

"Crushes, Ruby? What are we, ten?"

"Come on, you know what I mean"

"I dunno, Rubs, I've been so busy. Besides, I'm pretty used to being alone. I mean, it would be nice to have someone but it's not like I need it or anything." She shrugs in response.

She knows it’s not normal. People date and break up and date again, and she has done none of those. Her sole romantic experience was with Neal, and even that was mainly because he was the first person to ever show interest. He cared about her, he was nice to her, and it felt good, so she let him. 

She never truly felt attracted to someone, never understood the whole tingly feelings thing, the butterflies in your stomach and instant connections. She has never experienced sexual chemistry with someone, never looked at a guy and felt her insides clench. She figured it was just the way she was wired: closed off, maybe even numb, and so she made her peace with that. 

When no one bothered caring about her, it was rather easy living that way. Now, though, it’s a whole other story. 

"You should never be too busy to have a boyfriend," Ruby pauses "Or a girlfriend" she adds in afterthought "whatever floats your boat."

Emma's shoulders immediately tense. She could feel her heart hammering in her throat. 

"What are you talking about? Do you think I'm gay, I'm not gay." She replies quickly, decisively.

"Okay" the brunette lifts her hands in surrender but her face remains skeptical "I'm just saying that _if_ you were, I'd be okay with that." 

"Well I know you would but I'm straight, as straight as it gets."

Emma can’t, for the life of her, explain her distress. She knows Ruby is just trying to be nice and accepting, and there she was, flying off the handle. 

"Ruby!" saved by the bell, or more accurately by Granny, Emma motions Ruby to go ahead. She hesitates, looking like she wants to say something, but then she turns around and scurries away. Emma sags against the chair, the fight leaving her body. With her heart still thrumming, she places a five dollar bill and leaves. 

The cold air hits her face in the form of needles. She closes her eyes, enjoying the sensation. The street is mostly empty, since no person in their right mind would go for a stroll when it's barely twenty degrees out. The sharpness of the cold invades her body, making the hair on the back of her neck stand. Despite it being physically uncomfortable, it helps clear her head and soothe her soul, and so she decides to go on a stroll. 

She rubs her face in frustration. She was acting like a homophobe with no apparent reason. She is not a lesbian, obviously, but that doesn’t mean she gets to climb all over Ruby when she was just trying to be nice. And girls are beautiful creatures, she could definitely see why some women would find them appealing.

Obviously Ruby was mistaken, but that’s okay, she meant no harm. Emma should stop taking things to heart. She doesn’t get offended when Ruby calls her a nun, she knows it’s not true and Ruby is just messing with her. The same applies here, she concludes, she shouldn’t care, it’s not true. 

She keeps walking until she feels like herself again.

When she makes it back to the apartment she texts Ruby, apologizing for her outburst. The brunette replies with a blowing kiss emoji. Emma beams at the screen, Ruby is a keeper.

  


*******

  


That night, for the first time in months, Emma feels the need to touch herself.

It isn’t terribly unbearable, just a little itch that needs to be scratched. 

The gentle pulses of pleasure are getting frequent, and right when she starts feeling the pressure in her lower abdomen, a picture of two women kissing pops into her head. She has never witnessed two girls kissing (maybe just a peck when in a club). Surprised at the image her mind conjured, her focus shifts and she completely disregards the hand working between her legs. A second later, relief washes over her. The serenity soon replaced by embarrassment when she realizes what had just occurred. Mad at herself for not pulling her hand away and allowing this to happen, she turns on her stomach and buries her face in the pillow; a good orgasm wasted. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

  


Emma is well aware that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, one she wasn't going to waste. The fact that Mills' were big and successful is known to all, but Emma needs to know more. And that’s what Google is for, right? 

Sitting on a bar stool in Granny's, with her laptop connected to the extra plug near the cash register, Emma reads in earnest. Some of what she reads, she repeats to Ruby when the brunette passes her seat "Did you know they are one of the largest all-American companies?" and "Wow, they're also involved in technology and data combined housing" 

Ruby, in turn, would give her a thumbs up and go back to her previous occupation.

  


*******

  


Sitting on her sofa, Emma eyes her cell phone wearily. Eventually, after minutes of doing nothing, she picks it up and dials the number. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, Miss Nolan?" 

"Yes?"

"It's Emma Swan, I'm calling about the job." 

Silence.

Emma clears her throat and tries again "The welfare program for" automatically lowering her voice like any other time she has to discuss her past, and continues "Adults who grew up in foster care."

"Oh! Yes, of course! Hi, Emma, it's good to hear from you."

She sighs in relief, finally leaning comfortably against the couch.

"Yes, thank you" she replies, not knowing what else to say.

"You were instructed to contact me regarding the details of your employment, correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I would love to explain everything but I think it's better we meet and talk about it in person."

"Yes, I agree."

"Good, how about tomorrow? The position we would like to offer you needs to be filled quickly."

"Sure, tomorrow sounds good."

"Okay, hold on a second” the sound of typing fills the line. A moment later Kathryn’s back “How about 8:30 in the morning? Or is it too early for you?" the light-hearted tease can be easily spotted, making her smile.

"8:30 is perfect"

"Excellent, I will see you tomorrow then. Please bring the file you were given and some kind of identification, it could be your ID or drivers' license."

"Will do. And thank you." She adds as an afterthought.

"No problem, have a good evening."

"You too."

And just like that, she has got herself an appointment at Mills' Corp. 

_Dammit_ , she combs a hand through her hair, she needs something to wear. 

She digs in her closet, looking for nothing in particular. Eventually, coming across the, apparently, only pair of tailored pants she owns. She doesn’t even remember getting them but they are a blessed find, nonetheless. She matches it with her white buttoned up shirt and simple black shoes. Needless to say that Emma doesn’t own anything fancy like pantsuits or power suits, she doesn’t even own heels. Well, at least not that are work-appropriate. 

Both shirt and pants are more wrinkled than the 90-year-old Nana, who used to sit right across the street from her foster home and stare at nothing all day. She makes her way down to the second floor, and with a shy smile asks for Mrs. O'Malley's help. The older woman is thrilled at the prospect of helping, happily ushering Emma in. Ordering Emma to sit quietly with a cup of tea in hand, she does all the work. The blonde feels uncomfortable sitting there doing nothing, but Rosie seems genuinely happy to have someone to take care of, so she lets this one go. 

With clothes straightened and folded neatly in a bag, Emma is sent back to her place. _Black under your eyes creates a bad impression, honey._ _T_ _ry to avoid it._ Rosie lectures as she goes up the stairs and all Emma can to do is agree.

  


*******

  


"Ruby, I'm not hungry" 

She shoves the plate away just to have it shoved right back at her by an irritated looking Ruby.

"Emma, you need to eat. Do you want your stomach grumbling throughout the interview?"

"No, but-"

"Eat!"

"Fine!"

Exasperated, Emma forces in one mouthful after the other. Deep down, she knows Ruby is absolutely right, she needs to eat. But her stomach has been in knots since the previous night; her mind swirling with the same repeating thought that somehow, with her terrible luck and (lack of) grace, she would manage to mess it up. It's all set, it's not even a real interview and the job is already hers, but trust Emma Swan to screw up a safe bet. 

Today, of all the days, she woke up with a mess of curls that refused to submit itself to her endless attempts of combing it into a semi-presentable mane. Eventually, she gave up and scooped it into a high ponytail. Emma wasn't really a make-up person, and attempting to change that on an important interview day seemed futile and unbelievably risky; and so, she ended up using some mascara and nothing more.

Shoving in about half of what she was served seems to satisfy Ruby, earning Emma some approval. She sticks a hand in her bag, looking for a spare change.

"Leave it,” Ruby dismisses “good luck" she leans in to kiss her goodbye and pushes her towards the exit.

  


*******

  


The building is, at least, sixty stories of silver, metal, and glass. The name 'Mills' Corporations' is carved in the metal, contributing to the building’s modern, clean look. The sheer glass allows a glimpse of the people in the building, in their work environment.

The building’s entrance, a long row of glassed spinning doors, occupies the entire front-side of the building. She pushes her way in, immediately met with clean, marble-like scent. 

Eyes scanning the multiple reception desks, she goes for a non-occupied one.

"Welcome to Mills' Corporations, how may I help you?" the redhead receptionist smiles politely from her seat.

"Hey, I'm Emma Swan, I'm here to see Ms. Nolan."

"One moment, please" she holds up the phone, as delicate manicured fingers dial the number, and waits for the other side to pick up.

"Hey, Anna? It's Lisa from the reception."

A pause.

"Mmm," she hums in response "Yes, I have Emma Swan here, for Ms. Nolan." 

Another pause. 

"Yes. Of course. I understand. I'll let her know. Thank you. You too."

Looking up, the redhead informs "Ms. Swan, Ms. Nolan is located in our Finance Department. Entering this floor requires an authorized badge. Therefore, a representative will come to escort you in a moment. Please go ahead and have a seat, I'll direct her to you once she arrives." She gestures towards the lounge area.

"Thank you."

There are sofas, armchairs and coffee tables with today's papers neatly folded on top, scattered all around the waiting area. 

She sits down and takes a look around, intrigued. The people surrounding her are impeccably dressed, sharp suits and expensive looking dresses, looking like they came out of a movie. Emma looks down at her outfit, deflating a little upon realizing that she sticks out like a sore thumb.

"Miss Swan?" she looks up to a petite blonde woman, at best, in her twenties, wearing a pretty similar set of clothes to what she has on. Maybe she is not _that_ under-dressed after all. 

"I am Ms. Nolan's assistant, if you would please join me." She gestures towards a line of glass tag-readers. 

Emma follows her into the elevator. The woman presses the 72 button, earning an impressed look from Emma in return. 

"You're pretty high up there, huh?"

She asks in an attempt to break the awkward silence. There is still an impressive amount of floors left to cross for them to reach their destination. 

"Yes, I guess so" she smiles "but you get used to it." Emma nods and after a short pause the petite blonde adds "To be honest, I was terrified at first."

"Yes, I can see why." They share an understanding smile. A minute later, the doors of the elevator open. 

The welcoming view is pretty similar to the first floor: sharp, clean, modern, white, glasses and silver metal; Clean desks, glass offices, and well-dressed people. It looks like she’s back to feeling under-dressed. She follows the assistant through the corridor, all the way to the end, where offices are getting bigger and more 'expensive looking' as they go. The last few are simply luxurious: white couches, conference tables and extensive windows with the mesmerizing view of the city. 

They reach a closed door. The blonde knocks lightly, opening it a moment later, not bothering to wait for a _come_ _in_. 

"Kathryn" she peeks in "Emma Swan is here".

She opens the door and waits for Emma to enter the room. The office is spacious and beautifully designed, much to Emma’s admiration. The blonde (are there any brunettes here?) rises from her chair, offering a hand.

"Hello, I'm Kathryn Nolan"

"Emma" she responded kindly, as their hands connect in a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you Emma, please have a sit."

  


*******

  


In the blink of an eye, the meeting is over. 

She is due to start working the following week. According to Kathryn, she will be doing, mainly, logistic work such as keeping up with meetings, project's timelines and managing incoming information. She learns that Kathryn is the HR manager of the entire building, and is sitting in the Finance dept. due to their undeniable connection. She will also be seated at that department, and work next to Mary Margaret Blanchard; the secretary of the dept. manager, Regina Mills.

Emma has never heard of Regina, who she assumes is related to the management. She knows of Henry and Cora, the founders of the company and the ones running it (Cora, the European extension and Henry here, in the United States). She also knows Zelena, the head of Public Relations and the face of the company. But Regina, she has never heard of, even after her extensive research. Making a mental note to look her up when she gets home, Emma leaves the building and heads uptown.

On her way home she stops at Forever 21 to buy additional pairs of tailored pants, four buttoned-up shirts in various colors, a black pair of elegant-looking shoes, and one tailored blazer. It’s not cheap (despite it being Forever 21), and definitely not easy on her wallet, but it’s necessary, at least until she can afford more clothes, better clothes.

  


*******

  


Sitting on her couch, a bottle of beer in hand and laptop on her thighs, she researches. 

Apparently, this Regina is a mastermind, or at least something close to that. A double-major in Business Management and Economy from Columbia University, where she, of course, was the first in her class. After graduation, Regina started working for the family business, becoming the Financial dept.’s head at the young age of twenty-seven. Commentators predict a bright future for this lady, including leading the entire company once her parents have retired. 

Despite her famous family-status, Emma can’t find pictures of her. Searching for them leads her to blogs discussing the fact that, unlike her other family members, Regina tends to stay out of the spotlight and manage a private life. 

Emma tries to think of possible reasons for her to stay off the spotlight. Failing to think of a reasonable explanations, Emma entertains herself with rather ridiculous ones. Maybe she is not good looking in comparison to her pretty nice looking family and feels bad about it. Maybe, for the nerd that she obviously is, she is so socially inept that she can't keep up with her family's good reputation. 

Emma chuckles as possible looks of her future boss, each version nerdier and weirder than its prior, pop in her head. She pictures her fat with puberty-pimples that never went away. Then, as extremely lanky with an 80s looking hair, huge round glasses and no social manners.

She keeps that up for a while, but it’s getting late. Knowing she has to work the following morning (and evening, those double shifts be damned), she calls it a night. She will have to talk to Stephan about reducing the number of her shifts, weekends only, until she gets settled in her new job. Then, if possible, she'll add two or three night shifts during the week. 

_Maybe she's short, chubby and hairy like her father._ Her mind suggests, and an involuntarily snort escapes.

_Go to sleep, Swan_

Mentally chastising herself, she orders her eyes to close, and soon sleep takes over. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

  


_**Josh** \- So… Seeing the Knicks tonight? _

_**Swan** \- Omg I'm so sorry, I totally forgot. I’m working /:_

_**Josh** \- That's ok, maybe next time?_

_**Swan** \- Sure_

_**Josh** \- You had your meeting today, right? How did it go?_

_**Swan** \- I did, it was great. Starting next week. _

_**Josh** \- Cool…_

_**Swan** \- Sorry about the whole game thing..._

_**Josh** \- No worries_

  


"What did your lip ever do to you?"

Looks like she is back to the old habit of chewing her lip, as Ruby’s so thoughtfully points out.

"I told Josh I might watch the Knicks game with him, and totally forgot about it."

Ruby's face lights up, but Emma cuts in before she has any chance to make assumptions.

"Not like that, you were supposed to come too. We're just friends." She watches her friend's face crumble.

"Please, let me find you a boyfriend."

She lets out a sigh, knowing Ruby is not going to let this one go.

"I just don’t feel like dating right now." she provides lamely.

"But you never feel like dating." 

Ruby insists in a childlike manner, earning an eye-roll from the blonde. 

"Don't you have costumers to serve?" she stresses, knowing it is a risky move. 

"You just wait."

The look Ruby sends her way is deadly. Betraying Ruby like that by sending her back to work wasn't a nice thing to do, she is well aware, but the prospect of further questioning pushed her to do it anyway. 

What could she possibly say to her? That in the past couple of weeks, ever since they had that talk, her brain was acting weird? That every time she sees girls holding hands or hug she’s immediately intrigued? That whenever a girl is being nice to her she can't help but wonder if it's because she's into her? That she can't help but look at them and wonder to herself: is she gay? Would Emma, if she were gay – which of course, she is not – date her? Kiss her? Just to feel what it’s like, kissing such soft plum lips. 

How can she even start explaining the weird turn her brain has taken, leading her to previously unattended thoughts?

That talk has alerted her to a whole new breed she had completely overlooked until then; The soft curves, creamy skin, and gentle femininity, strong yet so graceful. The way women carry themselves, she can easily see the endearment it awakens, even in her, even if platonically so.

She wonders if someone ever looks at her like she looks at girls now, if someone is that appreciative of her like she is of them. Then, the insinuation dawns on her, and she shuts down that line of thought as quickly as it appeared. 

Still, Emma finds herself pondering the state of singlehood quite a bit. 

Emma lives in a deadly contradiction, one where she wants the best out there for herself, all while knowing she’s way out of that league, and therefore would never really get it. It results in a painfully single, and rather horny, if she may, Emma.

It has been months since things ended with Neal, and having been with no one else, Emma’s craving the physicality of a relationship. She would be the first to admit that sex, in all honesty, isn’t what everyone makes of it; it can be nice, yes, but nothing more than pleasant. With that said, once you get used to something and it’s taken away from you, you miss it.

And Emma misses having someone. She is tired of wandering around, utterly frustrated. It is messing with her head. 

And it showed during Ashley's birthday the previous week. Wanting to celebrate properly, for the first time in a while, all the waiters decided on a night out at a Dance-Bar. 

Despite the chilly air outside, the bar itself was hot and humid, packed with barely-dressed girls. And Emma, helpless to this new habit she has occurred, scans the room in search of girls she would possibly like; that is, of course, if she were gay.

Not in the mood for dancing, Emma found herself at the bar, where she could easily scan the dance floor in search of her next subject. She had company. Not long after they arrived, a fairly handsome guy approached her. They talked for a little while, but soon Emma got bored with him, eyes zeroing on her friends on the dance floor, in lack of a better thing to do. 

Unfazed by her demeanor, or more likely, for some reason, encouraged by her distant behavior, he insisted on buying her a drink. Not in the mood to waste money, she agreed, a decision she then regretted. He stuck around throughout the evening, talking to other people as well, but always returning to her side.

He was in the midst of talking about his work when a dancing figure caught Emma’s attention. The brunette’s curvy form was easily detected in a skin-tight red dress, and against her better judgment, Emma’s gaze was on her from that moment.

At first, she danced alone, body swaying sensually to the beat. Eventually, she was joined by who Emma assumed was a platonic friend. Her dancing, however, wasn’t anything remotely close to platonic: with their bodies painfully close, they moved together, grinding their hips against one another. Emma couldn’t tear her eyes away, mesmerized by the scene unfolding right in front of her.

Intensive staring is always bound to end badly, and Emma’s time had come; The brunette’s eyes landed on hers before Emma had the chance of averting her gaze.

Her face heated instantly, to the other woman’s amusement. The latter scanned Emma, eyes ending on her face while a smirk was firmly placed her face. She winked at her, tongue running over her lower lip as she flushed her body against her friend’s. Hands immediately circled her narrow hips, pushing her harder into the body dancing next to her, all while her eyes bore into Emma’s. 

Her inner muscles clenched, thighs sticking together as an overwhelming desire washed over her body, settling in her lower abdomen. The insinuation of what it might mean terrified her. She downed her drink and pressed herself against the guy, who immediately followed her line of thought, kissing her passionately. Kissing him back, Emma tried to lose herself in his mouth, and the fact that she felt nothing wasn’t lost on her.

Tearing herself from him, she edged towards the exit, heart hammering in her chest. He, of course, wasn’t going to give up that easily, and chased her as she maneuvered her way through the crowed. 

She rushed outside, taking a right turn and then a left one. Stopping only when she was absolutely sure she'd lost him. She leaned against a wall and closed her eyes, ordering herself to calm down. 

_Wrong guy,_ she reasoned to herself, _that’s all_.

And the girl, well that was just the alcohol in her system. 

Thinking about it now makes Emma’s face heat up and she looks around the diner to make sure no one noticed her embarrassment. She lifts the cup and takes a sip, a pathetic attempt to hide her reddening cheeks. _Stop thinking about it._

Maybe she should date Josh. It will probably take those ridiculous thoughts out of her head. He is a good guy, well put together and she likes him, a lot. _As a friend_ , she rubs her eyes furiously. She likes him as a friend. 

She looked up in time to see Ruby's concerned look. It's crazy how they don't even need words in order to communicate anymore. All Ruby has to do is tilt her head, and Emma knows she’s silently asking if something's wrong. Emma, in return, plasters a smile to show that she’s okay.

  


*******

  


It turns out Ruby can see right through her. That is how she finds herself at Ruby's place, half an hour before her shift is due, looking at tinder profiles.

"No"

Swipe.

"No"

Another swipe. 

"No"

"What?" Ruby exclaims "Are you crazy? Look at how hot he is!" 

Emma takes a second look, just to make Ruby happy. She brightens her face, feigns a smile and then-

"No"

She manages to hold onto the grumpy expression for, maybe, a second. Ruby's face in that moment is priceless and she can’t hold the laugh that soon follows. 

"Fine! I'll take him" 

"Go for it"

"Come on, Emma! There is gotta be one guy in here that you find attractive."

"That's the thing, though, Ruby. I don't want to hook up. If anything, I want a relationship. And call me old-fashioned, I don't think that’s how you meet a partner, I really don't. I'm starting a new job next week, maybe I will find someone there. I need to give it time, those things take time, and you pressuring me to date someone doesn't do anything but make me nervous."

Ruby stares intently at her, and then Emma’s engulfed in a tight hug. The brunette’s face rests in the junction between Emma's shoulder and neck, her hot puffs of breath against her skin sending bursts of tingles down her spine. It has been so long since she had a physical proximity and that hug makes her crave it even more.

"I'm sorry" 

Ruby whispers to her neck.

"That's okay"

Emma rubs soothing circles on her back, her mind wandering off, as she tries to recall when was the last time she even hugged someone.

"Just try to understand my point of view, and if you’re not sure just ask, kay? I'll let you know when you're crossing the line." 

She says, hoping the soft tone she’s using is enough the assure Ruby that they’re fine.

"You got it." 

  


*******

  


The second time Emma arrives at the tall, glassed building she doesn’t have to wait a second. A petite brunette (finally) is standing right next to the reception desk. When she spots Emma, her face lights up and she rushes towards her with a large beam intact.

"Emma?"

She puts her hand forward and Emma takes it.

"Yes"

"I'm Mary Margaret,” she provides with a cheerful voice “I'm Ms. Mills' assistant. Nice to meet you!"

Her company looks so happy, that Emma can’t help but catch some of the excitement rolling off of her in waves.

"Nice to meet you too."

The brunette hands her an orange tag. "Until you get your permanent one"

Emma follows her to the elevator. Standing behind Mary Margaret gives Emma the opportunity to have a quick look-over. The woman is short, 5'2" maybe, with pale skin and dark pixie hair. She sports a pair of flower-printed pants and a red blouse, a combination that certainly stands out in the sea of charcoal and navy blue. No heels, she notes happily, looks like she’s not alone on that one. 

The numbers in the elevator change quickly as they climb their way up.

"I will also be the one teaching you everything you need to know."

"By the way, sorry about that" she grimaces "I don't have a lot of experience with office work."

"Nonsense" the brunette dismisses immediately "I'm just glad to have someone to talk to again. Talking to the birds outside the window just doesn’t cut it anymore." she responds kindly, eliciting a chuckle from the blonde. 

Mary Margaret seems so kind and easy-going that it immediately helps Emma feel more relaxed.

The brunette leads her to their shared space, stopping by Kathryn's office to exchange some pleasantries. Kathryn hands Mary Margaret a piece of paper, pointing out the areas they need to work on. 

”Show her the basics, then throw her in the deep water. We want Emma to integrate as fast as possible.” She smiles and then her focus is back on the computer. Understanding the sign, they leave her office and settle in theirs.

The space isn’t very large, but it’s nicely decorated. It resembles a cube, or more like a square room minus the door and the fourth wall. There are two desks, each attached to an opposite wall, both facing the corridor. Right in front of them, a large, half see through door with a metal sign and the name Regina Mills carved in it.

Her stomach performs a little twist when she spots it. She wants to see what Regina Mills looks like. Not wanting to sound rude or creepy, she opts on a passive course of action, which is waiting until her boss arrives to work. 

She looks around her, once in her chair.

"So much privacy" she jokes and Mary Margaret laughs in response.

"I know… It is just the way it is, you’ll get used to it." she shrugs, rolling her chair over to Emma's desk. 

"Alright, let's start with the basics."

Word is a piece of cake, so is PowerPoint. But Excel is proving to be problematic and Outlook is giving her the shits. Despite having difficulties understanding every single program and its use, she is doing okay, and the fact that her 'tutor' is so nice has a major part in that.

A couple of demo-exercises in, Mary Margaret deems her qualified enough to start working on real things. They hit it off easy, with employees' charts containing numbers, addresses, and emails, as well as a description of the job, current dept. and welfare program. This assignment is bound to take her quite a while to complete, but at least there was almost no room for skill-errors, just plain old info managing. 

Finally looking up from her charts, Emma’s surprised to see how time flew by; it’s almost time for launch. The blonde frowns.

"Isn't Ms. Mills working today?" she tries her best to sound casual. 

It’s just a curiosity thing, she’s sure, one she will get over with as soon as she meets her. Despite knowing that at heart, Emma anticipates a good laugh in the process.

"Well, she is, just not here. She is in London for the entire week." Mary Margaret provides helpfully. 

"She works for both extensions as you probably know."

After an affirmative nod from Emma's side, she continues.

"Usually she manages to do everything from here, but there is a big project that has been going on in Europe. The last few yards, I guess, and she needs to be there to take care of everything in person."

"What is it?" Emma inquires, intrigued.

"Some kind of a real estate deal, a big one. After that she flies to Shanghai for the weekend for a couple of meetings and she’s supposed to be back here on Monday."

Emma lets out an impressed whistle.

"That sounds exhausting, does she ever rest?"

"It is not always that bad,” the brunette chuckles, automatically defending her boss “this month, specifically, is full of big transitions. And no, she does not rest. I don’t think I've ever seen her take a vacation." she adds, her face thoughtful, almost as if that understanding has just occurred to her.

"Wow"

"Yeah, she’s a character."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

  


When Emma comes home after her first day at Mills’ she is a little tired, but it isn’t remotely close to the level of exhaustion that follows a double-shift at the restaurant. 

Thursday and Wednesday are pretty much the same: chart work, small talks with Mary Margaret and surprise visits from Kathryn, who drops by to make sure everything is okay. 

Emma isn't a talker, a force of habit. Luckily for her, Mary Margaret is. It’s so easy to keep quiet and let her do the talking. The brunette blabbers about her personal life, work gossip and random – and she means truly random – topics. It starts with a woman she saw the other day that looked like an old famous lady, then continues with why she prefers a heart shape on her coffee rather than a leaf, and ends with a story on how she accidentally switched the sugar with salt trying to bake a cake for her boyfriend. A boyfriend, whom Emma learned, works in the same building as them. David is in charge of the security of the tech labs located between the 22nd and 31st floors. Who knew they had tech labs?

"So how did you two meet? You’re not even on the same floor."

"Technically, you’re right. Okay, so doing the night patrol is part of their job, and they take turns doing that. Now, I work late all the time." 

Upon Emma’s perplexed face, Mary Margaret elaborates.

"The perks of working for Regina." she shrugs.

"Oh"

"Yes. Where was I? Oh! So, there is a lounge on our floor with a kitchen, a shower, a couch… Everything you need in case you stay in late. All the security guys have a device that allows them to keep track on everything from every spot in this building, so technically, they don’t really need to be on a specific floor, but just to be present in the building.”

“Yeah, that makes sense”

“Exactly” the brunette agrees “He was getting tired of sitting there all by himself, so he decided to move to the lounge. Eventually, we met on one of those nights when I was working late. The rest," she smiles, "is history." 

"You should meet him" she clasps her hands excitedly and her face brightens "Let's do lunch!" she determines, before Emma even has a chance to reply.

  


*******

  


"So, how do like it so far?"

"It's good"

David smiles warmly at her. He’s, just like his girlfriend, a nice and compassionate human being. She could see why they were together. He is tall, blonde, with blue eyes and a charming smile. His big shoulders and charismatic posture make it easy for her to imagine him as a security man. 

They’re sitting in a quiet garden, one that Emma didn't even know existed. Right between Park and Madison on 46th, shielded by three walls, there is this space. Benches, tables, plants scattered all over, and a small fountain, all make it look like a safe haven in the concrete jungles of New York City. 

Emma absorbs the calm atmosphere as she’s eating her meat sandwich from the nearby deli.

"I guess you're not considered a true New Yorker until you actually know all of these hiding places." 

She breaks the silence after minutes of silent eating.

"Don't beat yourself up over it," David says kindly "I know a lot of born and raised New Yorkers who don't have a clue about these little hiding spots."

Emma hums and takes another bite.

"So," he continues "how is it to work with Regina? Did she bite you already?" he jokes.

"Regina isn't here this week," Mary Margaret answers for her "she's in London."

"Lucky you" he chuckles "you’ve had a smooth landing."

"Is she _that_ bad?"

David is not the first one to imply that Regina is difficult to work with. Hell, if the sweet Mary Margaret called her a character it must mean something.

"Let's just say that if Mary Margaret ever quits her job, I can't think of someone who can go through a whole week without getting their ass fired. Or resign themselves."

He retorts cheekily, earning a light slap on his shoulder from his girlfriend. 

"Don't be so mean, David." She chastises, turning to Emma "Regina is a very strong minded woman who knows what she wants and how she wants it, sometimes she goes at it a little too aggressively but I still admire her. I think she is an amazing example for women who think they can't make it in companies filled with powerful men." 

"I don't see anything wrong with going after what you want." the blonde shrugs in response, she’s not one to be intimidated that easily.

"Exactly" the brunette agrees.

"Just be careful not to get on her bad side," David adds "that's all." 

  


*******

  


Emma comes home that day, realizing that the 'in front of the computer' type of work was getting easier by the day. The only shortcoming of the current situation is the inevitable reduction in the number of her shifts. That proves to be a problem on two aspects. The first one is the money. She is going to have to pay attention to her expenses, now that her significant income has been cut. The second one was moving her body. When she worked six days a week, running around the restaurant and lifting trays, she could tell herself that maybe she is not doing a classic type of sports, but at least she was doing something. 

But sitting in front of the computer all day just isn't going to cut it. She needs to find a way to incorporate workouts in her everyday routine. It’s supposed to be significantly easier now rather than after twelve hours on her feet. Getting familiar with the average work hours, Emma is positive that adding a shift or two during the weekdays isn't going to be that hard. If she can squeeze four shifts a week and stay alive, she will be alright. Her savings are running low, especially now, that she can't just eat three meals a day at the restaurant and dress with the same plain t-shirts.

She starts around 8:30, which is, to be honest, earlier than what she is used to, but at the same time not as bad as it could have been, and finishes around 6 pm. 

Night shifts at Antony's are usually covered by two waiters. The one who comes in first is the first one to leave, unless there is a big event. Emma wouldn’t be able to make it by six, despite wanting to. That leaves her with the seven o’clock slot, which is the one who usually ends up closing the restaurant.

She will have to talk to Stephan about that. Being the closing waiter when she has to work the following day is less than ideal, and if she can somehow manage to convince him to keep the other waiter, despite the usual setting, she will be able to pull it off.

  


*******

  


"Oh, come on, Stephan, I'm sure some people would love the extra money."

"Emma, asking for a 6 pm waiter to close the restaurant instead of you is just... I mean I can try, but I can't make them do it if they say no." 

"Just remember this: when you needed me to do double, yes, double shifts," she pauses for the dramatic effect "I still opened and closed everything for you. Just cut me some slack, I'm not asking you to kill a double shifter.” 

“Emma...” he sighs, sounding unconvinced.

“You know what? If I work two days a week and you let me off the hook in one, I'll do the other."

She can make it as long as it’s only one night, it will not be easy but it’s doable. She has to remember that all of it is just temporary, just until she will start getting paid.

"Emma, you know I want to help you but how can I commit to it when the shifts are constantly changing?”

Deeming the money important enough, Emma decides to sweeten the deal.

"Okay, how about this: I give you two permanent days a week, in both of them I start at seven, and in one you let me off the hook with the whole closing thing. I give you two shifts each weekend…”

"But like I said, Em-"

"And if you need a backup for an event during the week and can't find someone, I'll do my best to help you out. How about that?"

This is her wild card. Two waiters in a full restaurant are just not enough. Those events are usually last minute, and the owners always have problems finding waiters who agree to get their ass off the couch for a couple of hours, even if the money is good. Emma always hated those things. But now, it's actually the best solution for her, a significant amount of money for a short period of work-time.

His sigh fills the, otherwise, quiet line. He won’t give up on that offer, it’s too good to pass on.

"Let me think about it, kay, Emma?"

"Sure thing. Thanks again."

"I haven't agreed to anything."

"Yet," she retorts "I know you will."

"I'll let you know."

"Cool, bye"

"Later"

She rests her head on the couch and closes her eyes. This was exhausting. Looks like she’s going to have to wait with the whole working out thing until she gets her shit together. With a hand draped over her eyes, she groans, reaching for her ringing phone. 

"Hello"

"Hey, Em. Tired?"

"You have no idea."

A couple of moments pass in silence.

"Rubs?"

"Mm?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Kinda"

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Not really"

"Okay..." she frowns, waiting for Ruby to continue.

"Can I crash at your place tonight, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Of course you can and don't be silly, we will just have snuggle a little, that's all."

"Okay," Ruby sounds relieved "Thanks"

"Sure"

"When can I come?"

"Whenever you want"

"Cool"

"See ya"

  


*******

  


That night, even with exhaustion overflowing her system, Emma can’t sleep. 

Well, she could, at first. When they entered her single bed together Emma was out before Ruby even had a chance to say goodnight. Few hours later Emma wakes up, sleepily noticing Ruby all over her. Her leg draped over the blonde’s thighs, her hand laying flatly on Emma’s half-bared stomach, sending tingles all the way to Emma's toes upon the slightest movement. 

_Just go to sleep_

She tries but soon finds that she can’t. This proximity is so foreign, and yet so comforting at the same time. The smoothness of Ruby's skin and the softness of her curves against Emma’s, it feels nothing like Neal's bony embrace used to feel. Ruby is a pillow and a blanket, and Emma doesn’t want this feeling to end. She keeps up as long as she can manage, the skies much lighter when exhaustion finally takes over.

  


*******

  


The sound of her alarm invades her sleep, despite her best attempts to ignore it.

"Emma" Ruby mumbles groggily "Turn this fucking thing off."

"Mhm" Emma groans into her pillow, sleep regaining its hold on her.

"Emma!"

Ruby is much louder this time, making her jump.

"I'm up," she sits up, pressing the silence button "I'm up."

When she’s ready to leave, Ruby is still deep in sleep world.

"Ruby" she nudges her to no avail, the brunette’s wiped out.

"Ruby!" she calls, louder, as she nudges her best friend.

"Mm?"

"Please lock after you, keys are in the drawer"

"Mm"

"Ruby!"

"Fine!” she grumbles, voice muffled by the pillow “I heard, keys, door. Now fuck off"

"This is my house" she rolls her eyes. Ruby gives her the finger and turns on her side, back facing Emma. Shaking her head in disbelief, she leaves the apartment. On the subway, on her way to work, she texts Ruby again about the keys. Can't be too safe right?

Hours later comes a reply.

  


_**Ruby** \- Do you think I'm dumb? I said I heard you the first time._

_**Emma** \- Had to make sure… Oh, and still not sure about the whole dumb thing._

_**Ruby** \- Fuck off_

  


*******

  


The weekend arrives, proving to be just as bad when Emma has to spend both Saturday and Sunday at the restaurant. She’s reached the point where she’s no longer sure which one she hates more, the weekdays or the weekends; and that alone is enough to make her feel miserable and unbelievably tired.

In a blink of an eye, it’s Monday and she can barely drag herself out of bed. She’s sitting near her desk, lists upon lists of workers piled on her desk and she slowly types them in.

"You look so tired"

Mary Margaret points out, voice cheerful and so awake-sounding. No one should be this happy on Monday morning, she thinks bitterly.

"That’s because I am tired" the edge noticeable in her tone.

"What did you do this weekend?" the brunette inquires, unfazed by Emma’s grumpiness.

"Work"

"The waitressing thing?"

"Mm"

"Wow, that must be exhausting"

"It is." she sighs, eyes refocusing on the screen.

The following minutes pass in silence as each concentrates on their work. 

"Did you do something interesting this weekend?" Emma pipes up, the boredom proving to be too much.

"Not really.” her companion shrugs “Though the funniest thing happened."

Emma turns to look her "Well?"

"But you can't tell David I told you this" Mary Margaret whispers, an aura of confidentiality oozing from her, effectively earning Emma’s attention.

The blonde lifts her hand in a 'swear’ motion. 

"Promise"

Deeming it sufficient she continues.

"David keeps leaving food on the counter as if he hasn't grown up here and doesn’t know that it attracts cockroaches."

"It does?" Emma’s eyes widen and she swallows thickly. She needs to make sure everything is tucked in when she gets back to her apartment.

The brunette responds with a _duh_ look.

"Anyway, yesterday he was up first. He was mumbling something about breakfast but I felt like staying in bed so I told him to go and make one himself. All of a sudden I hear a scream, and I mean a high-pitched girly scream. I run to the kitchen and I find David standing on the couch pointing at this cockroach and yells like a little girl 'Oh my god, oh my god, kill it'"

Picturing the big masculine man in that ridiculous situation makes Emma topple over in laughter. Mary Margaret joins her and they both sit there, feeding off each other’s laughter.

Eventually, they calm down, and get back to work with broad smiles on their faces.

The sound of her typing is muffled by a clicking sound produced by heels on the marble floor. She’s interrupted by a low, velvety voice, so unique she would’ve remembered hearing before, asking

"And you are?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

  


Emma doesn't look people in the eye. 

It's extremely intimate, and as agreed beforehand, Emma doesn't do intimate. It also gets in her way of scanning the person in front of her, assessing whether or not they are a threat. 

But she’s caught off guard and ends up locking gaze with chocolate orbs. This was mistake number one. Mistake number two was staying there for too long, resulting in Emma getting stuck staring during their entire exchange. And so, all she manages to extract from their brief conversation was this woman’s eye color and low voice. 

"Emma"

She answers, her voice less sturdy than she would have liked it to be.

"Why are you here, Emma?" The emphasize on her name makes her stomach swirl.

"I," she swallows "I work here"

"Oh, you do?" A sculptured eyebrow rises in response, making Emma fidget.

She nods. _W_ _hy_ _am I_ _so nervous?_

"Well, I don't remember hiring you, so why don't pack your things and g…"

"Regina," Kathryn storms into the room, grabbing the woman by the hand "a moment of your time please"

The woman doesn’t get to respond, practically dragged towards her office. Reluctantly, she turns to follow Kathryn, efficiently cutting their eye connection. Emma blinks, shocked, and turns towards a wide-eyed Mary Margaret.

"Is this-?"

"Yes"

Instead of replying, Emma looks forward, eyes zeroing on the women. Thanks to the transparent walls Emma can watch Kathryn and Regina talk, hands moving animatedly as each tries to make their point. 

Regina Mills isn’t anything like Emma had imagined her; not awkward nor fat, no glasses, no pimples, no terrible hair. She is, in fact, the opposite of every image Emma had conjured. She is beautiful. Emma takes a moment to soak it all in; The short dark hair, shiny ends turning away from her face and brushing her shoulders. Her tan olive skin, smooth and radiant, clad in a tight, knee-high, navy-blue dress, and black stiletto heels. Her posture straight as a stick; confident, strong, yet graceful at the same time. You could see this lady grew up with access to higher societies.

If someone from 'Southie' was walking around looking like that they would get their ass handed to them. 

She can’t see her face clearly from that distance, but there’s no way of missing the red plump lips and the straight line of white, pearly teeth hidden underneath. 

_Damn_ , this is an attractive woman. She probably has to push men away with a stick.

In that moment, Regina glances her way. Their eyes lock one more time, forcing Emma to avert her gaze and focus on her screen instead. She tries to keep working, despite the feeling of her heart hammering in the base of her throat. In the end, it’s her dry mouth that proves to be too much of a distraction.

She needs water. 

Making her way to the kitchen, Emma can feel Regina’s eyes on her back, following her like a hawk, until she makes a right turn and the office disappears from sight.

She grabs a random glass, hand still slightly shaking, and takes a big gulp of water. 

She needs to calm down. Yes, Regina isn’t ugly but it’s not a reason for her to freak out like she just did. She has met many intimidating figures in her life and faced them all fearlessly, and this one just happens to dress impeccably and look like a movie star, with these plump lips and hourglass shape and…

_Stop it!_

She shakes her head as if it will help getting the pictures out of her head. She places the empty glass in the sink and rolls her shoulders, releasing cumulative tension.

There are three reasons why she needs to stop having those kind of thoughts. The first one is that Regina is her boss. Hell, she is her boss's boss, and one of the most successful people in America. She can’t afford making a mockery out of herself, not being able to handle herself next to a beautiful, successful woman. She will lose her job in a matter of days if she keeps that stammering-mess parade up. The second one is that there is no way in hell this feminine lady is anywhere near the gay spectrum. Everything about her screams straight, so Emma shouldn’t even begin to entertain the thought of Regina as a… Well, yeah. And the third one is that none of the above reasons should even matter to Emma, since she is straight, obviously. 

Deeming that pathetic inner debate successful, Emma heads back to her desk before Regina has a valid reason to fire her. 

_Act cool._

It takes everything she has not to look up, but she doesn’t. She works in the earnest, typing one name after the other, saving her work and going over it to make sure all is correct.

When she makes it undisturbed all until lunchtime, she assumes she’s off the hook. Well, that until

"Miss Swan"

Regina opens the door to her office, eyes set on Emma.

"A moment, please"

She gestures with her head for Emma to follow. And she does, trying and failing to tear her stare away from the woman’s behind. You could definitely see the Hispanic heritage of her father in that behind...

"Please, have a sit"

_Shit,_ _d_ _id she catch that?_ _Get your act together, she’s your boss!_

Regina retrieves a folder from one of the drawers and places a black pair of reading glasses on. Emma has no idea how she manages to stop herself from physically reacting to the sight. 

_So she has glasses and very hot ones, very well._

"Well, first, I would like to apologize for this morning"

Regina is nothing short of polite, but that’s about it. Emma can tell Regina is doing this out of courtesy, and social protocols perhaps, but not genuine care.

"It's alright" she dismisses.

Regina purses her lips as if contemplating on what to say next.

"Very well," she concludes after a short pause "I would like to welcome you to our company and wish you good luck" 

She extends her hand and Emma takes it. 

"Thank you"

She’s almost out the door when Regina adds

"I hope you understand that our expectations from you are identical to those from any other employee in this company, if not higher. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal"

  


*******

  


"Tell me everything!"

Ruby demands eagerly; you just give this girl gossip and she is good to go for days.

"Rubs, you're yelling" she chastises and the brunette immediately tones herself down.

"Sorry"

Emma looks at the coffee shop they are currently in, everyone seems oblivious to their exchange of words.

"She is intense."

"What do you mean by intense?"

"I dunno, she is driven and very authoritative, she looks like she runs the place. I'm telling you, I met her once on Monday and she was swamped with work for the rest of the week, not a single moment alone: a conference call, then a meeting, a presentation and then another meeting. I feel sorry for Mary Margaret, it's probably a nightmare to organize her schedule."

"You should introduce us, this Mary Margaret sounds nice."

Emma snorts at the prospect of introducing the two.

"What?" Ruby asks, seemingly offended.

"I don't think she can handle you”

“Why?”

“She is like a PG-rated version of humans."

"Oh, really?'

"Totally, try and talk to her about your quarters system and watch her faint."

They share a good laugh.

"Is she attractive?"

"Mary Margaret?"

Ruby shakes her head, chuckling "Your boss, you idiot"

"Err I dunno," _why d_ _oes_ _Ruby ha_ _ve_ _the tendency to get stuck on the most uncomfortable subjects?_ "I guess"

She shrugs in response, suddenly deeming her cup of coffee extremely interesting.

"So, do you want to do her?" 

Her head shoots up so fast, she is millimeters away from causing herself a whiplash.

"Why would you say that? I thought we’ve talked about it, I'm not into-"

“-girls, I know. But you can't avoid the Boss Syndrome, especially when they're hot. It's like the forbidden fruit, you have to take a bite." Ruby winks seductively, and Emma feels the tips of her ears heat up.

"Well, maybe that's how it is for you,” she clears her throat, effectively avoiding eye-connection “for me she is just my bitchy boss."

Emma has been in denial of a lot of things lately, things she isn't ready to face. But even she would admit that one was a lie. Yes, Regina could be a bitch sometimes, though it did nothing but add to her appeal. 

What Emma initially thought was a mere observation and appreciation of beauty, like she does all the time lately when it comes to pretty girls, might be more than that. What is more? Emma has no idea. But what she does know, is that she can't help but constantly search for her, be around her. 

Maybe it’s the whole boss thing, like Ruby says. Maybe it will go away. God knows there could be no other outcome to this situation.

"If you say so…"

"I do"

"So, can I fuck her?" Ruby can’t stop the giggle that escapes upon Emma's horrified expressions.

"Ruby!" she whispers angrily.

"I'm kidding, chill."

New friends. She needs new friends.

  


*******

  


  


Emma starts working at Antony’s again the following week. After some consideration, Stephan ended up agreeing with her deal and so she would work Mondays and Wednesdays, but close the restaurant only once a week.

Finally finished with the chart, Emma is assigned to a different task. 

Apparently, Mills' corporation conducts a huge annual dinner party for all of its employees. That, in order to establish and strengthen bonds between the workers, their superiors and, peers from different departments. As expected, the event requires multiple hands in financial as well as in HR department. Emma, a sort of in-between dept. employee, answers that description perfectly. 

Kathryn kind of implies that if Emma's work is adequate to both her and Regina's standards, she will be granted an employee status. Which means money. Money she desperately needs. 

Mary Margaret promises to assist, sending a sympathetic look her way. But Emma doesn’t mind the work at all, she’s just happy at the prospect of earning money again. Well, that and the fact that she gets to work directly with Regina. A great opportunity for her to impress the right people and figure out what's with the whole Mills fascination thing. 

As the event is due in May, it means she has to live off of four waitressing shifts a week for two months. And in order to make that work, she needs to cut her expenses: homemade sandwiches for lunch, walking whenever possible and no spending money on unnecessary things. Starbucks, for example, may be desired but not required. Depressing, absolutely, but a necessary evil.

  


*******

  


It has been a couple of weeks since Emma started working, and during that time Kathryn added a few more tasks for her to integrate into her working schedule. Now she was asking her to finish all of those as soon as possible and dedicate all of her time to this new project.

Emma figures that with her mind set to do it, she can finish everything in two days or so. 

When she looks up at the clock and sees the time, she realizes that trying to get home just to come back down to Antony's again an hour later is futile. She would just stay here until her shift starts, getting some more work done.

When the clock shows 18:00 Mary Margaret starts packing her things.

"Aren't you going home?"

"Nah, my work is a few blocks from here and starts in an hour, I think I'll stay here and work a little"

"Alright then, have a good evening" 

"You too."

It’s six thirty when Emma decides to call it a day. She changes into to her work attire, deciding on a coffee to-go from the lounge. She’s in the midst of retrieving a plastic cup when her phone starts ringing. She pulls it out of her pocket and smiles at the screen.

"Hey, Rubs"

Emma places the phone between her ear and shoulder and then resumes her previous action.

"Nah, I stayed here, finished some work."

She puts instant coffee in the cup and adds two spoons of sugar.

"I know I missed our coffee date, I'm having it here."

She fills it with hot water and searches for a lid.

"Yeah, I brought a change of clothes with me in case I got held. Which I did"

_Where are the fucking lids?_

"Well, Antony's is really close so…"

_Oh, there they are._

"Yeah"

_Cup holder?_

"I'll talk to you later, kay?"

_Found it!_

"You too, bye."

She turns around and almost drops her cup.

"Jesus," she places her free hand on her chest "You scared me"

"Apologies" 

Regina responds with her stupidly sexy voice. No one’s voice should be that sexy. They stand in silence for a moment, until Regina gestures toward the coffee machine. 

"May I…?"

"Oh, yes, of course" she steps aside, embarrassed "Sorry."

She takes a look around. The office is completely deserted and it’s not even that late. All those rich people probably have never even heard of the concept of working overtime.

"You changed"

Shaken out her world she refocuses on Regina. "Excuse me?"

The brunette’s gaze ghosts over her form, and an eyebrow arches in question. Emma can feel her heart beating furiously in her chest. She scratches the back of her neck, her go-to move when stressed, mumbling a "Yeah…"

Emma can practically point the curiosity in her eyes, but being the polite woman that she is, Regina keeps her mouth shut and simply nods.

"Heading somewhere?" she asks instead, and Emma steals a glance at the clock. She needs to head out, or else she will be late.

"I am, actually" she grabs her coat and makes her way towards the elevator, the sound of heels clicking following her all the way there.

"Are you late for something?" the brunette inquires once they’re inside the elevator. Emma isn’t sure why Regina is being friendly towards her, especially after having ignored her for the past few weeks. Regardless, she answers kindly.

"Not yet" she shrugs with a smile. It takes a second but then the corners of Regina's lips quirk up.

Emma has no idea what to say next, and it looks like neither does Regina, so they end up in silence for the rest of their way down.

Once in the lobby, the blonde places the coffee and the bag on one of the tables, in order put her brown leather jacket on. She gathers her hair in a messy bun, it’s windy outside, feeling Regina's eyes on her all along.

"Do you need a ride?" 

Regina asks, just being polite, obviously.

"No, thank you, I'm good."

Emma turns down the offer, advancing towards the door. She feels the chill the minute she steps out. Pulling the thin jackets tighter against her form, she starts walking with her head bowed down as the wind blows, shooting cold needles onto her face. Shouldn't March be warmer? 

For some inexplicable reason, moments later, she turns around, spotting Regina standing right where she left her, eyes glued to her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

  


"Sorry, I'm late"

Regina storms into her own office with a coat and purse in hand. She drops them on her desk and approaches the conference table where the three of them are sitting. The meeting includes Kathryn, Regina, Mary Margret and Emma and its purpose is defining and setting goals for the upcoming event. Since Regina's schedule is crazy busy, the meeting was set to 8:00 am. Emma almost gave up living trying to drag herself out of bed in order to make it on time.

It’s Thursday and last night was Emma’s turn to close the restaurant, which was, if she may, at an ungodly hour. She was so tired, she broke her no spending money rule and bought a Starbucks on her way to the office. Later, she drank another cup of coffee upon arriving at the building. In this one, she forwent milk and sugar, practically going for a caffeine shot. 

She’s trying her best to look alert, commending her brain to function properly while she waits for the meeting to start.

Despite her plans to go home before her shift, she, yet again, found herself heading to Antony’s straight after work. Luckily, she had brought her outfit that day too, just to be on the safe side. When she left the building that evening, Regina was still in her office, on some international conference call. Emma was pretty sure she had figured out the second job thing by now, despite not saying anything.

Emma has no idea of when Regina left the building, but no one could tell she had worked late. Regina looks flawless with a gray power-suit on, hair and make up done perfectly, and most importantly, no bags under her eyes. The blonde has no doubt she looks like a raccoon, which was already proven by numerous sympathetic looks co-workers kept sending her way that morning. 

Mary Margaret sits right next to her, while Kathryn sits at the opposite side of the table. When Regina makes her way to seat next to Kathryn, her hand brushes against her partner’s shoulders in an intimate gesture. Emma watches the scene closely, it looks like Regina and Kathryn are close. 

This is the first personal fact Emma has learned about Regina. Office gossip has its nose in every worker’s life but Regina's. No one knows whether or not she’s taken, where she lives, or what she likes to do in her free time, for that matter. Weirdly and frustratingly so, Regina Mills is a mystery.

Regina leads the meeting: she sets the goals, the assignments and the deadlines. She’s also the one talking most of the time, which gives Emma the excuse to stare at her the entire time. Her eyes jump all over her features, taking in every single detail. The small scar on her upper lip, for example, is something Emma had never noticed until now. 

If Regina has any idea that she is being being watched that closely, well, she doesn’t let it show; she speaks fluently, with confidence, and navigates the meeting like a true professional. 

Emma loses track a couple of times. Not because she isn’t paying attention, since she obviously pays a lot of attention to Regina, just not to what she’s saying. 

"You were so off"

Mary Margaret tells her once the meeting is over and Emma asks for her notes. 

"I know, I am so tired. I ended up working from eight in the morning until twelve thirty at night yesterday."

"So, how do you get home when you’re done?"

"Subway, bus, on foot, it depends on the day and the time I get off."

Her friend looks genuinely bothered by that answer.

"Aren't you afraid? It is dangerous for a woman to walk by herself that late at night."

Emma shrugs in response "It’s not the worst I’ve had. New York is a much safer place for a twenty-year-old than Boston for a fifteen-year-old."

She glances over towards Regina’s office, a habit she has recently acquired. Emma can spot the brunette looking in their direction, but is unable to read her facial expression. She wonders if the open door allows the woman to hear their conversation at that distance.

Mary Margret continues, seemingly oblivious to their spectator.

"Do you want to grab lunch together?"

_Oh no._

"I can't,” she says and wrecks her brain for a reasonable excuse “I'm starting this new diet plan, where you’re supposed to eat large breakfasts and smaller lunches, like sandwiches"

"Oh, really? Why is that?"

"They say it’s healthier, so I’m giving it a try."

In all honesty, she _hate_ _s_ lying to Mary Margret like that, but she has no choice, she simply can’t afford eating outside.

Her friend, in turn, accepts that as the truth and for that Emma is grateful. But Regina, though, is a whole other story; considering the skeptical look, raised eyebrows and barely maintained smile. It looks like the brunette can definitely hear them, and she isn’t buying it.

"How many shifts do you work a week?"

"I do Mondays and Wednesdays, and twice on weekends."

"Wow, you don't rest."

"Yeah, well, there is rent to pay, food to buy, this shit is expensive."

"I bet."

  


*******

  


It’s lunchtime and Emma has no idea what to do with herself. 

She couldn’t really sit near her desk and eat, it would look pathetic. Never mind the fact that she’s pathetic, but she can’t have it showing. 

Weighing her options, she decides to go with Mary Margaret’s suggestion, the stairwell. The view is supposedly amazing, according to her friend. And it is. Emma’s in awe with the breathtaking view set before her when she steps in. Just like most of the building, the entire wall is made of glass, providing a glorious landscape of the city. 

"Beautiful, right?" 

Emma jumps, turning to see Regina sitting, as primly as one physically can, on one of the lower steps. The brunette’s rich, low chuckle makes the hair on her hands stand. 

"I'm glad giving me continuous heart attacks amuses you." she shoots in response to Regina’s ill-hidden smirk

"I suppose now my secret is out." Regina adds after a short pause.

"What secret?"

"Mary Margaret knows to come look for me here when I need a moment for myself."

"So, what you’re saying is that I basically crashed your secret fort"

She chuckles again. Knowing she was the one causing that made Emma’s heart swell. 

"I guess you could call it that. But it's okay, it’s not like I own the place…" she pauses "Oh, wait a minute, I do"

Emma lets out a snort and Regina’s lips quirk up in a closed lipped smile.

"Then I guess I'll be out of your hair now…" 

"Oh no, please stay.” she says, standing up “I was about to leave anyway."

Regina is almost out the door when she adds:

"Enjoy the view"

And boy, does Emma enjoy it. 

She sits down and dives into her sandwich. Not her dream meal but it will do.

  


*******

  


In a blink of an eye, it’s weekend again.

Emma goes wild and cancels the alarm for Saturday morning. Her shift starts at six in the afternoon, leaving her morning and lunch completely free. The same couldn’t be said about tomorrow, though; She has Ashley’s kid’s birthday party to attend, followed by a shift at Antony’s. 

She is still in bed when her phone vibrates once, announcing an incoming message. She ignores it, choosing sleep over socializing. When she finally gets up, she reaches for her phone.

  


_**Josh-** So, now that you are a big-shot you forget about us, small people?_

  


He has a point; Ever since she got back to waitressing she has fully disappeared. She barely manages to maintain a texting relationship with Ruby, let alone seeing her. And Josh? She hasn't talked to him in almost two weeks.

  


_**Swan** \- Sorry :( swamped with work..._

_**Josh** \- I get it, same here… Are you coming to Ashley's tomorrow?_

_**Swan** \- Wait, you know Ashley? How?_

_**Josh** \- Used to work at Antony's when I was in school. How do you think I know Ruby and Peter?_

_**Swan** \- Whoa! How did I not know that??_

_**Josh** \- You never asked._

_**Swan** \- Fair enough. And yeah, I'm coming. You?_

_**Josh** \- Yep, see you there._

_**Swan** \- See ya._

  


She places the phone back in her bag and stares ahead. It’s a nice day, still chilly, but rather sunny, so she decides to walk down to Central Park and have some time alone to think. 

Sitting on a bench in front of the big lawn, she looks at the people who had decided to come out here despite the low temperatures and slight breeze. 

What is she doing? Josh is a good guy, decent looking, and into her. She may have been dense at times, but even she knows he wants something with her. He has never pushed, which makes it harder for Emma. If he had been straight forward asking her out, she might have been uncomfortable, but at least she would’ve been forced to make up her mind. He, giving her space, makes it so much easier for her to stay in her indecisive spot. 

Does she want to go out with him? The simple answer to that is no. Does she want to face the changes that were happening to her? This answer is also a no. But she can’t stay where she is, she has to make a decision.

The way she’s looking at it, she has two options: she could either start dating men and wait for her confusion to disappear, or she could gather up some courage and open the can of worms with the label 'girls' on it. For all she knows, it might be a phase, a fascination thing that will go away as soon as she checks it off her list. Emma doesn’t want to consider the other option. 

Still confused about Regina and where she fits in all of this, Emma tries to figure out what the brunette means to her. Is she a crush? A challenge? 

Though it doesn’t even matter how she feels about her, it’s never going to happen. She can’t jeopardize her only chance of a career for the sake of hitting on her female and probably straight boss.

Everything is so confusing, she thinks to herself, running a hand through her hair as she tries to sort it all out.

How does one go at it? How do lesbians have sex? Can she be a lesbian if the girl she likes is straight? Emma doesn’t like the masculine girls, she likes the feminine ones. Are there feminine lesbians? Can she like the feminine ones if she’s feminine as well?

There are too many questions left unanswered, and so, on her way home, Emma decides it’s time to fill in the blanks.

  


*******

  


Thank god for Google, and fuck Google at the same time. 

The more Emma reads, the more confused she gets. She reads about the types of lesbians (there are so many!) attempting to categorize herself to no avail. 

Since searching _beautiful femme lesbians_ gives her nothing but links to porn sites, she downloads a Lesbian dating app in an attempt to get a more realistic source. The minute she sees questions like Name, age and location she freaks out, deleting it immediately. What if someone she knows finds out?

Hours later she tries again with a different app. 

Deciding to use a fake name and age but a real photo, Emma opens a user. In the midst of looking at women's profiles her notifications start piling up with friends' requests, likes and messages. It takes exactly a minute for Emma to feel panic building up from the bottom of her stomach.

_She_ _can't do this. O_ _h_ _m_ _y_ _g_ _od_ _, what was_ _she_ _thinking? Where is the delete profile option?_

With shaking hands she deletes this app as well. 

She places a hand over her eyes and tries to breathe normally again. This experience is more terrifying than anything that has ever happened to her in quite a while. Feeling out of her depth and overwhelmed, she decides to put this whole thing on hold. 

While on work that day, Emma feels distracted and disoriented. She can’t shake the feeling that someone knows what she did, what she thinks. Of course, logically, she knows she’s being ridiculously paranoid, but each interaction with a human makes her stomach turn.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

  


"Emma!" 

Ashley calls happily and pulls Emma into a hug before the latter has a chance to respond.

"It is so good to see you!"

Emma pats her back reassuringly "You too."

"We never get to see you anymore" Her friend pouts once they part.

"I know, work has been crazy"

"But you’re doing okay?” Ashley asks, face hopeful.

"I’m doing okay” Emma confirms with a nod, scanning the room "So… where is the birthday girl?"

"I’ll go get her, wait here” she instructs, disappearing from sight. 

She returns a moment later, with an adorable blonde baby placed firmly on her hip. Emma can’t help the happiness that spreads over her just by looking at this little of bundle of cuteness. 

“Hey, Lin. I’m Emma” she says softly, immediately adopting a baby voice. Lin examines her thoughtfully, a little frown etched her face, and then, out of the blue, pushes her body towards Emma, effectively throwing herself off her mother's arms. Ashley, used to it by now, steadies the toddler with her free arm.

"Now wait a minute, baby" she nuzzles her nose against the baby's chubby cheek, making her squirm and giggle "Let's ask Emma if she wants to pick you up." She looks at her, eyes questioning. Emma, in turn, opens her arms in an invitation.

With Lin positioned comfortably on her hip, Emma turns to look at the baby. 

"Hello" she greets Lin, who in return blows raspberries at her, making her chuckle.

"Nice to meet you too" she jokes and the toddler gurgles and starts playing with her necklace.

"Isn't she a natural?"

She turns to look at Josh, watching him smile at the two of them.

"Absolutely" Ashley agrees "Do you mind if I leave her with you for a while? I've got some mingling to do."

"Sure, go ahead" and with that Ashley is gone.

"Hello to you too" she says after a bit, earning a head tilt from Josh.

"So, how are things at Mills'?"

"Good, good."

"Having fun?"

"Define fun"

She retorts and they share a laugh. 

They hang together, both not really familiar with the people at the apartment. At some point Josh grabs her phone, insisting on taking a picture of her with Lin.

_You have to, as the most beautiful girls_ _here_ _._ He claims, his attention on Lin but the intention is clear nonetheless. 

He offers to walk her home with that easy smile of his, and Emma finds herself agreeing before she can help it. 

Emma thanks her lucky stars for scheduling a shift right after the party, knowing he would’ve asked to come in if not for her plans. Leaning against the closed door, Emma lets out a relieved breath. This whole Josh thing needs to be sorted out, she’s well aware, but today proved how important it was, and not just for her sake, but for his as well. She’s leading him on and he doesn’t deserve that. _Next week_ , she determines, and the cowardliness of that act isn’t lost on her. 

  


*******

  


Monday came and left and so did Tuesday, and there hasn’t been any sign of Regina. 

Saying that Emma wasn't disappointed would be a lie. Right, it's not like they talk to each other all the time, but even knowing that she's there makes a difference. 

She misses her. It’s absolutely crazy to miss her, but she does.

"Do you have plans for lunch today?" 

It’s an unnecessary question, Mary Margaret’s well aware of Emma’s sandwiches-eating plan. Still, for a reason unknown to Emma, she asks.

"The usual, why?"

"Regina is back" The brunette states as a matter of fact, earning Emma's attention. "She wants us to meet and review our progress so far and by us I mean you, me, Kathryn and her."

"Okay"

"The thing is, her schedule is packed and her only free slot is lunch break so we're all going to lunch. Courtesy of the company, of course."

"Where are we going?"

"Err” Mary Margaret looks at her, guilt visible on her pale face, and Emma immediately knows something is up.

"Well?”

"Don’t get angry okay?” she begs and Emma folds her hands defiantly.

"Spill it"

"She just tackled me and asked about a good restaurant, of course I don't know any good restaurants, I'm just a secretary!" she rants, barely stopping to breathe "the only name that came to mind was Antony's"

Emma’s calm and disinterested demeanor quickly makes room to panic.

"What?" she asks incredulously, feeling her heart jumping to her throat.

"I'm so sorry, Emma, you said it was a good-”

"It _is_ a good restaurant” she cuts the brunette’s apology, frustration lacing her voice “but I _work_ there."

"I know, I’m sorry" she looks at her with her big, brown, puppy eyes.

_Calm down, breathe._

"Did you tell her I work there?"

Mary Margaret looks offended "Of course not!"

"Well, she is going to find out anyway." she mumbles to herself.

She needs space, now.

"I'm sorry, Emma" Mary Margaret repeats as the blonde heads out of the room "I truly am"

"Just-" she halts, swallowing thickly “drop it.” 

She rushes towards the stairwell, changing her course mid-way. It’s Regina’s spot, she could be there and that will definitely make things worse. The bathroom it is.

Once alone in the stall, she grabs her head in both hands, letting the panic wash her system.

Why does everything has to be _so_ damn complicated? She’s not even sure it’s legal having two jobs without notifying her employers. And even if it _is_ legal, corporations and large companies such as Mills’, have their protocols. What if it is against the protocols? she can lose her job there. 

She gives herself five minutes, and when those five minutes end she washes her face, regains her composure and leaves the bathroom. 

Upon Mary Margaret’s broken expression, Emma tries her best to smile, but it turns out as a grimace.

Of course, this would be the moment Regina decides to appear. She halts, eyes jumping back and forth between the two of them, sensing the tension. 

"Emma?”

She asks, using her first name for the first time. Emma, still shaken by the effect the woman has on her, looks up to meet an inquisitive gaze.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes" she responds shortly, her tone dry.

The brunette’s eyebrow shot up, daring Emma to keep this charade. 

"Are you sure?"

"Positive" 

Regina shifts her gaze to Mary Margaret, the latter nodding enthusiastically, and very fakely confirms "Never better"

She’s not buying that, that much is obvious. Nonetheless, she sighs and heads to her office. 

"Alright then, please be ready at 13:30"

  


*******

  


The closer they get to Antony's, the faster her heart beats, making her feel like she’s about to faint. Mary Margaret seems to sense her distress and rubs soothing circles on her back in an attempt to comfort. Emma, who’s past her anger phase, mouths a _thank you_.

Stephan spots her the minute they walk in.

"Emma"

He calls, the surprise evident in his voice, but then he smiles broadly, approaching her. She leans in for a tight hug, and all Emma is able to think about at that moment is the three sets of eyes currently drilling holes in her back.

"What are you doing here?"

She gestures towards her companions "We're here to eat"

"Wonderful" he clasps his hands excitedly, motioning Ashley to follow. When her gaze lands on Emma, she rushes towards her, plastering a kiss on her cheek. 

She doesn’t dawdle, much to Emma’s satisfaction, and leads the group to their assigned table. 

"There you go"

She gestures towards the table, her hand on Emma's lower back, pushing her towards the chair. They sit exactly as they did in their meeting the previous week, only now Emma finds herself seated in front of Regina. 

She dares a look, watching as the brunette’s eyes scan the place, her focus altering from the space to Stephan, then Ashley, and eventually on her. Emma swallows thickly, surprised and uncomfortable by the direct gaze, she buries herself in the long memorized menu.

The silence surrounds them as each looks at her menu, that until Ashley comes back with a notepad in hand. 

"I heard you took a gorgeous picture with my baby on Sunday."

Ashley points out, a smile blooming on her face.

"I did"

"Well let's see it, then" She promotes and Emma chuckles in response, digging in her bag for her cell. 

She finds it and hands it over to Ashley, eyes returning to the table as her friend frets over the picture. They are all looking at Ashley’s reaction, all except Regina. Regina is looking at her, and when they lock eyes, Emma’s heart starts racing again at the brunette’s intense stare. It almost seems like she is searching for answers in her facial features and the attention is making Emma squirm.

"Wow, you look alike!" Ashley hands the phone back to her "One would think you're her real mother" 

Emma laughs uncomfortably while placing her phone back in the bag. Stealing a quick look at Regina, she watches as her eyes light up, and curiosity washes over her facial features as her gaze alternates between Ashley and her. It’s a matter of seconds before Ashley takes charge and brings them back to what they came here for, food. Well, not really, but still.

"Alright ladies, what can I get you?"

They order and in a blink, Ashley is gone. 

They sit quietly, a cloud of unasked questions floating around them. Mary Margaret keeps her mouth shut for obvious reasons and Regina is probably just too socially aware to pry, if you ask Emma. Eventually, it’s Kathryn who speaks up.

"So, how do you know her and the other guy?" she inquires, and the table’s attention is on her.

"I used to work here full-time before I came to Mills'" 

_No need to reveal everything, half-truths are just fine._

Regina looks intrigued, but it’s Kathryn who asks "Oh really?"

It amuses Emma to no end that Kathryn seems to be asking all the questions Regina wants to ask but won't.

"Yes"

"And the waitress, is she your partner?" 

Luckily, Emma doesn’t have anything in her mouth that moment, or else she would have choked on something more substantial than her saliva. Regardless, she makes an embarrassing choking sound as breath mixed with fluids burns its way down her throat. She clears it a couple of times, trying to fight the moister in her eyes from leaking and her cheeks from heating up.

"My partner? No,” she dismisses, her tone higher than usual “what do you mean?"

Kathryn has the dignity to look slightly ashamed. 

"Well I apologize, I just assumed…"

Emma rewinds the conversation in her head and then it all clicks: Ashley's affectionate ways, the way she talked about Emma and her baby girl, Lin; To a stranger's eye it might sound… Her eyes go comically round when she realizes what was just implied.

"Oh no no no" she laughs uncomfortably and her hand shoots to the back of her neck "She is not my, well I don't have a," she’s stumbling over her words "I'm not err," Regina’s eyebrows are so high at this point, they almost reach her hairline, making Emma even more (if possible) flustered. Emma clears her throat and tries to get her babble under control with a shake of her head.

"No, she is not." she finishes lamely.

Regina’s amused look makes it way worse and Emma wishes for the earth to swallow her. 

"Okay" Kathryn says slowly after an extremely awkward silence.

"Shall we move on to business?" she suggests and Emma is quick to jump on that offer.

  


*******

  


  


At the end of the meal, Ashley saunters over, two of Emma’s favorite desserts in hand.

_Courtesy of the restaurant._ She says while placing a Chocolate Soufflé and a New York Cheesecake at the center of the table.

Emma dives right in, the rest following her lead. When the first bite of the soufflé melts on her tongue she can barely hold the moan at bay. 

She does close her eyes, though, savoring the rich flavor. She licks her lips and goes for a second bite. When the bite is halfway to her mouth, she opens her eyes and freezes. Regina, who has yet to touch any desert, stares at her, eyes darker than before. Emma is pretty dense when it comes to interactions with humans, but even she catches the way Regina’s gaze drops from her eyes to her mouth, moving expectantly to the hand holding the spoon and back to her face. 

Bringing the spoon closer to her mouth, Emma does the inexplicable. With their eyes still locked, Emma turns it upside down and licks it clean in what could only be interpreted as a sexual, overly racy motion. She sees rather than hears the way Regina’s mouth opens to let out a silent gasp. The brunette licks her lips as if _she_ just ate the souffle herself and bites her lower lip, the action making Emma feel things she's never felt before. Looking at the brunette, Emma can’t help wondering how these voluptuous lips would feel on her lips, ghosting over her neck, parting once they reach her shoulder, allowing the teeth hiding behind them to sink into her skin.

_Oh lord._

She closes her eyes and tries to shoo those pictures out of her head. She can feel the pulse, fast in her neck and in between her thighs, she can feel her cheeks getting warm and her stomach turning, she can feel her inner muscles twitch and thighs stick together forcefully. Emma has never been this turned on in her life. 

She opens her eyes and glances over to where Mary Margaret and Kathryn sit, deep in conversation and thankfully oblivious to whatever it is that’s happening on this side of the table. 

She’s too afraid to look at Regina after that, avoiding eye contact all the way back to the office. 

Emma gets back to work as soon as she reaches her table. She accomplishes so much that day, using the time she usually spends glancing towards the glassed office to actually work.

That day she chooses the elevator on the far side of the floor; everything to avoid her boss. 

How did she manage to get herself tangled in that messy situation, she would never know. But this couldn’t be happening, she can’t keep having those feelings towards her boss. She needs to get Regina out of her head, and if it means filling it with a different person, then so be it. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter contains explicit sexual content.

**Chapter 10**

  


Oh if only it were that simple.

Ever since the incident at the restaurant, the dam broke and all the repressed thoughts and feelings flooded her system; body and mind. The more Emma looked, the more beautiful Regina became. And boy, was it hard to stop looking. 

She started noticing those little things, traits that made Regina, if possible, even more attractive. For instance, the pursing of her lips when reading, or the way she kept fixing her glasses, even when they hadn't budged an inch. But Emma's favorite was and remained Regina’s obsession with her posture. Sitting in front of the computer all day long had its own tiring effects and the brunette was no exception. Inevitably so, Regina’s stance would slouch and upon noticing it, she immediately would straighten up, her expression of a deer caught in the headlights, as if waiting to be reproached. That was when blonde had to duck her head and keep her smile at bay. 

Emma was trapped in a place beyond saving; She was into Regina Mills.

And that admission, even if just in her own mind, was a first for Emma. Emma, who doesn’t remember ever being into someone. She was used to being approached and allowing things to happen, letting Neal take her out on a makeshift date (if you consider some burgers at the nearby deli a date that is), accepting a drink from the guy at the bar. She was never to one to initiate, and more like accepted the attention, even if not necessarily a wanted one.

That desire for that specific someone made itself known even in sleep-realm, and for the first time in her eighteen years of living, Emma has a sex dream. Or at least that is what she assumes. She doesn’t remember much of it, just shoots up in her bed, sweaty, aroused and heavily breathing. She can’t recall the details of the dream, but one brunette was definitely there.

She kicks her blanket off just to retrieve it a moment later, to then push it away again. Relenting when she finally realizes the itch can't be ignored, Emma sends a hand between her thighs. A gasp soon turns to a moan when fingers brush against slick swollen folds. With the pulses of pleasure stronger than ever before, the blonde can’t hold back the throaty noises that escape. Touching herself has never felt like that before, her center was never that sensitive. At that moment, a clear picture appears in her head, making her muscles clench.

In spite of the warnings that flash in her head, Emma decides to let herself have this fantasy.

_Just this once._

She closes her eyes and lets the images fill her head, pictures of Regina floating in front of her closed eyelids. 

_Regina in her tight blue dress, with a zipper starting at her thighs and ending at the back of her neck._

Slow circles around her bundle, not touching just yet.

_Regina with a black pencil skirt, tight around her ass, rising slightly when she sits down, exposing smooth skin._

Getting closer to the center, fingers drawing smaller circles.

_Regina with a white button-up shirt, two upper buttons open, the third one on its way to pop out..._

Deliberate motions, slow and accurate and toe-curling.

_...with the black lace bra, an ample cleavage peeking from underneath._

Fingers circling her clit, pressuring to the point of eye-rolling. 

_Regina licking her lips and biting it._

Faster.

_Regina laughing with her glasses on, humming._

Harder.

_A_ _picture of Regina with her eyes closed, her back arched_ _and..._

A throaty, prolonged moan escapes, as her eyes close and her back arches painfully. Biting her lip, Emma waits for the waves of pleasure to dissipate. Body finally limp and boneless, Emma lays still and waits for the exhaustion to take over. 

  


*******

  


April rolls over, and with it the realization that Emma can’t forget Regina, no matter how hard she tries. Though it doesn’t stop her from putting a ridiculous amount of effort on avoiding the woman at all costs. That plan, of course, only partially beneficial; there is no ignoring the boss with whom she works on the same project, all while sitting right outside her office. 

Around noon, Regina stops by.

"Emma"

She wants to stay hidden so badly, but Regina is her boss. She swallows hard, the lump still present in her throat, and looks up.

"Yes," she clears her throat "How may I help you?" 

Her tone blank enough to urge an arch of eyebrow from her superior.

"I need to speak with you today. Unfortunately my schedule is packed, would you mind sticking around after hours? It's pretty important."

Emma doesn’t work on Fridays and so she nods. 

"Err, sure, I guess."

"Good"

  


*******

  


The clock shows 6:30 pm. 

Emma hasn't been able to concentrate since 6 pm. The minute the office started to empty Emma was left with her thoughts and doubts. Was she in trouble? Did Regina notice her recent change of behavior? Did she finally do a one plus one on the whole restaurant thing? 

The blonde is getting worked up, foot jumping nervously as she waits. 

At 19:30 the door finally opens, confusion soon takes over when Regina steps out, her coat and bag in hand. This is enough for Emma to question herself, wondering whether she had heard wrong.

But then Regina smiles apologetically at her.

"I'm sorry it took so long, I got held"

"It's okay" motioning towards the bag and the coat in the brunette's hands, she asks "Would you like to reschedule?"

Regina follows her line of sight, pausing for a short moment.

"Oh no, of course not. It is just very late and I have to admit that I am quite famished. Would you join me for dinner, Emma? We could discuss our matters there."

Despite knowing the strictly professional reasoning behind it, Emma can’t stop her body from going into sensory overload. Regina and her, just the two of them, in a restaurant, at night. It’s not a date, but at the same the time it is.

What is she going to say? What if it’s some sort of bad news? She can’t just storm out of the restaurant. 

_Oh lord._

"Emma?"

She’s snatched out of her reverie. 

"Err, yeah sure." she mumbles. What could she possibly say to that? _No, Regina. I wouldn't like to have the dinner with the most_ _striking_ _woman,_ _one that_ _I have a huge crush on for weeks now?_

"Good. Do you like Italian?"

  


*******

  


_Don't mess up, don't mess up, don't mess up._

That is the only thought going through her mind the whole time. Emma has the tendency to put her foot in her mouth often, and she needs to prevent that from happening tonight.

The restaurant they are in is very nice, but, luckily, not too fancy. Regina looks almost regal sitting in the soft leather chairs, and next to her, Emma feels like a stray dog. She looks at the menu, utterly clueless. 

For years now, Emma likes to refer to herself as a professional eater, yet this menu equals to trying to read in gibberish. Before she has any chance of embarrassing herself by ordering some weird-ass fancy food, she admits defeat.

"Any recommendations?" 

Regina looks up at her, her expression thoughtful.

"What do you like to eat?"

"Everything" she blurts out automatically. 

Regina is taken aback for just a second, then, she laughs; a real laugh, one with teeth and wrinkles around her warm chocolate eyes, that makes Emma’s stomach squeeze. 

"Well," she clears her throat "I heard the lasagna here is superb"

"Lasagna it is, then."

  


*******

  


"You don't talk much, do you?" 

It’s half observation, half question, and Emma isn’t sure how to respond. Regina waits patiently, sipping on her red wine, eyes fixed on Emma the entire time.

"Not so much to tell, I guess" she shrugs, not quite sure how she feels about the attention she is suddenly receiving.

"I'm sure it's not true" the brunette counters gently, a tone that, surprisingly, suits her.

"Well, nothing good anyway…"

"Still" 

Emma, still oblivious to where Regina is going with it, decides to indulge her with some information.

"What would you like to know?"

The brunette swirls the burgundy liquid, identical to the color of her lips.

"Whatever you feel like telling."

She muses, gracefully kicking the ball to Emma’s side. Twitching a little in her seat, Emma gives it a go.

"I'm a foster kid, always had been. Moved around quite a bit and ditched the place the minute I turned eighteen. That’s it, I guess." 

When she sees her companion's eyebrow arch she quickly adds “Told you, boring"

"Not to me" the brunette determines, promoting a rush of warmth in Emma’s chest. 

"What about you? You don't talk much either"

Regina makes a non-committal, very uncharacteristic, noise.

"I'm a very private person."

"And why is that?"

The brunette looks surprised at the question "Why is that?" she echoes, earning a nod from Emma.

"Yes, I mean, you are part of a very high-profiled family. They are all very public and yet when I googled you I came up with nothing."

"When you _googled_ me?" Regina repeats with gleaming eyes and a hint of a smile.

Realizing what she had just let slip is enough to turn Emma’s cheeks to crimson. 

"Yes, I mean-" she clears her throat and Regina's smirk grows wider "when I came to the company I wanted to know everything so I searched you…" she babbles, the last part almost inaudible. 

"Yes, I suppose it makes sense" the brunette hums in response and Emma looks up just in time for her to add "Of course it would have been _far_ more convincing had you managed to keep the stammer of you talking and the blush off your face.”

Emma sighs, defeated "It's true" she insists but it sounds weak, even to her.

"Don't beat yourself over it, dear" Regina says, her tone amused "I find you inability to lie endearing."

The waiter arrives with their food, efficiently halting their conversation, that is long forgotten the minute Emma takes the first bite.

"God" she moans when she’s met with the exquisite taste.

"Do you like it?"

"Mmm" the blonde confirms with her mouth full.

Regina seems satisfied with that answer and they continue to eat in silence. 

But not so long after, Emma comes to a point where she feels like she can’t take not knowing any longer.

Emma has the tendency to assume the worst in every situation, which isn’t her fault, considering her past and that she was constantly handed the worst cards in the deck, ever since birth. A few months of good luck can’t change the years of bad luck. That's why, she is still finding herself expecting the worst. And that moment is no different, Emma simply can’t shake the feeling that this conversation is going to end badly.

"So," she takes a deep breath, opting on getting it out of the way as quickly as possible, just like ripping a band-aid "Are you going to make me wait all throughout this meal to tell me I'm fired?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

  


Regina, who’s in the middle of a bite, lifts her hand in a motion for Emma to wait. She chews the food slowly, as if nothing has happened, though her confused frown suggests otherwise.

"What do mean?” she finally asks, voice calm and collected.

"Well," Emma scratches the back of her neck as she tries to navigate through her thoughts, suddenly doubting herself "Why else would you request a talk?"

"I don't know" she feigns a thinking face just for a moment, then her gaze is on Emma "Maybe to tell you that Kathryn and I have seen how hard you work and we don't feel that it's necessary for us to wait four more weeks to officially hire you."

"I…" Emma stammers, surprised at the turn of events.

"Welcome to the company, Miss Swan" Regina raises her glass as a salute and takes a sip. She takes another small bite, chewing delightfully as she waits for Emma to process the information. The blonde, in turn, takes her sweet time to wrap her head around the fact that she’s an official Mills’ employee. When it finally sinks in, a broad smile settles on her face.

"Thank you!” she breathes out, and her smile broadens even further into a full beam accompanied with gleaming eyes. Her happy expression isn’t lost on Regina, who at first, is surprised at the show of emotion from the usually reserved Emma. She then bites her lower lip, eyes jumping all over Emma’s face, taking her in.

"You are very beautiful when you smile, Emma," she states, as a matter of fact, lifting the glass to her mouth "you should smile more"

She takes a sip as she waits for Emma’s response. But Emma has no idea how to respond, currently channeling all of her energy to breathing properly.

_Did Regina just? Oh my god, did she just call her…_ _Beautiful_ _?_

She feels the blush conquering her throat on its way to her cheeks. 

“I-”

_Thank her!_

Her mind screams. But out of all the possible responses she could voice out that moment, starting from thanking her all the way to shrugging it off, Emma’s mind chooses to conjure the most idiotic one.

"And when I don’t smile?" is blurted before she can stop it, and she immediately winces.

Regina, on the other hand, doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Instead, she smirks and answers without batting an eyelash "Still gorgeous"

And if Emma thought she couldn’t get any redder, well, that moment she’s proved wrong. Not sure how to handle the compliments coming for Regina, no less, she practically flees the table.

"Excuse me"

She makes a beeline to the bathroom. When in private Emma allows herself a moment of swooning, an idiotic smile and dreamy look on her face, followed by self-reprimanding, ordering herself to calm the fuck down. 

Five minutes later, she steps out of the bathroom to the sight of Regina handing a credit card to a waiter. 

"Hey!" she protests as she edges towards the table.

Regina looks up innocently.

"What?"

"Come on, Regina," she sighs, shaking her head "I can't just let you pay for me."

"Of course you can, I asked you to join me"

Emma retakes her seat, hand reaching for the wallet she previously placed on the table. But Regina is not having it, apparently, as she places her hand atop Emma’s.

"As I said, Miss Swan, this one is on me."

Her tone is enough to end the discussion. Well, that and the fact that Emma’s focus is entirely on the warm hand covering hers.

"Fine" she mumbles, slightly overwhelmed.

  


*******

  


Emma accompanies Regina back to the office, assuming her car, or at least her ride, will be waiting for her there. 

Once they reach the building's entrance, not knowing what else to do, Emma turns to look at Regina.

"Thank you for the meal and," she pauses "the official hiring" she smiles shyly, shoulders rising to a half persecuted shrug.

"You’re welcome" Regina nods, the edges of her lips edging upward.

"Okay, then…" she rocks back and forth on her heels "I guess I'll see you at work, then?" she promotes, her body already angling away from her companion.

"Where are you going?" the brunette frowns.

"Home"

"On foot?"

"Foot, bus, whichever comes first." she says, shoving her hands in the pockets of her trousers, which isn’t as satisfying as doing it while wearing jeans, but still. 

It seems like the wrong answer, since Regina doesn’t seem very happy with it. 

"Let me give you a ride home"

"I can walk home, you know…"

The brunette huffs "I know you _can_ walk Emma, it's not a question of capability."

The blonde rolls her eyes at the over-protectiveness, entertaining the thought of how much that behavior must resemble parental worry.

"Regina, I do this every day, sometimes much later than this time. I think I can manage."

"I don't like it" she folds her hands in displease and Emma chuckles at the sight.

"Well, it isn't really for you to like or not to like." she counters, turning her back on an irritated looking Regina.

"Emma!" she calls after her.

"Goodnight, Regina" she says without turning around, hand lifting above her head as a farewell, and walks her way uptown.

  


*******

  


"Look who's finally showed her face." Ruby calls when Emma enters the diner. "Long time no see"

"Hey, Rubs" 

The two hug until Ruby is spanked with a towel by her grandma. Emma sits on her favorite bar stool and picks a discarded newspaper, knowing that Ruby will come to her when she’s free. 

"I never get to see you anymore" 

Ruby says as she leans against the bar, next to Emma’s seat.

"I know, it was crazy for a while. It's going to be better now, though," she smiles "I'm officially hired!"

"Congratulations!" Ruby beams at her, looking genuinely excited "Does it mean you'll finally stop working at Antony's? At least tone it down a little?"

"Soon," she promises "I still have to make up for the time I earned almost nothing. You know, internship and all… Once I regain some extra cash, I'll go back to doing weekends only and then you'll have a lot more of me to suffer." She jokes and winks at Ruby.

"Can't wait for that"

Emma takes a sip from her lukewarm coffee.

"So, do you work tonight?"

"I'm afraid so, Rubs." 

"And tomorrow?" 

"As well"

"Stop working! I don't like you anymore"

The brunette pouts in a childlike manner, provoking a chuckle out of Emma. 

"Next week I'll save you a night and you get to choose what we do. How does that sound?"

Ruby feigns a look of consideration, just for the sake of it, before quickly relenting "Fine, but I choose and you don't get to argue, like, at all"

  


*******

  


And just like that, it’s Monday again, and for some reason, Emma is quick to get up that morning. Since she has the time, she opts on a quick shower and a nice breakfast, which she hasn’t had since, well, ever.

When she arrives at the office, Mary Margaret is already in work mode. She glances, as casually as possible, towards Regina's office to find that the brunette has arrived as well.

She puts her things down, planning on a quick coffee before actually starting to work.

She’s almost out of the room when Mary Margaret calls after her.

"Can you please make one for Ms. Mills too?"

"Sure.” she says, disappearing from sight “And hello to you too." 

She knocks on the glass door with her elbow.

"Come in" 

"Good morning" Emma greets as she places the coffee on Regina's desk.

"Good morning" Regina returns before taking a sip out of the mug. She closes her eyes, welcoming the caffeine to her system. "Thanks for the coffee" 

"Sure"

Regina's focus is now solely on her. 

"I see you made it back home in one piece." she states dolly as she tries to keep her smile at bay.

Emma spreads her arms "Well, I'm here, aren't I?" she says cheekily and then drops her arms. 

They go silent for a few awkward moments.

"So," Regina finally speaks up, filling the uncomfortable void "How was your weekend?"

"Good, I guess."

"Did you do anything special?"

"No, not really. You?" 

Regina nibbles on her lower lip, and right before she is about to respond, the phone rings.

"Mills" she answers, her voice professional, cold almost, and it amazes Emma how different her tone is when she’s speaking to her.

"Yes, I understand" she hums, scribbling a few notes on a piece of paper "And she said?" she promotes, going into an additional set of nodding and humming, as her delicate hand ghosts over the paper.

While waiting for her to finish the call, Emma catches a glimpse of her reflection in one of the windows. 

_Does_ _her hair look that bad?_

She grimaces at what she sees. Looks like the weather is warming up and with the change of seasons comes the infamous humidity. She looks like a lion. No rubber band too, she points out bitterly, hands searching her pockets for a savior.

She comes out short, pouting, until her eyes land on the pencils-stand on Regina's desk. She mules the idea just for a moment.

She picks one pencil, waving it in front of Regina in question. Upon the brunette’s nod of approval, Emma bends over, gathers her blonde mane into a messy bun and sticks the pencil through it until it shows no signs of moving. 

Only when done, Emma notices Regina, who's watching her closely, eyes skipping from her hair to hair face, down her body and up again. The predatory look makes Emma’s knees wobbly. She can be painfully dense sometimes, but even she can guess the meaning of that look. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, Emma finds that she can’t tear her gaze away from Regina’s. So she stands there, cheeks slightly tainted, as Regina multitasks her way out of the conversation.

"I understand," she says curtly, her attention divided between the person on the other line and the person in front of her "No, I agree. We will definitely have a look. Yes. Thank you."

She places the phone back in its case and leans back in her chair, a finger tracing her lower lip.

"What am I going to do with you, Emma?" she asks, her face thoughtful and Emma’s brain short-circuits at the sight. 

"S-sorry?"

"I think I have it under control and then you come" she points at her "and pick up your hair like this" motioning circles with her hands, she closes her eyes and takes a breath. When she opens them they're glazed with desire "and I can see your neck. Do you know what it makes me want to do?"

_Keep it together_

"W-what?" 

_T_ _hat was not together Swan_.

"I want to molest that smooth creamy skin of yours until you don't have a single spot left untouched." 

She says, voice a little rougher and that does things to Emma, things she only feels when deep in pleasure and close to climax. Now, how did Regina manage to get her to that stage just by talking? 

She closes her eyes and lets out an airy _Regina._

And it is so charged with desire that it rattles the both of them.

Regina shakes her head "Please don't say my name like that, Emma, or else I won't be able to stop myself"

The promise, or threat, she’s still not sure, makes her head dizzy. Still, she manages to come back with "You started it"

She grimaces at the, honestly, absolutely childlike response. She’s about to mumble a _sorry_ when Regina starts laughing. Soon enough, Emma joins her.

Then, Regina is her serious charming self again.

"Emma, would do you join me for coffee after work today?"

She asks, and the way her velvety voice caresses her name leaves Emma no choice but to agree. Unfortunately, she has work that day.

"I’d love to, but I can't today, I have to wo-" she swallows the end of the sentence when she realizes what she was about to admit to her boss, or more accurately, to one of her bosses. Instead, she goes with "I'm busy"

"How about tomorrow, then?"

Emma nods enthusiastically, too enthusiastically if she may, and Regina's face lights up "Good"

"But" Emma adds with her serious face on "you let me pay this time" she points her finger at a smugly smiling Regina.

"Maybe" the brunette smirks "And you will let me give you a ride home"

Now it is Emma's turn to sport a coy look as she responds with "Maybe."

  


*******

  


That night, despite it being well after midnight, Emma is standing in front of the closet contemplating on what her outfit for tomorrow should be. Reducing the number of meals she used to indulge herself with at the restaurant has helped her lose some of the already almost non-existent fat around her stomach. Her walks to and from work seem to be doing their part as well, leaving her with a pretty toned physique.

She picks a tighter pair of pants this time, charcoal gray, recently purchased on a great sale in the Village. She matches it with a pretty low cut navy blue shirt, creating a casual, but overall extremely flattering look. 

She even goes as far as wearing the only set of lingerie she owns, lacy, red, and very unlike her usual self. 

Emma’s not even counting on Regina to see this, it’s just knowing that she has it on will help her maintain a smidgen of confidence when she is around the goddess in the flesh, Regina Mills. Honestly, Emma has no idea why Regina finds her remotely interesting, but she isn’t about to complain. 

Regina is beautiful, smart, elegant, resourceful and rich and Emma is, well, Emma. She desperately wants to believe that her attraction to the brunette goes both ways. But even if not, just being in her presence will suffice.

Emma has no idea how to define herself when it comes to her preferences; But one thing she does know, is that she wants, desires and is attracted to Regina Mills. It's set in stone, so much that it doesn’t even matter that she is a woman. Regina is so intriguing and appealing to her, that it’s not scary anymore, and that’s terrifying. Despite her obvious inexperience, in general, but especially with women, she is willing to take the risk. 

And that's why Emma puts on her only set of sexy lingerie. Maybe some miracle will occur and she’ll manage to seduce Regina with the mounds created by this push-up bra. Maybe, just maybe, Regina will like her back. And for that unlikely, but still somehow existent outcome, she has to try. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 

"Emma, you look nice today!" Mary Margaret announces the minute she enters the room.

"Thank you"

It is the first time Emma can say things worked in her favor. Usually, everything goes wrong exactly when she needs it to go right; pimples pop before an important meeting, hair frizzing out in front of her crush and the list goes on. 

Today, though, nothing has yet gone south (knock on wood). Her outfit flatters her newly achieved body, her hair is all around perfect with straight roots curling their way to the ends, and her face is pimple-free. She didn't even have to apply more make up than usual, which is always a blessing. 

Emma doesn’t even reach her desk when she hears an

"Good morning, ladies"

"Good morning, Ms. Mills" Mary Margaret beats her to it.

She turns around, unable hide her satisfaction upon seeing Regina's line of sight, her behind. Of course, it takes the brunette one second to jump back to her in-control self and look Emma straight in the eye.

"Good morning" Emma adds after that little escapade. Regina gives her a quick look over before turning to Mary Margaret.

"I need you to accompany Kathryn to a meeting she has with the party planners. Keep an eye on our preset goal list and make sure Kathryn doesn't stray too far from our budget."

"Sure, no problem." Mary Margaret is quick to respond "When do you need me there?"

Regina turns her wrist to glance at her watch.

"The meeting starts in 30, make sure you're there before that."

"And you," she turns back to Emma "I need you to accompany me to a meeting with our legal department and take notes."

"Okay"

"Put your things down and come to my office, I need to brief you." 

  


*******

  


"You look very nice today" Regina says once they’re inside the elevator, on their way to the lower floors of the building. 

"Thank you" she mumbles a little shyly. Receiving compliments proves to be hard enough without having Regina, the epitome of beauty and her crush, as the complimentor. Feeling a little braver she responds with:

"So do you," she pauses "well, you always do."

"Thank you, Emma"

The elevator pings, announcing their arrival to their destination. Emma follows Regina and tries her best, partially successful, not to stare at her behind. God, it is hard. Regina looks flawless, silky shiny hair, glowing face, and bright red lips, clad in a burgundy dress, tight in all the right places and yet work-appropriate. And this combination between revealing and concealing drives Emma crazy. 

Regina marches like a power-house and people step out of her way the minute they see her approaching them. Emma feels like she’s following a queen. Eventually, the brunette enters a large conference room with Emma right behind her.

Regina approaches a large-sized man, probably in his sixties, and shakes his hand. "Mr. White"

"Ms. Mills" he responds, his voice deep and earthy. "Meet my protégé, Killian Jones"

"Mr. Jones" she moves to shake his hand. Emma immediately detects resentment in her changed tone. "I believe we’ve met already."

"Indeed we have" he responds with a thick Irish accent and Emma has to stop herself from cringing. The accent makes him sound arrogant, she hates arrogance. 

"This" Regina gestures towards her "Is Miss Swan, she will assist me and take notes during our meeting."

She can feel two sets of eyes scanning her, making her want to crawl away and hide. It stands in such contradiction to when Regina checks her out. She enjoys being watched by Regina, but being ogled by these two men reminds her of bad times in her life.

"Hello, love" Jones approaches her with a sinister smile on his face. He takes her hand and kisses the back of it, all while maintaining eye contact. His gaze wanders all over her figure, stopping in all of the inappropriate places, starting with her boobs and ending with a very rude stretch of his neck to steal an appreciative look at her ass.

"Have I heard a Miss? Single, then?" he inquires, his hand was still holding hers.

A throat is cleared to her right, followed by Mr. White saying "Let's start"

She finally snatches her hand from his hold, sitting down next Regina. 

Everything about the brunette's posture screams angry; her hands in tight fists, her leg jumping furiously and her back stiff. Emma chances a look at her face and is met with an irritated looking Regina, lips a tight pursed line and eyes shooting daggers. She follows her line of sight to find the receiver to be Jones himself, who’s looking at her with a sly smile and a raised eyebrow. There’s no real attempt of his to hide the filth of his thoughts that currently shine in his eyes.

The meeting continues and as expected, despite her obvious sour mood, Regina remains utterly professional throughout the entire thing. As the time passes, she relaxes gradually and by the end of the conversation all that is left is her stiff posture and a commonly presented disapproving look.

"Mr. White," the brunette tilts her head forward in recognition "I will be in touch."

She outright ignores Jones as she leaves the room, Emma in tow. They are walking down the corridor when she hears an _Aye!_

Regina doesn’t bother to stop and therefore neither does Emma.

"Swan" Killian calls again and jogs to where they’re standing, waiting for the elevator.

Emma rolls her eyes and sends a forced smile his way, but he seems to be unfazed by her obvious lack of interest.

"So, love, how about a drink tonight? Maybe an after party later?" he winks and Emma has the urge to gag. She really needs to start appreciating women more, all subtle and classy in comparison to beast-like men. She’s a shy of putting him in his place when Regina steps in front of her, anger oozing off her in waves. 

"Back off, Jones. I mean it."

He looks at the both of them for a moment and then his mouth spreads into a cocky smile, eyebrow arched high.

"Did I step in your territory, your majesty?" he mocks, his tone amused. Obviously, he enjoys their little conversation; the same can’t be said about Regina and Emma, though, as both remain silent. 

"Why don't we let Emma decide who she prefers?” he teases and Emma thinks that’s it, that’s Regina’s breaking point but then the elevators doors open with a ping. They step inside, and just as the doors are about to close, Killian gives it another try.

"So, drinks tonight?" 

And just before the doors completely close she calls "You wish"

Regina lets out a frustrated growl and places both hands on her hips.

"God, I hate that Irish prick"

Emma chuckles, unable to hold it in, earning a surprised look from her companion.

"What's so funny?"

"You," she answers "you just cursed, it's not like you"

"Mature" Regina jabs sarcastically while rolling her eyes. When edges of her lips look like they’re begging to quirk up, an amused smile blooms over Emma’s face.

"Oh, you love it." she dismisses, her chest a little puffer. 

Regina doesn’t answer immediately, leaving enough room for Emma to feel uncomfortable before relenting. 

"I guess I do"

Despite being the one insinuating it in the first place, Emma can’t help the surprise that washes over her.

"You do?"

Regina takes a moment to examine the woman in front of her, as if looking for answers in Emma’s form. Eventually, she replies.

"I like you, Emma. Do I really have to say it out loud for you to realize it?"

Emma nods, almost enthusiastically, and Regina lets out a short laugh.

"Okay, then” she nods “I like you" she repeats, voice soft.

Emma almost, _almost_ , swoons, a wave of warmth washing her chest upon hearing those words coming out of her crush’s mouth.

"Say it again" she mumbles shyly, against her better judgment, and Regina rolls her eyes but repeats it, nonetheless 

"I like you, Emma Swan, quite a bit" she adds in afterthought and smiles when a tint of pink rises from Emma's neck to her cheeks.

"I like you too" Emma fights to get it past her tongue, but post action it feels wonderful, especially when Regina’s face lights up at that. 

"Oh, you do?"

Regina asks, her tone amused, and Emma nods in response. 

"Sure about that?"

When that earns her another nod, the brunette returns:

"Good"

  


*******

  


"Ready to go?" Regina steps out of her office, her belongings in hand.

"Sure" Emma says, gathering up her things. It seems to be taking too long, so she opens her bag, places it near the edge of the desk and uses her entire arm to push everything into the bag. She looks up with satisfaction and is met with an amused Regina.

"Really?"

"Really" Emma confirms with a smile and Regina shakes her head in disbelief.

They are walking west, towards the eastern side of central park, where, according to Regina, there’s a beautiful coffee shop. Emma is enjoying the weather, which is finally warming up as it should this time of the year. 

She glances over at Regina, frown reclaiming its hold on her face when her gaze lands on the brunette’s shoes. Emma suggested a cab, a bus, even the subway but Regina outright refused, insisting on walking. The blonde questioned her on that choice considering the seemingly pain-inflicting heels she was wearing.

"It's a matter of habit," she explains when Emma questions it further "do you think a person is comfortable with running the first time they do it? No" she answers her own question "but they get used to it."

"So it’s comfortable now?" 

Regina considers it before going with "It's tolerable"

"Your feet probably kill you at the end of the day."

The brunette hums in response and then adds "Depends on the shoe"

"So you're in constant need of a foot rub, huh?" 

What was an innocent comment is quickly reformed in Regina’s hands, who turns to her, smirking.

"Why? Are you offering one?" 

"I" she chokes "No. I mean- well, I can if you…"

"I was just messing with you, relax" she chuckles, shaking her head.

"Mmm" she responds with a non-committal sound, swallowing hard.

She has never liked someone that much before, never had that someone ask her out for a coffee, never had this person be a woman. She is nervous and it’s taking control of her brain, she thinks to herself as she looks ahead, spotting the line of trees of the park. 

"Emma?" she’s pulled out of her head.

"Yes?" she turns to look at Regina, who’s looking at her intently.

"I asked, is everything okay? You seem a little" she searches for the right word "off"

"No, I'm fine" she’s quick to assure, perhaps a little too quickly for Regina’s liking.

"We don't have to do this if you feel uncomf-"

"No, no!" Emma barges in before Regina can reach any conclusions, and wrong ones as that "I…"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

Emma deflates. The fact is that she does want to share, for the first time in a while, but in all honesty doesn’t know how to. Years of keeping to herself is a habit hard to get rid of. Well, that and the fear of telling Regina and having her not like what she hears, not like the scarred and broken Emma.

"No, I do," she determines, voice sturdy with conviction "I just don’t really now how…" when Regina says nothing in return, she speaks up again "I will open up, it's just going to take time."

"I understand, don’t worry.” she assures “I know a lot about walls, trust me" 

They walk quietly for while.

"Let's save the deep talk for a different time. How does that sound?" she asks eventually, voice a little lighter and Emma jumps on that offer right away.

"That sounds great"

The coffee shop is located right in front of central park. The first two floors occupied by nicely dressed people, sitting quietly and discussing their day, making Emma glad for having 'work clothes' on, or else she would have stuck out like a sore thumb. The upper floor seems to be the real jewel; half of it an open balcony facing the park. When they go upstairs and approach their table, which is undoubtedly the best seat in the house, Emma can’t help but admire the great mishmash of green and concrete that fills her sight. She also can’t help but wonder how they were seated so quickly when there was an obvious line at the entrance.

"So, who do you know here?"

"Mmm?" Regina, who’s fiddling with her handbag, looks up in question.

"How did we get the best seats in the house? And so quickly?"

Realization dawns on the brunette "I know the owner of this place, she is a friend of mine"

"It is a very nice place" she repeats after taking another quick look around "unique"

"Oh yes, that's her thing. She owns several places and they all have _unique_ concepts."

"Really?"

"Yes, she has restaurants, coffee shops, amazing bars…" Regina elaborates, and Emma perks up.

"We should go to one of her bars, then." she offers, feeling adventurous after her one (and only) successful trial with Ruby.

Regina tries to hide a smile with a hand placed over her mouth, but Emma catches it anyway. 

"What?" she asks, affronted.

"I'm not sure you would want to go to these bars" Regina says, amusement gracing her tone as well. 

"Why not?" she frowns, mind jumping to all sorts of notions like classes and status.

Regina clears her throat, drawing Emma’s attention.

"These bars are usually for women"

"Aren't they always?" Emma asks, genuinely confused, so Regina tries again.

"Only"

The brunette’s looking at her, silently waiting for Emma’s reaction. The blonde surprises even herself when she retorts, calmly, with

"Okay, gay bars, so?"

Regina examines her thoroughly, as her face contorts with thoughtfulness. She looks like she’s having quite a debate in her head and then, eventually, asks

"Are you gay, Emma?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

 

The blonde chews her lower lip, as she tries to figure out how to respond.

Her gaze alternates between the horizon and her companion as her mind rushes through a hundred thoughts a second. 

She decides on honesty, and for the first time since she started getting asked on this subject, she doesn’t lash out or run away, she simply says:

"I don't know"

Regina nods and takes a sip of her coffee as she considers her next move.

"Are you attracted to me?"

She inquires after a moment of silence and a smile blossoms on the blonde’s face before she can help it.

"Yes" she replies quickly and determinedly, earning a matching warm smile from Regina. 

"Sure about that one?" the brunette asks, her tone easy and eyes twinkling with humor. It is pretty obvious that Emma has feelings for Regina, considering the amount of blush, incoherent babbling and heart palpitations she experiences every time she's around her; that are all (at least most of them) pretty noticeable on the outside, which makes Emma assume that the brunette already knows the answer to this one. 

"The only people who aren’t attracted to you and are authorized to are the dead and the blind people.” she says cheekily “Blind that didn't get a chance to roam their hands all over you." she adds as an afterthought, earning a chuckle from the older woman.

Regina lifts a perfectly sculptured eyebrow, her expression still thoroughly amused when she asks

"Is that so?"

That earns her a vigorous nod from Emma’s end. Regina hums, and her face becomes thoughtful.

"And you?" she asks, her demeanor soon breaks as a mischievous smile appears.

Emma fails to see the trap being set right in front of her "What?"

"Would you like to roam your hand all over my body?"

Realizing her mistake, Emma blushes, then mumbles shyly "You know I do"

"Okay, then" the brunette says and Emma looks up, a hopeful look on her face.

"Really?"

"All in good time" she says smirking, then lifts her cup of coffee as a salute, and takes a sip, eyes on Emma the entire time. The blonde huffs, and slumps in her chair, disappointed.

"I hate it when you do that." she pouts, on the verge of a whine, but the brunette doesn’t seem too bothered by that.

"You don't" she retorts with confidence "You love it"

Emma sticks her bottom lip out while folding her hands in defiance and avoiding eye contact. She tries to ignore the brunette sitting across the table entirely, but only manages to do it for a minutes or so.

"You know what?" she turns to Regina with a pointing finger and a daring stare. "I can tease you as well. Two could play that game."

"And how would you do it?" Regina's expression is dead serious but her eyes shine with mirth. 

Emma opens her mouth to answer and then closes it when she realizes she has no idea. How can _she_ tease Regina? She has no grace, she’s not particularly funny or full of wit, and she doesn’t have her way with words like her company does. She has no teasing qualities whatsoever. But, she isn't going down without a fight.

"I don't know yet. But," she lifts her finger as she counters "I'll figure it out."

"Mhm" Regina hums as leans her chin on the base of her palm. Not a typical pose for a lady like her, but somehow Regina makes it look regal.

"Has it ever crossed your mind that you're already teasing me?"

"How?" Emma frowns at the prospect, trying to think of a single thing she had done that might have rattled the older woman. The only task she was focusing on around the brunette was keeping all of her systems in place and functioning.

Regina rubs a forefinger over her bottom lip. _God,_ she needs to stop doing that. 

"Well," she starts "as a start, you being so young, shy and innocent; You're pure, and I shouldn't want to corrupt you, except that I do." The look Regina sends her way promotes a wave of tingle from the back of her neck and all the way down to the tip of her toes.

Emma, who’s not sure how to respond to that one, considers a _corrupt me, then._ But she doesn’t get the chance to say it when Regina cuts their little stare off and leans back casually.

"But, as I’ve said before, all in good time."

  


***

  


From that point on the conversation stays on safer topics and Emma can honestly say that she has never felt more comfortable with someone. Regina is curious, but never pressuring, she cares but doesn’t suffocate and that makes all the difference. They branch out on general topics and stay away from the deep stuff, just like Regina promised. The more they talk, the more engaged the blonde feels. 

Emma doesn't like arguments. Where she grew up, arguments meant violence, they meant fights, and casualties. The same thing applied with verbal disagreements; there was something about people trampling others just to prove their point, Emma hated it and tried her best to avoid it at all costs.

But Regina, Regina doesn’t yell or stump down her opinions. She listens, nods, and considers, and only then explains why she thinks one of Emma's statements doesn’t make sense to her. And she argues her point so well that Emma finds herself agreeing, or at least considering the opposite opinion seriously. It may seem trivial, but to Emma it’s definitely not. To feel acknowledged, heard, considered, that alone makes her appreciate Regina even more. She is not just a crush, and hasn’t been for a while now. True, Regina is absolutely beautiful, and has been since day one, but it's her inside that makes her a breathtaking human being, and that’s something Emma gets to learn each and every day.

The brunette excuses herself, and heads towards the ladies room. Emma figures it’s the best opportunity for her to snatch the bill right under Regina’s nose and pay for the meal. She signals the waiter and he immediately approaches the table.

"Can I get the check please?"

"Sure" he nods and scurries away.

A moment later Regina comes back. Emma closes her eyes in disappointment, looks like she is going to have to fight her for this one.

"There you go" the waiter places the closed folder on the table. 

Emma grabs it immediately, surprised when she opens the folder and finds a card already there. She doesn’t get the chance to ask how, when Regina snatches it from her hands and pulls the card out. Emma’s watching her, mouth open in shock, as she signs the receipt and returns it to the waiter.

"Regina!" Emma calls, on the verge of yelling, furious. "You said I could pay."

"I said maybe"

_That smartass._

"I wanted to pay!" she stresses and folds her hands in a show of defiance.

"I know you did" she says with an obnoxiously calm voice "But I invited you, so I pay."

Emma opens her mouth to respond but Regina beats her to it "If you want to pay, you need to ask me."

"Fine" Emma replies petulantly, and takes a deep, calming breath "Would you go out for dinner with me?"

"That I'm paying for" she adds quickly.

Regina chuckles lightly and nods "I'd love to"

"Good" Emma smiles proudly, their banter easily forgotten.

"Good"

  


***

  


For the rest of the week Regina is a 'no show'. Her office stays closed for three whole days, the longest Emma has witnessed since the first week. Despite knowing better, Emma can’t stop her train of thoughts from leading her to the land of self-doubt; can’t help but think _w_ _hat if it’s because of me?_

Emma honestly thinks they had a good time the other day. They laughed and talked and even took a short walk in the park after. Nothing felt weird during the entire evening and they parted with a smile. In Emma's book, that answers the definition of success. She can’t help regretting for not asking Regina for her number, though. At the time she didn't think it was necessary, since they worked together and she could just knock on her door and ask. But now, all she wants is to text her, to make sure that everything is okay.

First, she assumed it was work again, London or Shanghai or anywhere else for that matter, but Mary Margaret didn't know a thing about it. The only thing that she did knew was that Kathryn asked her to cancel the brunette’s meetings for the rest of the week.

That made Emma on edge. Did she do something wrong? Did something happen to Regina?

Also, there is a certain amount of times she could ask about the brunette until it starts being suspicious. She tries to come up with questions about the party from a financial point of view and asks Kathryn to direct her to Regina, but the blonde quickly dismisses her request, sending her, instead, to some guy named Richard that works in finance as well.

It’s weekend again, and as she promised the week before, it’s Ruby's turn to plan their Saturday night out. Emma is in no mood, but she is a woman of her word, so she puts on a dress and some heels and lets Ruby drag her into a sweaty, packed dance-bar.

The ‘Pit Stop' is small and suffocating. The music is blasting, lights everywhere and the dance floor is filled with sweaty people. Emma wants to leave before she even gets in, but once inside she is desperate to do so. Ruby pulls her towards the bar and of course, thanks to their looks, a bartender approaches them immediately.

"What can I get you, ladies?" he shouts in an attempt to be heard over the loud music.

Emma tunes out, Ruby is going to pick for her anyway. She scans the place, ready for her mind to start zeroing on girls again. But it doesn’t. Emma actively looks at the girls around her, wearing tight dresses and the shortest shorts, dancing sensually to the music, and realizes that she feels nothing.

Ruby shoves a glass in her hand. "It's on the house" she violates Emma's ear with a yell. Emma takes a sip, pleasantly surprised at the cocktail Ruby chose for them. It’s fresh, sweet and has a fruity scent to it. Happy with what she got, she takes another sip and starts moving her body to the music. She is here, isn't she? She might as well have some fun.

Once she gets used to the crowdedness of the place, it becomes liberating. Knowing that no one can actually see her dance helps Emma let loose and dance freely. They dance until they can barely stand. Then, they go back to the bar to refill their cups with the help of some nice horny guys, and get back to the dance floor.

The next time Emma checks her phone, she can’t believe her eyes. It’s almost 3:30 at night. The party is still going strong, but Ruby has plans with Peter the next day and Emma promised Ashley to stop by and play with kiddo, and they decide to call it a night.

They are hot and sweaty and the option of walking back to their apartment is tempting. The party is only a couple of blocks away so they start making their way home. It’s a Saturday night, or early Sunday if she’s being accurate, and the streets are still pretty crowded.

They walk in silence, enjoying the chill on their heated skin as Emma considers her next move. She doesn’t want to tell anyone about Regina for so many reasons, but Ruby knows her well, eventually she would figure out that something is up and she would sniff around like crazy. It would be smarter to let her know a part of a story, give her this fake sense of knowledge that will keep her away from the real juice.

"Rubs" she calls once her mind is made.

"Mmm?" the brunette hums in response and they turn into a quieter street.

"I need to tell you something, but I need you to hear me out kay? Wait 'till I finish to start with the inquisition."

Ruby sends a suspicious look her way, obviously trying to assess the blonde’s level of drunkenness. But Emma is fully sober, or at least feels like it, for this talk.

She runs the sentences over in her had first, making sure she isn’t using gender pronunciation like a he or a she. When she deems it safe, she starts.

"There is someone at work that I like, a lot. It's still very new and I don't want to jinx it. So I'm asking you as a friend: A, don't tell anyone. B, please let me do this my way. Let me come to you and tell when I'm ready and I promise that I will. I'm asking you not to pressure me into telling you things because this one honestly means a lot. I've never felt like this before, not even with Neal."

There’s a stretched silence in which all Emma can hear is her own heart, beating furiously in her chest as she waits for a response.

"Wow" Ruby finally speaks up, her tone serious "Okay, so I want you to know that I'm happy for you, you have no idea how much. And I'll respect your boundaries and your pace and I will do my best not to pressure you. I do hope you know I'm always here for you, never judging. And I hope that it will work out between the two of you."

Emma smiles gratefully at her. 

That's why she loves Ruby so much; yes, Ruby can be the life of the party, funny, edgy, filter-less but she’s also compassionate, loyal and sensitive. And when Emma needs Ruby to be there for her, the brunette drops her act and opens her arms wide to let Emma into her embrace. The fact that young, lonely Emma, the one who thought she would be alone forever, has this beautiful human being as her best friend; someone who cares for her proves to be too much for the blonde, and before Emma can register what is happening, her eyes water.

"Thank you" she rasps out, her wavering tone drawing her friend’s attention.

"Aw, stop being so cute!" she demands as she engulfs Emma in a bear hug. 

They stand there for god knows how long, hugging until the blonde’s voice doesn’t shake and Ruby’s feet start screaming for mercy. Then, they part and make their way home. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

 

"Hello, little one" Emma welcomes the toddler into her arms "How are you doing today, missy?" she asks in her baby voice.

Little Lin is stationed comfortably on her hip, her attention already drawn to Emma’s blonde locks. She starts playing with them, catching and releasing, grasping tightly as she feels the foreign texture.

"Hey, Ashley" she looks at her friend and her husband "Sean, right?"

"That's right" he confirms with a smile and moves to pull piles of Tupperware out of his backpack.

"How are you?" Ashley plasters a kiss on her check and turns to look at her baby "We are having a picnic, right Emma?" she calls excitedly, winking at Emma.

"That's right, we are!" she bounces the blonde toddler on her hip, eliciting a giggle out. "I'm good" she answers Ashley's question while slowly swirling with Lin in her hands.

"How's the new job going?"

"Oh it's great, I love it there"

"I'm glad to hear that" 

They both turn to look at Sean who’s just finished setting everything. 

They had originally made plans to meet at Ashley’s, but noting what a beautiful day it was, her friend called and asked Emma to meet at the park instead. Feeling rather excited about spending some time outdoors, Emma agreed immediately, and proposed a picnic. It was only when Ashley hung up that she realized she probably didn’t have anything picnic appropriate to bring with her. After a good few minutes of scanning all of her kitchen cabinets Emma walked out with a box of crackers, Pringles and a large bottle of diet coke. Her friend, it seems, was far more prepared than that.

On the large plaid blanket are numerous boxes with fruit, bread and dips.

They sit down and munch while Lin crawls around, possessed. When she reaches the end of the blanket she stops, looking at her mom with big wide blue eyes as she sports an exaggerated pout. 

"She doesn't like grass, she's scared of it 'cause it feels funny"

Ashley provides, promoting a good laugh as they continue to observe Lin's attempts of bypassing the grass; she crawls to the other side of the blanket just to find out that she is trapped. She lets out a wail.

"Calm down, honey" Ashley fishes a toy out of the bag "there you go" she hands it to the baby who completely forgets about the sea of green surrounding them as soon as she lays her eyes on the chewed toy.

"Dada, dada" Lin calls out.

"That's right babe, where is daddy?" the kid looks at Sean and they all clap their hands. "That's right, this is daddy"

At some point, Lin passes out on the blanket and they lower the volume of their conversation, despite Ashley's promise that her girl could sleep through construction noise. Ashley tells her about Lin and all of the new things she has been doing lately, like how she uses their coffee table to pull herself up and stand, with their help of course. They talk about Emma's new job and how she manages to juggle two of those. Ashley advises her to go and check out the esplanade near the village when she hears about Emma’s wish to start running, and she promises to do just that.

Somewhere along the conversation Sean mentions Josh and a girl he’s seeing. Hearing that promotes a large smile from Emma, who’s happy for him and relived for herself. He deserves to be happy, he’s a great guy, and now Emma doesn’t need to have an awkward conversation with him on why they won’t work. 

Later that day, thinking of Josh and whatever it is they were, makes room for a rather painful understanding. With enough free time on her hands, Emma rewinds her interactions with Regina again and again, only to realize that the brunette has never said anything about her sexuality nor being attracted to Emma. She did say she liked her, but Emma frowns when she realizes the she had said the same about Josh several times in the past. She meant it in a platonic way, so what makes Emma so sure it isn’t the same for Regina? What makes Emma think she is not just the woman version of Josh to her boss? Her boss! A successful, beautiful, well achieved woman that she _works_ for.

She runs a hand through her hair as more and more arguments pop in her head, to her dismay. She’s tearing up when she realizes that the two dates, if you can even call it that, both ended without a kiss, hell, even a hug.

_You’re just a friend_

She says to herself, blinking furiously in an attempt to stop her tears from falling. It works, her cheeks remain dry.

  


***

  


"Emma"

"Yes?"

"You're drifting off again" Stephan gestures towards the entrance "New table, chop chop!"

She mumbles a _sorry_ and approaches the woman near the entrance. 

"Hey" she puts on her waitress smile "table for one?"

"No, two please. But just a second my company is parking."

"Oh, no problem"

They wait and moments later a woman walks in. Emma assigns a table for them and takes their order. She can’t seem to stop thinking about Regina, and this couple sitting in front of her holding hands isn’t really helping.

She talks to Ruby that day and asks, as casually as possible, what does it means when a person doesn't reach out after a date. Ruby, thank god, doesn't question her further and simply goes with: _The rules are pretty simple, you_ _get_ _a day, two days tops, to make contact or schedule another date._ When Emma mentions that it has been almost a week Ruby gives her sympathetic shoulder squeeze. 

_I don't think he's interested then... Sorry, Em._

During the following day her sadness morphs into anger. Emma is mad at Regina for ending whatever this was by simply ignoring her and cutting their communication line, and mad at herself, for getting attached so easily. She broke every fucking rule in her book: don't get attached, don't open up, don't expose your weaknesses. She should've known better. Now she's humiliated and hurt, and pathetic, oh so very pathetic. 

  


***

  


Emma arrives at the office the next morning with raccoon eyes and couldn't care less about it. Does she have to impress anyone? Apparently not anymore.

She doesn’t spare a single glance towards Regina's office, and isn’t planing on doing so any time soon.

"Are you okay?" Mary Margaret asks after two hours of silent work. She knows by now that Emma isn’t always in the mood for socializing but she always tries to at least pretend that she cares. Today, she just sits near her computer with a blank face and works.

"Fine" she mumbles while typing quickly.

"Okay…"

The room remains silent.

Emma can hear the clicking sound of the stiletto. _L_ _ook who's finally back_.

"Morning, ladies" Regina greets and Emma doesn’t even bother answering, let alone looking up. She can feel the chocolate orbs drilling holes in her face and does her best to keep her expression impassive, when all she wants to do is ask her why, why isn't she good enough. Emma knows she is screwed up, that's what you get for being tossed around from one house to another your entire childhood, but this time she really tried and it ended up biting her in the ass.

"Emma?"

"Mhm?" a hum is all she responds with, her eyes still on her screen.

"Please stop by my office when you finish whatever it is you're doing."

Emma doesn’t even reply.

  


***

  


She knocks on the door.

"Come in"

"You asked for me." Emma is calmer now, less angry but still guarded.

"Yes" Regina looks at her with large beautiful brown eyes and Emma can’t tear her eyes away. _Don't fall for it._ "Is everything okay?"

"I dunno," she shrugs in response "is it?"

The frown on Regina's face intensifies "I don't understand" she says, looking genuinely confused. Emma taps her foot impatiently, as she tries to hold it in. Eventually, it all spills out of her in one breath.

"Well, I don't do this" she gestures to the two of them "very often but even I know that there is a nice way to end things."

"End things? What do you mean?"

The blonde rolls her eyes at the density of her companion but elaborates nonetheless.

"We went out, I thought we had a good time, but then you just disappeared on me."

Regina lets out a sigh as she leans back in her chair "I was busy, something came up."

Emma waits for her to continue and when no explanation seems to follow, she takes the lead. "What?"

"It's personal"

Emma snorts, shaking her head in disbelief, and folds her hands.

"Oh, I get it, so I can open up and tell you things about myself, things I never tell anyone but you can disappear on me for a week and it's personal.”

Regina cringes "I'm sorry Emma, I-"

"I'm sorry too" 

  


***

  


"Are you okay, Em?" Ruby asks upon seeing her favorite special cocoa still untouched.

"I'm fine"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No"

"Sure?"

Emma huffs and grabs her things. Ruby doesn’t even get the chance to say goodbye.

The second Emma closes the door behind her she slides to the floor and buries her head between her hands. Tears soon follow, as her body is washed with emotions. She sits there, for god knows how long, and lets it all out of her system. When exhaustion finally takes over, she drags herself to the couch, falling asleep with a bottle of beer in her hand.

  


***

  


Regina doesn’t try to reach out again and their relationship quickly deteriorates back to professional only. In general, the brunette seems off her game; she cuts early, arrives late and is constantly on her phone with a worried look on her face.

It takes Emma almost two freaking weeks to get over herself and her emotions and actually consider that something might have happened to Regina.

She knocks on the door with the back of her hand.

"Come in"

Regina is sitting in front of her computer, reading. She doesn’t raise her head until Emma places the two cups of coffee on her table.

"Hi" she says shyly "Got a minute?"

Regina chews her bottom lip, her gaze alternating between Emma's reconciling smile and the lukewarm coffee before nodding hesitantly.

Usually, Regina is the one initiating, talking, taking interest, you name it. This time though, Emma concludes she might have gone overboard with her reaction. Sure, she was hurt, but she was quick to judge and refused to hear an explanation. She considers them, if not romantic interests, at least friends, and despite being mad at Regina, she cares about her. Honestly and truly and deeply cares about her.

"Look," Emma sighs as she sits down, pushing one of the cups towards Regina "I was hurt, I thought we had something and you were ending it. You were gone for a week and it completely shook me off. I don't really-" she swallows and forces herself look the brunette in the eye "I only had one relationship in my life and he was the one doing everything" her hands twist in her lap "and I feel something for you so I dived in, way out of my comfort zone. And I opened up, which is something I don't do, and then you disappeared." She looks down to her hands before realizing it and pushes herself to re-focus on her company "and I took it to heart. I was hurt, I felt rejected and I completely abandoned my duty, first and foremost, as a friend. So," she takes a large gulp of air and puts on her most caring and non-judging expression "I'm sorry, and if you are going through something and you want to share, I'm here. I'm still your friend" a small smile creeps to her face "angry and all."

They sit quietly as Regina digests Emma's speech. Steadfast on keeping true to her word, Emma sits patiently, sipping her coffee as she looks out the window, waiting for Regina to make the first move.

"I'm sorry too" it’s almost a whisper and Emma quickly turns her attention back to the brunette "I can't really talk about why I went away but you have to trust me that it was important and my mind was only on that." 

"I understand"

"No, I think you don't. I truly enjoy spending time with you and I happily agreed to another dinner and the fact that I was gone for a couple of days without reaching out, yes, it's not ideal but it doesn't change that. I will try my best to be more aware of my actions and how they affect you, since this issue I've been dealing with is continuous and will keep being one."

Regina licks her lips and opens her mouth to add something, closes it with a frown, swallows visibly, and then goes for it. 

"I would like for us to try again" she says without an ounce of confidence and it’s so unlike her usual well put together self.

"Would you?" the brunette urges gently with a hopeful look "Try again?" 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!
> 
> Just wanted to thank everyone for reading the story, liking it and commenting on it, it makes me so happy, you have no idea how much!

**Chapter 15**

 

Preparations for the party are on full speed. There are only couple of days left and despite being the one organizing the whole thing, Emma is caught unprepared.

"What do you mean you don't have a dress?" Ruby calls in despair and Emma immediately plasters a hand on her friend’s mouth to muffle the noise.

Someone from the back rows yells _shush_.

"Are you going to behave?" Emma asks in a low, warning tone, as her hand remains on the brunette’s face. Ruby sends a murderous look her way, but relents after a couple more seconds and nods in surrender. "Good," she points her finger "let the poor people watch the movie"

"What movie, Em? This is Magic Mike, there is no plot line, just abs and dicks"

Emma rolls her eyes at the crudeness "Language!" she chastises, already fed up with this conversation.

"What are you? Granny?" 

Emma shakes her head and turns back to the screen. A second later, a full size Ruby blocks her view "Tomorrow we're buying you a dress"

"Fine" she tries to push her away "Jesus, Rubs, take a mint"

Ruby pokes her tongue out but backs off, nonetheless. "Shut up"

That’s the moment when the woman from the back row has had enough "Would you shut up already? We're trying to watch"

And Ruby, who had finally quieted down, deems it important enough to shout a response. 

"Oh, go and masturbate in front of porn and leave us the fuck alone"

"Ruby, shut it," Emma whispers angrily "they're gonna kick us out"

"Let's see them try"

  


***

  


"How about this one?" 

"No, Ruby. Too revealing. I need something classic, it’s a work event"

"But sexy," Ruby counters quickly "you need a dress that will make this guy you crush on realize what an idiot he is."

Emma swallows thickly and says nothing in return. She does, though, agree with Ruby about the whole jaw-dropping thing. She needs to make Regina's eyes ball out.

"This one?" Ruby asks as she lifts a hanger, pulling Emma out of her head. 

"Show me the back"

Ruby turn the dress around and Emma gasps "That's the one!"

"Good," her friend smiles excitedly "now heels"

"Heels?" Emma protests with a pout "I don't want h-"

"Heels!" Ruby raises her voice enough to go over Emma’s and displays her no-nonsense expression.

"Fine"

  


***

  


On Friday morning, Emma, Regina, Kathryn and Mary Margaret find themselves at the Four Seasons function hall.

Large square tables are scattered all around the room, leaving space for the stage and main dance floor. On the tables are placed large vases filled with white and purple flowers, the silverware beautifully packed with silver and white napkins, and the chairs padded with cream colored fabric. There are two large buffet tables on both sides of the room and one glass bar right between them, in the middle of the room and in close proximity to the dance floor.

It’s crazy seeing everything they’ve worked on so hard for the last couple of months all set out in front of them.

Regina and Kathryn talk with the hotel representative, going over every point on their list to make sure that everything is prepared for the evening. Emma and Mary Margaret scan everything, from the private room assigned to the planners’ needs to the bathrooms, checking each item from their list. They even go as far as talking to the bartender to make sure that he knows what he’s serving that evening.

After their tenth check up, they put together an email providing the time of the event, the address, the parking arrangements and everything else in between. In order to get to the event on time, the entire company was instructed to work only half a day so they can go home and change. Being at Four Seasons for the best part of their morning, Kathryn sends the pair of assistants home to get ready as well.

  


***

  


The event is scheduled to start at 18:00. Count in the time to get there and the time to get ready, and it’s fairly clear that Emma had to start getting ready an hour ago. 

She picks her phone and dials her friend.

"Hi"

"Rubs?"

"Yes?"

"Come over"

"Copy that, be there in 20"

"Let's make it 30, I need to take a shower"

"You got it"

And boy what a long shower it is. It starts with pealing soup, then shampoo, facial soup, facial pealing, normal soup and an all-body shaving mission. When Emma steps out of the steamy bathroom she is smooth, shiny and wonderfully smelling.

She glances at the clock, noticing she has five more minutes for Ruby to come. Taking into consideration her tendency to be at least ten minutes late, and she got herself around fifteen minutes to spare.

She brushes her teeth and flosses, then moves on to rub an amazingly smelling cream all over her body. She’s just about finished when she hears a loud knock on the door. And then another. And another.

"Hey" she greets Ruby, who stands at the entrance with a large bag stuffed with beauty products.

"Let's make you pretty" she walks past Emma into the apartment.

It takes a minute for her words to sink in and then Emma calls-

"Hey!"

  


***

  


"It's hot, Ruby" she winces.

"Shut up, you want your hair to look nice, right? That's the price you have to pay." She says as she parts Emma's hair into groups and starts straightening it. When she’s done doing her hair, she lifts it, twisting in into a bun.

"Why did you do that? Doesn't it ruin everything you just did?" Emma inquires, confused.

"No, you dumb-ass" Ruby huffs "It gives it volume and a more natural look." and that explanation has Emma rolling her eyes.  
  


***

  


"Ouch! You're putting in my eye!" the blonde whines for what feels like the umpteenth time.

"No shit, Einstein! It's eyeliner, it's supposed to be in your eye!"

Emma groans in frustration, the whole process proving to be too damn boring and long for her liking "You know what you're doing, right?"

The brunette replies with a well placed smack her on the shoulder that draws a shriek, and continues working on her master piece.

"Ruby, are you sure-"

"One more question or doubt expressed about my abilities to do your makeup and I'll tweeze your eyelashes one by one. Consider yourself warned."

"Okay, shutting it." She lifts her hands in surrender "please don't tweeze my eyes out" she begs in a whisper.

  


***

  


"Wow, I-"

"I told you to trust me, didn't I?"

"You did, thank you!"

Emma exclaims as she turns back to the mirror to examine herself once again. 

She looks like Emma, except she doesn't, not really. Her hair is up at the front while her back remains completely loose, golden locks tickling her bare back. Her face is flawless, the black liner and mascara making her eyes look almost cat like. Her cheekbones more prominent than ever and her apples slightly pink. 

Her long burgundy dress falls perfectly around her in a revealing frontal and lower back cut, exposing barely appropriate cleavage and smooth masculine lines stopping right above the curve of her behind. The soft yet constrictive fabric is held by two thin spaghetti straps. The dress reaches her feet, making her black heels just about visible.

"You look banging!” Ruby calls happily, hands clasped together as gray eyes ghost over her “Now, go get them!"

  


***

  


Emma doesn’t want to chance arriving with public transportation dressed like that, and instead pre-orders a taxi. On her way down the stairs and into the cab, she gets cat-called twice.

"Where to, miss?"

"Four Seasons Hotel, please"

Emma enters the hall, and despite being there that same morning she is in awe of how beautiful everything looks. The tables, the flowers and the lighting all blend into a beautiful celebration of purple and white. 

She nods towards several people she knows on her way to her table, missing the way they stare at her when she passes them.

Mary Margaret and David stand near their assigned table, looking nothing short of adorable. Mary Margaret sports a white dress, almost the same tone as her skin, with yellow undertones and pieces of fabric. The dress is A-shaped, pretty tight and conservative in the upper-body region, and fluffier as it reaches the legs, stopping mid-thigh. David is wearing a pretty standard three-piece suit and his tie color matches his girlfriend's yellow. When Emma approaches their table to greet them, they both scan her form and a smile spreads across their faces.

"Wow, Emma, you look beautiful!" Mary Margaret compliments, almost smitten by her attire, while David nods vigorously next to her.

"Yep" he says and Emma chuckles.

"So eloquent"

"Hey!" he protests "Do you want to get me in trouble with my girlfriend?" he pulls Mary Margaret closer into him.

"Fair point"

They choose to remain standing for a while, talking to people from their department and David's friends from security. 

At some point Emma gets bored, eyes darting over the room in search of a specific brunette. 

Her world stops the minute she lays her eyes on Regina Mills. As if she's not breathtakingly beautiful enough in her day to day life, she has managed to do the impossible and look even more gorgeous tonight. Emma's eyes drink in the sight as if she’s gulping water after five days in the dessert. Her royal blue dress reaches her neck, a patch of fabric missing in her chestal area, revealing an ample, deep cleavage. The dress is skin-tight, hugging her in all the right places. Emma swallows hard. 

_Lord have mercy._

In that moment Regina and Emma lock eyes. Moments later the brunette’s eyes descend lower, just like Emma’s had done minutes prior. The gaze traveling all over her body makes Emma’s hair stand on end. Focusing on Regina’s neck, Emma spots an action of repetitive swallowing. She knows that feeling rather well, trying to get the lump there to disappear to no avail. When Regina looks back up her expression is almost predatory. Licking her lips, the brunette smirks, making Emma’s knees weak. It's unbelievable the effect this woman has on her, even from across the room.

Regina starts heading towards Emma’s whereabouts but is stopped last minute by Kathryn who whispers something in her ear. Regina nods and sends one last look her way, a silent promise. _L_ _ater_.

The ceremony, if you can call it that, seems to drag on and on. Starting with all the heads of each department congratulating their employees on another great year, and followed by Henry and Cora Mills wishing everyone a lovely evening. Then, there's a slide show, starters, more talking, main course and then they play a collage of pictures while mentioning the company's recent achievements. 

Regina has her eyes on Emma the entire time, making the blonde excited and nervous at the same time. She sighs in relief when they put on some music and people start making their way to the dance floor.

Her boss seems to run out of patience, when she abruptly rises from her chair and struts to Emma’s table.

"Emma, I need your help with the lottery list"

The company arranged a lottery between this year’s most excellent workers, in which the winner gets a weekend in Miami. Emma has no idea what help Regina could possibly need regarding that lottery, the lists are long ready. But she gets up anyway and follows her boss as she rushes towards the private room.

Once she makes it there Regina is nowhere to be seen. Assuming the brunette is already inside, Emma knocks on the door once before opening it and stepping inside. 

She doesn’t get the chance to make it further into the room when Regina steps into her personal space as she pushes the door closed behind her. With one hand on each side, the brunettes traps her against the hard surface, and soon Emma is engulfed in Regina’s intoxicating scent. Regina looks her straight in the eye, the proximity and intimacy this moment creates makes Emma’s heart race inside her rib-cage.

Their little stare-off is broken when Regina places her forehead on Emma's shoulder. Her face ghosts over Emma's neck, lips skimming over her exposed skin, turning Emma into a heavily breathing mess. With her head leaning back on the wall and her eyes closed, Emma finds out that she can’t even form a single coherent thought, let alone voice it. 

"Emma" Regina breathes into her neck as her strong hands rest on her hips. The hot breaths hitting the sensitive skin making Emma's knees buckle.

"Mhm?" she deems it to be the safest and most reliable response she can provide, considering Regina’s proximity. 

"I can't.” Regina sighs, her head shaking just a little “I know we said we'll be friends for now, but-" she talks into her skin, creating toe-curling vibrations that almost make Emma lose her footings.

"I can't" she repeats, more forcefully than before "I just need to-- more, I need to touch you" the brunette’s obvious attempt of self-control and evident desperation make Emma soft inside. It’s an unbelievable concept for Emma to wrap her head around, the fact that Regina might want her, like she wants Regina. "I know we agreed on nothing for now, but-"

"Fine" She whispers, desperately, almost inaudibly.

"Fine?" Regina's confusion is easily detected, even when her face is still buried in her skin.

Fighting the lump in her throat, Emma rasps out

"Kiss me" 


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

 

Regina doesn't need to be told twice and plump lips soon meet with hers. 

It's passionate, intense and slow all at the same time. Almost as if Regina keeps in mind that this is indeed their first kiss, cherishing Emma. What starts as small light pecks, soon turns deeper as soft lips move sensually and firmly against one another. Regina squeezes Emma’s hips, pressing her harder against the door, and the action makes Emma lightheaded. Their kiss deepens, but being the perfect lady that she always is, Regina doesn't use tongue and it drives Emma crazy. She teases her with a few last kisses on the corner of her lips before stepping back.

"Wow" is all Emma can manage to breathe out, looking at Regina as she cleans the smudged lipstick off of her chin and the sides of her mouth. 

"Sorry" the brunette says, eventually.

"What for?" 

Regina smiles at that reply. She walks towards Emma and presses a chaste kiss on her lips before pulling away. "Nothing, I guess" she shrugs, eyes sparkling.

As if just realizing where they are, Regina puts her mask back on and glances at the watch.

"Emma, we need to get back now"

"Okay…"

"We will talk about this" she determines and exits the room.

Thankfully, the bathrooms are not too far from the office and so Emma makes a bee line to the ladies room. A quick glance at herself in the mirror is enough for the blonde to realize that unlike Regina, who jumped right back to business as if nothing happened, Emma looks disheveled. If she’s being accurate, with her heaving chest, glossy eyes and flushed face, she looks exactly like a woman who just had a make out session.

Involuntarily, her mind takes her back to their shared kissed. She almost had an out-of-body experience. The way Regina's hands felt on her hips, securing her tightly, her intoxicating scent and the softness of her lips; all of those made Emma feel like she never experienced life properly before. Even sex had never felt so, so… pleasurable, which sounds nuts considering that it’s significantly more intimate and therefore bound to be more enjoyable than mere kisses, but somehow it’s not. 

It scares Emma, wanting someone that bad, but at the same time she can’t help but determine that the price is so worth the risk. It was so naive of her to think the two of them could be just friends and nothing more. She's drawn to Regina from day one, and if judging by her actions today, Regina wants her too.

The door opens abruptly, the noise making Emma jump.

"Jesus, Mary Margaret"

The brunette winces "Sorry". 

She makes her way into one of the stools and Emma uses the time to try and disguise the fact that she just made out with her boss, their boss. Her eyes widen with realization. 

No one can know about this. 

She is going to have to talk to Regina, since in case they do get discovered the one losing her job would be Emma, and she can't afford that.

She hears the water flush and takes one last look in the mirror; she looks fine. 

"So where were you?" Mary Margaret asks as she approaches the sink.

"With Regina, in the office"

"Yeah I saw, but what were you doing? I mean, you and I, we've gone over that list at least three times"

"I know" _think fast Swan_ "apparently there were problems with the lists that were sent to us" she scratches the back of her neck "some people were accidentally left out and some unrelated people were put in instead. We just had to make sure we had everything right."

She sighs in relief when the brunette nods at the lie as if it’s the utter truth. 

"And did we?"

"What?"

"Get everything right?"

"Oh, yes, yes, no mistakes."

"Cool"

  


***

  


Half of the people are on the dance floor by the time they come out. Emma doesn't dance unless she’s absolutely comfortable, which she definitely isn’t considering the crowed. 

She follows Mary Margaret to the bar and orders a nice peachy cocktail. Being at the _freaking_ Four Seasons hotel guarantees amazing food, and the drinks don’t disappoint either.

They watch everybody dance and babble about all kinds of things. Emma hasn’t been in a good mood lately, though that definitely changed tonight, and Mary Margaret seems to notice. They are good friends and she looks genuinely happy to see Emma out of the blues she had been in for the last couple of weeks and intends to make the best out of it. They joke and laugh while moving to a second cocktail.

Paul from sales stops by, adorably trying to mumble a request to dance with Emma. She lets it go on for about half a minute, then she puts him out of his misery, telling him that she doesn't dance. He looks a little disappointed at her answer, but she is quick to promise that in a hypothetical world, he would totally be the guy she would dance with; and that statements seems to brighten his mood.

He sticks around for a while, mainly talking to Mary Margaret when Emma zones out.

She has been, as low-key as possible, following Regina the entire evening, watching her talk to the workers, chastise the hotel workers for some mistake (that one makes Emma chuckle) and finally, with her family. 

Emma had only seen them on paper or online up until that moment, but they look pretty much the same. Zelena with her bright red hair all tangled up in a messy bun, dressed in a flowy green dress that reminds Emma of ancient Greece. Cora apparently was there only to make an appearance, and left shortly after the ceremony ended. And then there was Henry Mills, who keeps by his daughters’ side most of the evening and greets every employee that approaches him with a firm handshake and a kind smile. This is a man who grew up with a different status that he has now. Emma can tell that just by the way he treats everyone around him, like equals. His suit serves to strengthen that statement: a three-piece suit, very dignified but simple, nonetheless. The fact that this man can afford any suit and he chooses to go with the minimum required, indicates a non-materialistic man; so different from his ex-wife.

Emma jumps way ahead, despite warning herself not to, and tries to imagine meeting them. She is pretty sure Henry will be warm and accepting, but Zelena and Cora, probably not so much. She will cross the bridge once she gets to it. Upon realizing her train of thoughts and where it’s headed, she shakes her head in dismissal, snorting at her presumptuous thoughts. 

The music changes, the party ‘hits’ replaced with a classical tune. 

Henry takes Regina's hands and leads her to the center of the dance floor. They dance beautifully, in such synchrony that everybody in the room can tell they’ve been doing it for quite a long time. He spins Regina away, then grabs her, pulls her closer, only to send her away again. They’re quick and graceful and the smiles on their faces, especially the one on Regina’s face, leave Emma helpless to the way her face lights up to match her boss’s. The brunette moves closer to her father, places a hand on his shoulder as the keep moving, gliding, across the floor. Emma watches shamelessly, eyes on Regina the entire time as she dares to picture herself in her boss’s arms.

And then, of course, someone has to disturb.

"Hello there, Swan" Killian whistles and her eyes roll on their own record. _N_ _ot that idiot again_. 

"Drinking alone, I see?" he asks, his head tilting to signal for the recently evacuated stool.

After David finished mingling with his buddies he poached Mary Margaret and lead her to the dance floor. Emma didn't mind at all, it gave her more space to shamelessly stalk Regina. 

When she doesn’t answer his question, he smirks "If you drink alone you die alone"

"Great" she responds mockingly, her voice laced with feigned excitement "wouldn’t want anyone in my grave with me, it's a tight space already." 

Killian doesn't seem fazed by the hostile response, in fact he seems to like it.

"How about a dance then?" he asks, his annoying self-assured expression still firmly intact.

"I don't dance"

"A drink then?" he retorts, apparently amused by this whole ordeal. 

She lifts her cocktail, barely sparing him a glance "Already got one"

Bored with their conversation, she scans the dance floor in search of her boss. She almost bursts out laughing when she catches the deadly look Regina sends Killian's way. It almost looks like she is sending death curses his way, Emma notes to herself amusedly, as she internally urges the brunette to _not_ make a scene. 

_Be rational_ , she tries to telepath Regina, _I'll deal with_ _him._

"Playing it hard to get, huh?"

"Have you considered the possibility that maybe, just maybe, I'm not interested?" she huffs in exasperation, she’s had enough.

"Unlikely"

"Ugh" she makes a disgusted sound "you're so full of yourself, I suggest you get off that high horse you’re on, not all the girls want you. And me? For sure not interested, so back off" she ends the sentence with a shoo motion and he arches his eyebrows, amused. When seconds tick by and she shows no signs of breaking her demeanor with a _just kidding, come here,_ he deflates.

"Not over yet" he mumbles before making his way to the tables’ area.

She sends a small smile Regina’s way, hoping it would send the message and calm her down.

  


***

  


The party is almost over when Mary Margaret approaches her and claims that Kathryn has requested to see them. What for, Emma has no idea.

They enter the office, finding Kathryn and Regina already there.

Kathryn smiles at them and gestures towards the sofa, for them sit down, and they obey.

She clasps her hands together "Girls, I would like to thank you for your efforts in the past few weeks. We can all agree that this party was a huge success, everything ran smoothly and it was, overall, the best party we've organized in the past few years. So, thank you."

They both mumble a shy _thank you_ , uncomfortable with the praises. 

Mary Margaret and Kathryn both bid them goodbye and leave the room, Emma is about to do the same when she’s stopped by Regina.

"How do you plan on getting home?" the brunette asks, and Emma so wants to roll her eyes but she gets the feeling that it will get her in a lot of trouble if she follows through with it.

"A cab, I guess" she shrugs in response.

"Let me give you a ride home" she suggests, and Emma opens her mouth to object when she adds "Please"

She deflates, how can she say no to this beautiful woman who's asking so nicely.

"Fine" she huffs "just this time" she warns but Regina is too damn pleased with herself to care.

They walk to the parking lot and Emma needs to stop her jaw from hitting the ground when she sees Regina's car. A C7 Audi jeep, shiny black and it looks like it was just bought. Once again, the self-doubt creeps in and echoes through her head _you are not good enough._ While she tries to ignore it, her silence draws Regina’s attention.

"Emma?"

"What are you doing with me?"

The older woman frowns, obviously not following Emma’s line of thought "What do you mean?" 

She thinks, just for a second, to utter some kind of excuse and not open _this_ conversation in a deserted parking lot, but the words flow out of her mouth before she can help it. "You’re so out of my league, why are settling on me when you can do _so_ much better?"

Regina looks speechless just for a second, then her gaze turns determined when she says "I am not settling and I am definitely not out of your league" she examines Emma carefully, then looks back to her vehicle, probably trying to understand why things had suddenly gone south "Is it because of my car? My money?"

Emma wants to say _of course not_ , but ends up blurting out "Well, it's part of it; as well as your success, your looks, your skills, your beautiful personality, everything. You are the definition of success, the definition of perfection. I'm a stray, I have no skills, no money, no grace, I have nothing to offer you. Why are you interested in me?"

Regina shakes her head in disbelief, trying to wrap her head around that ridiculous conception "Wow, wow, wow. First of all, I don't want you to ever think that, ever. You are so smart and resourceful, you have so much power and determination, you fight for what you want. And you are honest, straightforward, and you don't take shit from anyone, and, god,” she sighs “it's _so_ refreshing; especially after so many years of being around pretense and hypocrisy. You are real, and you are beautiful and humble and hard working."

She takes a step forward and grabs both of Emma’s hands, squeezing tight.

"Your only flaw is that, for some reason, you don't see yourself like you should, like I see you." Her brown chocolate eyes shine with mirth when she adds "Well, that and being too pretty, I'm going to have to fight people off of you with a stick."

Emma can't stop the smile that blossoms at the other woman’s words "Jealous?" she teases and Regina's smile disappears completely, her eyes though are still playful when she whispers threateningly-

"I'll have you know that I'm very possessive. Nobody touches what's mine."

"And I'm yours?" she fills in, rolling her eyes at the absurdity of their conversation.

"Definitely" Regina determines with confidence, and to prove her point she pulls Emma into a short yet heated kiss that leaves Emma craving for more.

"And don't ever talk about yourself like that again" she warns, her face still to darn close for Emma to think straight. Not that she would want _that_.

"We'll see" Emma feigns indecisiveness, chuckling when Regina slaps her shoulder lightly. 

They stand there, holding hands, eyes locked when Regina finally utters out-

"Let me take you out on a date" she half asks half demands and Emma shakes her head.

"Nah ha, it's my turn"

  



	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 

Emma scrolls down her contact list. 

This is a bad idea. 

She drops the phone and takes another bite of her makeshift breakfast. No, it has to be him. She picks it up again and finds his name on the list, her thumb millimeters away from pressing the screen and make the call. She chews her lip as she contemplates her options; this could be either the best decision she has made or an utter disaster. 

_Oh, fuck it!_

She presses the call button before she has a chance to change her mind. She can hear it ringing, almost hangs up relieved, when his raspy voice fills her ears.

"Hello?" he questions and only then it occurs to Emma that he might be sleeping. 

_Oops_.

"Peter?"

"Yes?"

"Hey, it's Emma"

There a small pause "Oh, hi"

"Did I wake you up?"

"Err, that's okay, I need to be up anyway"

"Oh, okay. Sorry about that"

"No problems"

"I kinda need your help with something"

"Shoot"

This is a dumb idea, he will tell Ruby for sure, and then Ruby will find out and everything will go to hell. She should've just thought about something else herself. 

The problem is, anything that money can buy, Regina can afford. Whether it is a fancy restaurant or a play on Broadway, she has seen better and done better. She can take Regina to the best sushi place in town and Regina had probably eaten the best in the country. Emma can't compete with her money, so she needs to come up with something else, she needs to go for an experience. That's why the blonde has to find a creative way to show Regina something different, that she has never seen before. 

When Emma tried to figure out what she should do, she recalled that day she had first met David; they were sitting in a beautiful place, that might be public area, but not a lot of people knew about it. Regina is not the one who goes around and looks for hiding spots and special places, she probably tells her secretary to book a table at the best place and that's it. So all Emma has to do is to find a secret haven in the city and work her way from there.

That was when she remembered Peter and Ruby's anniversary. It was months ago, not long after she met Ruby, but the brunette blabbered on and on about it weeks after. Emma didn't remember in details what happened that night but she did remember Ruby telling her about some kind of rooftop, one that overlooks the entire city. Thinking about it know, it seems like the perfect spot; Regina told her once that she has lived in that city for years and yet she still feels like she has never really seen it. Besides, they would be alone, which means privacy. And the food, she can just cook something nice and bring it with her. She is sure Regina will appreciate the effort more than the actual food.

This is really the best she can come up with, so despite being afraid of getting discovered, she is going to ask Peter for help and hope that he won't spill the beans.

"I need a favor, but I need you to promise me you won't say a word to Ruby."

"Okay, but why don't you want me to tell Ru-"

"And you can't ask me anything 'cause it's a secret" she winces as she adds another demand. Why would he want to help her when she won't tell him a single thing? She puts all of her hopes on his sleepy state.

"Err, okay, I guess?"

"Good!" she lets out a relieved breath "I need you to tell me exactly what you did with Ruby on your anniversary. In detail."

  


***

  


She still has a couple of hours before her shift starts so she hops on a subway heading downtown. After one switch and a couple of minutes on foot, she reaches the building. Like Peter had warned her she finds that the building is no longer under construction, like it was back then, but luckily, it doesn’t look not populated. 

The back door to the staircase is locked. Emma takes a quick look at it and smirks. _A_ _piece of cake_. She ducks down and in an easy set of movements unlocks the door. She stands up grinning, looks like she still got it. 

She climbs up the stairs and she reaches the rooftop, welcomed by a fairly strong breeze. She takes a look around and nods to herself. This will definitely do. 

She fishes her phone out of her pants and dials Regina, whose number she now has.

The brunette picks up after a couple of rings.

"Mills" she says with a blank, almost bored sounding, voice. If Emma has to guess she will say Regina didn't even bother looking at the caller ID.

"Hi, it's Emma"

"Emma" she can hear the older woman’s voice come to life and a smile blooms on her face at that "How are you?"

"I'm good. I wanted to know if you would like to go out with me tomorrow?" despite knowing the answer to that question already, Emma still bites her lip in anticipation.

"I would love to. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise"

"Ugh" the brunette huffs and Emma chuckles, practically seeing the woman’s eye roll.

"Will you at least give me a hint?"

"Nope"

"So how would I know what to wear?"

"Something comfortable" 

A grunt is heard through the phone and the blonde bites her lips to stop herself from snorting. Her amusement with Regina’s apparent frustration wouldn’t be accepted nicely by the brunette.

"Emma…" she warns, trailing off, letting the silence do the threatening.

"We will have to arrive together, since you don't know where it is…" Emma continues as if she hasn't heard Regina’s protests.

"Would you like to use my car?" Regina asks after a short pause. Emma scratches her neck. God, she _hate_ _s_ asking things from people, but taking two subways on a date is less than ideal.

"If that's okay with you" she finally utters out, entirely uncomfortable and even embarrassed for having to ask that from Regina when it was supposed to be _her_ turn to plan a date.

"Absolutely, what time shall I pick you up?"

Picking Emma up? there’s no way. That’s way too much.

"Oh no no, I will come to you and we'll drive from there."

"Emma, don’t you even go there, I'm coming to pick you up or you can consider the entire thing canceled." Regina argues, her tone dead serious. Emma has a feeling that picking that fight will be a wrong move. She sighs in defeat.

"Fine…" she mumbles "I'll text you my address"

"Good, is seven okay?"

"Perfect"

"I'll see you tomorrow, then"

"Sure, goodbye."

"Goodbye"

Having the annual party that weekend, Emma scheduled only one shift at the restaurant, leaving her completely free on Saturday morning. She uses that time to make sure she has anything she needs to make that date worthy.

  


***

  


Emma has been standing just outside her building since a quarter to seven. Already uncomfortable with the whole getting picked up ordeal, Emma decided the least she could do was make sure she isn't keeping the brunette waiting in case the woman decides to arrive early. Ruby spotted her while on her short break and stepped outside to wait with her friend. Emma told her there’s a surprise party for one of her colleagues in hope to avoid questions. Luckily for her, it worked.

Ruby is in the midst of telling her about this new, weird foreign costumer who keeps dipping his burger in the coke thinking it's some type of cookie, when a black jeep makes a turn to their street.

"That's my ride" she say in between chuckles and lifts her large backpack.

"Wow" Ruby whistles, impressed, and Emma nods in agreement.

"Told you I stick out like a sore thumb there" she shrugs and Ruby steals another look at the shiny car.

"Yeah, I see what you mean now. Well," she turns fully to Emma and gives her a bear hug "Have fun and talk to me if you don't finish up late, we can catch a movie or something."

"You got it" she says and starts advancing towards the car, already close enough to see Regina inside.

"Bye" Ruby calls and Emma lifts her hand as a goodbye.

"Hey" she greets when she enters the vehicle.

"Hello" Regina returns immediately but she still looks a little distracted. Emma follows her line of sight, catching Ruby just as she disappears behind the glass door to Granny's.

"What?" she asks eventually upon spotting Regina’s curious looks. It’s obvious the woman wants to ask something and yet is stopped by her ridiculous 18th century type of manners.

"Who is she?" Regina gestures with her head towards the entrance of the dinner.

"Oh, that's Ruby"

"As in your friend Ruby?"

"That's her"

"Mmm" the brunette hums, her face blank as she keeps staring ahead to where Ruby is currently at.

"Is there something wrong?" Emma inquires, gaze alternating between the two brunettes.

"I don't like her" Regina determines at last, turning to look at Emma when the latter lets out a snort.

"Why? You haven't even met her" she reasons, eyes on Regina’s blank expression as she tries to figure out what it is that bothers her.

"Still" the brunette insists and she looks like a petulant child at that moment.

"Are you jealous?" Emma jokes, halting when Regina says nothing in return, realizing that this is _exactly_ what it is "You _are_ jealous" she determines, too amused for her own good. Regina’s so far neutral features contort for a millisecond, then she has her expression back under control. But Emma, with her full attention on her date, catches the fleeting emotion that had just passed there seconds ago.

"I am definitely not."

"She is just my friend, you know...” Emma provides, a smirk splayed on her face when she adds “So what if she is tall and insanely beautiful…" she teases, and isn’t surprised in the slightest when Regina slaps her on the shoulder "I'm kidding," she says quickly and grabs Regina's chin until the other woman is facing her. "I have eyes for one brunette only" she whispers, their lips inches apart.

"You do?" Regina breathes out, her tone breathless.

"I do," Emma confirms firmly and moves to plaster a small peck on Regina’s lips. Leaning back in her chair, she smirks "Her name is Lindsey, she serves me coffee every day and I'm into her for months now…"

Regina shoots daggers at her, making Emma laugh loudly. The brunette shakes her head and hits the gas pedal while mumbling _idiot_.

  


***

  


"Now take a left here" she instructs when they reach the turn.

Regina turns to look at her "Are we going to Brooklyn?" she asks and Emma motions a key with her hand, twists it near her lips and throws it away. When Regina huffs at the act she adds:

"Stop trying to guess, I'm not telling you anything"

Regina grunts, but takes the turn.

  


***

  


Regina locks the car and catches up to Emma.

"We're almost there" she assures. 

She can spot the building already, but she keeps quiet about it, opting on keeping it a surprise as long as she can manage. Plus, it's just too damn fun to tease Regina like that.

They make it to the back door and Emma reaches for her desk pins.

"Are we even allowed to be here?"

She bends down and starts playing with the lock "Stop asking questions, this is my date, go with it." She half urges half commands, seconds later the familiar clicking sound is heard and the door opens.

They start climbing up the stairs.

"Is that even legal?"

"Regina" Emma sighs, rolling her eyes. _Just two more floors_ , she reminds herself, two _more floors_ _and the interrogation will be over_ "Do you trust me?" she tries.

"No" Regina is quick to respond, eliciting a snort from the blonde.

They reach the top and, as Emma expected, Regina is speechless. The view is breathtaking, especially during twilight. The entire city is splayed in front of them, clear view of the city’s skyline, a line of artistically mismatching concrete buildings. The most beautiful city in the world, surrounded by orange and red and purple, right in the moments between day and night.

"Wow" Regina lets out after a stretched, comfortable silence.

"I know," Emma agrees "Sometimes we need to get out of the city to see how lovely it is. Welcome to the best seat in the house in Brooklyn Heights." She opens her arms wide and smiles broadly.

"Emma" Regina stresses and turns to looks at her, eyes shining with what might be appreciation, but Emma can’t tell for sure. She grabs Emma’s hand, combing their fingers together and squeezing, the simple act sending shivers down the blonde’s spine and promoting a wave of warmth that settles in her chest. Oddly so, in the middle of a foreign rooftop, with her boss, whom she has known for mere months, Emma feels at home.

"Thank you,” Regina whispers “this is beautiful." she says and lays her head on Emma’s slightly taller shoulder. They remain like that, watching the sun go down. When they’re engulfed with darker shades of blue Emma shifts her head and kisses the brunette’s head, chastely, yet affectionately. 

"You're welcome"

  


***

  


The reddish view changes into dark skies and bright city lights, different but just as beautiful as its prior.

When the blanket is set, Emma starts taking out the food.

"What is it?" Regina asks when Emma places the containers on the ground.

"It's Pesto Pasta,” she provides “it's the only thing I know how to make properly." Regina lifts an eyebrow at the statements and settles on the blanket.

"What do you eat at home, then?"

"Cereal, crackers, popcorn" Emma says with a shrug, chuckling when she sees Regina's horrified expression.

"All you eat is junk?" Regina inquires incredulously.

"Basically" she answers as she sits down next the her companion.

"And you still look like that?" the brunette half asks, half states, gesturing to Emma's lean form. The blonde is dressed with her tightest, most elegant skinny jeans, paired with a thin, white sweater and short cowboy boots. Her toned physique is very easily detected in this attire.

"Yep"

Regina shakes her head in disbelief as Emma serves a hearty portion of pasta on two plates and hands one to Regina. She waits for Regina to take the first bite.

"So?" she asks when Regina swallows it, immediately dabbing the corners of her lips in an indescribable delicacy and grace.

"It's very good" the brunette says, immediately diving back in. Emma’s chest puffs out of his own accord and she stabs her fork in the green, delicious looking mountain of pasta that waits in her lap.

  


***

  


"So," Regina picks up the conversation after long moments of simply eating. "How did you learn to make this?"

Emma smiles, her gaze distant as nostalgia washes over her at the memory. 

"It was in my last house. I moved a lot as a kid but I stayed the longest, I think a little over three years, in my last one. I didn't know how to cook a single thing, even an omelet was proving a challenge.” she shakes her head in amusement at the image “We had a really nice neighbor, Senior Camerini" she says his name with a thick exaggerated Italian accent and a flair, making Regina chuckle.

"He had tons of basil in his garden. He once told me he originally wanted one plant or two, but had mistakenly planted it in the ground instead of in a flowerpot, resulting in it spreading over the years. Anyway, he had a lot more than he needed, so he gave some to me. Of course, I had no idea what to do with it and I told him that. He said it was no way for a woman not to know how to cook" she shrugs and looks at Regina "he was very old fashioned… So he taught me how to cook it until I mastered it and well, I’ve never learned anything new since." She ends up with a light chuckles. She hasn’t thought about him in a long time. He was one of the light spots in that time and she finds her spirit lifted by the fondness that memory brings.

"That's a beautiful story" Regina says, and turns to look at the amazing view in front of them. "Did you keep in touch with him?"

"Oh no no, he died the following year, cancer"

"I'm so sorry" the brunette says and places a comforting hand on her forearm.

"That's okay," Emma shrugs, trying to brush the heaviness off, not wanting it to taint the conversation "We weren't very close. Besides, you learn early on to not get attached."

"That's a tough way to live" Regina reflects quietly. 

"Well, that was my life" she sends a small smile her way. It’s such an inherent part of her life that she forgets how hard it is for people to comprehend and accept it.

"So, tell me something about you" Emma urges. She wants to know more about Regina, she realizes. She craves to.

"Where do I start?" she asks softly.

"Wherever you want"


	18. Chapter 18

_"Where do I start?" she chuckled_

_"Wherever you want_ "

* * *

 

"Well, I grew up in New York and moved to London with my mom and my sister when I was nine. My parents were in the process of divorcing. Unlike my sister, who was more attached to my mom and bloomed in London, I didn't really fit in there. I missed my dad, I missed my friends, I missed my home. It took almost five years for my mom to finally give in and send me back to my father. I was fourteen when I came back and I had to start all over again. I did the whole thing; prestigious schools, after school activities, everything you need to get into a good college. My only real choice was ballroom dancing." Regina's face lit up the moment she starts talking about it "I danced hours upon hours each week, did international contests, the entire drill."

She pauses and takes a sip of Cava from her cup "That's where I met my first boyfriend, Daniel. He was my partner and a wonderful wonderful boy. I loved him with all my heart, as a friend; but of course I didn't know that back then, and I mistaken it as romantic love. We dated all throughout high school, then college broke us apart."

"Oh"

"Don't be sad dear, we remained good friends after that. In fact, we still are. Maybe you could meet him sometime, he is a very successful editor in the New York Times. And," she adds with a smile "still quite a dancer."

"I would love to meet him" Emma responds eagerly. She would love to get to know Regina and the people around her. Every little part that Regina reveals about herself draws Emma closer. She thinks she has her all figured out and then the brunette surprises her with a whole new side of her that she didn't know before.

"Maybe you'll put on a little dance show for me?" she asks hopefully. She has no doubt Regina will be smoking hot, shaking her hips in a tiny dress. Mmm, yummy.

"We'll see. If you behave." She winks and Emma wants to roll her eyes into her head. She would never admit it out loud, but this whole side of Regina turns her own immensely. She wouldn't be surprised if the woman would like to position her on all fours and spank the attitude out of her. She closes her eyes and tries to calm down, now it's not the time for those kind of thoughts. Later, she determines, when she is in her bed.

"Anyway," Regina continues her story "As you can probably imagine, I never came across anything remotely close to liberal conceptions regarding love and attraction. My family is conservative and the possibility of girls was never presented to me.

Then I arrived to college." They both shared a sinister smile "Colombia might be prestigious and expensive but the variety is still considerably bigger and more versatile then private elite schools. Everyone experienced and so did I, only it got stuck." Emma laughs "Had my first secret girlfriend during sophomore year and we broke up eventually. Still, she holds a very special spot in my heart."

"Are you guys still in touch?"

"No"

"Good" she determines. If Regina is allowed to be jealous so does she.

"Good?" her brow arches in question. Emma nods and when Regina opens her mouth to respond she quickly plasters a peck on the side of her mouth, efficiently shutting her up.

"So…" Emma knows it's a rude question to ask but she is very curious "You're into women and men?"

Regina shakes her head "Only girls. Why bother and look at men," she cradles Emma's cheek, her thumb moving back and forth on her cheek bone "when woman are so much more beautiful?"

Emma is completely in the moment, the proximity and intensity of it makes it hard for her to think reasonably.

"Mmm" she agrees to basically nothing and Regina giggles and retrieves her hand. She takes another bite from her plate, missing Emma's pout at the lack of contact, and adds "you're too easy"

"You try and resist you" she frowns at her own stupid statement. Regina is also looking at her amused. "You know what I mean…" she tries to reason

"No idea" Regina teases and she huffs.

* * *

 

They talk for ages, about everything and nothing. Slowly sipping the Cava Emma brought along. Everything flows, the conversations are light, they connect and everything seems easy, achievable. Emma isn't familiar with easy, nothing is ever easy for her. But this is. Yes, they are worlds apart and there are a lot of gaps and obstacles to tackle but they all shrink when she looks in Regina's eyes, when she sees her smile, when she hears her laugh.

Eventually they get up. Emma's legs are completely numb and Regina squeezes them tightly, making her squeak.

"Regina!" it is so high pitched she almost sounds like a squirrel. On the other side of the spectrum Regina's laugh is located, throaty and low.

"I'm sorry, I had to"

"A sorry isn't enough," she determines with hands folded right under her chest "You need to make it up to me"

Regina feigns a thinking face and then she smiles "How about a kiss?"

Emma really tries to play it, at least a little, hard to get but finds herself enthusiastically nodding "That seems appropriate." She adds with a serious face.

"Well I don't know if appropriate is the right word here" she retorts and Emma turns slightly pink. Regina snakes her hands around her waist and draws her in. Their torsos are touching and this is the closest they've been so far. Emma closes her eyes and savor the feeling; their stomachs pressed together, chests rubbing against one another and create an, oh so wonderful, feeling. Regina's hands rest on her lower back, drawing small circles, but not lower. She can feel Regina's hot breath on her ear and in causes goosebumps.

"I love it when you blush" she nibbles on her ear lobe and Emma has to put all of her efforts on not falling apart right there "I wonder how you will look when I'll do naughtier things to you" Emma lets out a rugged breath. She doesn't get a chance to speak and Regina's lips are on hers, moving fiercely, hypnotizing her. They kiss for a long moment and Emma licks her bottom lip, asking for permission and yet again, denied. She breaks the kiss with a pout

"Regina" she whines, still catching her breath

"What?" she asks innocently but Emma can see the mischievous glint dance in her eyes.

"Tongue" she demands, but since when does Regina listen to what she wants.

"Does it annoy you?"

"Yes"

"Good" Regina smiles and it's evil. Emma huffs and tries to get out of her embrace but Regina secures her hold, tightly and effectively trapping her in. Emma had enough of her game, now she will play her own.

She goes for Regina's neck and starts kissing it. Her skin tastes like heaven and Emma is going for full coverage. She licks and nips and bites. She can hear Regina's elaborated breath

"Emma" she gasps and it goes straight to Emma's groin "You need to stop" but she doesn't stop, she continues to cherish every single piece of neck while Regina tries to free out of her embrace.

"Mmm mmm" she refuses and starts sucking one specific, very loveable, patch of skin.

"No hickys" Emma continues with determination

"Emma!" she sounds angry this time so Emma stops and lifts her head.

What a beautiful sight is laid in front of her, Regina with slightly pink cheeks, heaving and eyes glazed with pleasure. She looks angry so Emma stands still, expecting to be yelled at; but the next thing she knows, Regina is charging at her mouth, claiming it with passion and Emma can't stop her moan this time when their tongues finally clash in a beautiful dance. She maps her mouth, starting with her tongue, then teeth and ending with the roof of her mouth; which apparently is a sensitive spot since it makes Regina produce delicious sounds from the deep of her throat.

Emma tears herself away, in desperate need of air. "Damn, you're too sexy for your own good" she places her forehead against Regina's.

"You are lucky we're in public" Regina warns and her voice is raspy and dry "or else I would've thrown you on your back and have my wicked way with you until there isn't a single coherent though left in your head."

"Oh my god" Emma can feel her knees buckle under that threat, or promise, Emma has no idea which one it is "Don't say it like that"

Regina grabs her chin and kisses her again. It's still passionate but it changes from animalistic and lustful, to loving and admiring. And they kiss until they run out of air again.

"I'm going to have to discipline you, I see" she knew it! Oh god, what is waiting for her?

"What will that involve?" please say spanking, please say spanking.

Regina feigns a thinking face "Mmm, probably a lot of teasing and a lot of spanking" yes!

Emma is happy with that answer.

The leave the best seat in the house for the sake of a walk on the classic Brooklyn heights esplanade. Their hands combed together as the light breeze hits their faced and scatter their hair in the wind.

"I have to go away again this week" Regina says after a long period of silence.

Emma looks into the distance and mumbles an 'okay'. She has a lot going through her mind that moment, a conflict between wanting to know and wanting to respect Regina's privacy.

"I'm sorry" Regina ducks her head "I really want to te-"

"Tell me but you can't, I know"

"I would have loved to tell you, it's just not mine to tell."

They walk in silence, heading towards the car.

"You can call me and massage me, it won't be like last time." She promises "I'm not leaving you, it's only from Wednesday until Saturday."

"Okay"

"Are you mad?"

"No," she says after short consideration "just a little disappointed I guess"

"Please don't be" Regina begs

"I'll do my best no to"

They reach to the car and Regina turns to look at her, hands on Emma's hips. "Please don't run away with anyone while I'm gone"

"Can't promise that" she shrugs playfully and the hands holding her tighten.

"How can I persuade you?"

"Mmm let me think about that one"

Regina shakes her head with a smile on her face "Get your head out of the filthy places, no more sexual favors for you. How about we go watch a movie on Monday"

"Monday?"

"That's the day you don't work nights isn't it?"

Emma's mouth is slightly open, she doesn't know whether she should be creeped out that Regina knows or flattered that she cares and remembers.

"I, well err…" she lapses "I'm not… you know?"

The brunette chuckles "Of course I do. Now let's get you home."

* * *

 

"Good morning!" Mary Margaret greets her cheerfully as she walks in. Usually, she would get pissed at her being so happy on a Monday morning, only this time she doesn't care. Yesterday was lovely and she gets to see her favorite person again today, so really there isn't any valid reason to complain.

"Good morning" she replies with a smile. Mary Margaret seems thrilled that Emma is finally cooperating with her in the morning.

"How was your weekend?"

"Good, good" pictures from yesterday flow to her mind, their lovely date, the make out session, the earth shattering orgasm that followed at home. She can feel her cheeks heat, just thinking about it.

"How was your weekend?" she asks in an attempt to draw to focus away from her and towards Mary Margaret. The brunette seems happy to be questioned and raises her hand next her face.

"It was great"

Emma still doesn't catch the clue, so she shakes her hand and only then Emma notices the beautiful diamond ring decorating her hand.

"You got engaged?" she asks with an enormous amount of excitement.

"I did!" Mary Margaret nods so enthusiastically, it's a wonder how her head stays connected to the rest of her body.

"Congratulations!" she closes the distance and hugs her tightly.

She can hear a muffled 'thank you' and she keeps holding strong. She is so happy for them; Mary Margaret and David are such wonderful human beings, alone and combined and they would make a lovely married couple.

"Let me see that ring" she demands and Mary Margaret happily obliges. The ring isn't enormous but it is beautifully designed and it fits Mary Margaret perfectly; tiny, unique and extremely shiny. "Gorgeous" she determines after a quick check.

"Why, thank you" the brunette smiles proudly.

"We should go celebrate!"

"Sure"

"How about Friday?"

"Sounds good!"

"Great, now tell me everything, how did he proposed?"


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, go check out my new story 'Golden'. It's a swanqueen story based in the Olympics :)

"So, what movie are we watching?" Emma asks as soon as she got into the cab.

Regina clasps her hands together "Okay, so here's the thing is…"

"What did you do?" Emma turns to look at her. She better not be taking her to some fancy-pants-super date, 'cause she will be mad. As well as the fact that she is definitely not dressed for a date; with her skinny jeans and tight revealing blouse.

"Well," she looks at her apologetically "movie seemed too simple"

"Regina" she sighs.

"I'm making it up to you, it has to be better than just a movie." She determines.

"Where are going then?"

"Remember what I told you on our first dinner? Right before you ran into the bathroom?" she chuckles, recalling Emma's panic from a simple compliment.

"That I should smile more?"

"Exactly" she confirms and waits for Emma to catch on.

"Are we going to a stand-up comedy?" she asks with excitement.

"We are" Regina confirms with a smile.

"Yes!" she pumps her fist in the air and Regina seems satisfied. "Who?"

"Who do you think?" when Emma looks at her quizzically she helps her out "Who do you like the most?"

"Amy Schumer?"

Regina nods and she can't believe; she can't believe that someone cares about her like that, she can't believe that someone listens to her when she babbles about her likes and dislikes. She turns to hug Regina, trapping her in a bear hug. Regina pats on her back reassuringly.

"You welcome" she whispers in her ear before she even gets the chance to thank her properly, so she kisses her instead; short and quick but filled with emotions, emotions she can't express out loud yet. Emma breaks the hug

"How did you get tickets? She's like sold out for months"

Regina smirks "I have my methods"

When they arrive and a butler leads them through a different passage, Emma understands that it is not a typical seat. Of course, she is proven right, when they enter a private booth.

"Regina, this is too much." She looks down at the people taking their seats in the common area. Regina snakes her hands around her waist and hugs her from behind.

"I have a lot of time, energy and means and I like to spend them on people I care about. Get used to being spoiled." She drops feather light kisses behind her ears.

Emma puts her hands on the top of Regina's and squeezes them.

"Thank you" she understands now, that she can't fight it. Just like she wants to spoil and care for Regina, the brunette's wants to do the same and trying to stop her will only cause arguments; arguments in which she will probably lose, 'cause honestly despite her feminine choice of clothing, Regina is the one wearing the pants here.

"You are very welcome"

They sit down when the lights dim out. Emma immediately goes for the brunette's hand and Regina accepts her willingly.

"It's my first time"

Regina's eyebrows shot up in surprise "Really?"

Emma shrugs in response. She had a poor life, no one in foster care is really about giving the kids anything more than necessary.

"Another first for us I guess," Regina kisses the back of her hand and smile at her "One of many"

And just like that, her spirits are up again. A moment later, Amy Schumer steps in.

* * *

 

"Do you want one?"

"No thank you"

Regina is looking at her, silently judging

"What?" she questions, her mouth still half full from her last bite.

"How many did you eat?"

Emma looked at the plastic plate in her hand and shrugged "four or five croissants, why?"

Regina shakes her head in disbelief "How do you manage to eat that much garbage and still look like that is a mystery to me"

They were leaving a large conference meeting of the finance department. It was Wednesday and the night before Emma worked extremely late which resulted in her missing her alarm and having to skip breakfast. The large meeting, as expected, couldn't exist without some kind of food; whether it's pastries or snacks. Of course there was no one happier than Emma when she saw the large mountains of hot, delicious pastries. She munched her way through the meeting and since there was plenty left, she took some to munch on her way back to the office.

"I'm hungry" she claims as if she's been starved for days now.

"You are going to get a stomach ache" Regina warns just as they reach the office

Emma bursts out laughing "Yeah right"

Regina takes a quick look at the clock and her face crumble. Emma follows her line of sight

"You're going now?"

"I'm afraid so"

Emma takes a quick scan around, they are alone. She squeezes Regina's arm lightly and drops her hand.

"Have a safe flight. Let me know once you've landed and please text me while you're there, it's going to get very boring in here."

Regina shots her a comforting smile "I will, I promise. Call me if you need something okay?"

"Sure. When are you coming back?"

"Well it's a red eye so I guess I'll be back in New York Saturday morning."

"Alright cool, call once you land here too."

"I will"

Emma so wanted to kiss Regina goodbye that moment but she didn't. She couldn't, not when they're here, in the office. She could see the same thought passing through Regina's head and she shrugged as a response. Regina smiled sadly and got into her office. A couple of minutes later she left the floor with a suitcase in hand.

* * *

 

 

"Please Emma!"

"No, I said no"

"Come on"

"You're going to scar her"

"Oh shut up, I'm sure she wouldn't mind" Ruby reasoned on the other side of the line "just ask her, if she says no, then I'll drop it."

"You know what? Fine, wait a sec and I'll text her" Emma counted two minutes "she says she thought it was just me and her and she prefers it that way. She says she would love to on another time though."

"Emma you're mother fucking lying, don't you think I know you already?" she yelled and Emma pushed the phone away from her ear to prevent permanent damage. "I bet you didn't even ask her."

Emma sighed. Honestly, after working all day and then staying up to receive Regina's call, she didn't have much energy left. Of course that wasn't enough and Thursday kicked her ass too. Stephan called and begged her to back him up on a night event. He never asked her to before, despite it being a deal sweetener she added, so she was left with no choice but to agree. The event went on and on and the costumers were a pain in the ass and she ended up getting home well past midnight, only to get up to work the next day. She hoped they could do something chill today, go for a movie and sit in a coffee shop somewhere, 'cause still, this is Mary Margaret we're talking about. Putting Ruby in the mix guarantees multiple drinks, loud music and late curfews. She doesn't have what it takes to make it through a 'Ruby night' and still be up pretty early tomorrow. Yes it is weekend and she works the evening shift but she still has to do groceries shopping and clean her place a little bit and be up early enough to receive Regina's call. But ruby is her friend and she never gets to see her anymore and it's one hundred percent Emma's fault

"Fine" she relents "but nothing too crazy, not too many drinks and we're not partying until four in the morning. Am I clear?" Emma uses her stern tone, anything less than that would only cause Ruby to laugh.

"Deal" Ruby was so excited to be included that she didn't even bother negotiating those terms. She will do it later though, with drinks in hand and a begging smile and Emma will relent, like she always does.

"Okay, now let me go and take a shower"

"Bye"

Emma let herself soak in the hot water, she closed her eyes and willed her sore muscles to loose a little. When she came out, wrapped only in towels, she checked her phone out of habit; a habit she picked since Regina flew away. As expected, there was a massage from minutes prior.

 **Regina** \- Doing anything special today?

 **Swan** \- Yes, I'm going out with Mary Margaret to celebrate her engagement. Though I planned on something calm but Ruby literally pushed herself in and we will probably go late night partying somewhere.

 **Regina** \- I see, and you don't want to go out with Ruby?

Emma smiled to herself. 'Wouldn't you like that?'

 **Swan** \- I do want to go out with her, I'm just extremely exhausted and I don't feel like drinking and partying and shoving people off of me until three in the morning.

Emma set on her bed and waited for a reply. A second later her phone started buzzing

"Hello?"

"Hey" she could here Regina's tired tone through the line.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, you?"

"As well"

There was a long moment of silence

"You called…" Emma tried to coax whatever is bothering Regina out of her. Harder to do on the phone but still.

"Oh yes" she took a deep breath "It is not a conversation I wanted to make over the phone from miles away but I…" Emma could mentally see her chewing her bottom lip.

"Yes?"

"Well the thing is," she paused and started again "I want us to be exclusive."

There was a silent moment before the brunette continued "I know we haven't talked about what we are yet and haven't defined anything but I just wanted to say my side; which is that I'm not interested in dating anyone but you and I want you to know, that if it is okay with you, I'd like for us, whatever that this is, to be exclusive." Since no response came she went on "When you texted me about shoving people off all I could think of is people hitting on you and I don't want them to, I want you to myself Emma."

Damn Regina and her name thing again. Honestly, it has never occurred to Emma to date anybody else but she did appreciate hearing that from Regina, hearing that Regina wants Emma to herself.

"Okay" she finally speaks and Regina grabs it like a life savior

"Okay?"

"We're exclusive" she says and it finally sinks in, she is exclusively dating Regina Mills. A smile spreads quickly on her face, almost hurting her from being so wide.

She can hear the relived sigh from the other line "Good"

Emma looks at the clock and does the math in her head "Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't it like extremely late now?"

"It is, it's the middle of the night here."

"Please go to sleep. And don't worry" she adds "I'm not going to make out with someone while you're gone. When you're back though, that's a whole different story" she jokes

"Emma" Regina warns and she giggles

"Good night Regina"

"Good night"

She drops the phone and starts to get ready, not before texting to Mary Margaret and letting her know Ruby is joining them. No need to say that Mar Margaret happily accepts the new addition to their girl's night.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For someone who thought they wouldn't make it past chapter 5 at best, I'm pretty damn proud of myself! And although it's already chapter 20, let me tell you that things only get more interesting from here and we're not nearly over.

Surprisingly so, Ruby didn't manage to frighten Mary Margaret away. In fact, they seemed to get along just fine.

Ruby didn't go crazy and chose the Pit Stop dance-bar again. They drank cocktails and not shots, well maybe like two shots. This was a 'music through time' themed party and it was as great as it gets; it started with old school hits and made its way through the different decades. They danced for hours straight just because every time they decided to take a break, another great song was on and they quickly made their way back to the dance floor.

Mary Margaret started slow with the whole party dance thing but Ruby quickly helped adjust and by the end of the evening Mary Margaret was dancing her ass off. Learning from past experience, Emma opted on short clothes. It might still be chilly at nights outside but inside the club it's insanely hot. She went for high waisted cut-offs and a cropped (spaghetti) top. It was extremely comfortable but at the same time it attracted insane amount of guys. There were ass touching, hips grabbing, dancing close from behind; you know, the life of a girl just trying to have fun. Needless to say all the drinks were bought for her. They were consistent but so did Emma. After the talk with Regina all she could think of is how excited she is that Regina wants her and her only.

When they left the party the bouncer stopped to give them their photo magnets. Apparently, Emma's choice of clothes attracted the photographer as well and he took numerous pictures of her; some just her dancing, some talking to men, some hugging Ruby and Mary Margaret and some of her behind. Emma rolled her eyes but took those regardless. Despite them being extremely objectifying, the photographer did manage to capture moments with added value to them. Some were what Emma likes to call 'Happiness pictures' where you could clearly see that the picture is one hundred percent real and honest and the happiness was just caught in a frame by luck; as if you pressed pause on life for second. Her refrigerator is empty anyway, so why not hang these pictures up there?

When Emma arrived home it wasn't as late as she expected, but it was already early Saturday. She hit the mattress with a happy sigh. She put her alarm on, in case she over sleeps and dropped him on the floor next to her bed. She turned off the light and soon enough sleep took over. Finally.

* * *

 

It was late morning when Emma finally dragged her lazy ass out of her apartment. It was warmer than usual outside and she didn't have any power to try and find something else to wear; yesterday's outfit will do. She stopped at the bakery to buy freshly baked bread that smelled divine and then walked another block towards the groceries store. She fished out her list and started piling up the items. She hasn't gone shopping in almost three weeks and her kitchen was practically empty. She was putting two cartoons of milk in her cart when her back jeans pocket started buzzing.

"Hello?"

"Emma?"

"Regina, how was your flight?" she was happy to hear the brunette's voice again but there was no way of ignoring how exhausted she sounded.

"Decent"

Emma waited a short moment, when nothing else was added she took charge

"Is everything okay?"

"Not really"

"Okay, what can I do?"

Small pause, the brunette probably chewing her lips again.

"Can I come over? Just for a short while of course" she added quickly

"Absolutely, where are you now?"

"At the airport. You?"

"I'm at the groceries store, do you want me to pick something up for you?"

"No thank you, I'm good"

"Okay, I'm finishing up here soon, feel free to stop by whenever you want."

"Thank you"

"No problem"

Emma picked up her speed and added the ingredients needed for pesto pasta, just in-case Regina got hungry.

She arrived home and quickly started organizing the apartment. It only then occurred to her that this is the first time for any of them, seeing the other person's house. Still, there was no doubt in her mind that her place looks like a dumpster in comparison to Regina's place; so she picked up all clothes and shoved them in her closet, organized the kitchen and emptied the sink of its dirty, days old, dishes. She put on a pot with the pesto sauce in the making on the stove and quickly cleaned every surface in the apartment with her one and only rag. She really needs to get her shit together and start acting like an adult. It doesn't make any since that this is the first time that she is doing this since she arrived, she has cleaned specific areas at times; I mean there is a certain amount of time you can ignore milked cereal on the floor before it starts stinking and leaving stains. And attracting cockroaches, she added disgusted.

She was cooling the pasta under cold water when the intercom buzzed. She quickly pressed the open button and took the sauce off the stove. She put everything on the table and waited for the knock. Soon after the sound of clicking heels could be heard from the corridor. Emma rolled her eyes as she approached the door, trust Regina to wear heels even to the airport. She opened the door and a spent looking Regina stood in front of her. Yes, stunning as always but somehow lacking her fighting spirits.

"Hey" she said with a smile and Regina stepped in for a hug. They stood there for a long moment.

"Hi" Regina mumbled into her shoulder. That was when she noticed the suitcase; did Regina come here straight from the airport? Eventually they split.

"Come in"

She grabbed her suitcase before Regina had the chance of lifting it herself and placed it near her closet. She noticed Regina was wearing work clothes; charcoal grey pantsuit with a button up white shirt. That must be uncomfortable.

"Feel free, there is pasta on the counter" she pointed towards the kitchen "if you're hungry and… what?" Regina was staring at her with an appreciative look and only then Emma remembered that she is indeed dressed in super short shorts and a revealing spaghetti tank top.

"Sorry about that" she mumbled "it's pretty warm outside. Would you like me to change?" she inquired, fearing maybe all the exposed skin is making Regina uncomfortable.

"Never." Regina said after a split second "You are stunning Emma," they locked eyes "So beautiful that I have trouble convincing myself you are mine and mine only" she approached Emma and snaked her hand around her, this time exposed, hips and the skin to skin contact caused goose bumps to rise all over her body. Emma leaned in for a sweet kiss.

She kissed Regina enough times though, to know that her mind was somewhere else.

"We don't have to do anything," she stepped back, arm still resting on the brunette's shoulder "Like at all. I can see you are troubled."

Regina sighed and nodded "I am"

"Do you want to watch a movie on TV?"

"That would be lovely"

"Great. Now, do you have some comfortable clothes?" Regina shook her head shyly

"I'm afraid not. Not clean ones anyway…"

"Don't worry," Emma assured while making her Way to her closet "You can borrow some of mine" she pulled out a pair if sweatpants and a t-shirt. Regina's eyebrows shot up for a quick moment before relenting and accepting the clothes. While Regina changed in the bathroom Emma quickly discarded the shorts and put on sweatpants as well, so much for sitting comfortably in jeans.

Regina came back and lord could she get more beautiful? Even with the most pathetic choice of clothes and almost no make-up this woman looked like a goddess. They positioned themselves on the couch and Emma searched for a movie. Ten minutes into watching Regina, straight up giving up her manners, curled into her side. Her legs draped over Emma's thighs and her head resting on her shoulder. Emma draped her arm over the hunched figure and rubbed soothing circles on her back. Only then Emma realized how physically tiny Regina is, how fragile; and she felt this inexplicable urge to bury her in her arms and protect her from everything that might hurt her.

They sat like this for a long time. At some point Regina buried her head in the crock of Emma's neck and the blonde could feel the rapid breath and warm tears on her neck. She squeezed Regina's trembling form more securely into her.

"If you want to talk, I'm here" she kissed her head affectionately. Regina didn't respond, only plastered a few small peck on Emma's neck.

Eventually she fell asleep, all curled up in her human shield, her chest going up and down slowly. Emma stuck around as long as she could but it was nearing her shift time.

Unwillingly, she pulled herself out of the embrace and entered the bathroom. She showered and put her work clothes on. Regina was still sleeping in an uncomfortable looking position on the couch. Emma lifted her up, bridal style, and carried her to her bed. She took a post stick and scrabbled

_'Had to go to work, call me if you need me. There's food in the fridge. I should be back around midnight, if you want to leave- there are keys in the top drawer in the kitchen counter, please lock after yourself. Emma.'_

She had a read through; that should do. She placed the pasta and the sauce in the fridge and left for her shift.

* * *

 

Looks like the lord has heard her prayers and kept costumers from arriving to the restaurant that night. A couple of easy going tables were all Emma had to deal with that shift. Due to the lack of orders the waiters were given fine food since it didn't sell out. Emma enjoyed a nice dish of Pasta with shrimps and white wine sauce and even helped herself with a large portion of a classic New York cheesecake. She boxed some of it and made her way home at the early time of 23:15.

Emma was pretty sure Regina left the apartment but just to be on the safe side, she opened the door quietly. To her surprise to brunette wasn't only still there, but also sleeping in the exact same position Emma put her in before leaving; literally haven't moved an inch. Which led Emma to think that this trip was extra exhausting and took its toll on the, usually well put together, brunette.

She placed the cake in the fridge and approached the bed. She halted. Yes, it is her house and her bed, but Regina and her aren't really in a place where they share a bed, (hopefully) yet. What if being in bed with another human being is a red line for Regina and it will make her uncomfortable? Emma doesn't want to be responsible for that. She looked over to the couch, contemplating. Not the nicest nor most comfortable place to sleep in but this is the only option she has. Besides, she has slept there multiple times when crashing in front of the TV with ice cream in hand, exhausted after a double shift in the restaurant. This will have to do.

She discarded her shoes and stepped out of her working clothes. Emma doesn't do pants unless it's absolutely necessary and in her apartment, it is certainly not. But since she has a guest, she will be considerate and wear the largest and longest shirt she can find in which all you can see is just legs. Finding that specific article of clothing in complete darkness and quietly turned out to be quit a mission. Eventually, she fished out one of her old school shirts; one she got when nobody really gave a shit if it fits her or not. Now though, it comes in handy.

After brushing her teeth and washing her face, she stood, awkwardly watching Regina all tangled up in the only blanket she owns. No blanket for Emma then. Never mind, it is not particularly chilly that night, she can manage.

When she positioned herself on the couch she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling on their own record; tomorrow she will be sore. That's for sure.


	21. Chapter 21

The sharp pain in her neck wakes her up, the divine smell filling her nostrils is what keeps her from going back to sleep.

It's earlier than she is used to, she knows that for sure; she can feel her tired body yelling at her to turn into the pillow, block the light away and go back to sleep. Her eyes won't corporate as well, staying closed for a long period of time.

Emma was never one to wake up immediately, she needs her three alarm clocks, one every ten minutes to even considering leaving dream world. After accepting the fact that it is morning, Emma stares into nothing, sometimes for minutes, until her brain jumps to action.

Today is no different. She lies on her back, eyes staring blankly up and waits for her entire body to properly wake up. Slowly she regains brain activity and suddenly the mystery of why she is on her sofa instead of her bed solves itself out. Regina.

She shoots up, causing herself a mild dizziness attack, and turns to look at the kitchen.

All she sees is Regina's back as the brunette wanders around the area, looking for things. She opens and closes several cabinets' doors until she finds where the plates are. She makes a humming sound, deeming the plates acceptable and turns around to place them on the kitchen island. She halts when they lock eyes. They keep silent, Regina not knowing what to say and Emma still not fully awake, at least not enough to maintain a conversation. Eventually the brunette breaks the silence

"Good morning"

"Mm" Emma nods with head. Ruby keeps insisting that in the morning Emma is not really a person, but a cow. And why is that? Emma doesn't talk when she wakes up, only hums, mostly pissed hums since mornings aren't her thing.

Regina seems to interpret it the wrong way. She lowers her head, slightly ashamed.

"I apologies, I didn't mean to intrude…" Emma's sporting a small frown in return "I was hungry" she swallows "you said to feel free…"

Emma's brain seems to fully pop up in the most important moment. Before Emma has any chance of harming what she has with Regina based on the fact that she is one angry piece of shit in the mornings, she quickly stands.

"Oh no no no, I totally meant it that way!" she is quick to assure "I'm just" she scratched the back of her neck "not a morning type of person"

Regina seems relieved. She even puts on a small amused smile "I've noticed"

Emma wants to approach the brunette and drown her in a good morning kiss, but it is morning therefore teeth brushing is required. When she enters the bathroom she immediately notices a few unfamiliar items. There is another tooth brush and a Channel (of course) toiletry bag. She peaks inside and finds a few tubes of cream, all travel size, and a small bottle of perfume.

She brushes her teeth thoroughly, since no morning stench is allowed today. She washes her face and combs her hair into submission with her fingers. All along, sneaking looks over to the bag.

You are not sniffing around.

She peers inside the bag again. Oh fuck it, just the perfume.

She opens the small bottle and takes a sniff. She sighs. This is Regina bottled up. She closes her eyes and engulfs in the scent, in direct connotation connected to her favorite brunette minus the intensity of being so close to her.  

Just one spray on her shirt.

She smells the collar with a smile, something to hold on to once the brunette leaves.

She comes out to the main area of the apartment, Regina already stocking up to food on both plates.

"That smells divine" she says and Regina sends a proud smile her way.

"You bet it is" but there is no bite to her statement, only serenity.

Emma kisses her softly on the corner of her mouth and Regina turns to engage into a more serious kiss. That until she breaks out of it and Emma pouts in response.

"The food will get cold" she tries to reason but Emma won't have any of it.

"I don't care" she tries to dive in again but Regina stops her with a hand on her chest.

"It taste the best when served hot"

"Mm" Emma nozzles her cheek "You taste better" she kisses her cheek "and you're hotter" she adds with a smile and Regina's eyebrows shoot up in response.

"Someone is feeling frisky today" she observes Emma from head to toe, lingering on her exposed legs merely covered by her shirt.

"Eat first" she points towards the steamy food waiting for them on the table "And later we'll see about consoling you with a desert" her smile is sinister and it does all kinds of things to Emma. She leaps enthusiastically into one of the chairs and starts eating in the earnest. She moans, because honestly the food is divine.

"This is delicious"

"I'm glad you like it" Regina says between small polite bites, half judging half admiring Emma's appetite and speed of munching.

"What do you normally eat for breakfast?" she picks up the conversation after minutes of merely eating "and please don't say popcorn" she adds, her face contours in disgust.

Emma lets out a chuckle "Nah," she says "popcorn is for dinners only "she jokes" breakfasts are usually coffee or crackers"

Regina seems unsatisfied with that answer. She shakes her head in disbelief "You eat like a child"

"I'm pretty sure kids can't have coffee" she retorts and adds "Plus, I am a child" Emma answers without thinking about the statement. When Regina says nothing she looks up to find her slightly frowning, eyes narrowed down.

"Regina?"

"You are a child" she says more to herself than to Emma/

"I'm not really a child" she tries to reason "That was a joke"

"No you are" Regina argues "it's very easy to forget but you are a child."

"I…" how does one respond to that?

"How old are you exactly?"

"Soon I'll be nineteen" she answers sheepishly. Something inside her tells her this is not what Regina wants to hear.

"You're only eighteen?" she seems outraged and Emma winces. Is she mad at her? They never talked about their ages, it never came up.

"I told you I came to New York once I turned eighteen"

"I know you did" Regina's tone changed into one Emma didn't like, as if she was talking to a child "It's just never occurred to me that you are so young"

Emma clears her throat. Here we go. "How old are you?"

"Older" Emma rolls her eyes at that reply. Regina sighs "I'm 29"

"Well okay," Emma is quick to assure "It's only" she does the math and her excitement dies quickly "10 years gap" she says quietly. Regina seems petrified. "It is not so much" Emma tries to calm her down.

"Emma, this is a decade we're talking about"

"I don't mind" she tries again, 'cause honestly she couldn't care less about Regina's age. She would be lucky to look like she does nearing her thirties.

"You are not even aloud to legally drink" this thought seems to scare Regina the most. Emma can see her tumbling down with stupid, which is exactly what they are- stupid, facts.

"Regina look at me" she shoots out of her chair and grabs Regina's shoulders "I'm sorry I said it, it was just a joke." Regina is looking at her but it's void of any emotions nor attention, as if the brunette is currently having an inside argument and isn't really in tune with the outside world. "Regina?" she caresses her cheeks. The fear settles nicely in her chestal area, pressuring her heart.

Finally, Regina turns to smile at her. But her smile is sad, pathetic almost. Her eyes apologizing and Emma feels her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach. God please don't let it be happening. She doesn't believe in god, but in this moment, she will do anything if it will help.

"Emma" Regina whispers and Emma closes her eyes, she can't look the brunette in the eyes. "You are a beautiful young woman" she starts and Emma's eyes water under their lids.

"Please don't" she whispers, her voice raspy and trembling.

"And I like you lot but I-" she sucks in a breath and Emma doesn't think her knees can hold her "You are so young, I can't-" she shakes her head and Emma want's to scream. She wants to yell at her that age is just a number, and that she is grown up and has experienced more in her eighteen years than people in their 50s have. She wants to beg her not to leave, because she has never opened up like this to anyone and if Regina will leave she won't be able to lift up the pieces of the floor. She wants to tell her she likes her so much, that her heart hurts when she thinks about her, good pain. She wants to kiss her and convey all of the feelings she never thought she would feel, feelings she can word out yet. She wants to hold her tight and never let her go.

But nothing happens, she doesn't move an inch, eyes large with fear, tears threaten to spill over and her heart beats in the speed of light, hammering in her chest. She is paralyzed by the fear of being rejected, thrown away like so many times before. She doesn't hear Regina's next words, she is too concentrated on the fact that the brunette starts picking her stuff shoving them all in her suitcase. Her figure turns blurry when the tears become too much to see through. She stands there, almost as if waiting to be executed. She tries to will herself to move, to speak, to beg, to do something.

Regina closes the door after herself and the silent thud is the only noise in the apartment.

So many emotions wash over Emma, one more painful than the other. Because even if she doesn't want to admit it, she feels for Regina, a lot more than she would've been comfortable admitting, even to herself.

Pain, disappointment, rejection, rage, sadness. You are not good enough, never good enough. It is all too much, too painful. So painful that she can’t even bring herself to cry or yell. She stands in her spot, rapid shallow breaths leave her body, her mouth open in a silent scream, her frown threatens to rip her face open.

She stands there, waiting for something to happen, but nothing comes; no cry, nor a yell. She simply stands there as her inside breaks into tiny shreds of what used to be her soul. Memories flash in front of her eyes, being discarded at the social services, her foster family say they don't want her anymore, being moved around like a puppet. Always alone. Why did she expect anything different? She has one rule and one rule only; don't open up to people. She broke that rule and look what happened.

She tries to calm her breath, her head getting dizzy from hyperventilating. She clutches her stomach for dear life, tries to ignore her swirling stomach. She wants to vomit. Vomit everything she's eaten, everything Regina has made for her. Regina.

She sees the chocolate brown eyes stare it her and only then hell breaks loose. She lets out an agonized scream, raw, almost animalistic. Tears spill out one after the other, her cheeks stricken with lines of the tears that don't get the chance to dry before a new trail follows. She cries silently, the pain is too much to express in sound. Everything wobbles, her legs feel like jelly, fail to hold her and she collides with ground. Her form shaking uncontrollably as she tries and spit out all the agony.

It's not pretty in any form or way. Tears mix with snot and saliva as she smears her tears stricken face on her hand. Everything hurts and it only seem fit that her body should hurt too, just like her soul. She sits there until her legs are numb and her crouched back sends pain shocks to all of her limbs.

Emma is not a drinker, never found the appeal in the warm bitter liquid. All she has is a bottle of cheap tequila Ruby bought her as a joke. It is staring at her from the low cabinet shelf. Emma only has to extend her arm to grab the glass bottle.

She takes a large gulp. And another. She downs it until everything is fuzzy and nothing makes sense and the pain is dulled by a feeling of confusion. She drinks until she can't make left from right, the ceiling from the floor. She drinks until every single thing she ate pushes its way through her throat and lands on the floor in a sticky mess. She keeps drinking, 'cause despite the shitty life she has been through, she always found something to live for, something to fight for. Until now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I know I probably killed all of you with that scene. It was also hard for me to write it but again, it's not all sunshine and rainbows one hundred percent of the time. So let's all deal with our feels and hope things will get better from here (Spoiler alert- it'll probably get a tad worse before it'll get better).


	22. Chapter 22

She could hear the muffled knocks on the door, she didn't even bother to get up. Maybe they'll go away.

Everything hurts, her head, her body, her heart. Luckily, the physical pain is so distracting, she doesn't even bother to address everything else.

The door clicks open, Emma remains with her eyes closed. She doesn't care anymore.

"Jesus Emma" she hears a gasp and a second later two strong hands grab her armpits and help her to a sitting position. Everything is turning and her stomach flips in her torso. It's a matter of seconds before she leans forward. Her body tries to empty itself but nothing but saliva comes out, she already threw up everything she had. She sits there for what seems like forever, while Ruby supports her and holds her hair away from her face. Her body wrecks in useless waves, everything clenching, and since there's nothing that can come out, she chokes on air. It happens again and again and tears of frustration swell up in her eyes.

Stupid body. She wants to yell at it, I have nothing left. That thought hit her like a train wreck and she lets out a raspy choked sob.

Ruby rubs soothing circles on her lower back and eventually the vomiting, or at least the failure attempts to, subside.

"What happened?" Ruby questions but Emma doesn't have an ounce of energy left in her body. "How much did you drink?" she asks mortified when she picks up a fairly empty bottle of tequila. Of course some of it is spilled all over her floor but a larger quantity ended up in her system.

"You need to drink" Ruby gets up and Emma sways a little from the sudden lack of support. She comes back a second later with a glass of water in hand. "There" she helps Emma sip a hearty dose. Only then Emma understands how dry and itchy her throat was before.

She indulges in the feeling of slight relieve. No for long though; shortly after her second sip her body rejects the water and her stomach pushes everything out. It takes only one push for her to spit out all she drank but her body keeps on wrecking, contracting and choking her. She lies down limp when this round ends and her eyes are half closed.

Luckily Ruby and drinking go hand in hand, she does seem a little stressed but not completely freaked out.

"Okay then, let's try and get you cleaned first" she says gently and only then Emma connects the awful smell with the fact that she is literally lying in her own vomit.

Ruby proves her strength when she lifts her up, all of her weight leaning on the slim waitress. Slowly but safely they progress to the bathroom.

Ruby sit her down on the closed toilet lid and goes for her shirt.

"Mmm" Emma tries to protest

"Shut up, it's just tits, I have them too." Powerless against Ruby and her stubbornness she cooperates with her and in a swift motion her shirt is lifted off her head. "Don't worry, we'll keep your panties on"

She helps Emma up and into the shower. When the ice cold water hit her skin she lets out a high pitched squeak. After she gets used to the temperature of the water, she is grateful. The water wash away the stench, as well as sticky vomit and the cold sweat covering her body.

Ruby takes her out, dries her with a towel and dresses her with a new t-shirt, a product Emma has in dozens. She is still only half responding, exhausted physically and mentally. Her head throbs, her throat screams for water and the rest of her body alternates between numb and sore.    

She sits on the couch sipping water in the tiniest sips, as Ruby instructed, staring at nothing. Ruby is in the kitchen, talking to Peter. Drowning in liquor and later in her vomit, Emma totally forgot about her shift. And Ruby is asking Peter's help in finding a replacement for her.

"Yes" she talks into the phone "Also tomorrow, I don't think she'll fine by then" she walks to the sofa with a bucket in hand. Don't assume it was Emma's; she doesn't clean. One of the male neighbors on her floor was happy to contribute the bucket, especially when a skimpy dressed Ruby batted her lashes his way. "Thank you babe, love you"

She hung up and placed the bucket next to the sofa.

"Why don't you chill out and watch a movie? And I'll make you something to eat."

Emma didn't respond, the last thing she wanted was to watch a movie. She just watched one yesterday with…

She sighed, is this how it's going to go now? Everything she owns, everything she does reminds her of _her_.

"I'm fine Rub's" she mumbled, her voice broken and raw from the lack of water. "Don't you have work?"

"I'm fine" Ruby was quick to assure "which isn't something I can't say about you, physically and emotionally" looking at Emma stiff up looking at her with fearful eyes she sighed. "We are not doing it now. And I'm not going anywhere." She determined "Let's make you a sandwich"

* * *

 

Emma tried, she honestly did, but every sip of water or a bite of bread ended up in the bucket. With every round she lost her vitals, she was weaker, pale and barely moved. Ruby helped her eat more and drink more and she would throw it all out, minutes after. Every time the content of her stomach would go out on the first try, leaving her trying to vomit nothing, choking on air, her body contracts in an excruciating endless torture. Her tears are long gone, and all she is left with is a helpless look towards Ruby, a silent plea for her to help Emma out of her misery. But Ruby doesn't know what to do and you can see panic in her eyes now.  

"Emma I think you should a doctor"

"No" Emma objected so lamely Ruby didn't even have the heart to resist her.

"Why? Don't you have medical insurance?"

"I don't know what it includes, I can't take the risk" she swallows but the lump stays in her throat "and end up with a hundreds of dollars bill to pay. I can't afford being sick."

Ruby opens her mouth and then shuts it. She frowns, trying to find another solution. When she comes up with none she picks up her phone again.

"Who are you calling to?" Emma asks, her voice tired, even from this small amount of use.

Ruby ignores her while it rings. "Hello"

"I'm fine but Emma isn't, can you please come over?"

* * *

 

 

Emma probably dozed off. When she wakes up again, it's dark outside. Mary Margaret is working furiously in her kitchen while Ruby sitting next to the sofa on one of the kitchen chairs.

"She is up" Ruby announces loudly and Emma winces.

"My head" she mumbles.

"That would be the hangover" Ruby informs her as if she is talking about the weather "Besides that, how are you feeling?"

"Mmm" Emma turns to face her, still laying down "Thirsty. And everything is spinning" she adds in afterthought.

"Let's try to get some water in your system." Ruby retrieved a glass full of water with a spoon. Emma shoots her a questioning gaze.

"Mary Margaret says it helps" Ruby shrugs.

"What?" Mary Margaret joins the conversations once her name is mentioned.

"You said the spoon helps" Ruby informs her on what she has missed so far.

"Oh it does!" she approaches the living room and crouches down right in front of Emma "I used to have fluids in my ears as a kid, kept me dizzy for weeks at a time. Of course, with dizziness comes nausea and vomiting." She shakes her head as she recalls her past "Couldn't get a thing into my mouth without spitting it right out. Anyway," she clasps her hands together "My mom found this advice somewhere: you eat the water with a spoon, that way you take a small portion every time and it helps your stomach to handle it. Just give it a try"

Surprisingly so, it does work. Emma starts with a spoon every few minutes and picks up the speed from there. Once she is finished with a full cop she already feels better. Regardless, she is famished. Ruby thinks it's okay for her to eat since she has, so successfully, managed to handle the water. Mary Margaret begs to differ and advices Emma to wait a while with the food. Since her water spoon thing has worked, Emma chooses to go with her.

She slowly downs two more cups of water until Mary Margaret deems Emma qualified to try some food. She takes the chicken soup of the stove and roasts a toast. She orders Emma to take small bites and alternate between the two, first a spoon of soup, then a small bite of toast also dipped in the soup.

First try goes to hell and after two or three bites everything is out of her system. Only now Emma understands why Mary Margaret insisted on waiting with the whole food thing. The water had enough time to absorb in her systems, saving her from dehydration.

The second try is a lot better, and despite having some serious troubles digesting the food, Emma manages to keep everything in. She eats in small portions and stops for breaks. After about an hour she finally has to pee. Ruby is so excited about it, you would thing she is being potty trained.

They sit and watch a chic flick and there is a hint of a smile on Emma's face. She does have something to fight for, she has great friends who care about her. She is not alone, she can't just run or disappear like she desperately wants to. She will stick around and face it. Somehow.

It was getting late and Mary Margaret sent an apologizing look her way.

"You can go" the blonde assured "I'm fine" she took her offered hand and squeezed it "thank you!"

"No problem" Mary Margaret was quick to dismiss it "Please keep up that pace until you feel like you can handle more. There is more in the pot for at least a day or two. Drink until you feel like you might die out of water poisoning, then drink some more."

Emma chuckled and jokily saluted.

"Oh and don't worry about tomorrow, I'll let Ms. Mills know you are not well."

When the brunette's name came up Emma's face crumbled. How is she going to work with her at the same space?

Mary Margaret, blissfully unaware of their little thing, misinterpreted Emma's facial expression. "Oh I'm sure she won't mind" she assured her with a flick of her hand "It is just one day and you've never missed one before. It will be okay" she promised and Emma tried to plaster a sufficient smile to get Mary Margaret off the topic.

It seemed to work. The brunette gathered her things and went through the instructions of 'Do and don't do' with Emma one last time before bidding her goodbyes and fleeing out the door.

"It's fine, you can go too if you'd like" Emma said a moment later to the other brunette.

"I'm going to stick here for the night and make sure you're okay. Unfortunately I have to leave for my shift around ten thirty."

"That's totally fine, I've got this. I'm going to stay home, drink and watch TV all day anyway, nothing you're needed for."

The plan seemed acceptable by Ruby and she made a short trip to get ready for bed.

Emma will use her alone time tomorrow to figure things out. If Regina was her boss in the restaurant she would quit in a heart bit and find a new place. But this firm is her way out of her previous life, this is her ticket out and she can't throw it away over a failed attempt at a relationship. If she can even call it that. She needs to navigate this one delicately, maintain her high work ethic and later on find a way to move inside the company. She isn't going to run away, she isn't going to just disappear, she is going to have to deal with it like an adult. Despite the fact that she is a child, she added in sarcasm mixed with bitterness.

It hurts like a mother fucker but she has been through worse. She will figure it out.

"Em, do you mind if we call it a night? I'm pretty exhausted." She said as she moved to help Emma out of the sofa and towards the bathroom.

"No problem" Emma could only imagine how much energy taking care of her took.

After her slightly slower and more time consuming night routine they got into bed.

Ruby dozed off in seconds and Emma stayed up, staring at the ceiling. She tried her hardest not to make any noise as tears fell one after the other. The bed smelled like Regina. The painful thought kept repeating in her head. She was so happy that morning, right before everything went south. What a far cry from the way she feels now. Broken, hopeless, unlovable. She misses her so much, it hasn't even been a day and she misses her. The knowledge that she isn't coming back makes it a whole lot worse.

She commands herself to sleep, tries to keep her mind from wondering.

'Sleep, sleep, sleep' she says to herself again and again until it finally works. When she finally falls asleep she is not as fortunate and her subconscious fills her dreams with dark raven hair, chocolate brown eyes and a scarred lip.


	23. Chapter 23

"Em?" a hand shook her shoulder, tearing her from the land of sleep.

"Mmm" she mumbles annoyed. People need to stop messing with her mornings like that.

"I gotta go" Ruby says and she hears ruffling noises.

"Fine" she manages one word; impressive achievement in her current state.

"Emma please listen to me" Ruby is now sitting on her bed, making it sink.

"I am, I am" she turns to look at her friend, her eyes still adjusting to the amount of light.

"I need to go to work, I'm working the entire day so I can't be here with you. Though I am right here at Granny's so if you need something, anything at all, you can call me and I'll be here in a heartbeat. Please eat and drink and don't move too much, Kay?"

"Mmm"

"Emma!"

"I heard you" she says exasperated "Work, all day, Granny, phone, food, water"

Ruby seemed to examine her for a short while before deeming her grammarless sentence sufficient.

"Alright then, please lock after me"

"I will"

"Okay" Ruby made a move to get up and Emma quickly grabbed her wrist. The brunette turned to look at her quizzically

"Thank you" she put on her most honest expression. She needed Ruby to know that she is grateful and beyond. "For everything"

Ruby made a dismissing gesture with her hand.

"I mean it" Emma emphasized.

"I know you do" Ruby assured "And my response is: for you, always" they shared a small smile and then Ruby's face got back to her 'business face'.

"Now, I have to leave. Take care. Text me so I know you're alive. Don't think about getting near anything remotely close to booze and-" she stopped, trying to see if she's missed anything "that's it, bye"

"Bye" Emma said and got up to lock the door. She crashed on her bed with a sigh and quickly fell back asleep.

* * *

 

Her buzzing phone woke her up. It vibrated on her night stand and eventually stopped. The damage was done though, Emma was up. She glanced at the clock, it was almost noon.

She brushed her teeth and downed a glass of water, only after it occurred to her that her stomach might still be sensitive. She stood still and waited for the nausea to arrive but it didn't. She decided to take it easy with the food, despite her success with the water.

Emma set in front of the TV and slowly ate her breakfast. Only when her phone vibrated for the third time since she started eating she made a move to get it. She mentally rolled her eyes, probably Ruby nagging her.

When she picked her phone up she froze. Two missed calls and five text messages from Regina.

Emma closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Despite desperately wanting to know what this is about, she threw her phone on her bed and left it there.

You don't care. She ended it. She can go ahead and keep trying, you are not picking it up.

Emma glanced at her phone every couple of minutes but for once stayed true to her words and left it untouched. Trying to look for a distraction, she spotted the bucket, now clean thanks to Ruby. She needs to give it back. Ruby said it belongs to the neighbor to her right. Honestly, Emma never met the guy, let alone bother to learn his name. Still, she picked up her flip-flops and crossed the two meters to the other apartment. She knocked on the door and only then she realized he is probably at work.

A nice looking lady opened the door. She looked like the maid and Emma assumed she was his cleaning lady. Obviously everyone have a cleaning lady and generally their shit together; everyone but Emma.

"Hey" Emma said shyly and lifted the bucket "It belongs to-" she cleared her throat "Here" she just shoved the bucket in the woman's hands "thank you".

The woman just nodded and closed the door. If you ask Emma this woman probably doesn’t even know English. She shrugged and made her way back to her apartment.

The rest of the day was pretty much the same; she drank a lot of water, ate and watched TV. Pee breaks were somewhere in between, but that was basically it. She texted Ruby around lunch time to let her know that she is alive and did the same thing with Mary Margaret. During all that procedure she didn't touch the other received massages. She has no idea what Regina is trying to do, but she isn't going to let her.

* * *

 

She is lying on her sofa, half watching TV half staring into nothingness when there are knocks on the door. Emma knows it isn't Ruby since the brunette likes to shout the blonde's name while she knocks, as if it isn't enough to simply bang on the door. Mary Margaret would never stop by without making sure it's okay first. Everybody else can go suck it.

"Emma Swan, open the door" Emma freezes. What the hell is she doing here?

The knocks continue, getting louder and more frequent. "I know you're in there, open up!"

She sounds angry and Emma doesn't want to face her right now so she continues to lie on the sofa, eyes fixed on the TV but absorbing nothing. Her heart beats fast and so forcefully, she fears it's going to break out of her chest. Luckily, she doesn't have to open the door. Wait, she did lock after herself did she?

Her eyes go round with realization that she indeed, closed the door after coming back from her neighbor but nothing more. She closes her eyes and prays that she doesn't figure it out. Of course, it takes only one second and she hears the door open.

"Am I invisible?" Regina strides angrily into her apartment and all Emma wants to do is cry; cry because the last thing Regina is, is invisible, despite Emma's wishes.

Emma doesn't look her way, keep staring at the TV. That until Regina picks up the remote and shuts it off. Emma keeps her line of sight straight ahead but manages to see the brunette place her hands on her hips.

"Emma" she calls her name again and it takes everything in her to not look.

"Would you look at me?" she sounds almost desperate. Finally, Emma looks up and her breath catches in her throat.

Regina is looking at her with so many different emotions in her eyes; she can spot anger and exasperation but at the same time there's sadness, compassion and something else she can't put her finger on.

"What were you thinking?" she sits on the coffee table and it so not like her but she so doesn't seem to care.

"Are you crazy? Drinking like this? Passing out? Refusing to seek medical attention? Ignoring every text massage I send you?"

Emma wants to roll her eyes, well that and to choke Mary Margaret for telling everything; though knowing Regina, the poor woman probably didn't stand a chance.

"This was stupid and reckless" Regina determines, folding her hands on her chest, her form oozing with rage.

"Well I am a child aren't I?" Emma bites bitterly but her voice remains calm and collected.

Regina huffs and Emma knows that she is being the petulant child Regina claims she is but she doesn't care one bit.

"I was worried about you" and with that sentence, that confession, all the fight seems to leave Regina, leaving her worried and nothing else.

Now it is Emma's turn to get angry

"Well you don't get to worry about me" she throws her way and Regina winces. "You lost that right when left me"

She can feel her eyes moisten and she hates it, why is she so weak when it comes to Regina?

"Emma I-" she swallows "Did you read any of the texts I sent you?" when Emma shakes her head she can spot the irritation in the brunettes eyes but Regina says nothing and soon it's gone.

"Well, if you read any of them you would have known that A. I was worried sick. And yes, I know that I hurt you and I said some things that I shouldn't have but that doesn't mean I magically stop caring about you and wanting you to be safe. And B. that I was quick to react and I handled everything wrong. I was tired and stressed and this trip took its toll on me; and instead of thanking you for being there for me I lost it."

Regina takes a deep breath and looks Emma straight in the eye "I'm sorry, I freaked out and I made a mistake. I would like to say that I am perfect, unfortunately that is not true. I'm human and sometimes I hurt those around me and this is my flaw. I hope that you can forgive me and I hope that you consider giving us one more chance. I don’t want this to end"

Emma can see her hand tremble, dying to close the distance and lace their fingers together. But she doesn't, she keeps to herself and Emma appreciates it. "Yes, you are young, extremely young. Yet so mature at the same time and I love this about you, I don't want you to ever change. We can make it work, I don't want to lose you."

Emma is torn, wanting so bad to jump on the brunette and kiss her breath away and yet feeling the pain of betrayal in every bone in her body. She sighs. Can she open herself up again? Should she?

"I-" she swallows "I don't know Regina, I honestly don't" she starts and Regina latches to every word with a hopeful expression "You hurt me once, I forgave you and then you did it again. Every day I get more attached to you, every day the risk of you breaking me to pieces grows. How can I allow myself to be vulnerable again? We had our thing for, what? A month or two? And you managed to rattle me completely twice already. What happens when I share my secrets with you? My insecurities? What happens when we grow closer? How will I lift myself back up if something goes wrong?" she sits up and stares Regina in the eye.

"Not to disrespect your pain, but if we don't work out you have friends and family and your job and money. You'd have everything but me. I can't lose my job, my only chance for a better life. I will struggle financially 'cause who would hire me? You have your heart on the line, which is a lot, don't get me wrong. But I have everything on the line. All of it."

They're silent for a long moment before Regina speaks up again.

"I can't promise that everything will work and we will always be okay, I can't" she shrugs "I also know that it's not just us Emma, people get hurt in every relationship they get into. They hurt the ones they love and scar them, more than anybody else in their lives. I know you don't have a lot of experience in relationships so let me share a part of my wisdom with you. If you like someone, there is always something at stake. It could be your heart being broken and never healing properly again, it could be the life you've built together, it could be who you are and who you've became since that person has arrived. When it matters, you get hurt, because those people reach places in your heart and in your life and in your soul that other people never will. The only question is, are they worth it? Are they worth the pain they put you through? I like you a lot Emma, I care for you and I want to be around you at any given time yet I feel like I expose myself when I talk about my past, my fears, even just by dating you and being your boss at the same time. My reputation is on the line too. But I've decided you're worth it, it and so much more. All I had to do was not being around you for a couple hours and worrying about you being hurt; that made me realize that I don't want to let you go. I will go further and tell you this: I usually don't engage in relationships, I casually date and go around when I feel like I need company. And I'm like that because my family isn't truly aware of my sexual tendencies and I didn’t feel the need to expose myself to their wrath for any of the girls I've dated so far. For you, if things go right, I would make an exception. So all I ask is, do I have someone to fight for?"


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I will not tell you what's about to happen, you'll read it in a second anyway. But I will say this: if you want to know more about why I wrote things the way that I did you can go back to chapter 23' comments, I wrote essays over there trying to explain my point of view. If you still want to ask or comment about it (which is totally cool) you can comment here or send me an email or tweet me at my new (!) twitter- lifein10s/lifein10s_ that I opened specifically for this purpose. Anyway, I'll let you guys read.
> 
> Warning: sexual content.

 

_"So all I ask is, do I have someone to fight for?"_

* * *

 

 

She tries, honestly tries to stick to her rules and her instincts. Regina has the power to break her, if not now, then in the future. But one look at her company, at those beautiful caramel eyes and wobbly lower lip make it very easy for Emma. She can't really walk away from this, from her.

She charges forward and crashes their lips together. It is needy and forceful and angry and loving all at the same time. At first, Regina is frozen but Emma kisses her again and again until Regina is coaxed out of her shock and she kisses back, her tongue caresses Emma's in a way that make her toes curl. 

Emma pulls Regina until she is straddling her lap, a leg on each side.

She pulls away, eyes closed and whispers "Please don't hurt me" and somehow it's the most vulnerable she has ever been. Admitting to Regina that she has the power to break her, that, that was weakness at its finest.

"I won't" Regina determines and Emma knows that despite the both of them wanting that statement to be true and guaranteed, it isn't. She knows it's not accurate and Regina might cause her a lot of pain. She knows it won't be smooth, since nothing is easy in her life. But putting how happy Regina makes her against how broken she can leave her still gives the win, every single time, to being with Regina. Yes, they have a long way ahead of them, where they both will have to lower their guard. And as much as Emma despises the way she felt the last 48 hours, she feels like it was almost necessary. They will fight and bicker over multiple issues, she has no doubt, but it is part of being with someone.

That's when Emma understands that she finally found a person that she would risk getting hurt for. And that feeling alone sends a wave of warmth through her veins. Feeling this sudden surge of inexplicable power she charges at the brunette, intending on consuming her whole. Emma scoops forward, making room for Regina's legs to cross behind her back, effectively trapping her in.

As they kiss, Regina's hands comb through her blonde locks, making her squirm. She, in return, feels a little bolder and her hands start to wander around; tickling her neck, squeezing shoulders, rubbing soothing circles on her back, ghosting over her ribs, descending until she reaches her lower back. Should she? Would Regina be mad?

She says fuck it and wraps her hand around the brunettes firm behind. She squeezes it, enjoying the softness of her curves and the delicious sounds it draws from Regina. Finally! Is all Emma can't think about at this moment, months and months of this beautiful ass teasing her from afar and now she gets to put her hands on it. The brunette tears her mouth away, panting.

"Cheeky, aren't we?" she questions with mirthful eyes and licks her lips.

Emma gives her a sly smile before slapping it once. It's not hard but enough to do the trick. Regina gasps and her eyebrows shot to her hairline.

"Is that how you want to play?" she asks and Emma honestly can't tell whether it's a promise or a threat.

She doesn't get the chance to respond and Regina starts molesting her neck. She nips and sucks and licks and Emma is sure she going to peak simply from that. Regina is everywhere all at the same time, on her neck, her jaw, the junction between her should and her neck and all she can do is hold Regina's hips for dear life.

She lets out a particularly loud breath when Regina's hands snake all to way up to cup her breasts. She massages them and pads her thumb back and forth until Emma's nipples stand to attention. She rolls the peaks between her fingers and Emma's eyes roll back so forcefully she thinks they will pop out.

"Come on" Regina whispers seductively in her ears "Let me hear you"

"I'm not-" sharp intake of breath "I'm not a screamer"

Regina laughs throatily and pinches her nipples to the point Emma nearly draws blood from her lower lip since she's biting it so hard. "We'll see about that one"

 After minutes of ministrations the apex of her thighs screams with the need of release. Unfortunately, with her legs closed and the fluid that continues to flow to that area, friction seems unreachable. It's when Regina hits a sensitive spot on her neck while deliciously torturing her nipples that her hips make an involuntary motion forward. It doesn't do much for Emma but Regina seems to draw in a breath, momentarily loosing focus. Emma's smile is sinister when she does it again and it elicits a throaty sound out of Regina that goes straight to her lower abdomen.

She tries again, this time her hands ground Regina's hips down. She trusts one time after the other.

"Emma" she breathes and Emma can't help but feeling satisfied that she is the one causing this.

"Emma," she moans "you need to stop or else…" she lays her head on Emma's shoulder, her hands still on her breasts.

"Or else?" she questions knowingly while continuing to thrust. This is too beautiful to watch for her to even considering stopping. She can feel Regina fighting herself, thrusting with Emma and then stopping and then thrusting again.

"So," she says after long minutes of thrusting and admiring Regina's throat and clavicle "Are you going to come all over me?"

That say, combined with her thrusts and a nibble on her earlobe seals the deal.

Regina goes rigid, her eyes rolls and she stills. Emma continues rolling her hips and suddenly Regina lets out a strangled moan and her body starts spasming. She shakes and shakes, her hands now hold Emma's shoulders as she rides out her orgasm.

They sit still, Regina catching her breath with her eyes glossed and Emma simply watching her with awe. This is the most beautiful sight she has ever witnessed, this is more satisfying than an orgasm; looking at Regina so disheveled, so content, so raw.  And she did it.

You see, everyone has this fear of having performance issues. Take that basic fear, add inexperience in general and absolutely no knowledge about lesbian sex and you get a very insecure Emma that thinks she will suck at sex. After seeing Regina topple over the edge she feels slightly better but she can't stop herself from asking.

"Was it okay?" she sounds so vulnerable at the moment that she winces. God, Emma, pull it together.

Regina laughs and grabs her face with both hands "Okay?" she places a chaste kiss on Emma's mouth and then her nose and that gesture is so incredibly intimate Emma has to fight the urge to grab a pair of shoes and run. "You little minx" she shakes her head "it was wonderful"

Emma lets out a breath, relieved. Regina gives her an apologetic smile.

"I'm afraid my stamina isn't up to the game yet, it has been a while since I properly trained it" she winks and Emma blushes. She prefers it that way though, thinking about Regina with someone else sets her ears on fire. 

"It's okay, you don't have to if you don't want-"

"Of course I want to, you idiot." She chastises "I just need a minute" she licks her lips "Or five" they share a laugh.

"Take your time, it's not like it's a competition." Regina settles next to Emma, just like they did two days ago. "Though I'm totally winning" she mumbles to herself and a light slap soon follows. She chuckles.

* * *

 

Emma must have dozed off at some point.

She starts regaining consciousness, eyes still closed. She feels Regina's lips trail from her jaw to her neck, leaving goose bumps all over. She lets out a sigh when the brunette doesn't stop there. Regina descends lower, kissing, licking and sucking all the expanse of skin she can reach, including the parts of Emma's mounds that aren't covered by her blouse.

"Mmm" she moans before she can't stop it and she feels Regina's lips broaden into a smirk.

"I gave you a promise didn't I?" Regina says seductively and Emma wrecks her, still half asleep head, in search of what she is talking about. Her line of thought is cut once Regina starts kissing the valley between her breasts, effectively pulling the shirt down. Half of Emma's bra is out and she winces inwardly when she realizes it's a simple plain bra. How attractive Swan.

It's only then, she finally pays her mind to the face that she is no longer sitting on the sofa but rather lying on her back with Regina half draped over her.

Regina scraps her teeth lightly above her nipples, with the fabric as a barrier, but it still causes shivers down her spine.

"Don't tease" she breathes out and Regina chuckles evilly. She moves to lay completely atop of Emma. She lifts Emma's legs, positioning herself between them and motioning Emma to cross them behind her back. "You should by now, that I'm all about the tease" she says as she lowers her lower half down, finally putting pressure where Emma needs it.

"Mmm" it's a broken moan, a one Emma so desperately tries to suppress but fails to do so.

"Oh no no no no" Regina clicks her tongue in disagreement "I want to hear you" she says when her hips start swaying rhythmically back and forth, driving Emma crazy.

"Well," breath "You, are, going, to, have, to, do, better" she challenges Regina, despite taking a sharp intake of air with each thrust.

"Oh really?" Regina lifts an eyebrow, eyes sparkle with amusement

"Mmm" Emma confirms in what sounds like a half moan.

Regina tugs the hem of Emma blouse upwards and the blonde lifts her upper body. It's awkward but eventually the shirt is off. Regina's eyes are focused solely on the newly revealed skin. She kisses and licks and bites everywhere, making Emma writhe.

Regina places both of her hands on Emma's boobs, massaging, all while thrusting her hips, colliding them with Emma's pulsating heat. Emma bites her lips to the point of blood.

Regina chuckles and it's low and evil "Do you really think you can hold it in?" she doesn't wait for an answer and she reaches behind Emma's back. Right before unclasping her bra, she looks up in question, continuing only after Emma nods in confirmation.

Emma holds her breath in anticipation, will Regina find her attractive? Has she had better looking girls before? Emma has to admit it is more nerve wrecking being with a woman. For men, boobs are boobs, they're practically holy. But Regina has those too, probably much better looking than hers. Her thoughts fly from her head the minute Regina starts feasting on her breasts. She kisses the sides and then swirls her tongue from the base, the circles getting smaller, until she reaches the nipple. It's a light touch, almost no contact, and then, when Emma is on the verge of losing it Regina take the nipple in her mouth and sucks it roughly.

"Ahhhh" Emma can't stop herself from crying out and arching her back. She feels the fluids leave her body in descend downwards, to the apex of her thighs. Multitasking the shit out of Emma Regina keeps an agonizingly slow thrusting with quick and rough ministration on one of her nipples while slowly twisting and turning Emma's the other. The combination between different rhythms and amounts of pressure quickly pushes Emma towards the edge.

"Oh my god" she breathes out and it's almost a groan, barely on the verge of coherent "please don’t-" she sighs "stop" another sigh "I'm about to-"

That's the moment Regina slows to almost complete stop and Emma is shaking with frustration from the abrupt lack of stimulation. Just as she's about to scream her lounges out Regina starts again. Faster and stronger and harder. Emma almost can't handle the strong waves of pleasure sipping through her body in this non ending circle; nipples, to her core, to her nipples and back to her core. Her legs tremble violently and then she freezes.

"Fuck" she cries out and then moves to a series of moans, each one stronger than the other as her body trashes violently and uncontrollably under Regina's skilled body. Regina doesn't stop, drawing her orgasm on and on, until Emma goes limp.

Emma lays there, aftershocks still attacking her body. "You're fucking crazy" Emma determines, her throat is dry and she feels spent. "Jesus"

Regina laughs throatily "What happened to 'I'm not a screamer?" Regina teases and Emma goes for a shoulder slap but she is so weak it's more like a caress.

"Mmm" she tries to object but her eyes are dropping and all she can feel is Regina's hand drawing lazy circles all over her exposed skin, making her hairs stand.

"You just wait until I get you completely naked" Emma's inner muscles clench at that promise. She can't even imagine how a direct contact will feel. She shivers at the thought.

"Mmm" she says in response and Regina plasters a light kiss on her lips.

"So eloquent" she says with affection and that's the last thing Emma hears before she passes out, exhausted.

* * *

 

Her phone is buzzing, again and again. But she is exhausted and mid-sleep and she has no intention of untangling herself from Regina. The phone finally stops and she sighs, waiting for sleep to re-claim her.

The phone starts buzzing again, making a thudded noise hitting the wooden table. She huffs, annoyed, but she finally gets up.

"Motherfuc-" she mumbles to herself while walking towards her phone. How did she even get to her bed? Last time she checked they were on the couch.

"Mmm" Regina sighs "Come back to bed" she mumbles and Emma can't hold her smile at bay. It is so domestic and god help her if Regina isn't the cutest muffin with her sleep-voice and mussed hair.

She picks up the phone still looking at the brunette sprawled all over her bed "Hello?"

"Emma?" he breaths out and freezes. She'd recognize this voice anywhere. She swallows thickly

"Neal?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops ;) looks like Emma can't catch a break. How about you try and guess why he is calling her. Guess correctly and I might tell this reason why Regina goes away so often, before everybody else of course :)


	25. Chapter 25

_"Emma?" he breaths out and she freezes. She'd recognize this voice anywhere. She swallows thickly_

_"Neal?"_

* * *

 

"Emma?" Regina bangs on the bathroom door "Please open up"

"No" she tries to make her voice casual but it wavers like a leaf in the wind.

"Please let me in, tell me what's wrong?"

Emma can hear the plea in her voice and it only adds to the stack of pain that sits on her heart right now.

"Go back to sleep, I'll be fine in a while" she says, this time the tears are completely evident in her tone. It is hoarse and weak and she knows it won't make Regina budge a millimeter.

"You are not fine, that is clear. I just want to be there for you." Emma can't stop the small wave of warmth from crossing her chest, making her heart lighter even if just for a second.

"I don't cry in front of people" she confesses quietly and wonders for a moment if she was even heard on the other side of the door.

"I understand that" Regina quickly answers Emma's internal question "But I'd like to think I'm not just people" Emma can imagine Regina's disapproving look for being put in the group of ordinary people, she is not ordinary in any form or shape. It still doesn't change the fact that Emma isn't comfortable enough lowering that specific wall down.

"I know" she breathes "I still can't," she admits, ashamed "yet"

She can hear Regina sigh "Alright then, despite wishing you would lean on me I respect your choice. I'll be waiting for you in bed."

"Thank you" she mumbles.

"You welcome"

She sits there for a long while, until her tears are no longer coming. She gets up and her body is sore. Surely Regina is asleep by now. She washes her face and leaves the bathroom.

Regina's back is facing Emma, her lounges going up and down slowly. Emma enters the bed and lies down in a fetus position, her back to Regina.

It takes a second and then she hears rustling and a hand snakes around her waist and draws her until she's met with Regina's front.

Regina kisses the back of her neck and then lifts her head up to kiss her temple.

"I'm here if you need me"

Moved by the support, Emma places her hand on Regina's and squeezes.

They fall asleep spooning.

* * *

 

The alarm is too loud in her ears and she quickly moves to turn it off. She is hangover from her sleepless night.

She lays facing up, only noting that there is someone next to her when Regina grunts and buries her head deeper into the pillow. A small smile makes its way to her face, because seeing Regina like that, so grumpy and disheveled makes her a little giddy. Giddy and happy to note that she is, in the end of the day, a person just like she is. In a way, Emma finds this Regina immensely more endearing than her well put together one. There is something very impersonal being with Regina with her day to day form, but this Regina, this Regina is saved only for her.

"We need to get up" she sighs, since it is work day, they can't just stay in bed all day. That thought makes her want to giggle. How ridiculous is that they slept in the same bed twice already but have done anything remotely close to a state of nakedness.

"Mmm" Regina grunts and it is not clear in the slightest.

"What?" she frowns, Regina can't trust her comprehending skills that early in the morning.

"I said no" she grumbles in a low husky voice and Emma can't stop the bubble of laughter. Regina, with eyes still closed, merely raises an eyebrow.

Emma kisses her forehead "You're cute"

"I am not cute" she determines.

"Oh you so are" she retorts and moves to the bathroom, leaving Regina in bed.

When she is out of the shower Regina is sitting on the bed, trying to wake up. Baby steps.

"I need coffee" she says and Emma knows it's the closest she is going to get to a request.

"I'll make some coffee, go brush your teeth"

* * *

 

"Remind me again what's wrong with your current clothes?"

Regina huffs as she turns right to 73rd. the traffic is horrendous and Emma doesn't understand how Regina puts up with this amount of traffic every day. Though, Regina and subway in the same sentence doesn't sound remotely possible, so it looks like she has no choice but to suffer forty minutes of honks and red lights every day on her way to work.

"I told you, I will not, for the life of me, wear the same clothes two days in a row. Especially after flying with it."

"I think you look great" Emma shrugs after having a quick look over, but apparently her untrained eyes isn't going to cut it today.

"Well you have to think that, you are my girlfriend" Regina says before she even registers what is coming out of her mouth.

"Your girlfriend?" Emma asks, amused, though inside she almost feels giddy.

Regina's eyes go round but that's about the only response of panic that she lets out.

"Well," she clears her throat "You know what I mean" and suddenly she is very focused on driving. Emma finds her slight insecurity endearing. She stares ahead with a shit-eating grin. Regina is her girlfriend, when the hell did that happen? What did she do to deserve this (on every scale possible) successful person? She has no idea, but she'll take it.

"Oh shut up!" Regina huffs and Emma snickers.

"What?" she feigns ignorance "I didn't say anything"

Regina shakes her head. "A child, I'm dating a child"

* * *

 

"Wow" that's all Emma has to say. Her jaw is practically on the ground when Regina arrives to her house. In comparison to suburban it is a pretty average size house, but in the heart of New York City it is practically a mansion.

She has a private parking spot, for Christ's sake!

They get out of the car and climb the stairs to the main door. When Regina opens the door, Emma loses it.

"Like seriously, how rich are you?" she asks and Regina's look scolds her "Like Donald Trump rich?"

"Don't be ridiculous" is the only thing she says before climbing up the stairs to change.

Emma feels so inadequate to even stand on the expensive looking floor. She stays rooted, moving only her head as she scans the first floor of the house.

It's decorated beautifully, easily would qualify to be one of those houses they show on architecture magazines. The living room is spacious with light gray couches and a fire place. Who has afire place?

The kitchen is pure white with a large wooden island in the middle. It almost looks like the kitchen a chef would have in his house.

The walls are decorated with pictures, most of them black and white, of the city. However, it is not the classic kind of photos. They're captivating in their own way, in their simplicity. Like someone has skipped the pretentiousness photographers sometimes have and chose to present the city as the average person sees it. Pictures of the streets, molded buildings and newspaper stands as well as pictures of green contrasted by concrete where the line between nature and urbanism blurs. Each picture holds a story, from the Chinese woman feeding the birds to the young woman with a briefcase standing in front of a skyscraper.

"Why didn't you grab a sit?" Regina inquires and startles the shit out of Emma, enough to almost make her budge of the tiny circle she assigned herself.

"Oh no I'm fine" she is quick to assure. Regina doesn’t seem to buy it, but she moves on nonetheless.

"Would you like something to drink?" she says as she fishes out some coconut water and Emma can't help but roll her eyes, god, it is so Regina to like those types of things.

"I'm fine, thank you"

"Are you sure? How about some coffee?"

"Are you suggesting that I look tired?" she jokes, but apparently it's not a good subject to joke about.

"If you have the slightest of doubt thinking I was not aware of you staying up all night, erase it." She says and her demeanor is serious, caring. Emma deflates.

"I'm fine"

"I'm sure you are" she replies sarcastically.

"How about you stop acting like my mother?" she is angry now. How hard is to understand that she doesn't want to discuss this?

Regina takes a deep breath "I'm sorry" and just like that, Emma doesn't have anger in her anymore.

"It's fine"

"I'm just worried. How about you take the day off?" she suggests but Emma is quick to decline.

"I can't"

"Why?"

"Can't afford not working" she reasons.

"You know sick days and off days are still included in your paycheck right?" she asks incredulously.

"They are?"

"Of course they are, why wouldn't they?"

Emma scuffs "Well excuse me for working at jobs that pay only when I work. When you waiter, if you don't work you don't get money."

Regina looks like it has just occurred to her.

"Oh"

"Yeah"

"Well, now that you know it won't hurt your paycheck, why don't you take a day off and rest."

"I don't think it's a god idea, I'll need those for later."

Regina frowns "Why?" when Emma doesn't answer she tries again "Is it related to what happened last night?"

Emma swallows thickly "Yes"

* * *

 

The day is almost over when Emma realizes that she can't hold it in anymore.

She knocks on the door, a muffled 'yes' is heard shortly after.

"Hey" she says shyly and Regina smiles at her.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Of course, come on in"

Regina makes a move to get up but pauses when Emma moves to stand next to the window, facing the incredible view this town provides.

"It's my ex" she says quietly and Regina doesn't need context to understand what she is referring to. She keeps quiet and lets Emma spill whatever it is that bothers her.

"When I lived in Boston I worked for Baronio's catering services. That's how I had enough money to move here." She says, her eyes still unfocused, directed at the buildings in front of her. "I dated Neal, the owner's son and Tony was like a father to me. Honestly, he took care of me, I wouldn't be here otherwise." She takes a breath and continues "Anyway, Neal called yesterday. I nearly hung up in his face, you see, he wanted us together even after we broke up. Awkward." She chuckles, but there is no real amusement there.

"He called to say his dad, was involved in an accident. He is in coma, has been for a couple of days now." She says and she has no doubt her eyes a grey now, they always change from green to grey when she is truly sad.

"There is a slight chance he will wake up but they don't really have the funds to keep connected to the machines for long." She turns to look at Regina ,her eyes sparkle with a layer of unshed tears.

"He called to say they will cut him off in six days if nothing changes." Her voice wavers, and the tears she refuses to shed are evident in her cracked voice.

"He was the closest thing I had to a family."

When she looks up to Regina, she knows it's all sad and helpless since she is silently asking her to do something, to fix what she can't. She knows she can't, but it doesn't stop her from putting all of her faith in this resourceful woman.

But Regina can't do anything, can't even hug her in that stupid see-through office.

"Emma…" is all she said but it conveys everything she wants to say but can't, won't, in this office. There is a thin line between feeling for you and feeling sorry for you. Emma hates that feeling of being pitied, she doesn't need anyone's mercy. That's why she usually doesn't share those things. Yet somehow, Regina isn't pressing that point in her that makes her want to run. This is not pity that she is conveying, it's not patronizing, it's merely sadness that Emma is in pain. Sadness accompanied by a promise; that when they're alone and she will wrap her hands around her and try to kiss some of the pain away. And for that, she is thankful.

"I know"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like now we finally dive into the storyline... And god, how I missed their banter. Anyway, for any question or request you can comment, send me an email or follow me on twitter (which would probably be the fastest way to reach me) all under the same name- lifein10s


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the slight delay… work has taken over my life, plus I wanted to post this new one-shot I've written (the name will be in the end notes). Anyway, enjoy…

"I want to come with you"

At first Emma has no clue what she is referring to.

"Would you let me come with you to Boston this weekend?"

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why do you want to come with me?"

She asks because she honestly can't come up with a single reason Regina would like to spend her weekend, and some of her off days, on being in a funeral for a person she doesn't even know, in a city five hours away from her home.

Regina looks at her as if she has gone mad. Regardless, she takes her hand and squeezes "I want to be there with you, for you." she says and it's so simple yet so deep that Emma has this sudden urge to cry. She doesn't though, instead she bend over and kisses the breath out of Regina. Hoping she can convey everything she feels in a way other than talking.

* * *

 

"Come on! Regina you can't be serious" she is embarrassed to the point of angry.

"No"

She huffs angrily "You don't honestly expect me to let you pay for the gas right? The reason we're going there in the first place is because of me."

"Still" she says and Emma swears this woman will be the death of her. Regardless, this is too much.

"Just like we'll split the hotel expanses" she reasons and Regina sends her an apologetic and, oh so guilty, look. Emma's eyebrows shot up.

"Don't you even dare-" she hisses but she doesn't get the chance to finish her sentence.

"It's done, I already paid for it."

"Regina" she slumps, her hands go to hold her temples "I can't just let you pay for me."

"Well, I insist" Regina holds her ground.

Emma stands at a crossroad, does she let Regina pay yet again and make Emma feel bad about it or does she makes a conscious choice and explains why this situation causes her discomfort? Doing this will be lowering yet another wall and she isn't sure she is ready for it. But, it can't be a constant theme in their relationship or else it will create cracks beyond repair.

"Regina," she says quietly, voice laced with insecurity "when you insist on paying on everything- it's just… I'm just-" she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes "it makes me feel this tiny" she gestures with her hand, placing her thumb and forefinger inch apart.

"I-" it's Regina's turn to feel uncomfortable, she looks truly ashamed of not thinking about that aspect until now. "How about," she tries, her voice careful "I'll pay for the hotel and you'll pay for the gas, we'll settle."

It's hardly any settlement since these two amounts of money don't even near each other. Yet, it is a step in the right direction and Emma finds herself hesitantly nodding. That seems to calm Regina down but she still adds

"I'm sorry of I made you feel uncomfortable. I do wish you would try to understand that this is my way of caring for people; my money doesn’t worth a penny to me unless I can spend it on people dear to my heart. With that said, I will try to think about how it makes you feel and I want you to never be afraid of voicing your thoughts out loud."

"That's okay" she mumbles despite knowing this subject is going to prove an issue.

Emma can barely afford living, how the hell is she going to be able to afford being Regina's girlfriend? If there's one thing Emma can't stand is feeling dependent. She can't go around letting Regina pay for everything but she can't as well buy her nice things and pamper her like she should be pampered.

It may be not as bad now as it will be once their relationship progresses but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that in the end money will be an issue. An issue Emma fears will put a lot of strain on their relationship.

But this is not for now, she determines, this is for later with a glass of beer and a lot of time to try and figure out how the hell she solves that problem.

Instead she smiles tightly at Regina and takes another sip of her coffee.

* * *

 

"So?"

"Mmm?" Emma is drawn out of her internal world again. God knows it got her into a lot of trouble in high school.  But Mary Margaret is as patient as ever. It makes Emma wonder whether she is kind of an A class dominatrix that beats the crap out of people. That is the only solution she can come up with on why the pixie haired brunette never even approaches the angry zone. I mean, seriously, no one is that happy past the age four and she is being generous here.

"I asked which one do you like best?" she asks again and shoves the magazine in her face. To Emma they both look the same. If you ask her, on the right there's a white wedding dress, on the left there's a white wedding dress. See? The same.

"I-" she mumbles "I really don't have a preference" she says diplomatically, looks like Regina's skills are wearing off on her.

Mary Margaret huffs "How am I supposed to choose? They're both so pretty!" she looks so sad about the prospect of elimination and Emma just stares dumbly at her.

"Err" she says because she has no idea how to handle that 'crisis'. If you ask her, they're both horrendous.

"Emma? A moment please" Regina calls from her office and Emma hasn't been more relieved in her life. She gestures Mary Margaret to wait and stumbles quickly towards the office.

"Thank you thank you thank you" she repeats while closing the door.

Regina smiles, amused "Hello to you too"

Emma smiles broadly and lets out a breathy "Hey"

Regina groans in response "Don't say it like that, god knows I won't be able to stop myself from taking you in this office. Well," she gestures towards the desk "on this table if we're being accurate."

Emma looks like a deer caught in the headlight. "You do?" she swallows thickly, because god!

Regina lifts a sculptured eyebrow "Of course dear, I have many fantasies" she smirks, looks like Emma is in her net again.

"Mmm?"

"Mmm" Regina confirms and her eyes shine with mirth.

"And what else," she clears her throat, keep it together "would you like to do?" her voice wavers. That was not together Swan.

"Why don't you take a sit and I'll tell you" she drawls and now Emma is certain it's a trap.

She shakes her head "Too dangerous" she determines and Regina chuckles. The brunette might have that type of self-control, but Emma doesn't.

"Wise choice" she says and bites her pen. Jesus, that woman. "How about," she feigns a thinking look "You go back to work and I'll text you some of them?"

Emma's eyes go round "You'd do that?" she inquires, praying to god Regina isn’t just messing with her.

She chuckles throatily "Would you like me to?"

Emma is so quick to nod it is almost comical.

"Mmm. I'll think about it."

Emma makes a turn to leave.

"Wait," she lifts a couple of papers "Here's your signed off days." She hands them to Emma who frowns in response.

"I'm your supervisor, I need to sign those." She informs, answering the unvoiced question.

"Okay" she takes them to hand off to Kathryn. When she is almost out the door Regina adds

"Which is one of my fantasies," She says in a husky voice "Boss you around"

Emma swallows and leaves the room. What has she got herself into?

* * *

 

She is in a conference meeting, assisting Kathryn when the first text arrives. She takes out her buzzing device and glances under the table. She almost chokes when she sees it.

**_Regina_ ** _\- I think what I would do first is tie you to the bed. I don't think there's anything more enticing than seeing you bound and unable to move. Mmm yes, that sounds probably right. Then I'll run my hands all over you until you're writhing, begging for attention._

Emma swallows deeply, Jesus Christ! She is going to die if Regina keeps that line of thought. Surprisingly so, Regina is extremely good in that whole sexting thing. It's like her authoritative demeanor and language play a very sexy role in that game.

Emma bites her lip when the phone vibrates again, here we go.

**_Regina_ ** _\- That's when I'll cover your eyes. I'll give you a little nip, just to have you know what you're missing and then I'll leave._

Emma's brows furrow, wondering where is she going with it.

It takes Regina a minute but then there is a long paragraph in front of Emma. She glances up, making sure she isn't drawing any attention and then starts reading.

**_Regina_ ** _\- After a good few minutes of you anxiously waiting for something to happen I will come back. It won't be long before you'll hear the familiar buzzing sound. You'd twist and turn, trying to find release while you hear me finding mine. My guess is that you'd go crazy hearing me moan and smelling my arousal yet knowing you had nothing to do with it. I will though, be nice and let you have a little taste. Once I'm done I'll tie your legs so far apart and feast on what I'm sure I'll find between your lovely creamy thighs. Think release will come fast? Try again. I'll deny it of you until you won't see straight. Then, I'll give it to you again and again. You see, I read somewhere that a large percentage of women are capable of squirting given the right stimulation and I intend on finding out if you are one of the lucky ladies._

Emma draws in a sharp intake of breath, barely managing to hold the moan in. Glancing at the clock, it's only twenty minutes and then it's lunch break. She squeezes her legs together to no avail. Damn Regina and her inexplicable ability to influence her even through texts. Not giving up yet, she quickly replies.

**_Emma_ ** _\- Fuck, Regina!_

**_Regina_ ** _\- You're welcome dear._

**_Emma_ ** _\- Now that you've created a problem, it is your responsibility to take care of it._

**_Regina_ ** _\- As much as I'd love to, we are at work. You know the rules._

**_Emma_ ** _\- That's what bathrooms are for._

**_Regina_ ** _\- I will not engage in sexual activity in public restrooms like some common and degraded human being._

**_Emma_ ** _\- Fine, I'll find someone else to help me with my problem._

Emma smirks, poking Regina's jealous side is probably one of her favorite things to do. And not very difficult either.

**_Regina_ ** _\- You wouldn't dare._

Emma can practically see her eyes boring into her with a deadly look. Maybe she is playing with fire, but she wasn't the one who started this.

**_Emma_ ** _\- Well, since you refuse…_

**_Regina_ ** _\- Emma Swan, if I just as much as see you glance towards the bathrooms you are doomed._

Emma decides to poke a little further.

**_Emma_ ** _\- Maybe, but at least satisfied. I might have to return the favor though…_

Nothing comes back for minutes and Emma bites her lip in anticipation, almost smiling, as she waits for Regina's move.

The time ticks, two minutes, five minutes and then the door opens and a furious, you can almost say enraged, looking Regina walks in.

"Miss Swan, a moment of your time" she is boring into her, her mouth a tight line. "Now"

Emma swallows and glances to her side, finding Kathryn looking at her petrified since everyone knows you don't mess with the 'Evil Queen'. Emma picks up her stuff and approaches the door, on the verge of moaning when her almost too tight jeans finally rub her center.

She glances at Regina, still smirking. The brunette raises her eyebrow in response before gesturing towards the hall.

"Follows me" she instructs without looking back and Emma follows. Even if she going to get killed now, she follows, because honestly who wouldn't?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know, another cliffhanger. I think it keeps things interesting…
> 
> If you're looking for another story to read while you wait for the next update, go check out my new one-shot "Truth or Drink". It's humor, alcohol and sexy time all in one place :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexual content.

 

Time stretches as Emma follows the brunette, probably to her death. Yet despite the fear settling in her stomach she can't help but feeling her state of arousal only growing. The fact that Regina marches so quickly makes her hips sway and her butt stick out. Emma is staring to the point of oblivion.

When they enter a conference room it's when she realizes that she has no idea where they are. It's a rather classic conference room; not too large, with a long table that occupies most of the space. The only difference from the ones she has been in so far is that this one's walls are completely opaque, making it impossible for Emma to see anyone outside the room and vice versa.

She turns to look at Regina who moves past her and locks the door. She looks rather angry and Emma decides that the best move right now is to be quiet.

"What were you thinking?" she spits angrily. Though when Emma focuses on her eyes she realizes it's more of an irritation caused jealousy rather than plain angriness.

"You started it!" she says and immediately closes her eyes at her own stupidity. Really, world class debating skills right there.

"Seriously?" Regina asks incredulously, gesturing wildly with her hands "Is this funny to you?"

"Well kinda" she shrugs and elaborates "I was joking you know, I mean not about the whole getting rid of the problem thing but about the seeking someone else's help."

Regina averts her gaze, breathing in and out, and says nothing. Emma frowns.

"Did you really think I was going to do that?" she inquires, because the last thing she would expect of Regina is to think that she is that easy.

"Of course not" she is quick to assure "I just," she swallows "I get possessive at times" she admits quietly.

Emma snorts "No shit"

Regina sends deadly look her way. But other than that Emma feels like the storm is pretty much over.

"So…" she drawls after a moment of silence "Are you going to help me?"

It's Regina's turn to frown "With?"

Emma rolls her eyes and gestures towards her crotch.

"No," Regina determines "I told you, not at work"

"But I'm so wet!" Emma whines and watches Regina's mouth form into an 'o' shape. Her eyes become a shade darker and her breath is a little heavier.

"Jesus Emma" she exclaims and closes her eyes.

"What?"

"You can't say stuff like these to me, not when we're here and I can't just have my way with you."

Emma swallows in response "You did that in the texts" she tries to reason.

"It's not the same, I didn't have you standing in front me claiming you are wet." She emphasizes the last word, her tongue coming out to lick her bottom lip. Emma's gaze flickers to her mouth for a quick second, before returning to her eyes.

"I'm not just saying it for the effect, I am wet" Emma doesn't know what is going through her head in that moment but she quickly shoves her hand in her pants, eyes fluttering close for the short moment she comes in touch with her swollen folds. She brings it out, her forefinger coated with liquid. "See?"

Regina nearly chokes at the sight, eyes bulging "Emma" she says breathily.

"I was just making a point" she says and cleans her finger with her tongue. It's not like she haven't tasted it before.

Her finger isn't out of her mouth and Regina is all in her personal space. "You are so sexy" she mumbles, inches from Emma's lips. Regina using that tone makes Emma's knees wobbly. "And then you torture me with it."

"I-"

But Regina's lips are on hers before she manages to say a word. The kiss is needy, forceful as Regina barges into her mouth, tongue mapping every surface in reach. Her hands cup Emma's cheeks, making it impossible for her to move. Regina moans at the remains of Emma's arousal on her tongue.

It is gone as soon as it arrived and Regina breaks the kiss, leaving them both heavily breathing.

Still mere inches away Regina promises "You're going to pay for it" she smirks her sinister, I know something that you don’t, smirk. Emma opens her mouth to react but Regina rushes to the door, opens it forcefully and leaves Emma by herself.

Fuck, she is deep shit.  

* * *

 

Emma is making her way home when her phone buzzes with an incoming massage.

**_Regina_ ** _\- Are you working tonight?_

She quickly types a response.

**_Emma_ ** _\- No, why? Want to grab dinner somewhere?_

Regina doesn't bother answering her question, merely responding with

**_Regina_ ** _\- I'll drop by around nine._

* * *

 

It's nine p.m. sharp when Emma hears the knocks.

"Hey" she says and moves aside to let Regina in.

"How are you?" she asks while the brunette places her bag on the table, yet to say a single word.

"Good" she answers and turns around, holding two pieces of fabric in her hands matching with her smirk.

"What is that?" Emma asks, a little nervous. Regina approaches her slowly.

"Oh that old thing?" she feigns ignorance "Just my promised revenge"

As Regina walks forward, Emma walks backwards, trying to maintain some distance. Though she is soon to fail, realizing Regina backed her up to her bed. Once the back of her knees hit the mattress, Regina closes the distance and shoves her, making her fall on her back. She climbs on top of her, straddling her, and starts fiddling with the fabric.

Not knowing what to say Emma goes with "I thought maybe we could grab something to eat"

Regina smirks while tying one of Emma's hands to the head of the bed.

"I'm not hungry" she says while securing the knot "Not for food at least"

Emma swallows in response. Regina bends over, closing the distance between them and kisses her passionately. It's only when Emma moves her hands in attempt to comb them through Regina's hair that she realizes that she is bound. She shakes her hands in an attempt to loosen the knots but nothing happens.

Regina breaks the kiss, chuckling throatily and shaking her hand.

"Regina" Emma sighs somewhere between frustrated to turned on.

"Mmm?" she says and starts prepping kisses all over Emma's jaw line, neck and clavicle. Her hands run all over the blonde's form, making her squirm.

"Let me touch you" she pleads, her tone already a lot more airy than usual. She closes her eyes when Regina's skilled fingers ghost over her ribs, getting closer and closer to a much more sensitive territory.

"I don't think so," she determines and sucks right under Emma's ear, eliciting a throaty moan. "This is my revenge remember? You don't get to touch."

Regina starts grinding her hips. The action doesn't really provide much friction, but the motion itself and the idea behind it is enough to drive Emma crazy with arousal.

"Don't worry," she whispers in her ear while kneading her shirt clad breasts. "We're not having any firsts today, only things we've done in the past." She assures. That is not something Emma would actively think about right now, but she is grateful that Regina brought this up. Knowing that they're on a familiar territory makes relief wash over her body. This is purely for her own torture and nothing else.

"Okay" she breaths out when Regina's tongue starts circling her neck, making her squeeze her legs in search for relief. She would admit though, being tied up like this does nothing but to spike her arousal to a whole new level. Despite her being constricted movement wise, there is something liberating about being able to let go and let someone else take charge. Knowing that she can't do anything and because of it isn't expected to do anything in that situation removes the pressure of preforming. Actually, all that is expected of her in this moment is to crave Regina and be denied of her, that role she can fill perfectly.

Regina lifts herself up and starts unbuttoning her shirt. Emma's heart slams to her throat, beating faster at every new inch of revealed skin. There honestly isn't anything more beautiful that the sight in front of her eyes; Regina drops her shirt, revealing tanned olive skin, shiny and flawless. Her round mounds, constricted by a lace bra, create an ample cleavage, making it very hard for Emma to breath. Her taught stomach ripples as she grinds faster against Emma.

Regina fondles her own breasts, closing her eyes and tilting her head back while sliding back and forth on Emma's lower abdomen. Emma's eyes jump from sight to sight, not wanting to miss anything; from the hips rubbing against her, to the slim fingers tweaking the now hardened nipples and to the pleasure filled expression on the brunette's face.

Emma moans appreciatively, pulling hard on her restrains. The need to touch, the need to join in is bigger than anything she is currently feeling. "Fuck Regina" she exclaims when the brunette swallows thickly, going faster and harder.

"I'm getting closer" she breaths out, one hand comes to rest on Emma's ribs, helping Regina to acquire a better leverage. "I'm going to come on you Emma, is that okay?"

Emma bites her lip to stop the moan from rippling through her throat. She jerks her head in a nodding motion and sighs "Please"

Regina swallows thickly, her breaths shallower and rapid as she nears her orgasm. The heat radiating from her center drives Emma crazy to the point she can barely keep her eyes open. But she pushes through it and keeps them open until Regina goes rigid, cries out and crashes on top of her.

They both breathe heavily, Regina from her orgasm, Emma from the Ludacris amount of desire that overloads her system in that moment.

"You have no idea what you do to me" Regina breaths in her ear, her hot breaths cause shivers down Emma's spine.

"Mmm" is all Emma can say. She swallows thickly, her throat dry. "I need to-" she closes her eyes "Fuck Regina, I have to…" she trails off but Regina gets the massage.

"Just like last time?" she questions and Emma nods.

"Yeah that's fine, anything just-" she bites her lips when Regina's hands lift her shirt up until she uncovers her bra. Regina kisses her boobs, sloppy, open-mouth kisses that make her brain fog.

Soon enough her hands descend down and spread Emma's legs apart. When their hips come in touch Emma lets out a sigh, her hips buckle to get more friction.

She is so turned on it takes her zero time to near her peak. With Regina's ministration and now assault on her neck it's a matter of minutes before she comes with a grunt, her legs trembling as the orgasm washes over her heated body. 

Regina moves off of her after several minutes of simply laying atop of her. Emma misses the heat immediately but Regina quickly situates herself next to Emma. She lays her head on her chest and drapes her arm on Emma's abdomen, drawing circles with her fingertips.

It takes Emma a couple of minutes to get out of the haze she was in.

"Err, Regina?"

"Mmm?" the brunette mumbles sleepily.

"My hands" she reminds her and the brunette is suddenly very awake.

"Right" she says and fiddles with the knots until Emma's hands are free. "Sorry" she mumbles as she kisses the faded red lines that appear on Emma's wrists.

"It's okay" she assures and Regina re-situates herself in her prior position only now Emma wraps her hands around her form.

It's when they lay there, perfectly content, that Emma knows that she has made the right decision by giving this another chance. Yes, there a lot of things to work on, trust issues, commitment issues, money issues, you name it. Still, with all of the difficulties they are bound to experience, these precious little moments where Emma actually feel like she is home, those moments are worth the bad ones.

She kisses the top of Regina's head fondly and the brunette hums in response.

"So, were you tortured?" Regina asks with a smile evident in her voice, knowing that this was nowhere near torture to neither one of them. Emma can't stop her smile as well when she answers.

"Absolutely" she chuckles.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I've been feeling unwell for a couple of days now… Luckily, I had a few chapters written in advance so it didn't really affect my updates so far (Now though, I ran out). I hope it will get better, and until then, apologies for the comments I've yet to respond to and potentially delayed updates.

It's Friday and Emma's nerves drive her crazy. She knows it was coming for several days now, still the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach drowns her entire mood for the day.

Mary Margaret senses her shift in mood and keeps her distance, only once approaching her with a cop of coco in her hand. Emma sends her a grateful look and takes a sip.

"Cinnamon?" she asks surprised.

"Yeah" May Margaret shrugs "Ruby told me"

This is so simple yet so deep at the same time and Emma feels the ping in her heart, a wave of liquid warmth at the so small gestures, with such a large meaning behind it.

"Thank you" she says, her voice slightly wavering with emotion; a good one, but emotion regardless.

"Sure" the brunette is quick to assure "Me and David are going to this new place, Asian food, supposed to be great. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh, I wouldn't won't to impose…"

 "Nonsense" Mary Margaret determines "I insist. Besides, David misses you." 

"Well, okay then."

Emma will be the first one to admit that since she started seeing Regina she has abandoned any other responsibly of hers. Yes, she also works at the restaurant but that's about it. She spends all of her spare time with the brunette or thinking about her. She totally neglected Mary Margaret and let's not even mention poor Ruby, who hadn't seen her for their traditional afternoon coffee for days now. She can't have her best friends treating her so kindly when she is ill only to dismiss her the minute she gets better. This needs to change. She'll start with that lunch and she will hang out with Ruby as soon as she can. Might even be today since she and Regina are taking off to Boston the next morning. She makes a mental note to text Ruby later on.

Mary Margaret moves to her seat and Emma glances towards the glass office. She locks eyes with Regina for a quick moment before getting up.

"I forgot Regina called for me." She says as she grabs her cop.

"You should go then," Mary Margaret eats her lie right up, not bothering to avert her glance from the screen "You don't want her to get upset."

She knocks on the door and hears a muffled "Come in"

"Hey" she smiles as she approaches the desk. She takes a seat and waits for Regina to finish whatever it is that she is doing.

"Just a second," Regina mumbles, eyes on the screen "I need to finish this." She types furiously.

"No problem" Emma assures as she sips her coco slowly, enjoying herself. Staring at Regina is better than anything else she could do at the moment. She watches Regina scrunch her face adorably as she tries to read something. Without sparing a glance at Emma she reaches for a drawer and retrieves her reading glasses and places them.

Emma bites her lip at the sight but says nothing.

"Stop staring" Regina commands halfheartedly but a smirk is gracing her face.

"I can't" Emma responds "You're just too pretty." She compliments and Regina finally looks at her and chuckles.

"Be careful Miss Swan, all that sweet talk and I would think you are coming on to me." She winks and Emma bites her lower lip.

"With those glasses? Definitely" she smiles and Regina coaxes and eyebrow.

"Oh really?" she asks as she leans back, her full attention is now devoted to Emma. Emma nods vigorously.

"You're too sexy for your own good" she determines and Regina throws her head back and laughs.

Emma shrugs in response, because she is. Regina is so gorgeous Emma fails to understand what she is doing with her. Emma is not ugly, and she knows it by the attention she gets and generally by the standards society places; she is blonde, slim, athletic yet curved with bright eyes and a pretty smile. But Regina, ugh Regina is on a whole other level. Those voluptuous lips, chocolate eyes, silky hair and damn those curves, all of these make her a goddess.

"What are you drinking?" Regina pulls her out of her head.

"Chocolate milk with cinnamon"

"With cinnamon?"

"Yes, I really like my coco with cinnamon"

"How come I don't know that?" Regina seems bothered by that fact and Emma shrugs.

"When did you get it? You set in your desk for the last hour." Emma tames the urge to bite Regina for spying on her but she drops it.

"Mary Margaret brought to me, she saw that I was upset."

"I see" Regina looks slightly hurt by that answer and Emma rewinds the conversation in her head to no avail; she has no idea what she said to hurt her.

"I'm sorry" Emma shakes her head "Did I offend you?"

"Oh no no" Regina moves to grab her hand in assurance but stops herself mere inches away. Her hands twist in her lap instead. "I just- I wish I would be the one trying to cheer you up rather than Mary Margaret." She says quietly.

"It's okay, Regina" Emma quickly says "I don't expect you to be there every second of the day, especially not in here" she gestures to the office.

"I know, and I understand it. It doesn't mean that I like it."

They sit in quiet, Emma staring out the window and Regina staring at her.

"We didn't go out in a while" Regina says eventually "Do you want to grab dinner tonight?"

Emma sighs and cringes "I kind of thought to hang out with Ruby today." Regina nods and Emma feels the urge to explain herself better "You see, I haven't seen her in a long while, I spend most my time with you and none at all with her. Besides, we're going for the weekend so I'm not going to see her. She needs to know I'm still her friend, especially since she is not aware to the fact I'm seeing someone."

Regina seems to understand and she smiles weakly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yes, I'll be ready at eight. And I promise we'll do something in Boston, you have my word."

* * *

 

"I think hell froze over" is the first thing Ruby says when Emma enters Granny. Emma rolls her eyes at the dramatic display.

"Come on Rub's"

But Ruby grab Granny's arm and points towards Emma "Remember her? She used to eat here like a year ago"

Obviously, Granny doesn't have the time nor the patience for Ruby's game. She swats her hand away. "You might be on a break but I got work to do." She says sternly and moves back to the kitchen. Emma can hear her muffled "Where is order nine?! It should be in my hand right about, I don't know, ten minutes ago!"

"Coffee?" Ruby asks and she nods.

They both take a sit in one of the booths and sip the warm liquid slowly.

"I'm sorry" Emma sighs, Ruby merely drinks her coffee, giving Emma the stage. "I know it's not an excuse but I've been swamped with work from here to China and I completely abandoned my role as your friend. So now I'm making up it," she smiled meekly "How's everything?"

Ruby isn't a grudge holder and Emma is grateful when the brunette seems to hold no hard feeling as she starts babbling on what Emma has been missing in the past couple of days.

"So, how about you?" Ruby asks after a full rant on how Granny needs to hire more people.

Emma chews her lips in contemplation. There are two subjects on her mind as of late. Since the first one is Regina and is in no way something she can discuss yet, she goes for the second thing that has been bothering her for quite some time now.

"Well, remember how I told you I was going to lay off work a little once I get my shit together?"

The brunette nods, remembering their conversation about when the fuck Emma is going to clear her weekend schedule so they can go out.

"So now I kind of have it together and I'm pretty stable financially so I can take shifts off and work like two days a week. The thing is, I realize I have tons of time now and I've been thinking about how I can fill it."

"And?"

Maybe it's being in the company that she is around all day, maybe it's seeing how Regina is and maybe it was bound to hit her sometime regardless of her current situation; the fact remains the same, Emma feels inadequate and wants to change it. She knows thinking about a degree is too high of an achievement for now and she is all about taking baby steps. The idea has been sitting in the back of her mind for a while now, taking a class or two in the evenings and see how it goes from there. First of all, it is going to benefit her immensely; starting from the social aspect, to the intellectual interest and ending with the actual advantage it might give her in regards to her job. And second, well it will give her something to do and some kind of confidence to keep her standing when she is around Regina.

Emma was never really bothered by her lack of education. She knew she was smart and hardworking and a stupid piece of paper only indicated that she spent a lot of money and nothing else. But lately Emma has this crippling notion that in addition to being several levels under Regina, financially, class and success wise, she was also intellectually inferior. She feared the day they would stop sneaking around and actually have the time to sit and have a talk, she feared the day their sexual chemistry will calm down and Regina will see bright and clear that Emma isn't anywhere near what she deserves.

She can't be wealthy nor successful in a day, damn not even in a year; but she can work on her education a little, it might even open up other employment options.

Regardless of it being a positive idea on several levels, Emma felt uncomfortable sharing it with the brunette. Talking to her about it would be equivalent to aiming the spotlight on another area in life in which Regina is a rock-star and she is, well, not.

But Ruby, Ruby understands and she sounds genuinely impressed by the idea and Emma. She misses that feeling, this feeling of self-worth. She can't have that with Regina, this woman has done anything and everything in the book of achievements and for once it's nice seeing Ruby look at her with pure admiration.

Emma also tells her about the whole Neal situation and Ruby winces and squeezes her hand, exactly like a good friend should. She asks her if she wants her to come along, for support. Emma smiles sadly and explains that this is something she should do alone. Emma hates lying to her like that, there is nothing she would want more then to run over to Ruby and tell her everything about Regina, about this amazing beautiful woman she has been seeing who provokes feelings in her she didn’t even new existed. But she can't, not yet.

And when the brunette tries to direct the conversation to the whole drunken Emma situation that occurred merely a week ago Emma promises with a hand on her heart that she will explain when the time is right.

Emma herself doesn't have a clue when she will feel safe sharing this information with her best friend but she does her best inserting large amounts of confidence in that promise and luckily for her, Ruby swallows it whole.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> A massive thank you to all of you who commented and wished me well! I am much better now and already writing furiously the next few chapters. I know I don't say it nearly enough; but I'm so thankful as well as awestruck by the amount of positive reaction this story has gotten. It is my first 'real' story and you guys have been SO supportive, so thank you so very much! And a larger thanks to those of you who care, who like and comment and ask about the story every single chapter- you are so appreciated!

 

 "Remind me why are we doing this again?" Emma groaned into her coffee. Regina rolled her eyes in return.

"This is for you Emma, how can you even ask this?"

"No I know why we're doing this" she gestures wildly to the car and the other passenger in it. "What I don't understand is how did I let you convince me to do this so early?" she whines.

They're long past the city, now driving on the highway, surrounded by green. Emma can spot the landscape changing and she knows soon it will be familiar enough to cause dread all over her body.

"Emma?" Regina pulls her out her head.

"Mmm?" she turns to look at her, knowing she probably zoned out for a good minute.

"I said, that's how you dodge traffic. Do you honestly wish to spend another hour in New York alone just for the sake of sleeping a little more?" she inquires but she doesn't really expect an answer. Emma shrugs.

"Are you alright?" concern lacing her voice. Emma has been pretty quiet for most of the drive. At first she associated it with the whole situation and how uncomfortable Emma must feel. Now, she was suspecting there is something more.

"I'm fine" Emma is quick to assure and Regina sends an incredulous look her way.

"Okay" Regina drawls "if you want to tell me, I'm not going anywhere for the next" she looks at the dashboard "two hours"

They sit in silence for a couple more minutes until Emma relents.

"It's just," she sighs "I grew up in South Boston, not the nicest neighborhood and definitely not with the Harvard type of people. It is ugly, messy, and dangerous. The fact that I made it somehow resembling to normal, well that's a miracle. Not to say there aren't good people there, because there are. But there are also bad people, drugs, prostitution, violence, gangs. I'd be happy to show you only the good side of the city but unfortunately we're going to have to get to this area. I'm worried you'll turn on your heels and run."

Regina chews her lip.

"It takes more than a couple of wild teens to scare me off" she says sternly.

"That's not what I-" she scratches the back of her neck "that's not what I meant" she says quietly and Regina seem to finally catch on. She frowns.

"Emma," she says and reaches for her hand, squeezing it "I don't care where you come from, it's not going to make me think less of you."

Emma turns her head to stare at the trees.

"Will see about that one."

* * *

 

"Regina!" she exclaims.

"What?"

"You're crazy"

The brunette huffs and moves towards the reception.

"Hey" the receptionist greets cheerfully "How may I help you?"

"I made reservations, Regina Mills" she says while Emma turns to scan the large luxurious lobby.

"One moment please" she types furiously as she searches for her name in the computer.

"This is crazy" Emma whispers in Regina's ear.

"I have standards" she replies and Emma snorts in response.

"Says the woman who spent two nights already in my awfully cheap queen size bed in my tiny apartment."

Regina purses her lips in return. The woman hands her the key and Regina starts walking towards the elevator, Emma following close behind.

"Well?" she pushes, feeling for once what it's like to have the upper hand.

"Would you rather I didn't spend the night with you at all?" she inquires, her eyebrow raised.

"That's not what I said" she frowns. How did she lose already?

"That's what I thought" Regina smirks and pushes the button.

Emma glances to her hands where she can spot only two room keys.

"We're in the same room?" she asks surprised "that's a little pretensions coming from a woman who just threatened to stop spending nights with me, don't you think?"

"Stop jumping to conclusions, you'll see in a minute."

And indeed how she sees. They large suite is spacious and luxurious in a way that makes Emma wince; a night in here is probably equivalent to her monthly salary.

"Wow" is all she says when Regina places her things near the couch.

"This suite has three rooms in it, each has a king size bed. You can choose which one you like best."

"Huh?" Emma is still dumfounded by her surroundings.

Regina approaches her, snaking her hands around her waist and tugging her forward.

"Still want to split the coast?" she teases with a smirk.

Emma takes a look around "I might have to sell a couple of organs to do that." She retorts and Regina chuckles.

"Well then I'd like to buy some of them."

"Oh really?" it's Emma's turn to smirk "May I ask which ones?"

Regina leans in a whispers in her ear. "Well, for a start I'd like your heart." She finishes with a nibble and Emma sighs.

"You've got that one already" she says breathily as Regina starts nipping at her jaw. "What else?"

"Mmm let me think. I'd like your hands to hold, your mouth to kiss, your breasts squeeze, your ass to grab and last but not least, well you know which one." She licks a long line from the base of her throat to her chin.

"I guess that could be arranged" Emma breathes out with her eyes closed, bound to surprise when Regina takes her mouth passionately.

Their kiss seem to last forever, tongues rubbing, teeth nipping, hands wandering, claiming. The need for air force them to part, both breathing heavily.

But Emma is nowhere near done. She goes for Regina's neck, kissing and licking while her hand wrap around her thighs. In a swipe move she hoists her up, wrapping her legs around her mid-section. Regina gasps.

"Emma" she says while the blonde moves to kissing the valley between her breasts. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to bed" she says as if it's the most obvious thing at the moment.

"You can't" she breathes out "I booked a reservation"

"We'll be quick" Emma finally reaches the bed and she bends down, until Regina is laying on the bed with Emma on top of her. Before she registers what is happening the tables are turned and Regina has Emma's hands secured above her head.

How the fuck did that happen? Though to say she isn't really turned on by Regina's strength would be a lie.

"We won't be quick" Regina determines and Emma pouts.

"Why not?"

"Because, I want to cherish you properly and I want us to savor each and every moment." She says calmly "we can't do that when we're in a rush and also not when you head is obviously somewhere else."

Emma pauses for a minute and then nods, understanding.

"Besides" she raises her eyebrow "there is no way we're doing anything like _that_ to me with your hands looking like that." She brings her hands in front of her face and Emma frowns. Her hands are clean.

"Why?"

Regina's finger-pads move over her nails. Emma still doesn't understand; yes their not painted but their long and beautiful so the problem with it is still a secret in Emma's eyes.

"I don't follow" she admits after a long moment of Regina pointing at her nails with an accusing look.

"They're long" Regina exclaims eventually.

"And?"

"You can't put those anywhere near a vagina, they will scratch and hurt it once they're inside."

"Oh" Realization finally downs on her and she turns crimson red.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think-" she avoids eye contact "I didn't realize-"

Regina stops her with a peck on her lips.

"It's okay, I don't expect you to know that, I know you don’t have experience with woman."

Emma groans and tries to free herself out of the brunette's hold. Going to the bathroom and flushing her head in the toilet seems like a good course of action at the moment.

"This is so embarrassing" she says, still trying to free herself to no avail "Let me go" she pleads.

"No" Regina responds, amused "I find it incredibly endearing, being the one who shows you everything, mmm" she moans and she shakes her head at the thought.

"I'm going to make you see stars." She promises and Emma gulps.

"I don't doubt that, it's just-" she stops herself, casting her looks sideways "never mind"

"No" Regina says and shakes their combined hands "tell me" she pleads.

Emma sighs and closes her eyes, it's easier confessing when she doesn't have to face the person.

"It's not you pleasuring me I'm worried about, but the other way around…" her voice trails off.

"Oh Emma" she sighs "I really wish you'd think more of yourself. You walk around claiming I'm so much better than you when in fact, you're the one who makes me laugh the most. Or at all if we're being honest. You call yourself insecure and you omit the fact that with our clothes on and your so called 'no experience'" she air-quotes with her fingers, releasing Emma, who continues to lie there, staring up at her.

"You made me orgasm. And if the fact that I'm crazy jealous when anyone with a pulse is around you isn't enough for you to start looking at yourself with appreciation, well then I'll help: I will tell you how beautiful, smart, resourceful and simply endearing you are until you'll believe it. I mean you're shyness and humbleness is adorable but I do not wish for you to spend your life thinking less of yourself just because you didn't have people telling you how much you worth until now. I'll do that for you."

Regina takes a large gulp of air after her improvised speech. Emma looks up and locks their gaze.

"I-" she stumbles over her words, suddenly feeling very emotional "Thank you" she says shyly.

Regina smiles down at her "You're very welcome" she leans down for a quick kiss but Emma's uses the momentum and flips them over, instantly deepening the kiss. They make out heatedly before Regina pushes them apart.

"We need to get ready for lunch"

"Fine" she relents and rolls off Regina "What do I wear?" she asks as Regina gets up.

"Something fancy I guess, it's a very classy restaurant."

"And let me guess," Emma rolls her eyes "you're-"

"paying"

"Paying" Regina says with her at the same time. "That's right" she smiles broadly.

* * *

 

_Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit._

Emma stares down at the menu, clueless. If the last place Regina has taken her to seemed like gibberish, well that menu was just plain alien.

Emma clears her throat to get the brunette's attention. When that doesn't work she _'psssts'_ her.

"Mmm?" Regina asks, her eyes still on the menu and Emma's face crumble.

"I don't know what to choose." She says, defeated.

"What do you like?" Regina inquires and Emma rolls her eyes.

"I dunno," she muses "Fries, Burgers, Pizza…" she elaborates and Regina coaxes an eyebrow.

"I meant from this menu" she emphasizes, with her 'duh' tone.

"Well how would I know? It's not like I ever tried anything of those things."

Regina frowns, as if suddenly realizing she isn't sitting with one of her wealthy friends who spent their lives eating in gourmet restaurants as soon as they were able to walk.

"Oh" is all she says.

"Exactly" Emma says bitterly, suddenly she is not in the mood for eating anymore. And for Emma not to be in the mood for food, well, that's a first.

They sit in an awkward silence; Regina chewing her lip, trying to figure out how to go around it and Emma, slumped in her chair with her arms folded, feeling inadequate to the point of ridiculous.

Regina scans the menu, trying to look for something that might sound familiar to Emma; but this is a European cuisine and she doubts Emma will have any idea what those French meals are. Still, she tries.

"How about Scallops?" she inquires and Emma frowns.

"Sca-what?"

"Scallops" she repeats calmly, understanding Emma is in an uncomfortable situation. Not wanting to make it worse, she explains.

"It's clams, seafood" she elaborates and Emma's face contort with disgust.

"Okay, how about a lobster?" she tries again.

"The large red things with the claws they throw in the water while they're still alive?" she asks, already knowing the answer to that question. Regina nods, her lips a thin line.

"No thanks" she says bitterly. Glancing at her lap where her hands are twisting violently she asks quietly "Don't they have like pasta or something? Plain old tomato or cream sauce?"

Her eyes are pleading and Regina sighs "The closest thing they have to pasta is Perno induced noodles with capers and chili."

"I see" she says and swallows thickly. She feels so out of her depth it's humiliating.

She gets up from her chair, meeting Regina's confused look.

"I'm going to the bathroom, order me their bread or something. I'm not that hungry anymore."

She says and turns to head towards the bathroom.

"Emma" she hears Regina calling but she ignores it.

She enters one of the stools and drops herself against the wall. She shuts her eyes forcefully and wills herself not to cry.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe it's chapter 30 already! It's plain crazy… I want to thank all of you guys again for reading this story and sticking with me and my wired obsession with cliffhangers ;)

It takes her a good couple of minutes to pull herself together.

She doesn't cry, merely stares ahead, burning holes into the wall as she tries to organize the thoughts in her head. It's hard to point a finger, this is neither Regina's fault nor Emma's; Regina grew up used to those types of food and Emma can't hold it against her nor expect her to sit down and indulge a cheeseburger in McDonalds. Emma, on the other hand, isn't to be blamed as well; she grew up in the system where food itself was a problem, let alone eating out. When she did eat out, those rare occasions where she would get a good tip or Neal will take her out, they would eat slices of Pizza or any other horrendously cheap junk food they could find. Emma has never experienced good food, let alone great food, so how would she know what a 60 dollar dish tastes like. She probably spent that amount of money on ten meals back at the time.

And that's a whole other story to address to; the amount of money Regina spends on her. To say that Emma is uncomfortable is the understatement of the year. It makes her sick to her stomach to think about the amounts of money Regina casually throws her way as a day to day thing when Emma wrecks her brain and her bank account to find some extra change so she can plan something nice for them. She dreads to think what will happen later on, once they start buying anniversary gifts and birthday gifts.

She lets out a sigh and suddenly she has this urge to throw up.

And the worst thing is that Regina doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. It drives Emma crazy since it's only a matter of time before Emma starts feeling in debt to the point it will mess with her head.

She shakes her head, desperate to run away from those problems for now.

Having those few minutes to herself, she calms down a little. The whole restaurant incident doesn't seem that crucial anymore. Uncomfortable, yes but she is doing this for Regina. Regina, who probably feels very uncomfortable sitting there by herself since Emma so selfishly abandoned her after a tantrum adequate to a four year hold.

She steps out of the stall and fixes her appearance. She takes another calming breath and walks out.

Regina is staring outside the window, oblivious to Emma's presence until the moment her chair is being drawn back, making a noise. She looks up at Emma with a guilty look on her face and Emma feels her heart squeeze with guilt. Regina did nothing wrong, yet she is the one sitting here, feeling bad about herself.

"Emma" she says but Emma cuts her immediately.

"I'm sorry" she tries to send a small smile her way and Regina frowns.

"I acted like a child," she elaborates "I apologies."

Regina shakes her head in disagreement "You have nothing to apologize for,"

"I do" Emma starts again but Regina lifts her hand, silencing Emma.

"You don't, it is my fault, I was selfish and inconsiderate by taking you here."

"Regina, it's not your fault. It's no one's fault. We are different, so different and that causes bumps. I, for example have no idea what good food is, I ate anything that was under five dollar a dish since it's all I could afford. You, on the other hand grew up eating only the best. Which is great, since I wouldn't wish anything less than great for you. That's how things are, we need to learn to accept it." She shrugs and Regina smiles fondly at her.

She remains quite and Emma squirms uncomfortably.

"What?" she finally blurts out.

Regina keeps staring at her with an adoring look before looking down. "Nothing"

Before Emma has the chance to question her about that weird moment, the waiter approaches them.

"Ladies" her greets and places the plates in front of them.

Emma stares in awe. Instead of the bread she asked Regina to order lays a plate with divinely smelling Spaghetti. Plain old tomato sauce and chicken Spaghetti. Emma looks up quizzically at Regina who shrugs in response.

"I asked them to make it for you, off the menu" she says simply, as if it's a regular occurrence.

To Emma, it's not and her chest constricts with this overwhelming wave of feelings that washes over her. She opens her mouth and closes it only to open it again.

"Thank you" she says breathily and reaches out to grab Regina's hand. She squeezes it tightly, trying to convey her feelings, the ones she can't pronounce yet.

They start eating and Emma moans once the first bites lands on her tongue.

"Good?" Regina asks and when Emma nods happily there's no missing her proud smile.

They eat in silence until Emma looks up at her.

"How did you get them to make this for me?"

"What do you mean? I'm a very persuasive woman." Regina answers with a smirk.

"Oh that you are" Emma agrees, her eyes sparkling "But how?"

"I was just being my authoritative scary self and they bent to my will. Like you will soon." She winks and Emma almost chokes. She swallows the bite.

"Yeah, I guess it makes sense" she says, sinking in her seat.

"Well everything but the scary part."

Regina lifts an eyebrow "I am a scary person."

Emma snorts "No you are not." She determines, amused "Assertive, maybe, but not scary."

"Excuse me?" Regina seems to be hurt by that comment.

"Come on, you are adorable."

Regina huffs angrily "Do not, ever, call me adorable. I'm not adorable, I don't do cute." She sneers at the last word and Emma laughs at her attempt.

Unfazed, she continue "Oh yes you are, you're like a teddy bear."

Regina gasps "Do you value your life?" she threatens while pointing her finger at the blonde "Don't ever say that." She folds her hands but her eyes shine with challenge.

"But you are. You are a muffin, you're my muffin." She smiles and Regina tries to maintain her demeanor but the edges of her lips quirk up.

"You muffin?" she asks with a smirk and Emma nods.

"And what happens if someone wants a bite from that muffin?" she muses and gestures to herself.

"No no no." Emma says immediately "that muffin is only mine to eat."

Regina smirks at the comment. It takes Emma a moment to understand the double meaning and her ears go red.

"I mean-" she swallows and Regina laughs throatily.

"Oh no no, please don’t correct yourself. I'm going to go to sleep tonight thinking of you eating my muffin." She empathizes the last three words and Emma, if possible, turns redder. 

* * *

 

It's early afternoon when they get back to their hotel. Regina, still exhausted from the driving, decides to take a nap. Emma knows she will be out for at least an hour or two and uses the time for research.

That day she realized how uninformed she is. Truth to be said, she has no clue about sex with women and she has no intention to keep humiliating herself to the point of pushing Regina away. I mean, who wants to have sex with someone who has no idea what they're doing. Regina might have years of experience as well as actual past relationships with women but Emma has a lot of motivation and dedication.

With her mind set she sits on the couch, opens her laptop and searches the first thing that pops in her head; _'How to have lesbian sex'_

* * *

 

Since they were staying at the Four Season's Hotel, which is only about a mile away from the hospital, they decide to walk by foot.

It's the June and the temperatures are near perfection as the light breeze hits their faces.

They're walking through the park, taking a little detour in favor of showing Regina the city.

"It's beautiful" she says after walking in silence for a while and reaches for Emma's hand. The blonde intertwines their fingers immediately and they continue to stroll near the lake.

"It is" she agrees and Regina sighs in contentment.

"How crazy is it," she muses "that I've been in this city so many times for business yet I've never actually seen it." She shakes her head in disbelief.

"It's a little crazy" Emma agrees, taking a left turn towards Beacon St. "Have you been to a lot of places?"

"Mmm"

"Like?"

"Well, I've been to a lot of countries, from work and in general. Care to be more specific?"

Emma chews her lip.

"Have you ever been in Europe?" she inquires, transfixed. Emma always wanted to see the world, though in reality she barely left Boston and now New York. And that's about it.

"Let's see, I've been to France, Italy, Spain, Germany, Switzerland, England and the list goes on."

"And how's France, Paris?" Emma turns to catch Regina's smile broaden.

"Beautiful," she determines "indeed the most romantic place in the world."

"Wow" Emma looks ahead, her gaze unfocused as she tries to imagine what it would be like strolling in the streets of Paris.

"Yeah," Regina agrees and Emma, so deep in thought misses the fact that she is being watched. "Would you like to go to Paris?"

Emma snorts "Who wouldn't?" she says and Regina nods "I just want to see the world though" she adds quietly "so any country will do…" she shrugs.

"Where have you been so far?"

"Boston and New York" she says simply and Regina's eyebrow's go up.

"Really?" Emma nods "Nothing else?" when the blonde shakes her head Regina's face color in sadness and what might look like pity. Soon it's replaced by determination. "We'll have to change it then" she says and Emma's head snap up.

"Regina don't you dare do anything crazy"

Regina gives her an innocent look but Emma can see the skimming look in her eyes.

"I mean it!" she threatens "I will be so mad if you do this."

"Fine, fine" she dismisses, though Emma knows it's far from over.

They reach the main street and Regina spots a coffee shop. She turns to Emma, smiling.

"How about a coco with cinnamon?"

* * *

 

Emma lets out a breath, looking up at the enormous building.

"It will be okay" Regina assures, reading her thoughts "I'm here for you"

Emma sends a grateful smile her way and enters the building. She is immediately engulfed by that weird clean smell that can only be found in hospitals. The walls are white and the floor almost blinds Emma with its shininess.

Emma searches for the reception and when she finds it she moves to stand in line.

There are five people ahead of them so they both stand patiently, waiting for their turn.

"Err" Emma says and clasps her mouth shut, realizing she has no idea how to ask what she is about to ask.

Regina looks at her with question.

Emma plays with her hands, twisting them to the point of pain.

"So…" she starts again and clears her throat "where I come from, well there aren't many- I mean it's not really a common thing to be-" she scratches the back of neck, her inconvenience waving off her in waves. Apparently it's not lost on Regina.

"Emma" she sighs "Just say it" she pleads and Emma nods.

Looking at the floor she blurts it out quickly "no one here really knows I'm, well, that I'm with you and you're a woman so-"

"I get it" Regina decides to put Emma out of her misery "I'm simply your friend here." She says and Emma looks at her with round eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay with this? I mean if this is offending you-"

Regina places a hand on her forearm and squeezes.

"Calm down Emma, I understand perfectly. As I recall, I already told you my situation with my parents. We're good."

Emma lets out a relieved sigh and nods "Okay, thank you."

"Sure"

The receptionist turns to look at them.

"Hi, how may I help you?"

"Hey," Emma smiles tightly, her voice wavering slightly from the nerves "I'm here to see Tony Baronio"

"Are you family?" she asks politely and Emma responds immediately.

"I'm his daughter" she points at Regina "and she's his niece" she lies without batting an eyelash. She is accustomed to lying, well not so much as of late, but the Boston air seems to bring back some old habits.

"Very well, hold on a second" she types his name in the system, searching for his room number. In the meanwhile Emma glances at Regina who sends a judging look her way. She shrugs and turns back to the desk.

"He is on room 214. It's located in wing B, second floor, follow the numbers."

"Excellent, thank you"

Emma places a hand on Regina's lower back, leading her towards their destination.

"Do you know where wing B is?" Regina inquires.

"I do"

"How come?"

"I've had my fair share of nights spent in this place." She can feel Regina's back stiffen at that.

"Do I dare ask why?" she asks carefully and Emma shrugs, her past might be a sensitive issue in Regina's eyes but this is her life, she is used to it.

"The houses around here aren't that great. Most of the time it's just drunks and gambling addicts who want another income at the end of the month. They forget a child comes with that check as well. That is easily resolved by some violence to keep the kid quiet while they watch their favorite shows." She glances to find Regina's horrored expression, one she is trying miserably to hide to no avail.

"Later on it was a result of me getting into fights and ending up with black eye and a suspicion for internal damage." She elaborates as if it's nothing. Well, to Emma it is nothing. Where she comes from scars and black eyes are part of their everyday life. To Regina, who probably only have seen it in films, it's horrifying.

"Emma" Regina huffs "why did you have to get into fights?" she exclaims and Emma fights the urge to chuckle. Regina chastising her as if it's a current event and she can change things makes her want to roll her eyes. She would be a good mother.

Afraid of where her line of thought is heading she shuts it down immediately and instead answers Regina's question.

"Would you rather I just bend over and let guys have their way with me, simply because they want to?" she inquires and Regina's face contorts in a mixture of emotions; there's anger, disgust, repulsion, sadness, fear.

"Those bastards" she mumbles angrily while shaking her head in disbelief. Emma rubs soothing circles on her back to calm her down. It's only a minute and then she drops her hand completely. Regina turns to look at her quizzically.

Emma gestures with her head towards the plate indicating it's room 214.

"We're here."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing with the change of pace and atmosphere. The next chapters will be quite emotional and filled with events. Also, we get to know more and more about Emma's past which is always interesting.
> 
> It looks like our favorite ladies are getting more and more accustomed to the gaps between their lifestyle and upbringing and start handling their issues slightly better. Thank god ;)


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: feels.

_"We're here"_

* * *

 

Regina joins their hands together for a quick squeeze.

"I'm here" she reminds her again and Emma nods.

She turns to look at the door, taking a deep breath before she enters.

The room is mostly white, with some light green decorations here and there. But besides that, there aren't any real colors. It is also pretty empty, not a lot of personal stuff, no bags not clothes, no flowers or signs. Emma sighs. This is sad, sadder than it should be. She makes a mental note to change it, at least until Tony is… yeah.

Neal is nowhere to be seen, so she turns and heads towards the bed.

Tony is almost the same as the day she left, almost a year ago. Though he is not. There are faded bruises and scratches over his face and arms. He is slightly skinnier and there are numerous tubes and equipment violating his body; starting from the tubes connected through his nose, moving to his mouth and throat and ending with his chest and arms.

The most heartbreaking thing to Emma is his expression. It's neutral and in such evident and painful contradiction to the way he used to be.

Mr. Baronio was never a healthy person. His love for dough and cheese killed him slowly. He was fat, walking slowly and coughing more often than not but there was never a moment he didn't smile; even if not with his whole face, at least with his eyes.

Emma searched frantically for something else to grab onto, since his warm expecting brown eyes were now closed. Failing to do so, she bit her lip in order to keep her emotions at bay and she grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers.

"Hi" she whispers as she squeezed their joined hands while sitting on the side of the bed.

She hears the door close, thankful to Regina for giving them privacy.

"I heard you were causing trouble." She says while her eyes water "pissing Neal off" she lets out a watery laugh, her voice nowhere near stable.

"But I know you, you're probably thinking 'enough about me kiddo, what about you?'" she bites her lip and stares adoringly at him.

"Well I," she continues "Am doing pretty damn well," She wipes a fallen tear from her cheek.

"I have this amazing job and amazing friends who care about me and I live in a beautiful tiny apartment and I'm dating a beautiful woman." She stops to take a deep breath. It is such a bitter sweet moment, Tony being hurt yet seeing him again and talking to him; something she knows she would probably never do unless this happened. And also finally telling someone, even if he can't respond, about Regina lifts some kind of invisible weight off her chest.

"Why a woman?" she asks herself since Tony can't.

"I honestly don't know. She is my boss you know…" she whispers that part.

"Outrages, I know, but she just captured me. I was simply doing my job and she crawled into my heart. And it feels so good with her that I don't even mind that she is a girl. You'd love her." She assures as she pats his shoulder.

"She is spicy and sassy and very Latin. You'd be proud of me, shocked but proud, I'm sure. You know, you're the first person I tell about her. No one knows. I'm afraid. You know what I mean; you can take a person out of Southie but you can't take Southie out of the person."

She takes a short break, wiping away the newly shed tears.

"Anyway, she is here with me, so you can meet her if you'd like. Give her the whole 'daddy talk', like the one you gave to Neal, even though you're his dad and not mine."

She chuckles at the memory, wiping another fresh wave of tears. Her voice is raspy, filled with pain, with longing for him to come back, to respond.

"So I guess you need to get up now, you know. To talk to her." Her voice wavers like a leaf in the wind. "Make sure she means well. Make sure she doesn't hurt your _Tesoro_." She smiles at the thought of that nickname. He used to call her that all the time. She thought he was merely laughing at her until Neal told her it meant treasure. The next time he called her that she hugged him tightly.

"I didn't come here to watch you die, so get the fuck up." She rasps out and that's the last coherent sentence she says for a while. She cries silently, squeezing his hand and willing him to open his eyes and get over this. She gives up wiping away the tears, letting them stain her shirt.

After what seems like forever there's a hesitant knock on the door. Soon enough Regina's head pop in.

"Emma?" she calls and when the blonde turns Regina silently gasps at her tear stricken face. "Are you alright?" it takes Emma a moment to remember that the brunette never witnessed her cry, at least not on that scale.

"I'm fine." She says and her voice is still a little raspy.

"Would you like me to-" she pauses "I can come back later…" Regina turns to leave.

"No, wait!" Emma calls and Regina halts. She gestures with her hand for the brunette to come closer. When Regina is near the bed Emma rises to stand next to her. Intertwining their fingers she turns to Regina.

"This is Tony," she says to Regina and then turns to Tony "Tony, this is Regina, my girlfriend."

Regina almost beams at the introduction and leans in for a chaste kiss.

"He would probably tell me I'm taking one hell of a lady of the men market," Emma's says, chuckling "but eventually he would've been happy for me." She explains and Regina looks at her with so much affection, Emma thinks she might explode.

"I'm sure he would"

* * *

 

They stay in the room. Regina, who has gone to get a coffee at some point, returns with some baked goods. They sit there, Emma next to Tony, content by being next to him and Regina on the sofa, checking work mail on her phone.

It's evening when the door open forcefully, revealing a pretty disheveled-looking Neal.

"Emma" he says, surprised,

"Hey" she waves sheepishly and soon he is out of his shock, moving forward and scooping her in for a tight hug.

"I'm glad you could make it." He whispers in her ear and all Emma can think about is how low is hands are and how furiously jealous Regina might be at the moment. She is not surprised spotting her pursed lips when they break the hug.

"Sure" Emma says and sticks her hands in her pockets.

They stare at each other until Regina clears her throat. Neal turns abruptly.

"I didn't see you," he says and leans in for a hand shake "Neal" he introduces himself.

"Regina Mills" she says while nodding her head curtly.

"And you are?" he looks at Emma for answers.

"Err," Emma fidgets in her spot "she is my-"

"Friend" Regina cuts her before she has to opportunity to answer. "I'm a friend from work."

"Oh," Neal nods, finding the explanation reasonable "Nice to meet you."

"You too" Regina responds with a tight smile, since her manners are always implacable.

"How about I go get us something to eat and you two could catch up?" Regina suggests after an awkwardly charged silence. Emma smiles gratefully at her, knowing it's not easy for the brunette to just leave her alone with her ex.

"That would be great, thank you." She says, hoping she can convey her gratitude with a single look.

"Sure" Neal adds and Regina nods.

"Alright then. How does Sushi sound?" she inquires while picking up her bag.

"Excellent" Emma says immediately, followed by Neal's nod.

"Yep"

Regina's gaze alternate between the two of them for a little while before she opens the door.

"I'll be back"

* * *

 

"So…." Neal drawls after a long period of silence "How are you doing?" he slumps down at the couch.

Emma chooses to get back to her seat next to Tony.

"I'm good"

"How's New York?"

"Amazing" Emma smiles at that, because New York is amazing; in general but also specifically to her.

Neal nods. "Still waitressing?"

"I am, but it's not my main gig. I work at Mills' Corporation, do you know them?"

"Of course" he gives her the 'duh' look. "Wait," he says "she said her name was Regina Mills didn't she?"

Emma swallows and nods.

It takes him a moment but then his face colors with surprise "Is she…?"

"Yes, she is one of the daughters" Emma confirms, dreading to see his reaction.

Neal whistles, impressed "Jeez Emma, how did you become friends with her?"

Emma tries not to be offended by that question and continues to answer "Well, I work with her in her department so…"

"Wow"

"Yeah"

He doesn't push further for now and for that she is grateful.

They stay silent for a while and Emma prays Regina won't take too long.

"How have you been?" she asks eventually, not able to stand to unpleasant silence any longer.

Neal sighs and scratches his scruff, something he definitely didn't have when she left. Looks like he made his jump that year, looking more like a young man then the teenager he used to look like. The grief and the sudden weight of responsibilities probably helped that too.

"Eh" he says, lacking a better word. "It's hard."

"I bet" Emma says sympathetically.

"Anjelo doesn't want to take over the business, which kinda forces me to do it."

"And you don't want to?" Emma inquires, knowing full-heartedly that Neal loved his dad's catering business.

"I don't know. I might but it's not like it's my choice."

"Yeah"

Suddenly Emma feels as if years passed and not just one. Where's the young, stupidly reckless Neal that she used to know? Life has hit him straight in the face, forcing him to grow up. Emma feels bad for him, knowing what it's like to have to grow up early. Despite hating his immatureness at times, she also wished for it to never go away. She wishes it for everyone. Adulthood sucks. Having to grow up is painful, whether it's from a tragedy, hunger, the need for money, it doesn't matter; at the end of the day, when you step up to that level of responsibility and matureness, you lose a piece of yourself.

Regina finally comes back, pushing the door with her elbow since her hands are full. Emma jumps to help her immediately.

"Thank you" Regina smiles and all Emma can think about is 'thank you' for finally coming back. Yes, Emma knows Neal and spent quite some time with him in the past but it's not like they were best friends when she left. Add the initial awkwardness to the fact they hadn't seen each other for months and they're becoming completely different versions of themselves; that creates an uneasy atmosphere.

"Sure" is all she says before she glances at the bags. Her brows shot to her hair line. "You brought us food from Haru Sushi?" she asks, surprised.

"Really?" Neal jumps in. As Boston natives they both know Haru Sushi is one of the best Sushi places in town and a rather expensive one. Of course, trust Emma to be surprised despite knowing that Regina won't settle for anything less than the very best. Still, it causes a ping of inconvenience in Emma's stomach knowing how much it probably cost her.

Neal doesn't seem to have the same problem. After Regina's nod of confirmation he practically jumps over the bags and start unloading them. He whistles, impressed, as he lays out trays after trays of various foods; from Sushi palettes, to Sashimi ones, Misu soup, cooked rise with beans and cooked Tuna, crunchy Salmon skin and the list goes on.

While he starts eating in the earnest, moaning every second bite, Emma shakes her head "Regina, this is too much." They lock eyes and Regina makes a dismissive motion with her hand "Nonsense, it is my pleasure. Eat." she orders and Emma relents, almost moaning herself when the silk-like pieces of fish enter her mouth.

They sit quietly, the only sounds filling the room are ones of chewing. Emma and Neal jump in, eating most of the food with their hands and parts of it (like the rice) with forks. Not Regina though, Regina eats like a pro. With her chopsticks placed delicately in her hand, she manages to scoop up even rice and manages to look almost regal while doing so.

Emma watches Regina fondly, admiring her from afar when Regina looks up. They lock eyes and Emma tries her best to tame the smile threating to break on her face. Regina smirks and after checking that Neal is indeed engrossed in his eating she looks back up at Emma and winks. And ugh, if this isn't the sexiest thing Emma has ever seen. She bites her lip, watching Regina's eye cascading down to her pink lips and then back up with a silent promise.

Later.  


	32. Chapter 32

The barely make it past the door when Emma hands comb through chestnut hair and her mouth claims Regina's. They kiss heatedly, both conveying emotions they can' quite comprehend and even less, express.

The shallow breaths fill the empty suite as they somehow make it to the couch. A shy out of falling Emma turns them around at the last minute, causing them to flip so Emma is on top. They crash down with an 'oomph' and Regina chuckles.

They take a moment to compose themselves.

"Thank you" Emma breathes out.

"For?" Regina frowns.

"For being so amazing today, giving me space and privacy, with Tony and then with Neal, getting us food and being utterly civilized with him."

"Well, I was merely following a behavior code. My mom would never allow anything other than polite…" she teases, smirking. She laughs when Emma slaps her forearm lightly.

"You know what I mean." She huffs and Regina shots up to place a chaste kiss on her mouth before dropping back down.

"I know, and you welcome." She smiles.

Emma lays herself down, lying next to Regina; both barely manage to stay on the narrow couch. Regina wraps her hands around the blonde's form while Emma places her head on her chest, listening to her heart thrumming under her ear.

Emma sighs.

"I know" Regina rubs soothing circles on her back.

* * *

 

Eventually they part, each goes to her room. Regina offers Emma to join her but the blonde gently declines, claiming she needs to do some thinking. And she does.

She lies awake, staring at the decorated ceiling as she tries to process all the feelings that take over her.

From her being used to feel almost emotionally dead, so much has happened and claimed a piece of her heart it's almost overwhelming. So many emotions are swirling inside her for the better parts of months now; there's doubt and fear and sadness as well as contentment, fondness and other things she doesn’t dare labeling, not even in her head.

It's bordering ridiculous how irrelevant her entire life seem in comparison to her current life, the one she since arriving to New York.

With her mind, still filled with thoughts and doubts, she falls asleep after exhaustion finally wins the battle.

* * *

 

It's a fitful sleep. Too much to ponder about.

Emma wakes up early. She pads to Regina's room, spotting the brunette sprawled all over the huge bed. She almost chuckles at the sight. The contradiction between the messiness of her sleep to her collective demeanor while awake is too amusing.

Having nothing else to do, she decides to go for a run.

She heads into the sleepy streets of Boston. Usually, the streets are never empty. You have the hard working people occupying the streets earlier than the sun and the troublesome teenagers during the night. But Sunday, Sunday morning is always empty, she dares to say peaceful. Even the handful of people who are up at this ungodly hour, aren't rushing anywhere.

And so she runs, basking in the solitude she is lucky enough to experience.  She navigates her way to Charles River, finding a whole new level of serenity near the water. She runs along the water, shielded by trees. They're all green since it's summer. Soon, she thinks, they will change into various shades of red and orange and yellow. She can't help the slight ping at her heart thinking about fall time. Yes, she moved on and she is happy in New York. But this is her hometown, this is where she grew up. She wondered those streets for hours as a child, memorizing every nook in those streets. There's a different vibe in this city, slower, calmer and to say she doesn't miss this pace sometimes would be a lie.

She turns and heads back, starting to feel her muscles protest at the long continues effort. She enjoys it. There's certain comfort at feeling physical pain, it's easier to spot, easier to take care of, easier to fix and forget about. Unlike mental pain, which can't be spotted, can't be stopped and can't be shooed away. It's almost non-existent and Emma hates that feeling of lack of justification that she sometimes feel experiencing that type of emotional pain.

Feeling her legs and chest burn gives her a reason to be hurt. So she hurts, running despite the pain and finally allowing her heart to grieve.

He will not come back. As much as she wants him to, he won't. She can't stop this crippling feeling of loneliness. Yes she has Regina and Ruby and Mary Margaret but they don't really know her. They know parts of her but not the whole Emma. And Emma is turn between wanting them to know those parts of her and fearing their reaction once they do.

Emma is nowhere near a saint. She had her fair share of mistakes and wrongdoings and she has no idea how they will be accepted.

Suddenly she feels an untamable urge to visit her last home. There isn't anyone precious waiting for her there but still, it was her home before her shoebox was. A small part of her also wishes she comes back and recognizes nothing; that the showerheads aren't a mere drizzle, that the toilet seats aren't broken, that the beds are, finally, beds and not mattresses on the floor. She wishes the new kids have it better.

She makes up her mind to go and visit it today, she has nothing else to do anyway and besides, it's ridiculously close to the Baronios' household. She should go and say hi to Anjelo since she is in the neighborhood.

With that plan in her head she seems to calm a little and the last mile back to the hotel is back to the positive energy and serenity she started with.

She checks her watch while she waits for the elevator to cross the remaining ten floors to their floor. It's nearing nine and Emma assumes the brunette is up by now.

Assuming right, she spots the brunette on the couch with her phone in hand as soon as she opens the door.

"I see," Regina hums into the device while writing numbers furiously on a piece of paper.

"Well tell them it is not what I've asked for and the fact that they're even trying to offer me a completely different field than what I required is insulting to me. Ask them if insulting one of the heads of Mills' Corporation is the way they choose to go with. And if so, they can go ahead and work with 'The Lopez Construction Company' instead" she finishes the sentence with disdain. Regina goes quite, listening to the person on the other line. She scribbles a bunch of dates down, asking a few more questions and sums it all up.

"Very well," she says after re-reading what she has written down in the past minute "I'll make the call and see what we can do about it. Please inform me once you have the dates to the benefit plus the demands and a list of people whose attendance is required as well as Logan's response to the offer."

She hangs up without a goodbye and turns to look at Emma.

"Well hello to you too, I wondered where you've wandered to." She says while scanning Emma's attire from head to toe. Emma's leggings and form-fitting shirt leave nearly nothing to imagination and Regina licks her lips at the sight.

"But I guess it's not difficult assuming you went out for a run." She rises from the couch and approaches Emma. She takes the glass water Emma was holding and places it on the table next to where they're now standing.

"I'm sweaty" Emma croaks out, affected by the closeness of their bodies as well as by how insanely _hot_ Regina is while doing business.

"I don't mind" she smirks and leans in for a quick pack. Not letting it escalate, she steps back.

"Breakfast?"

* * *

 

"Emma?" the blonde snaps out of her gaze.

"Mmm?" she replies while taking another sip of her coffee.

They were sitting in the dining room which turned out to have quite a view of the city once you push the drapes aside. Their empty plates were piled up on the table after Emma munched her way through all of them, even Regina's unfinished plate. She apologized with a mouth full with Omelet for being such a pig. Needless to say, and Emma still has no idea how and why, Regina found it adorable.

The breakfast was lovely. Delicious and recognizable food, mixed with a good talk made the morning a success. That until Regina's phone beeped again. She apologized for the intrusion before taking the call and walking to the other room. That's where Emma started to mess with her own head. As usual, over-thinking everything made her fear of Regina's reaction. Logically, she understood that fear held no base but emotionally she was wrecking her brain trying to figure out how to ask her. Does she invite her to come along? And then more questions started popping up; if she should do this, why is she feeling the need to do this and from there things went downhill.

"Are you okay?" Regina inquires as she reclaims her seat next to Emma and picks up her abandoned cup of coffee.

"Yeah I-" she turns to look at the window. Just do it.

"I thought about going to visit my home." She says to the silent room without looking at Regina. She clears her throat. "I mean, I dunno why but I just want to and you don't have to come if you don't want to, that will be totally fine-"

"Emma" Regina cuts hers rambling, causing Emma to turn.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asks tentatively, her eyes gentle and caring.

Emma simple nods and Regina's smile broadens.

"Then I'd love to."

* * *

 

The cab pulled over next to a large wooden house with the number 6 carved in it.

"There you go ma'am, 6 Pacific St." he turned around and Emma fished out the cash before Regina had the chance to.

"Thank you" she said and opened the door.

Regina stepped out after her, scanning the area around her with pursed lips. Probably finally understanding why Emma forbade bringing her car into this area.

_'It would get stolen. You love your car don't you? Oh, and dress as common as you can, your Prada suits will stick out like a sore thumb.'_ Regina folded her hands in return but complied. Now, she was probably grateful for it.

This part of Boston wasn't nearly as pretty as what Regina was used to. They had taken to renovate parts of it during the years in order to up its value. They had succeeded quite nicely in the upper side of Southie, but this area near Dorchester Heights stayed quite neglected with its poor maintenance, run-down houses and high crime rates.

Emma turned to look at the house, same as she remembered it. Even more beaten than it used since it has gone through another rough winter with no means to fix all the problems.

It was quite big in comparison to the rest of the houses in the street. Though those so called normal houses had six or seven people living in them at most, this house contained more than two dozen of them.

"This is it?" Regina asked carefully, probably trying to hide the judgment from her tone though Emma has heard it, loud and clear.

"Yep" she answered simply while approaching the porch.

A couple of teenagers whistled at them while they were going up the stairs and Emma noticed Regina's form stiffen.

"Just ignore them" she said as quietly as possible and Regina nodded curtly.

"What if they don't leave?" she inquired while Emma knocked on the door.

"Then I'll beat the crap out of them" she answered and Regina's eyebrows rose to her hairline. Right before she was about to respond to that the door opened.

A middle-aged redhead opened the door with a quizzing look. Emma recognized the shorter woman immediately.

"Miss Callaghan" she greeted and the woman fixed her perched glasses as she scanned Emma. The blonde knew she recognizes her but with the amount of kids that go through this place she probably needed a reminder. "Emma Swan" she smiled shyly "I was here-"

She was pulled into a tight hug.

"Of course, of course Emma" the woman patted her back adoringly "how stupid of me." She reasoned "I'm getting old darling and it's been taking its toll on me"

They parted and the elderly woman smiled warmly at her.

"Come on in" she gestured with her hand and they both followed. The woman immediately started fiddling with the kettle as every proud Irish lady would do.

"This is Regina, a friend" Emma pointed towards Regina who smiled timidly and reached her hand out.

"Regina is it?" she asked and Regina nodded "What a lovely name" she wrapped Regina's hand with both of her hands and patted it reassuringly "I'm Matilda by the way, you can call me Tili"

"Thank you," Regina thanked, as polite as ever "nice to meet you Matilda."

"Have a seat ladies" Tili ordered with her back to them "what kind of a host am I if my guests are left standing?" she turned and placed cookies on the small kitchen table while sending warm smiles their way.

They did as they were told and waited for the water to boil.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter despite it being merely a step up towards the real events which will occur in the next chapters. If you're bored and feel like it you can check out the new fic I uploaded, its name is 'Skyhigh'. Plus, you can follow me on twitter (lifein10s_) if you like and ask every question that goes through your head, I'm always happy to chat :)
> 
> Please comment and like and subscribe if you enjoy this story, also share it with your friends if you think it's worth reading so it can get to as many people as possible.
> 
> One thing I haven't thought about until now is fan art: I'm terribly bad at edits and that's why I use dull pictures for my stories. If you're good at those type of things and feel like making something for this story for me to use, I'd be thrilled!!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, I started reading a fic and it turned out to be too good to stop. Long story short, I binged-read the whole thing and that's why the chapter is up only now.
> 
> Warning: Mentions of violence and sexual assault.

 

"So," Matilda drawled as she placed down the steaming cups in front of them.

"How have you been?" she inquired while momentarily disappearing from their sight. She came back with another wooden chair and placed it near the table.

"Good, good" Emma said, still a little embarrassed by the whole situation. She went on and talked about moving to New York and working as a waitress and a secretary. Then, a little flustered from the attention she turned it to Matilda.

"And how about here? How's everyone?"

It seemed to work since Matilda clasped her hands excitedly and started sharing.

"Well, Tamara and Ian left shortly after you did. Johnny is still living here." Emma's eyebrows shot to her hairline.

"Isn't he-?"

"Eighteen?" Matilda filled in "Yes, but he had some difficulties getting settled on his own. It's only until he has some money and he can move out." She excused and Emma nodded. Johnny was always one of Matilda's favorite, why? She has no idea, the guy was a lazy ass.

They remained silent for a while until Regina stepped in, relieving Emma for a little by talking about how different Boston is from New York. Matilda ate it right up and listened with curiosity to Regina's stories on the fast-paced city and its shining lights.

Then they heard padding sounds and Emma's breath was caught in her throat.

"Good morning Lillian" Matilda greeted the toddler kindly.

"Look who's here" she pointed towards Emma who smiled at the adorable brunette.

"Hey Lil's" she said timidly and the toddler examined her thoroughly. After a minute of standing in her pajamas with her blankie in hand and a thumb in her mouth she started walking hesitantly towards the smiling blonde.

Emma immediately scooped her up on her lap and smiled warmly at her. She combed her fingers through her brown locks and caressed her face.

She looked up and met with a slightly confused Regina.

"Lillian used to be Emma's favorite" Matilda explained for her "she would be the first one to hear her cry at nights and she was very considerate and usually put her to sleep herself instead of waking me up to do so." She explained and Regina looked at the baby girl fondly.

"She is beautiful" she said warmly and locked eyes with Emma.

"She is" Matilda said while they kept staring at each other.

* * *

 

"It was lovely to see you Emma, please come back if you have the chance" Matilda kissed her cheek while squeezing her hand.

"You too Regina" she turned and did the same to a surprised looking brunette. Emma chuckled at the sight.

"Will do" she promised and leaned down to kiss Lillian one last time.

They descended down the stairs when they heard the door behind them shut.

"Wow," Regina said while they turned left and started walking down the street "that was…" she faltered.

"Interesting?" Emma filled in and the brunette nodded. In all honesty, Regina reacted way better than Emma imagined her to. Yes, she was still surprised to see the shape of the house and the amount of kids that resided in each room but she almost seemed eager to learn a little about where Emma came from. She asked about her school and sleeping arrangement and after school activities and Emma tried her best to answer her questions without exposing the fact that school was a rare occurrence, that most of the times she had to fight for her own 'bed' and that after school activities were pretty much non-existent.

Regina seemed to catch onto this at some point and her form deflated after that.

"Look" she pointed to her left to a small house with a vast garden. The plants were withered and the house looked terrible but it still caused a nostalgic wave to flood Emma's chest.

"Remember Senior Camerini?" she asked with a soft expression on her face. Regina frowned for a short while but then the realization downed on her.

"Pesto guy?" she asked and Emma nodded with a smile.

"That's his house" she pointed out and they stood there for a good minute or two. Emma visioning him in his garden, tending his forest of basil, and Regina trying to paste the stories in her mind onto this property.

Eventually they kept strolling.

"Where are we going now?"

"Neal's house, I want to say hello to his brother" Emma explained and Regina hummed her agreement.

"And his mother?" she inquired.

"Dead" Emma shrugged.

"Oh"

"Yes."

* * *

 

"Emma?" Anjelo opens the door while rubbing the sleep off his eyes. It's early noon but he works as a bar tender amongst other things so this is his 'early morning'.

"Hey" she waves sheepishly and he opens the door fully, exposing his bare upper body. Then Emma remembers why Neal hated Emma being around him, he was one hell of a man. He took after his mother's looks, with gentle angles, blue eyes and dark hair. His shoulders wide and stomach sculptured to perfection. He was as manly as it gets, unlike Neal who was grim with sharp features just like his dad used to have before his love for food filled the empty spaces.

He pulls her into his embrace and she can feel Regina's eyes burning holes into her back.

"Long time no see" he says smiling when they part, though his hands remain on her shoulders while he examines her.

"Yep" she shrugs and he chuckles.

"Always a talker" he jokes and gestures for them to enter.

They sit down with coffee and cookies and Emma thinks she might explode. Matilda tried to stuff them with cookies to the point of stomach ache.

"This is Regina," Emma says when they all settle down "A friend from New York"

He looks at her briefly and nods "Nice to meet you" before settling his eyes on Emma again.

"So, how have you been? Has New York been treating you right?"

"Oh yes, New York is great" she smiles widely and turns to look at Regina. The brunette returns the smile but it's tight and her posture is stiff and she immediately spots her jealous expression. This is just Anjelo, she exclaims in her head, as if Regina can hear. But the massage doesn't seem to cross over to the brunette's mind and she stays like that throughout the visit.

At one point Neal returns home for a quick break and they all sit down for a while. Neal manages to throw out a 'stop hitting on Emma' to Anjelo who smirks in return.

"Oh so this is a normal occurrence?" Regina asks, apparently giving up to her jealousy just a tad and breaking her character as merely a friend.

Neal laughs and nods "Even when we dated. I'd hate him for that. Get your own girl dude" he turns to Anjelo and laughs.

Eventually they leave and right before they're out the door Anjelo tells them to call him if they want to get a drink tonight. Regina rolls her eyes at that and Emma stifles her laughter when she replies with a 'maybe'.

They stand outside, waiting for the cab they ordered when those two Irish pricks approach them again.

"Well well," one of them says smugly "look who's still here."

"Thought you'd be running for the hills by now" the other guy says and they laugh.

They both remain quite, Regina has no idea how to respond having never been in this type of situation before and Emma, Emma doesn’t want to start something unless she really has to.

"Maybe they just want the dick" one of them says as he checks both them out with a lifted eyebrow. Emma's form stiffens, the situation too similar to the ones she used to experience as a teen. Suddenly, polite and kind Emma from New York is no longer there but the hardass chick who grew up defending herself from horny bullies who think they can have something simply because they want it.

She scans the street, trying to spot other people that might hang with them but they seem to be the only two. She can handle two. Her face hardens as she steps in front of Regina, folding her hands.

"How about you fuck off before you won't have one." She says harshly, her eyes hard and threatening.

The guys deflate just a little but don't back down just yet.

"A Southie?" he asks, surprised from the harsh tone, local accent and familiar threats. "I would never have guessed." He muses, raking their forms once again.

"No, you know what" he says in after thought "you, maybe" he talks to her "but foxy mama over there" he looks at Regina "she reeks money" he determines.

"Well," Emma says unfazed, despite her shaking insides. "I can punch hard enough for the both of us."

"Oh really?" he snorts, doubtful.

"Try me" she steps forward. She has no intention of doing so but Southies are like animals, if you don't at least show strength, you'd get eaten alive.

He seems to consider his next step when a car honks behind him. The window of the car opens and a nice looking older man sticks his head out.

"Cab to the Four Season Hotel?" he asks.

"That's us" Emma says and they start moving around the pair to get to the taxi.

"See, told you they're filthy rich."

One of them says and moves to grab Regina's harm but Emma's spots it and slap his hand away. She shoves him forcefully and he stumbles back with a surprised look.

"Get in the cab" she orders Regina. She is grateful when the brunette doesn't object and merely does as she was ordered.

The boy is up again and she moves into his personal space.

"Now back the fuck off, go get a fucking job and get yourself off the streets before I do it for you."

His jaw twitches angrily but he says nothing.

She turns and walks towards the cab, hearing him mumble "You blonde hoe"

She enters the cab and just as they start to move he yells again.

"Show your face again and I'll make you the charity whore"

Emma closes the window as the cab drives away from them. She lets out a relieved breath. On the outside she seems pretty collected but on the inside she's shaking. This was too close to tragedy. She's mad at herself for exposing Regina to this kind of danger. She is not from there anymore; she has no idea whether this prick is really just a bored teen or actually the new gangster in town or at least connected to one of them. How could she defy him like this? She combs her fingers through her hair in frustration. This is her fault, what if something happened to Regina?

She closes her eyes and tries to will away those thoughts.

They drive in silence, Emma having this inner discussion with herself and Regina probably traumatized to death.

They pay the driver without saying a word and enter the hotel. Once they're in their room Emma leans against the door, pounding her head against the wooden surface.

"I'm so sorry" she croaks out. The emotions seem to be too much, so she clasps her mouth shut, trying to get ahold of herself. Her body feels tired and there's blood in her ears.

Regina turns to look at her, pretty shaken as well.

"For?"

"For putting you in this position, I'm so sorry" she shakes her head as her voice trembles and her eyes tear up "I don't know what I was thinking."

Regina is at her side in a matter of seconds, her hand brushes a loosen lock away from her face.

"Hey" she garbs Emma's chin and lifts her head, commending her to look at her "this is not your fault."

"But-" she tries and Regina cuts her.

"No buts. I knew what I was getting myself into, I'm an adult Emma. This is not your fault that you grew up in such a horrible place-" her voice breaks at the last two words and she casts her look down. "I'm so sorry that you had to grow up like this." He face contort in sadness. In a desperate attempt to erase hose pictures out of Regina's head she connects their lips in a passionate kiss.

Eventually they part, resting their foreheads together.

"We're not going there anymore." Emma determines "Ever again"

The brunette nods and swallows thickly.

"May I ask you what a charity whore is?" she inquires gently. It doesn't stop Emma from wincing at the question.

She clears her throat, trying to determine whether or not she wants Regina to be aware of this awful custom.  

"It's, well it's sugar coating an awful crime. A charity whore is a girl who has no one to stand up for her, they spot her and use her as charity for all the guys who can afford sluts." She says with disdain "which basically mean that they rape her, time after time. They gangbang her until she runs away, they lose interest or she dies." She finishes with a hard tone since she fears that the only other choice for is to cry when talking about this.

Regina seems appalled to the core. "Jesus" is all she says and her face turns gray at the thought.

"Yes" she agrees and watches Regina's face go into shock and then horror.

"And he said that you-" she shakes "that he'll make you the-" she covers her mouth with her hands and her eyes water. Emma's heart constrict at the sight.

"No I- I don't think he is in a position to really make that threat." She tries to keep her voice calm, only one of them can break at a given time "I think he did this to frighten me since I know what it is." She reasons but Regina doesn’t look convinced at all.

Her face color with determination when she basically commends Emma.

"You listen to me" she points at her "promise me you'll never set foot in that place again." Her tone is hard as well as her body language but her eyes are pleading, begging for Emma to agree and provide her just a little peace of mind.

She pulls Regina in for a hug.

"Okay" she whispers in her ear "I promise"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the last scene, it was very hard for me to write. I just want to clarify some things; Lillian is not the Lily we know from OUAT, I simply had that name stuck in my head and nothing else seemed fit. No meaning behind it what's or ever (story wise). The whole 'charity whore' thing is merely a fruit of my sick mind under the influence of very violent movies. Please don't assume this thing really happens there!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the slight delay- for those of you who read 'It's only hair, it grows' I followed Emma's footsteps and donated 40 cm of hair. It is so short now but I am so fucking proud. Anyway, enjoy the story.
> 
> Warning: Sexy times ahead.

 

Apparently more scared for Emma then herself Regina refuses to budge from Emma's side. They spend the afternoon watching meaningless TV as they both try to digest what the hell happened that day. The sensory over-load seemed to weigh Emma down and she fell asleep, exhausted, on the couch.

When she woke up after an hour or so she found Regina sleeping as well, clinging to her form for dear life. She smiled down at her, wishing she had someone who worried about her the other times it has happened to her.

She didn't have the heart to tell the brunette about the numerous times she nearly got herself killed or worse, raped. Because yes, getting raped and losing control of your body is a lot worse than getting yourself killed. Emma didn't try too hard to put herself under protection, she didn't suck to anybody and especially not to all the so called 'gangsters' in their neighborhood. Since you had to actually bend over for a guy to have him protect her from another guy, well Emma didn't see the benefit in that. Add that to walking around late at night after work and you get a pretty lucky young Emma. A few scratches and bruises and one broken rib was nothing in comparison to what she could've experienced if she hadn't managed to pull herself out of harm's way at the last minute.

And the worst thing was that no one cared. Later on, in her last few months Neal cared, but before that? No one. It was the other way around, instead of having people from her house fighting for her she had to fight those guys too. It's repulsive to think how ill driven all those guys are simply because their hormones are raging.

Somewhere deep in her mind Emma knows that's probably the reason she slept with Neal. Yes, he was nice and gentle and practically a saint next to all the other guys in the neighborhood but he wasn't her big love. She loved him in more of a friendly way, she liked him in a romantic way but she wasn't sure she would've chosen him if her life were different. It's as if she made a conscious decision to sleep with him first before anything else happens, as if her mind actually did the sickening math and arrived to the conclusion that being raped not a virgin is not a bad as being raped as a virgin. In what world is this though is even fucking acceptable?

But it's in the past now, she concludes after a long unpleasant trip to her younger self in her head. She shakes herself out of it and tries to concentrate on the TV. When that doesn't work she looks down at Regina. That seems to calm her beating heart even if just for a little while. Her eyes rake the flawless olive skin, the finally calmed features, the plump lips and long lashes. She smiles down at her. Regina is hers. That thought makes her giddy to no hand and after resisting the urge for what seem like forever, she lets her fingers ghost over her face, brushing away fallen hair.

Regina stirs and hums in encouragement when Emma moves the pads of her fingers to her neck and then to her back. She practically purrs when Emma scratches her back lightly and the blonde can't help the chuckle that bubbles in her throat. Regina's eyebrow arches up before her eyelids even flutter and Emma's heart expands at the sight.

"You're so sarcastic" she whispers adoringly and moves the pads of her fingers over the plump lips. Regina opens them immediately and bites Emma's finger, making her gasp. She licks the captured finger with her tongue, missing the way Emma's orbs turn almost black and the action.

Finally she opens her eyes and squints at the amount of light with a little frown.

"God" Emma breathes "you're such a muffin" she literally can't help herself at this sight. Regina tries to send an intimidating glare but it proves Emma's point even more.

She leans down for a kiss.

"I wanna go visit him again" she says after a moment and tries to gauge her reaction.

"Okay"

"You can come or you can stay here or go somewhere, it's your choice" Emma assures quickly "And whatever you choose is okay."

"Mmm" Regina makes a non-committal noise while considering her options.

"I'll come with you," she says eventually and Emma nods.

"Okay and?"

"And what?" Regina frowns.

"It sounded like you're about to say more"

"Oh"

"Come on, tell me" It's Emma's turn to try and coax the truth out of Regina.

She sighs in return.

"I just thought we might do something today, just the two of us. Especially since we didn't have much time to ourselves after the mess that happened yesterday…"

"Hey, it's not your fault, don't you dare categorize it as such"

Emma wrecks her mind for a solution. Doing something extravagate the day before Tony- well yeah, is not something she is keen on doing. But, she did promise Regina they would do something.

"How about" she muses out loud "we go to see Tony for a while and then we'll go have dinner and then a movie?"

"That sounds great" Regina nods and her face seem to lighten just a little.

* * *

 

Regina refuses to walk this time, despite Emma's constant claims that this area isn't dangerous at all. They take a cab and sit with Tony for a good two hours until the nurse rushes them out. Emma begs him to wake up one last time before relenting and taking Regina's hand.

They go to 'Pasta Bella', which seems to be the best compromise. It has the best of both worlds; it's a highly decorated restaurant with accessible foods that Emma actually knows of.

Regina goes for a glass of Pinot noir and Emma goes for a coke. After endless attempts Regina manages to convince Emma to have a sip. They way Regina laughs at her contorting face made the disgusting bitter taste all worth it.

They both go for Pasta dishes, Regina's slightly more poshy than Emma's and a salad to share.

When time for desert has come they ordered the best tasting Creme Brulee Emma has ever laid her hands on. Of course Regina's promises of eating all sorts of foods off Emma's naked body made her choke, but it was still totally worth it.

 Emma let Regina choose the film. Huge mistake.

After fifteen minutes of boring French dialog Emma lost patience and concentration and let her mind wander. Soon after, her hands started wandering too and she had to constantly stifle her laugh at Regina's attempts to block her hands. She would place a hand on her knee and raise it up. Just when Regina grab the hand and toss it away Emma would snake her other hand around her neck and tickle her behind the ear. The first time she did it Regina mistaken her fingers as bugs and there was no controlling Emma's laughter when Regina jumped out her chair, earning glaring looks and shushing calls.

After that Emma was punished. And by being punished she means having to seat not one but two seats away from Regina. Still, at the end when the brunette asked her how was the movie she smiled coyly and answered _'Great'_.

Regina didn't stay mad for long and as soon as they closed the door to their room their lips crushed and their bodies flushed against one another as they stumbled hastily to one of the bedrooms.

* * *

 

Emma's eyes popped open and her body stiffened. She didn't recall what it was that scared her so much but she was certain that she had a nightmare. Before she even got the chance to panic she registered the extra weight on her body. Adjusting to the dark she spotted a very cuddly form draped haphazardly all over her. She immediately calmed at the sight, finding comfort at the head the laid right under her chin, the legs pressed against her thighs and an arm that snaked around her waist.

Soon it was over. Her heart had gotten back to its normal beating rate, the sweat on her forehead evaporated and her stiff body softened under Regina's weight.

She looked down at her form and moved the pads of her fingers against her smooth bare back. She closed her eyes, trying to re-live their previous activities.

_"I want to feel you" Regina breathed out while moving against Emma's bare thighs. Emma's mind was so deep in fog that she didn't register what Regina was asking._

_"Mmm?" she moaned when Regina's thigh met her core._

_"Let me feel you" Regina pleaded again, breathing heavily against her ear. She lifted herself up and removed her shirt. Emma swallowed thickly as her bra was discarded as well and Emma met with the sight of two perfect mounds, decorated with brown peaks. The minute her nipples met with the air they stiffened and Emma clenched her legs together at the sight._

_"Fuck" she mumbled, feeling the desire taking ahold of her brain. And this time, when Regina tapped her fingers next to Emma's waistband and lifted her eyebrows in question Emma nodded._

_Regina lowered herself back down against Emma's bare chest, making Emma's toes curl at the feeling of their stiffened peaks rubbing against one other._

_"Regina" was all she could say while desire over flooded her systems and left her panting._

_"Mmm?" Regina questioned just as her fingers came in contact with swollen folds._

_"Fuck" Emma breathed out, squirming under the skilled fingers._

_Regina lifted her head just enough to watch Emma's expression at her ministrations and get to know what she likes. She dipped down into her opening and smeared the wetness all over her clit. She alternated between rubbing in circles, up and down, to the sides; watching Emma's eyes roll in their sockets when hitting a particularly sensitive spot._

_"Mmm' she moaned and Regina smirked._

_"Let me hear you" she begged, dipping her hand lower once again witnessing Emma's sharp intake of breath._

_"Oh" realization downed on her and Emma manages to open her hazed eyes just a little "you want me to go inside don't you?" her eyes shone with mirth and her smirk widened when Emma nodded vigorously managing a strangled 'Please!' in between breaths._

_Regina pressed just a little and withdrawn immediately. Chuckling at Emma's frustrated groan._

_"I want to hear you" was all she said and Emma was so incredibly turned on she just gave up._

_"Okay, I'll try" that's the best she could do after being used to silence all of her life._

_"That's all I ask for" and in a swift motion one finger was inside her._

_"Fuck" Emma cursed when Regina started pumping it in and out._

_"More" she pleaded and Regina chuckled._

_"Making demands aren't we?" she mocked but relented. She inserted her middle finger alone and then the two of them together and started pumping in and out slowly. Making Emma's body burn._

_"Ahhh" she moaned quietly._

_"Louder" Regina insisted while picking up the pace._

_"God" Emma sighed, a little louder. Which was slightly easier to do since all of her attention was dedicated to the waves of pleasure Regina's fingers caused and left no room to fear of repercussions._

_Regina's fingers twisted inside her, making her legs tremble._

_"Oh my god Regina!" she exclaimed while trying to open her eyes and focus on the brown orbs who stared adoringly at her._

_"Not yet"_

_"What?"_

_"I'm not nearly done with you" she answered calmly while slowing down the pace. Emma almost cried at the action._

_"I can't" she nearly whined "please let me come"_

_Regina sighed, still pumping her fingers in and out slowly yet steadily, maintaining Emma's level of arousal and pleasure. "As much as I love to hear you beg, not yet" she concluded while hooking her fingers upward._

_"Guhh" she cried out at the motion._

_"That's it" Regina smiled at her louder moans._

_When Emma thought it couldn't get better and worse than this Regina started flicking her thumb, light as a feather, against her clit._

_"Fuck, fuck, fuck" Emma's body was torn between opening itself to the touch and running away from the unmanageable amount of pleasure it caused her. Her legs started closing but Regina anticipated that move and placed her knee on Emma's thigh, holding it down. With her free hand she splayed Emma's other leg, opening her up._

_"I can't Regina, I- fuck- I'm going to come- please let me come- PLEASE!" Emma was rambling as her head swam in endless waves of pleasurable torture._

_"Alright then" Regina said and started pumping her fingers in and out rapidly. She removed her thumb from Emma's clit and right when she felt her inner muscle contract she pushed her thumb down against it once again. The mere contact with her bundle of nerves sent Emma sprawling down in the most intense orgasm she ever experienced. When she masturbated she never had the will power nor the patience to draw her orgasm. She merely tried to get to the peak and that was it. Her attraction to the brunette, combined with knowing that it's her doing those things to Emma and drawing the edge further and further away from her caused an indescribably strong orgasm._

_"Fuckkkkkk" Emma cried out as Regina kept fucking her though her haze, pumping in and out, corkscrewing her fingers and then rubbing against the swollen patch on her inner walls._

_Emma has no idea if it was the same orgasm or a new one but her body tensed once again and she started shaking and spasming._

_Shrieking as her body contracted and de-contracted while endless waves of pleasure wrecked her body._

_Eventually Regina spared her and removed her fingers, still looking down at a hyperventilating Emma. Sweat covered her brow and her heart thrummed in her throat as she tried to focus on Regina. She succeeded just in time to watch the brunette lick her essence off her fingers._

_"Mmm, exquisite" Regina moaned at the taste and Emma swallowed hard._

_"You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do this." She whispered sultry while licking her drippy fingers clean._

_Emma looked up at her, and despite feeling her eyes drop she gathered the courage and the energy and asked_

_"What about you?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we're still in the flashback, I dunno, it felt right writing it this way. Anyway, you'll have to wait to see what Regina answers. I'm mean, I know, but I hope you still love me :)


	35. Chapter 35

_"What about you?"_

_Regina leaned down and placed a loving kiss on Emma's mouth._

_"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, this was for me." She said fondly while gesturing to Emma's body. "This is my reward."_

_Emma frowned._

_"I'm not a pillow princess" she scoffed, offended, and Regina burst out in laughter._

_"Look who has been doing their homework" she teased and poked Emma's ribs. The blonde let out a shriek as she tried to escape the attack. She looked up into Regina's eyes before gathering all of her courage._

_"Are you a touch-me-not?" she asked quietly, praying that the answer would be negative. The more Emma read about lesbian sex, the more she realized there's so much to learn._

_Starting from a bottom and a top, going all the way to misconception on butch women and woman's preferences. Apparently, some woman liked clitoral stimulation only, some vaginal, there were women who toped, woman who were toped and some who did them both. Some used strap-ons, some didn't and the list goes on. The variation was enormous and the one thing Emma took from it was that every girl is different and therefore so are her preferences._

_Emma came across the term touch-me-not. Having no idea what it is, she dug into the subject. Touch-me-not were woman who preferred pleasing their partners rather than being pleased. Some merely didn't like to be touched and found pleasure by pleasing other, some unfortunately went through experiences that affected their perception of their body and prevent them from wanting that kind of physical touch. It was also said numerous times that it's extremely important to ask your bed mate whether or not she wants to be touched, since touching her without a warning can very much sabotage the mood and end the night._

_Regina looked down at her for a moment before answering._

_"I wouldn't say that, I'm more of a touch-me-maybe."_

_"Huh?" Emma wrecked her brain trying to recall reading about that specific term. But she failed, this never came up, not even once._

_"It's how I like to call it" Regina answered her question "I don't let every girl I'm with touch me there" she cast her eyes down to her crotch "It's a matter of intimacy and trust in my eyes and the nature of my 'relationships with women' if you can even call it that hadn't really provided me with the luxury of opening up. Literally and metaphorically." She winked at the end, though it hadn't distracted Emma from the fact that Regina just revealed a significant detail about herself. Not wanting to shut the sharing spirit by being an idiot she weighted her words carefully before responding._

_"I understand, that makes sense" she nodded and bit her lip "do you think there is a possibility you'd let me, you know-" she swallowed._

_Regina looked lovingly down at her. Caressing her cheek she said "Absolutely. Not at the moment since it might take me a while but I want you to know and understand" her voice turned from soft to stern "that my progress and willingness to let you touch me has nothing to do with you. It has to do with me and my boundaries. And," she added "I strongly want you, want us, to be in that stage when we can freely open up to each other, physically, emotionally and mentally and I hope that you feel as well that this is where we heading."_

Emma sighed and looked down at the sleeping form, her face so calm, so beautiful. Regina is always beautiful, but knowing that this vulnerable version of her is saved only for Emma to see, that makes her heart pound in her chest.

She ran her fingers through the silky locks until sleep claimed her once again.

* * *

 

"Emma, honey, are you okay?" Regina asked through the bathroom door, making Emma's lips quirk up for a short while, before turning into a grim again.

"Yes, I'm coming."

She picked herself off the floor and washed her face yet again in the sink, hoping that somehow the water would be her comfort, or fix her aching heart, anything would do. But she feels exactly the same when she opens the door and joins Regina in their way to the hospital in what could very well be the last time.

* * *

 

"So this is how it's going to work" the gray-haired doctor explained calmly "We are going to unplug him from the machines. If there's any chance for him to wake up, it would be in the next 2-3 minutes. If he doesn't wake up at that time we'll connect him to a heart monitor so we can monitor his heart, he can stop breathing or pumping blood immediately or he can manage to maintain those two actions for a longer period of time like a couple of hours. Either way, the chance of him regaining brain activity after those 2 to 3 minutes regardless of his success in breathing is slim to none."

Knowing all of that in advance hadn't stopped Emma's heart from clenching painfully. She willed with all of heart for him to gather enough power to wake up. Oblivious to her actions, she automatically laced her hand with Regina's and squeezed tightly as the doctor and the nurse approached Tony. Goodbyes were already said, said when Emma was alone with Tony, asking him, begging him for the last time to fight.

Now all she had to do was watch. Watch as the medical staff unplugged him and removed the tubes from his nose and mouth. Watch as they opened a timer while checking for pulse. Watch as the seconds ticked by, feeling more like hours that Emma dreaded, were running out. Watch as the doctor announced that two minutes have passed and if he wouldn't start breathing soon it's going to cause irreversible brain damage. Watch Neal and Anjelo holding onto each other, each is a leaf in the wind trying to get ahold by clinging to another leaf.

Watch as the doctor declared that four minutes have passed and Tony is no longer alive.

Emma didn't hear anything else. She buried her face in Regina's neck and tried to will the last days away from her mind. Regina held onto her tightly, almost as if knowing that if she let's go Emma will fall.

The doctor announced the time of death and Neal's agonized scream was heard probably at the end of the hall. Anjelo's eyes turned black while he held Neal, preventing him from colliding with floor.

* * *

 

Tony always liked to complain about how Italians were stuck in each other's asses but he would be damn proud seeing the amount of people that showed up to his funeral.

South Boston neglected its internal feud for the afternoon when Italian and Irish, elderly and youth, all came to pay respect for the warm Italian guy who provided food in every wedding, birthday or any other event that accrued in the neighborhood in the past years. Came the people who hired him, the teens he hired and the kids who waited outside for leftovers every night. They all came.

It was short. Neal isn't a talker, so does Anjelo. He was buried next to his wife Camille in the family lot.

Emma didn't bother to change her black attire after bidding her goodbyes and heading to the car with Regina.

The drive home was silent. Emma hadn't said a word, merely held to Regina's hand the entire time.

When they reached Emma's apartment and the blonde didn't seem ready to let go of the brunette's hand, Regina made up her mind. Not bothering to ask Emma she drove to her own house.

She led Emma up the stairs into her luxurious bed. She took off her shoes and covered her with a blanket.

She came back minutes later, dressed for bed and sneaked her way under the covers until she reached Emma's shaking form. Wrapping her arm around the skinny blonde and pulling her until their bodies flushed.

She kissed Emma's neck and whispered kind words in her ear until the blonde fell into a fitful sleep. 

* * *

 

When Emma woke up the sun was high in the sky. She squinted her eyes at the amount of light before realizing that something was missing. She turned around to find the large bed empty.

She set up, rubbing the sleep off her eyes while scanning the large room. Yesterday all she could feel was sadness, sadness that blinded her to almost anything but the fact that Regina was there with her. Now, she actually had the chance to scan the large, luxurious bedroom.

Starting with what must be a king size bed, all the way to a door leading to a large closet room and another one leading to the bathroom. Feeling her pressing bladder, she entered the bathroom and gasped.

The marble, the large tub as well as a shower head, all made her feel as if she is still in the Four Seasons' suite.

She finished emptying her bladder and went back to the room to fish her toothbrush out of her suitcase. She brushed and flossed and washed her face.

She decided to go downstairs, actually paying attention now to the beautifully designed house.

On the kitchen island she found a Starbucks cup with a note leaning on it.

She picked up the note and a smile immediately graced her face.

_Good morning beautiful,_

_I hope you feel slightly better. You seemed so at peace that I had to let you sleep. Don't worry, I signed on another day off for you._

_I took the liberty to buy you something for breakfast since I'm not there to make it for you (someone has to work…). You'll find a chocolate croissant in a bag in the oven and the cup has some coco with cinnamon in it. Go upstairs again, the second door on the right leads to the balcony and the view is precious._

_I hope you'd wait for me to come back but if not, there's a key in the first drawer in the kitchen island. Take it with you and return once you get the chance, or don't return it at all._

_Regina._

Emma couldn't tame the smile down. This letter made her heart expand with every written line. Her thumb laced the red lips imprint that Regina left next to her name. Eventually, she snapped out of her haze and picked the mentioned items, not before securing the note safely in her bag.

When she walked out to the edge of the balcony she gasped at the amazing view in front of her. The green trees of the park were a few meters away and the green mashed with the buildings around it into the beautiful picture that this city is.

She sipped her coffee slowly while pondering about the note. She would expect her heart to speed up at the show of intimacy and domesticity in it but with all honesty all it did was lift her spirits. She no longer wanted to run away from commitment and progress. Suddenly, imagining herself spending weekends here with Regina seemed like the perfect plan. She also found that possessing Regina's key only made her happier rather than anxious at the amount of pressure and responsibilities it consisted. Regina's lightness about the whole key ordeal helped Emma ease her fears, she can keep it, she can return it, it's her choice.

While sipping her favorite drink and nipping the divinely smelling pastry she finally realized that she feels so deeply for the sarcastic, well put together brunette; the one who stole her heart from the moment she set foot in her office.

She also realized that despite being completely terrified from admitting it and inevitably putting a label on it even if just in her head, she can't stop herself from actually feeling it every second of every day. So why not admitting it altogether?

She is falling for Regina Mills.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of positivity will do us all good… Also, I wanted to mention that we don't really focus on the timeline in this story but Regina and Emma have their thing going on for a couple of months now (Emma started having feelings around Feb/March and now we're in the end of July) so this inner declaration of Emma is definitely not premature, especially not after what they've been through together.
> 
> Also, wanted to emphasize that the whole touch-me-not explanation is based on my knowledge of the subject; if I miss-defined/offended anyone, I apologize.


	36. Chapter 36

Emma glanced at her watch, it was nearing noon. Weighing her options she decided on staying for Regina and not just for the sake of seeing her.

Sitting up there on the balcony Emma actually had the time to register what happened in the last three days in Boston. She was so engrossed in her pain and the fact that she was back at her hometown that she didn't have the time to stop and think about all the things Regina did for her; the hotel, the food, being there for her every single minute of every single day. And it wasn't over in Boston. Taking her here, staying with her, buying her breakfast, those things Emma never and took nor will take for granted, ever.

 She felt this urge to convey those feelings, to show Regina how fucking grateful she is. It's amazing to think how far they've come in the past two weeks, the amount of trust they both entrusted in the other's hands.

Regina hasn't failed being there for her, supporting her, making her feel loved and cherished and taken care of and Emma had to repay. Not for the sake of evening the field but merely for the fact that she wanted to make Regina feel as good as the brunette made her feel.

That's why she was heading to the nearest grocery shop at three in the afternoon. She wanted so badly to prepare dinner for Regina for when she comes back. Something romantic, light and fun since they didn't really get the chance to do this for quite a while.

Yes, Boston sure had its moments in the movies or the restaurant but Emma's mind was swamped with a thousand other things and it also felt like Regina constantly had to ask and seek for time alone. Emma has to get over her insecurities and start initiating things between them.

After wrecking her brain trying to think about possible dinner foods that she can actually make she wrote down a list of ingredients she needed in order to make a proper dinner.

Deciding on not using a single thing out of Regina's stuff since it's dinner for her, she entered the shop with quite a list.

After an hour of grocery shopping and YouTube watching on how to perfect each and every dish, she started working. She chopped onions and garlic and threw them in a hot pan while checking on the baked potatoes in the oven. She chopped vegetables in between and scooped them into a large glass bowel. She went to check on the marinated Sirloin Steaks after receiving accurate and in detail instruction on how to treat the meat and cook it. She decided on keeping the meet for last since it didn't require and obscene amount of cooking time and was best served fresh. She placed the beans in the pan with the garlic and onions and added soy sauce and teriyaki sauce and let the heat do its thing.

In the mean time she set up the table for two and placed the scented candle she picked up while waiting for the cashier to finish with another customer. She halted. Is this too much? Yes, Regina invited her to stay but maybe she was overstepping.

The pan made a screeching sound and Emma made her way back to the stove to find the beans screaming for a stir. She pushed the pan forwards and it flipped the beans, just like she has seen Tony's cooks do while in service.

Melancholy settled in her chest for a short moment. Then the phone beeped and tore her out of her world.

_Regina- I don't know if you decided to stay but I'm on my way home._

Emma smiled at that, in perfect synchronization with the cooked food.

She got back to tending the various foods in the cooking. She placed the Sirloin Steak on a heated striped pan and heard it sizzling. She was seasoning the salad when she heard the door open.

A smile graced her face as she heard the famous click of the heels. She turned around and whatever it is that she planned on saying escaped her brain. Her smile quickly turned into a frown when she was met with a large redhead mane.

She stared at the woman in shock before connecting the dots in her head. That was Zelena, Regina's sister.

Fuck, there goes their meal.

Afraid from what she might think of her Emma remained silent and waited for her company to take the lead.

Zelena turned and placed a hand on her chest

"Jeez, you scared the hell out of me." She said while stretching her head to see what Emma was doing.

"Oh" she said and clasped her hands excitedly "I'm glad to see Regina took my advice and hired help."

"I-" Emma tried and gave up after realizing that she has no idea what to do. Zelena, probably used to the presence of several strangers in her house on daily basis wasn't bothered by it in the least.

"Is my sister here yet?"

"Err-" Emma swallowed. Come on, you can do it, it's an easy question with an easy answer. "No" she felt her cheek heating with panic and humiliation. So she is the help, great.

"Alright then, I'll wait for her in the living room." Zelena informed while grabbing her awfully expensive looking bag and sauntering away.

Emma finally allowed a sharp intake of air. Fuck.

She turned to the food to check that everything was on course. She put the beans in a white bowl and placed it on the table. Next to it she set the salad. She pulled the scorching potatoes out and moved them into a different container.

When all was set on the table she went over to the stove and flipped the Steak after marinating it again. After the flip she was pleased to find the cooked side looking deliciously enticing. The happy notion flew out the window as soon as she realized that she is not going to be eating this meal.

Regina was pretty clear about her family ignorance regarding her sexuality and she isn't going to do anything to compromise it. Obviously, family comes first and after taking Regina all to herself for three whole days her family would want to see her.

What was she thinking? Going around playing house in someone else's home. What if Regina wanted some space and she lands on her with a dinner after they spent three whole days with each other?

She shook her head sadly at that.

The door opened again and the familiar sound of heels quickly filled the quite space.

"Emma?" Regina called before entering into the kitchen. Emma was just placing the Steaks on the table next to everything else.

She looked up and caught Regina's look.

"What-?" Regina started but then her eyes landed on the set table and her face broke into an uncontrollable beam. "Emma" she sighed again, this time all adoring and emotional.

But Emma didn't have time to engulf herself in the feeling of pride when Zelena walked into the room.

"Hey sis" she greeted while approaching the table. So rudely thinking it was made for her. Emma fisted her hands in anger but when she spoke up it was all calm and almost submissive like.

"Enjoy your meal" she greeted in nonchalance, though she was sure Regina could spot the hurt and humiliation all over her face.

"Emma?" she questioned, perplexed but Emma just passed her and grabbed her bag on her way to the door.

The minute she opened it a hand grabbed her arm. She turned to face a worried Regina.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, evidently not wanting Zelena as a part of this conversation.

"I made us dinner" Emma shrugged and her face fell "But apparently I'm the help" she couldn’t keep the hurt out of her voice while saying it. She cast her eyes down when they started to water.

"Emma-"

"It's okay, I get it" she freed her arm out of her grasp "enjoy your meal"

She turned around and descended the stairs.

"Emma" Regina called after her but Emma was already halfway through the street, walking quickly and trying her best not to let the tears fall.

* * *

 

God knows how long she wandered the streets. She didn't check her watch, but the setting sun was a signaling the approaching evening.

Emma made a detour to the park.

Walking in the forest of green calmed her a little.

It wasn't Regina's fault, Emma new that from the minute Zelena walked in, but the pent up frustration of the situation caused Emma to somehow project those emotions onto Regina as if _it was_ her fault.

After wandering aimlessly for a while she turned and headed home. The streets emptied significantly, most of the working people already made it home.

She weighed entering Granny's for a cup of coffee but dropped it. She was in no mode to act normal nor explaining why she was moody.

She stomped up the stairs to her apartment, eyes cast down.

Her eyes landed on black heels, resting against her door. She looked up.

"Regina?" she questioned, frowning, over the brunette leaning against her door with four bags in hand. Emma wrecked her brain, trying to figure out how she hadn't spotted Regina's car, realizing her look was cast down for most of her stroll.

Regina made a dismissal gesture with her head, smirking "Some gorgeous blonde made this for me, but unfortunately she ran away. I was hoping you feel in the mood for a romantic dinner?" she inquired with a full on smile and soft eyes.

Emma's eyes cast down to the bags and back up.

"And Zelena?"

Regina cleared her throat "Zelena was explained that I have prior engagements."

Emma gulped.

"Ones that matter more" she added and leaned in for a quick pack. "I'm so sorry for what just happened" she apologized, eyes pleading.

"It's okay" Emma quickly assured, in awe of the gesture. No matter how many times it happens, she will still be surprised from people holding onto her instead of pushing her away, disposing her. "It wasn't your fault"

She reaches for the key, hands shaking. Why is she so emotional it's only fucking dinner. Only it's not, Regina has chosen her over her sister and fuck if it isn't doing things to Emma's heart.

"Emma?" Regina asks gently and Emma lets out a watery laugh, gesturing her hand animatedly she assures "Oh don't mind me, it's just a stupid- well. Yeah"

Regina lifts her chin up, locking their eyes.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me" she says with so much care and endearment in her eyes that Emma can only nod.

"As you are to me" she rasps out and Regina leans in for another kiss, this one much deeper.

"And don't think for a moment that I forgot about the fact that you actually made me dinner, and a rather fancy one" she smirks and Emma's cheeks warm up.

"So we are going to eat this beautifully made, divinely smelling food and then I'm going to show you how grateful I am for the gesture" she promises with a mirthful smile and gleaming eyes.

Emma gulps and nods quickly reaching for the lock hastily, eager to get the two of them alone.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sexual content (not as much as I would've liked ;) but we'll get there eventually)

There are knocks on the door.

At first Emma ignores them, snuggling into Regina's form.

But they don't stop and sooner rather than later Ruby starts yelling her name as well.

"Emma! Open the door!"

Emma groans but picks herself up. While waiting for the slight dizziness of sitting up so quickly to pass she registers that it's probably late at night. She rolls her eyes at Ruby's night owl hours and her lack of understanding that not everyone endures that quality.

She almost opens the door, realizing last minute that opening the door with panties only wouldn't be the best of choices. She picks up her discarded pajama shirt off the floor and puts it on.

"Thank go-" Ruby starts as she opens the door but Emma shushes her immediately.

"It's middle of the night" she chastises her brunette friend who seems unfazed by the hostile looks and angry body language.

"Aw come on! It's not my fault!" she exclaims, half whispering half yelling "someone here told me she would text me as soon as she gets back so I know she made it safe." Ruby retorts accusingly and Emma has the dignity the flinch at that because she did promise.

"I know, I'm sorry I-" she freezes at the sound of rustling, glancing to catch Regina turning on her stomach and kicking away the blanket. Emma's eyes go round when she hears Ruby gasp.

"Is there someone here?" she almost yells and Emma motions her to lower her voice.

"Err" Emma looks for some explanation but Ruby is faster. She tries to move forward but Emma blocks her way with one hand on the door and another on wall, preventing her from catching a glimpse of an almost naked Regina, clad with a tiny lace thong while her ass is gloriously sticking up in the air.

Ruby pouts and frowns but then realizations downs on her.

"Is it the guy from work?" she asks excitedly "The one you've been crushing on for months?" she clasps her hands excitedly and Emma glances nervously at Regina before looking back to Ruby and hesitantly nodding.

"Good job" Ruby pats her on shoulder, making a motion to turn and leave. The minute Emma lowers her hands, Ruby turns around and shoves Emma back.

Emma doesn't get to scold her when Ruby gasps loudly.

"It's a girl?!" she exclaims, scanning Regina's, quite frankly gorgeous, back side. She sends an angry look Emma's way "You told me you weren't into them!" she blames, quite childishly and Emma shrugs, not knowing how to respond.

Ruby stands there, frozen, her gaze alternating between Emma and Regina. Abruptly, she starts taking off her jacket.

"I'm joining in" she announces and Emma places both of her hands on her shoulders, pushing her back.

"You are not" she says sternly, but she can't keep her mouth from quirking up at the ridiculousness of the situation.

"But" Ruby protests, looking like a sad puppy "she so hot" she whispers loudly and Emma snickers.

"Oh yes she is" she agrees full heartedly "But she is mine and mine only" she stares Ruby down but her smile is all giddy and she just knows that Ruby is happy for her.

"Share a little you selfish bitch" Ruby tries to bite but she can't stop the snicker at the end of the sentence. Emma's shoulders shake from the silent laughter.

"You bet I am" she smiles proudly, she knows Ruby approves and it feels so much better than she thought it would; having Ruby knowing about the biggest thing in her life right now.

"Fine" Ruby deflates, though her eyes are still shining "bring her for breakfast tomorrow" she points her finger and gives Emma her stern look.

"You got it," Emma pushes Ruby all the way back muttering "Goodbye" before shutting it in her face.

She lies on the bed with a sigh and it takes Regina half a second to wrap a hand around her mid-section.

She groans, her voice laced with sleep "Take that off" she tugs the shirt and Emma snickers.

"Yes your majesty"

* * *

 

Emma opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling.

Rare were the times she actually beat the clock, and this was one of them.

She turned to look at Regina, who turned around during the night, and was showing Emma quite the view. Emma scanned her almost naked body with a smirk.

Regina was a heavy slipper and Emma was about to find out just how much.

Emma placed a tender, loving kiss on her shoulder blade and slowly descended to her chest. She blew air on her nipples, watching them stiff in awe. She kissed around the areola and then closed her mouth gently on the stiffened pick. She felt Regina tremble while sighing in her sleep. She looked up to make sure she was still sleeping and started swirling her tongue, licking up and down and sucking gently.

Regina made a throaty sound and Emma halted, her mouth still covering her right breast. When the brunette seemed to settle back to sleep Emma lifted her mouth and blew cold air, watching the tight peak get even smaller and perkier. She neglected this one and moved to give the same treatment to the Regina's other breast.

Regina started moving, her legs rubbing together, making Emma smirk smugly at the motion. She grazed her teeth back and forth over the nipple until Regina practically squirmed under her mouth.

"Mmm" she moaned groggily "Care explaining what are you doing?" Regina's throaty voice filled the otherwise silent apartment.

Emma shrugged, despite knowing Regina can't see her.

"I'm having breakfast" she said nonchalantly and Regina's eyes opened.

"You what?"

Emma turned crimson, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"Never mind" she made a move the pull back but Regina's hand laced in her hair, pulling her towards her abandoned nipple.

"Oh no, you don't get to stop now" she commended, her legs pressing tighter into each other as Emma got back to the wet peak.

Emma licked and sucked in the earnest, enjoying the sounds she was eliciting off Regina. Her hands wandered over her ribs, teasing the other nipple, but never lower.

Regina started squirming again and shoved her hand inside her panties. Emma sucked in a breath at the sight.

"Is this okay?" Regina halted, her face colored with a mixture of vulnerability and yearning.

Emma nodded vigorously and lowered herself back to the nipple. She kept sucking and nipping, tighter and harder and Regina's hand moved furiously between her legs. Her moans were closer and closer to each other and then her all body went rigid and her eyes closed, her brows in a frown as pleasure washed over her body.

She slumped against the mattress, regaining her senses.

When she took her hand out of her panties Emma was surrounded with an earthy smell, somehow spicy yet enticing all at the same time. Nothing like she ever came across with before.

Regina's hand came to rest on her stomach, slightly shining with wetness and suddenly Emma was overcome by the desire to taste it, to taste Regina.

With shaking hands she lifted her hand and placed the two fingers in her mouth. Her eyes were round as her tongue glided over the fingers, trying to determine how she felt about the sheer liquid. It was earthy and spicy, just like the smell indicated but also sweet with a tinge of something else, something that is totally Regina.

Regina watched her intently, trying to gauge her reaction.

After her initial shock Emma cleaned Regina's fingers completely and placed her head on her chest.

"I can’t wait for us to…" she swallowed, trying to figure out how to put it without triggering or pressuring Regina "open up" was what she went with eventually. Her head lifted with Regina's sternum as she took deep breaths. She kissed Emma's head affectionately.

"Me too"

They laid there quietly for a little while.

"It's my mother" Regina said out of the blue.

"Huh?"

"The reason I had to travel" Regina provided "She is sick, she is going through treatments but she doesn’t want anyone knowing since sickness is weakness" Emma could practically see Regina rolling her eyes at that. She sighed.

"Anyway, she didn't want people knowing about it so we kept it a secret."

"And you're telling me this" Emma half asked half stated.

"I do"

"Why?"

"Because I trust you" she said simply, having no idea the affect it had on Emma.

Emma blinked rapidly, trying the stop the sudden tears from falling.

"Thank you" she whispered and Regina chuckled.

"Of course," she said fondly "you are so much Emma, to me and to so many other people. I have the entire world to hide from and I don't want to hide from you." She squeezed her form tighter into hers.

"You don't have to" she said immediately, biting her lower lip.

Should she? Tell Regina about her plans? It doesn't feel right anymore, keeping it from her. She is not the person she was before Boston, their relationship is not what it used to be before their trip. They're different, deeper, more trusting.

"I'm going to lay off waitressing a little" she says quietly.

"That's great" Regina rushes to say.

"And I've been thinking-" she clears her throat "I've been wanting- err- planning, I mean to start taking a course or two maybe." She adds with insecurity and her body stiffens as she waits for Regina's response.

She is quite for a moment.

"As in college courses?"

Emma nods, realizing Regina might not be able to see her nod, she adds a verbal confirmation "yes"

"That's wonderful, I'm so proud of you" Regina says happily and Emma, seized by emotions, turns around and kisses her deeply. Again and again, until her alarm blares and they yank themselves to get ready for work.

* * *

 

"You'll catch flies" Emma nudges Ruby.

They opted on breakfast at Granny's just like she promised. When they entered the diner Ruby was tending a costumer, oblivious to Emma and Regina taking a seat in one of the booths.

Ruby was waving over to Emma and approaching their table, Regina is still hidden from her.

"Hello ladies," she greeted, scribbling down their table number in her notebook "what can I get yo-" she froze once laying her eyes on Regina, who smiled timidly at her.

"Rub's" Emma tries again and that seems to shake her off her frozen state.

"Fuck" she whispers, looking at Emma accusingly while Regina lifted her eyebrows, amused. "You say you're not into girls and then you get her?" she accuses, feeling cheated.

Emma chuckles "Meet Regina," she smiles giddily "my girlfriend" she whispers the last part and they share an adoring smile.

"Pleasure" Regina reaches out for a hand shake and Ruby takes it, while still shamelessly checking her out.

Emma eyes their interaction with a questioning look.

"Ruby let go of my girlfriend" she says eventually and Ruby takes a step back.

"A girlfriend who will not be sharing Emma with you" Regina adds haughtily and Emma chokes.

"You heard that?" she asks but none of the brunette's spare her a glance, too concentrated on their stare-off.

"Fine" Ruby agrees immediately, chin up "No Emma, just you and me" she winks and Emma rises to slap her shoulder.

"Ouch" Ruby pouts while rubbing the sore spot and Regina chuckles.

"Lay off" she threatens and Ruby blows her a kiss.

"If you ever change your mind…" Ruby hints, ignoring Emma's scolding look "I know my way around a woman" she eyes Regina suggestively.

"Hey" Emma calls, offended "I've practiced"

Ruby snorts and Regina looks at her with predatory look.

"Oh you did?" she says seductively while Emma turns crimson red. Why did she feel the need to mention that? Idiot.

"Y-yeah" Emma answers and shrinks in her seat from embarrassment.

"Mmm" is all Regina says while Ruby watches them in amusement.

Emma buries herself in the menu.

"Pancakes" she says in a strained voice as she hands Ruby the menu and scratches the back of her neck.

"I'll have French toast and black coffee" Regina says, all business like. Ruby nods and scribbles it down and Emma can't figure out why she is the only one who can't seem to overcome the previous situations.

They wait for the food when Regina's foot brushes against her calf, making Emma jump in her seat.

"Want to tell me how exactly you practiced?" Regina asks with a devious smile and gleaming eyes.

"No" Emma answers quickly. Fuck, just when the blush finally wore off.

Regina chuckles "You'll tell me anyway" she says simply, as if she's commending Emma.

"I practiced on myself" Emma says uncomfortably and looks up to catch Regina biting her lip.

"That's hot" she says breathily and Emma feels a ping of pride knowing she caused this.

"There you go ladies" Ruby places the plates in front of them.

"So what exactly did you d-?"

"Can we stop talking about it, please?" Emma cuts her off and Regina senses her prickliness and nods.

"Fine, but you'll have to show me exactly what you learned later" Regina says as a matter of fact and indulges in the steamy food in front of her.

Emma is gaping at her, gulping. They had done things, Regina had done things to her, but it was always under her clothes. She was never naked in front of Regina and this is a whole new level of intimacy and vulnerability. Vulnerability that multiplies by the fact that she is going to be the only one naked when they do this, the only one touched. And she is not sure she is ready to open herself up like that, not just yet.

Suddenly she's not so keen on eating anymore. She tries shoving food in, just to show that everything's ok. Sending tight smiles Regina's way and hoping she won't notice the brick of dreadness that just settled in Emma's stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bump in the road but don't worry guys! I also want to say one more thing; not that I think that any of you complain about the smutty scenes but I just wanted to explain why I put them. Yes, it's very fun to read and it's a part of every love story but it also plays a huge part in Emma's journey of getting to know her body and her desires on a whole new level. In other words, this story is about Emma discovering her sexuality and that includes her getting to know the physical part of being with a woman which I feel like is an inseparable part of this story. The reason I'm talking about it is so you know that more scenes are going to come and they have several layers of meanings- from the simple physical aspect all the way to emotional and mental growth.


	38. Chapter 38

After that breakfast Emma doesn't see Regina for more than a few seconds at a time for the rest of the week.

Missing work days has her schedule packed more than ever before; back to back meetings, appointments, conference calls and so on. She works late for the remaining of the week while Emma works at the restaurant three nights in a row to cover for the previous week.

They don't get to talk, or kiss, nor do anything more than that, and for that Emma is grateful; she is still not comfortable with the whole idea of finally taking everything off. Too much stands in the way, starting from confident issues, performing anxiety and this unavoidable fear that she will somehow manage scare Regina away. What if she does it wrong? What if her vagina is ugly? She has seen vaginas on the internet, beautiful and symmetrical and pink; definitely worlds apart from what she has. And knowing Regina, the woman probably has a perfect one. Not seeing Regina gives her time to drown on that notion that she is flawed, somehow even disgusting.

They're supposed to go out for dinner on Friday evening and Emma is stressed like a tampon.

She drinks a beer right before she heads out and once they settle in the restaurant, again, where she feels out of her depth, she orders a Gin based cocktail.

"I'm sorry about this week, my schedule has been hectic" Regina apologizes as they take their seats.

"Oh that's alright, I was busy myself" Emma assures quickly, her leg jigging nervously while she waits for her savior.

The waiter places her cocktail and Regina's glass of wine in front of them and Emma thanks him.

She dives in immediately, drinking and drinking, missing Regina's eyes boring into her.

"Is everything alright?" she asks at Emma's suspicious behavior.

"Everything is alright" she promises in a voice a pitch higher than usual. She finishes her glass and motions the waiter for another one.

"Emma" Regina says warningly and Emma tries to master an innocent look.

"What?"

"Tell me what wrong" Regina folds her hands, never taking her eyes off Emma.

"Nothing" she says quickly, a little too quickly. Sighing in relief when he places another glass in front of her, she drinks half of its content in one sip, finally starting to feel the liquor heading to her head.

Regina taps her foot impatiently but Emma remains silent.

She gets up abruptly and drags Emma with her to the bathroom. Emma gives up on resisting after a few quite forceful tags.

Regina shoves her into one of the stools and locks the door, efficiently blocking any flee route Emma can come up with.

"Regina-"

"Tell me what's wrong" she insists, her eyes boring into Emma. Emma's gaze jumps all over the room but never lands on Regina.

"Emma" she sighs, sounds almost defeated. "Please tell me what's wrong. You've been shutting me out since Tuesday morning and I honestly have no idea what happened. Did I do something?"

Emma bites her lip "No, it's not you, I mean it is you but- ugh" she groans, frustrates, because, words…

"I don't think I'm ready for whatever you suggested we do" she mumbles, her sentence sounds more like a one long word rather than an explanation.

Regina frowns for a moment and then catches up with her.

"You mean what I said about you showing me…?"

"Yes" she admits shamefully.

Regina laughs in relief and kisses Emma's cheek fondly.

"Dear god," she sighs and whispers in Emma's ear "We don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, never. And, you're not allowed to be scared about telling me this; I won't judge you or want you any less if you do."

Emma's entire body softens at that and suddenly fretting over this for three days seems like a joke to her.

"You can't keep being afraid about telling me things. I'm resilient, trust me I can take whatever it is that you're thinking. What I cannot take nor fix is you shutting me out. How can we fix the problem if I'm not aware of it? Mmm?"

"I dunno" Emma shrugs, suddenly feeling like a stupid little child.

"Relationships are based on communication. Almost everything can be fixed or walked around but you have to talk to me. Okay? I need to get that in that pretty head of yours." She says fondly and Emma nods and draws her in for another hug while her brain walks through everything she just said.

Regina is right, she can't keep shutting herself out. That's a good strategy when you want to keep to yourself but Emma doesn't want that anymore, she wants Regina in her fort with her, not outside of it. She needs to learn to let her in. Regina has proven more the worthy.

She also can't keep that little figure in her head screaming _'yeah, keep pushing her away, sooner or later she'll get tired of trying to get to you and then she'll leave'_

Emma shakes her head, as if to get rid of those toxic thoughts and instead she drowns herself in the best medicine.

She leans in and kisses Regina's ear, laughing when she shudders.

Regina pulls back and smiles at her.

"Now let's go back to our dinner shall we?" her thumb ghosts over Emma's cheekbone. And she almost says those three words, the _words_ , but stops herself at the last minute. She nods and Regina opens the door.

When they go out to the bathroom space a woman is looking at them judgingly. They both giggle like little girls at her appalled expression all the way to their table.

* * *

 

The restaurant is located near the Village and since it's not especially late they decide on a detour to their favorite place; the Brooklyn Heights promenade.

They stroll slowly, their hands entwined and Emma can't help but wonder how far they've come. It's not the physicality she thinks about, since some would even claim that they haven't even had sex yet; it's their emotional connection, Regina's meaning in her life that awes her. She can't imagine her life without her and that frightens Emma. Out of reflex she squeezes her hand, surprised when Regina squeezes back, reassuring her without even being aware. And then the serenity claims her once more.

"I was wandering" Regina breaks their comfortable silence "If you'd like to join me next weekend. My friend, Mal-"

"The one who owns the coffee shop?" Emma jumps in in an attempt to connect the dots in her head.

"Exactly, she is having a house party, nothing fancy but she will be there and Daniel will be there and it's a chance for you to get to know them." She asks timidly, her voice careful "That is of course, if you're interested…"

But she has nothing to be careful about; Emma beams at her and nods vigorously.

"Of course, I'd love to!" she says happily and Regina smiles, relieved.

"Good, it's settled then" she leans in for a kiss, smiling against Emma's lips.

Emma squeezes her ass and Regina almost squeals.

"Miss Swan" she chastises and Emma laughs out loud.

"Miss Swan is it? Want to place me on your lap and spank the sass out of me while you're at it?" she bites cheekily and Regina smiles deviously at her.

"My my, I like the way it sounds, I might do just that" she threatens with a sly smirk.

"Well, you might but only if you can catch me" Emma springs ahead with her feet comfortably clad in snickers while Regina's are clad, and thank the lord for this, in high heels.

"Emma!" she calls half angered half amused and Emma's rolling laughter turns every head in a mile-radios.

* * *

 

Emma spends the night at Regina's. She even brings spare clothes and all.

When she moves to put her used clothes in her backpack for the sake of putting on pajamas Regina snatches the bundle of fabric and throws it into her washing machine.

When Emma questions her actions she shrugs nonchalantly and says that Emma could keep a change of clothes at her place, just in case. Emma is obnoxiously giddy for an hour after that.

They watch a movie, snuggled together on the couch while Emma munches a bag after bag of popcorn.

 _'How do you eat so much and stay so thin?'_ Regina asks while snaking her hand under her top and over her defined stomach. Emma shrugs in response and mumbles with her mouth still full _'Genes'_

They doze off. Waking up in the middle of the night with sore necks, they make their way to the bedroom, snuggling tightly into each other.

They have a lazy Saturday. This time, Regina sits with her in the balcony, legs draped on Emma's lap while they sip coffee and chat aimlessly. And it's incredibly domestic and perfect that Emma can’t believe that it's really happening.

They walk to the Village where there's a street market for young designers.

They walk around, Emma licking her newly bought ice cream while making eyes to Regina and Regina threating in response that if she doesn't stop licking the ice cream like that she is going to make her lick something else. Emma smiles broadly and lifts her chin up 'Bring it on' she says and makes slurping noises until Regina slaps her shoulder.

Emma spots a beautiful delicate bracelet with a crown charm attached to it. She drags Regina to the stand and buys it for her. When Regina asks her why this one, she explains that she searched the meaning of the name Regina and it means queen.

Then it's Regina's turn to be giddy for a good hour or so.

They reach the end of the market zone and Regina directs Emma into her favorite lingerie shop; which is so freaking expensive that the products don't even have price tags on them. When Emma tries to protest Regina shushes her with a deadly look, saying it's her present for Emma.

After trying on all kinds of sexy, lacy bras and match panties Emma mumbles defiantly that this is more of Regina's present then hers.

She says it while wearing matched thong and bra with lace details and almost no fabric and Regina tilts her head back and laughs and then says _'Yes, probably'_

She ends up leaving the store with a couple of items, racy and expensive looking. Regina won’t let her see the bill and the only revenge Emma can think of is sending her pictures of Emma in those while at work. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

It's somewhere around noon when Regina excuses herself. A family gathering she says and everything about her body language is carful, like she is afraid to hurt Emma. But Emma understands and Emma doesn't mind and she assures her just that, whishes her fun and sends her off with a quick peck.

* * *

 

"So, when are you going to bring her again?" Ruby asks, her gaze still on the TV and her fingers dripping with melted cheese and oil. Thank god she still has Ruby to munch with.

Emma snickers and shakes her head.

"Oh you're not seeing her until I'm sure that you have it under control." She sends Ruby an amused look.

"I said I was sorry," she exclaims while picking up another slice "can you blame me?"

"No" Emma drawls "But you have to stop hitting on my girlfriend. Besides, you have Peter, stop being greedy" she points a judging finger at Ruby who bats her eyes innocently.

"Peter's fine with it"

"When it's with girls" Emma adds and she nods.

"He thinks it's hot" she provides with a proud smile.

"Yeah, until some masculine butch lady will fuck you with her strap on and then, all of a sudden he wouldn't." she points out with a knowing look. "Guys aren't threatened by beautiful feminine ladies 'cause they don't step in their territory. But that changes the minute they start embracing more of a manly manners and start doing what men like to call 'their job'."

Ruby looks at her impressed "Someone has done her homework" she nods appreciatively.

"I got a lady to please" Emma shrugs and Ruby laughs.

"Damn right you do"

"Talking about Regina, I need your help" Emma chews her lip nervously.

"Shoot"

"She invited me to a party one of her friends is having and that's the first time I'm going to meet any of her friends" Emma's tone is cautious.

"Okay…" Ruby promotes "and?"

"What if they don't like me? What if I'm there and I'm dressed like" she searches her head for a metaphor in "a peasant and they're royalty?" And it's insecurity and worry all over again. Will she ever be able to get over it?

Ruby nods "Yeah, I understand what you're saying. We'll just have to make sure it doesn't happen." She says with confidence "We'll go shopping, something classy but sexy, just like last time. It worked then, didn't it?"

"Yeah" Emma chuckles "That was the first time Regina pushed me against the wall and kissed the breath out of me" she smiles at the memory and Ruby whistles.

"Dammit Emma, you lucky bustard" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like lately we've been focusing on Emma and Regina only, which is always great but it also means neglecting other characters in the process. So I will be putting some more Ruby, Mary Margaret and Ashley in the mix… And, I think it's like the first time I didn't end it with a cliffhanger!


	39. Chapter 39

It feels like weeks have passed since Emma stepped foot in the glassed lobby and not several days. The previous week Emma was so stressed about Regina and exposing herself that she was working on robot mode. Now, she actually stopped to take a look on the large spacious floor. How crazy it is that only a few months ago she was sitting in a couch with practically no future and now it almost feels like she has it all. Yes, things can always be better but foster kids learn to appreciate what they have pretty quickly instead of yearning for the impossible.

She waves to the secretary who directed her all those months ago, now she knows her name is Natalie, while on the way to the elevator.

When she approaches her desk, spotting the pile that had gathered over the weekend (god knows how), she chuckles. Work never stops.

"Emma!" she turns to the chipper voice of Mary Margaret who rushes over for a big hug.

"Hi" she mumbles into her shoulder.

"I missed you, how are you doing?" she steps back to scan Emma with worried eyes.

"I'm fine, I'm fine" she assures with a dismissive motion of her hand. She was a nervous wreck all throughout that week, chewing her nails and dozing off conversations and poor Mary Margaret had no idea how to cheer her up.

She steals a quick glance, Regina is still a no show.

"How are you?" she re-directs the conversation to safer subjects "How's the planning coming along?"

It's working, talking to a future bride about her upcoming wedding never fails and Mary Margaret soon starts babbling endlessly about her new ideas.

And Emma is pleasantly surprised if not impressed. If she's being honest, things weren't looking bright when Mary Margaret first talked about wanting a 'fairytale wedding' but once she's started elaborating about the location of their planned wedding Emma started liking that idea.

Instead of doing a casual, normal, evening wedding David and Mary Margaret found some type of a farm that is used to weddings and nature-type vacations. They're planning on renting the whole farm. It's little up north in the middle of a forest near a small lake, and their wedding will turn into a two-day event.

Every couple will get a small cabin and the wedding will be located in the main hall. That way, Mary Margaret explains, people can drink and stay up for as late as they want without worrying about getting home. Almost a small vacation within a wedding.

Emma really likes that idea and can already imagine herself sneaking into Regina's cabin late at night for a hot making out session under the noses of so many of their peers.

"Wow, that's a really good plan" she smiles broadly and Mary Margret beams at the support.

"I need your help" she says with large, round eyes.

"Sure"

"The wedding will happen at the end of September" she announces and Emma's eyebrows shot up at the close date.

"Why so early?" she inquires and Mary Margaret's cheeks tint and she mumbles.

"I wanted a warmer weather and we don't want to wait for next year" and she says it in a way that makes Emma drop the subject.

"Anyway," she continues "I need you to plan my bachelorette party" she smiles sweetly, probably trying to distract Emma from the request itself.

It doesn't work.

"You what?"

"Please, nothing big, I promise!" she grabs her hand and squeezes it.

Emma rolls her eyes "Dammit" she says under her nose "Can't anyone else do it?"

And when Mary Margaret looks at her with those large sad eyes she has no choice but to relent.

"Fine" she grits out, less than happy about the extra responsibility.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she goes in for a hug.

"But just so you know," she warns "I'll probably do a shitty job"

"Oh that's fine" Mary Margaret says happily and she sighs.

* * *

 

"Emma," Kathryn's head popped out from behind the corner "A minute?"

"Sure" she scrambled off her chair and followed Kathryn to her own office.

"Have a seat" she gestured while going around the table to her own chair.

Emma looked at her expectantly.

"So," she started while smiling kindly at Emma "usually it is something I'd have handed Mary Margret but she's been and will be pretty busy in upcoming weeks" she gave her a knowing look. Looks like Mary Margaret wasn't keeping it a secret. If fact, it seems like she's just incapable of that in general.

Emma nods and Kathryn continues "You have done a splendid job assisting me with the annual employee's gathering and I see no reason why I shouldn't hand this job to you.

"As I'm sure you're aware of, we have an extension is Europe, London to be precise and despite it being quite large in size it's yet to have an HR dept. Of course, they have representatives but not nearly enough to execute this event in a way that meets our standards. That's where you come in. I would like you to work under my supervision and assist Regina" Emma's ears perked up at the mention of her girlfriend "with this event."

"What is it exactly?" she inquired and Kathryn made a none-committal noise.

"Do you have a notebook?"

When Emma shook her head Kathryn pulled a stack of folders with the company's name imprinted on the left side as well as a pen.

"Alright, this event is actually a fundraiser. One of our major projects is a combination between business and charity work. What does it mean? We're building a private hospital with cutting edge technology but we will offer portions of it to the public population. That way we can collect donations under that cause, as well as put our firm in a very prestigious list of 'giving back' companies."

Emma scribbled it all down quickly as Kathryn showed no intention of slowing down. She remembers Regina talking about an event but it's all vague since it was in Boston and she was either filled with worry or distracted by Regina's authoritative aura and sexy reading glasses. Her girlfriend is too hot for her own good.

"Since the hospital will place in London, that's where we'll have the fundraiser. It's an important event to Mills' as a company but also to the Mills family itself since it's their personal initiative."

Emma nodded while Kathryn took a sip of her abandoned cup of coffee before continuing.

"That's why Regina will be in charge of that with my help and your assistance. What does it mean to you? Logistic work combined with vendors, service givers, location, flights, execution; just like you did last time only fancier, larger in scale, in budget and abroad. Of course I'll be here to assist every step of the way as well as Mary Margaret that will pick up some of the work load but when it comes to location scouting and accompanying Regina it will be all you."

Her eyes went round when she realized what was just said to her.

"When you say accompany you mean-" she swallowed and Kathryn filled the blank for her.

"You'll be flying to London, will that be a problem?" she inquired with a slight frown.

"No not at all" she quickly assured and Kathryn nodded in approval, happy with that answer.

"Excellent, I'll refer you to Maya, she works under me in HR and she's our direct contact to the travel agency we work with. She'll help with everything travel related once it gets to it. Any questions?"

"No ma'am" Emma smiled broadly, still incredibly excited by the concept of flying to London. And with Regina! How lucky is she?

"Great, I'll see you around and I'll send you the list once it's over."

"Sure" Emma got up from her chair and made her way to the door, Kathryn accompanying her.

"Ask Mary Margaret to squeeze you in Regina's schedule as soon as possible but no less than half an hour, go through everything with Regina; just like with did the last time, starting from goals, deadlines, expectation. Make sure you get it done properly and you'll be compensated for that." Kathryn smirked and opened the door.

"I will, thank you"

"Have a good day Emma"

"You too"

She crossed the floor back to her office with a smile threating to break out. She will fly to London, London! Who would have thought?

When she entered her cube she came across a restless looking Mary Margaret.

"Is everything alright?" she asked and when her peer looked up relief spread across her face.

"Finally!" she exclaimed while scrambling out of her chair.

"I need you to call Ms. Mills and tell her that she is late to a meeting" she said while frantically looking for something. Eventually, she lifted a card in triumph.

"There," she said and handed it to Emma "this is her personal cell. I can't get a hold of her on her business line. Please tell her to come as soon as possible since Jones is already waiting in her office." She picked up her stuff, including a large notebook and a file case.

"He complained twice already" she said, distressed. "And I have a meeting to attend to" she glanced at the clock "Like now!"

Emma lifted her hands in an attempt to calm Mary Margaret down.

"It's fine, I'll handle this" she nodded "Go"

"Thank you" she said in a matter of seconds Mary Margaret was out of sight.

Emma picked up the card she was handed and chuckled to herself. As if she doesn't know Regina's phone by heart. Shaking her head she approached Mary Margret's desk and picked up the stationary phone.

"Mills" Regina's collected tone was heard and Emma smiled.

"Is that how you speak to your girlfriend?" she teased while looking around to make sure no one was there to hear her. The area was practically deserted.

"Emma" she breathed out and all of a sudden her tone was like liquid warm chocolate.

"Yes, Mary Margaret asked me to call you. Apparently you have a meeting you're late to?"

"Yes that's correct, I'm on my way from the 29th floor as we speak."

"Okay, so I'll go and tell him that" Emma concluded.

"Remind me who it is"

Emma snickered "Your beloved harasser Mr. Jones in the flesh"

Regina's huff was heard over the line, making Emma smile.

"Don't go in there, I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Emma smirked, pure jealousy, she thought in amusement.

"It’s okay, I don't mind, he asked about you twice already…"

"I mind," she admitted "where's Mary Margaret? Can't she do it?"

"She is in a meeting, I'll be fine…" she assures with a mischievous smile "I'll make sure his hands are nowhere inappropriate"

"Emma!" Regina warned

"See you soon" she said quickly and ended the call.

The smile on her face wore off as soon as she opened the door.

"Mr. Jones" she said professionally, as if announcing the next train arrival "Ms. Mills will be here shortly."

He looked up at her and that obnoxious smug smile of his immediately made an appearance.

"Ah" he sighed contently while his eyes swiped over her form "Swan, fancy seeing you here."

"I work here" she stated as dully as possible. Don't get angry, he is not worth is.

"I think it's fate" he said and she had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at him. Can't he take no for an answer?

When she said nothing in return he continued.

"I'm free tonight, how about a drink?" he eyed her suggestively.

"No thank you"

"Let's skip the drink and go straight to my house then" he said and she huffed in annoyance, her body language screaming anger but he didn't seem to notice "Or your house, whichever you prefer."

The door opened and an irritated looking Regina stepped into the room. She immediately scanned the distance between Emma and the sitting men with sharp eyes.

"Thank you Miss Swan, you are free to leave"

Emma frowned but when Regina showed no intention of saying anything else she turned to walk away.

Almost out the door she heard a 'Mr. Jones' as Regina probably chastised him for staring at her ass while she walked out. She'd put some good money on that.

* * *

 

She was making her way to grab some coffee when a hand gripped her forearm.

"What-" she turned to look at Regina who dragged her into the bathroom and into one of the stalls.

"Regina?" was all she managed to ask before Regina flushed her body against hers, diving into a passionate kiss. Regina dominated that kiss, shoving her tongue inside Emma's mouth, nipping at her lower lip until she was on the verge of crying out and grounding her against the wall with two well-placed hands on her hips.

When she finally broke away, letting Emma have a much needed breath, she locked their eyes; their lips still inches away.

"You're mine" she determined, her eyes fiery "Do you understand that?"

She gave Emma no room to answer, diving in for another kiss, driving Emma insane with wandering hands and skilled tongue. And Emma welcomed the attack with open arms because she is Regina's and hers only. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like our ladies are about to go on a trip. In general, they have plenty of things coming: the party, the wedding and flying to London. Things are about to get interesting ;)
> 
> I will say in advance: unfortunately I'm being dragged into a boring family trip >


	40. Chapter 40

"So, a dress then?"

"I don't know"

Emma's hands ghosted over the fabrics with no real purpose.

"What will Regina wear?" Ruby turned to look at her, already possessing two dresses and a revealing looking shirt.

"Probably a dress" Emma provided. Regina always wears dresses.

"So that's your safe bet," Ruby determined, her focus on the clothes again "if Regina is wearing a dress, even if you are over-dressed, at least you're not alone… You don't want to get there and be the only one with jeans right?"

Emma nodded.

"Stick to Regina's dress code" she concluded and that sounded reasonable to Emma.

"Alright then, but I don’t want it to be too fancy or revealing, just the right amount."

"Oh don't worry" Ruby assured off hand "that's exactly my specialty"

Emma's judgmental look swiped over her form.

"Is that so?" she chuckled and Ruby threw one of the dress on her in return.

* * *

 

"What if they don't like me?" Emma nibbled her bottom lip.

"Don't be ridiculous" Regina chastised over the phone "where are you anyway?"

"I'm on my way, I'm on my way" Emma assured while fishing for her wallet. She was tired of feeling like a burden all the time. That's why she insisted on arriving to Regina's apartment on her own instead of causing a huge detour in Regina's route.

Normally, Regina would just wave her off and come anyway but she had a late meeting and so Emma's offer was accepted just this once.

"It will be 17.70" the cub driver announced after pulling next to the big mansion. Emma couldn't help but wince slightly. After buying the dress and dropping shifts money was tight. She waved it off and paid the driver.

"Thank you"

"Have a good day ma'am"

With the phone still cradled between her ear and her shoulder she climbed the stairs leading to the front door.

"I'm outside"

"I'll be right there" Regina replied and the call was ended.

Emma fidgeted and pulled her dress down. It doesn't matter how many time she will wear dresses, she will never get used to the weird feeling of being exposed.

"Hello dear" Regina opened the door, smiling broadly. Then she took her time assessing Emma's attire with a hungry look.

"Making my job harder" she said while gesturing Emma to follow her in.

"What do you mean?" she frowned, walking after Regina to the living room where a cup of coffee was already awaiting.

"I'm going to have to fend people off of you with a stick" she warped an arm around Emma's thin form and drew her in for a kiss.

"Just wait here while I get changed?"

"I thought that was what you're wearing" Emma gestured to a navy blue dress, form fitting and fairly modest for Regina's style.

"Oh no, that was for work." She dismissed "I'll be right back, make yourself at home."

* * *

 

"Holy shit"

Regina descended down the stairs with a tight burgundy dress. It was shorter than usual, only reaching mid-thigh, with a plunging cleavage and no sleeves; paired with dangerously high heels and a clutch.

When Emma finally managed to get her jaw under control she shook her head.

"No, no, no"

"What?" Regina asked innocently but her eyes were gleaming.

Emma glanced around the room, spotting the coat rack she quickly approached it, grabbing a random coat and walking over to Regina.

"You're not going out like this" she said while draping the coat over Regina's shoulder "cover yourself up."

Regina tilted her head back and let out an uncontrollable rolling laugh.

Emma looked at her with a childish pout. Regina's face colored with endearment and she leaned in for a quick, yet deep kiss.

"You're cute" she smiled, still unable to turn serious after Emma's, apparently adorable, jealousy fit.

She patted her shoulder affectionately before removing the coat and re-placing it on the hanger.

"Let's go"

* * *

 

Emma wasn't a needy person, nor one to hover over someone that much. But she has yet to release Regina's hand since they left her house.

When they approached what Emma couldn't believe was a house actually larger than Regina's mansion Regina whispered in her ear "It's going to be fine. Just be your charming self and they'll fall just like I did."

Emma smiled and ducked her head at the compliment as her cheeks turned red.

The approached the door. Music and people chatting could be heard from the outside. Next to the semi-sheer glass door two men were stationed.

Regina didn't even have to open her mouth and one of them tilted his head, wearing what supposed to be a smile and opened the door.

"Miss Mills" he nodded and she nodded her acknowledgment.

The house was a one large open space with huge marble stairs leading to the second floor. There were quite a few people but it was not anywhere near crowded.

People were dressed impeccably, holding Champagne glasses while chatting calmly with one another. What could only be described as butlers roamed around the floor with trays filled with glasses, entrees and empty dishes.

There was only one word to describe that; classy.

Suddenly Emma felt extremely relieved choosing that dress. A simple, yet tasteful black dress with spaghetti straps and a low back cut, mostly covered by her blonde tresses cascading down her back.

Regina's hand rested on the bare skin of her lower back, guiding her towards who she presumes is the hostess.

"Mal" Regina called and elegantly dressed woman turned to look at them. A large smile immediately graced her face.

"Regina darling" she called happily and Regina dropped her hand and leaned forward for a quick hug and an air-kiss on the cheek.

"Long time no see" Mal said, still oblivious to Emma.

"Indeed" Regina looked, slightly up, at the taller woman with a calm smile. By now Emma learned to separate Regina's genuine reactions to her well-practiced, but still fake, ones.

"This is Emma" Regina finally turned and gestured to a shy looking Emma who nodded at the introduction. "The woman I'm seeing" Regina elaborated and Mal's eyebrows shot up at that.

"Regina Mills, seeing someone?" she looked genuinely surprised. Regina laughed and nodded. "Who would have thought" the taller woman added and shook her head in disbelief. Then, her manners took over.

"I'm so sorry" she quickly said and put out a hand Emma took "Melanie Page, an old friend" she sent an amused look to Regina while shaking Emma's hand.

"Emma Swan, nice to meet you" she smiled at her and Mal smiled in return.

"What can I get you ladies?" Mal clasped her hands, always the perfect host.

"Champagne is fine" Regina said and Emma nodded her consent.

"Yes"

"Alright then, I'll be right back" and off she went, leaving Regina and Emma alone.

Emma let out a breath and Regina rubbed her back.

"That went well" she smiled at Emma and the blonde nodded.

"She's nice"

"She is" Regina agreed "but don't get on her bad side, then she can be viscous" she added as a matter of fact and Emma gulped.

"Oh calm down" she tugged her closer, half embracing her "there is no reason for that to ever happen. That unless you break my heart of course" she raised a perfectly sculptured eyebrow but then her mask broke and she smirked.

"Never" Emma promised and leaned in for a kiss. She halted at last minute "Is it okay…?" she asked and instead of answering Regina closed the distance and kissed Emma.

"Of course it is" she said once they broke apart "You are my girlfriend and you came here as my girlfriend. You don’t need to hide. In fact, I intend to show you off and brag to anyone who would listen." Her hand squeezed Emma's hips and then lowered possessively to her ass.

"Miss Mills!" Emma mocked with an outraged face and they shared a chuckle.

"Look at you" Mal announced her return, looking fondly at the couple "You're practically smitten"

Regina rolled her eyes but didn't bite back.

"I guess I am" she looked at Emma from under her lashes which was far too endearing and kissed Emma's cheek. The blonde in return turned slight pink under the excessive attention.  "Tell someone and I'll end you" she winked to Mal and the latter cackled.

The slightly stretched moment of silence proved too much for Emma and in order to distract herself she went in for a large sip. Completely forgetting it wasn't some type of soda but a bubbly, recently opened champagne came back to bite her in the ass.

She pushed the sparkly liquid down her throat despite her body's attempts of coughing it out. Her eyes watered at that and she barely managed to hold the cough in.

Luckily for her, Mal had her hands full trying to be the perfect host and greet everyone, so she excused herself.

"Are you alright?" Regina inquired after seeing Emma's slightly watered eyes.

Emma nodded, finally managing to overcome the reaction she added "I'm fine"

"Good" Regina scanned the area and returned to Emma "do you mind if I leave you just for a quick second? I need to have a quick word with someone"

"Err" she fidgeted but decided to stay true to her promise not to get in Regina's way too much "sure" she forced a smile on her face and Regina nodded in satisfaction.

Emma's gaze followed her as she approached a bearded man, tall and all scruffy looking yet impeccably dressed in what she assumes is a designer brand.

Emma kept shamelessly staring at them as they talked animatedly with grand hand gestures. She couldn't make the tone of the conversation. She didn't know if it was angry or enthusiastic but it was definitely awake and kicking.

She scanned the place for a short while and ended up counting bubbles in her glass.

"You look bored" a female voice stated and when Emma turned to look at her, surprised to even being acknowledged she added "and lost"

Emma's lips quirked up.

"I guess you could say that" she said eventually.

"Someone's plus one?" she inquired and sipped from her glass of red wine.

Emma chuckled "Mmm"

"Lauren" she introduced herself.

"Emma" she tilted her head as a greeting. She looked nice enough, around Emma's height, pale, with blue eyes and long chestnut hair.

They were mostly quite but every once in a while one would throw a sentence to their shared space and the other would nod and comment on that.

Regina glanced over a couple of times during their, due to a lack of better word, conversation. It was when Emma made a joke and Lauren laughed and touched her arm that Regina snapped. She excused herself from the conversation and strode towards Emma.

Lauren, wisely so, realized she was intruding in some way and scurried away before Regina even had a chance to exchange a word with her.

"What was that?" she asked, her hand positioned possessively over Emma's hip.

"We were just talking" Emma shrugged and Regina looked at her, unconvinced. "What?"

"She was hitting on you" Regina stated and turned to look for Lauren's whereabouts.

"She was not" Emma claimed "we just talked"

Regina shook her head "You're so naïve" she drew here closer "she was coming on to you"

Emma frowned "But she asked me if I was someone's plus one" she tried to reason and Regina chuckled.

"It doesn't really matter, I would just be another obstacle in her way" Regina explained and Emma made a face.

"So, what were you too talking about?" Emma changed the subject, feeling that dragging Regina into a discussion about that wouldn't do any of them good. It's not like Emma actually realized Lauren's intentions, she was, merely waiting for the only person she actually wanted to talk to to become available.

"Business" she huffed and made a face "sometimes those places are the only way to get things done" she shrugged "the man I was talking to"

"Mmm?" Emma looked at him, talking to two guys while they all nursed a beer.

"He is one of the most influential people in Wall Street, one who has unlimited access to a major trust funds and connections to investment companies who search projects just like our own to invest in and donate to."

"Oh" she said, the potential behind those gatherings only now occurring to her.

"Exactly, just now, in those ten minutes I talked to him I managed to organize a meeting I've been trying to get to for at least four months now."

Emma nodded, impressed. "Wow"

"Indeed. But enough about business, that's not what we came here to do."

"True," Emma agreed, scanning the area once more "What do you want to do?"

"Let's go upstairs to the balcony, gorgeous view." She said while approaching the stairs, Emma trailing behind her. "Let's see if we can find Daniel"

Emma followed Regina up the stairs and into the crowded balcony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So… Emma's doing pretty good so far. I've decided to change Mal's name a little since Maleficent isn't a realistic name in our world… For those of you who remember their first date- they'll be meeting Daniel and maybe giving Emma a little dance show *insert smirking face here*
> 
> I don't want to give away too much, I'll just say that this party is far from over. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as much as I've enjoyed writing it :) For those of you who read Parting ways, update is due to tomorrow!


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> First, I'd like the apologize about the delay which was a combination of me not feeling well, stupidly deciding that I want to build a website from scratch and finish it at the same day I started and a writer's block. I kinda struggled with this episode, I hope you'd still enjoy it (I promise a sexy smutty one for the next chapter as a compensation)
> 
> Thank you to all of you who bothered answering my question I asked in Parting Ways- I will put shorter and more frequent updates once I upload the new story I'm working on.
> 
> I'm really proud of my new personal website so if you have the time please go and check it out (the name of the last part of third time's a charm is already there as well as a hint on what's the next story is about)
> 
> The link is in my profile as well as my twitter but I'll also write it here- www.lifein10s.wixsite.com/swanqueen
> 
> Oh and I'll also put the Third time's a charm update a day sooner so I guess that whole delay turned out well for you :)

 

They weren't even halfway through the stairs and Emma already regretted going with heels.

She went for the most classic ones she had, black, shiny and extremely high. They were not, however, the exact fit. Her bigger foot was squashed, the rough fabric irritating her skin and stooping the blood flow to the area. Her smaller foot (yes, she has uneven feet and it sucks) swam in the shoe, forcing Emma to use extra force to stop herself from tripping over.

All of those beautiful sensations heightened by the fact that Regina, with heels somehow still higher than hers, managed to float around effortlessly, making Emma look bad.

Eventually, they've made it up the three floors and into the balcony.

"Remind me again why there isn't an elevator in this place, isn't she like filthy rich?" Emma whispered in Regina's ear, noting how her short breaths hit Regina skin and cause goosebumps.

"She said it would ruin the design of the house" Regina provided, her tone steady as usual but her eyes slightly glazed.

Emma smirked. So she does have some type of influence of her.

She leaned in and whispered seductively "I'm wearing the lingerie you bought me."

She watched with satisfaction how Regina's face turned from surprised to curious and back to blank in a matter of seconds.

"Is that so?" she asks, her voice on octave lower.

"Mmm" she smirks and Regina turns to look at her, her body close.

Her eyes cascade down her body, almost as if trying to see it. But she can't, not with Emma's black-as-coal dress.

"Which one?"

Emma feigns a thinking face and after a moment of stretched silence she drawls out slowly "Mmm, I don't remember"

She breaks with a smile watching Regina smirking at her, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Play me more," she says threatens "let's who's going to beg tonight" she finishes with an amused smile.

Emma examines her and then snorts "You won't be able to keep your hands off of me" she claims. There's no chance Regina will pass on sexing her up a little with the sexy little mini outfit she has under that dress.

Regina chuckles and it's practically sinister "Oh that's not what I meant." She smirks and Emma frowns "some tease and denial honey" she emphasizes the last word while stripping her bare with her eyes.

Emma gulps.

"But now, let's socialize" she breaks their intense stare off so easily Emma's almost mad. Regina just continues as usual, nodding towards familiar faces and exchanging polite words with some while Emma's left hot and bothered thinking about her threat. Or promise. Depends how you look at that.

Emma doesn't have the richest sexual history. She had Neal and that's about it. Even with Neal, it was ridiculously inexperienced, you can even say ignorant.

They were kids. Emma grew up in places people didn't even bother to feed her, let alone have _'the talk'_ with her. Neal grew up in a warm Italian house but it was never talked about as an educational matter. Neal once told her that he tried asking his brother Anjelo about it but he just laughed at him and said _'Stick it in there, it's not rocket science'_.

So they did. Neal had no idea about the female anatomy nor the importunacy of stimulating it properly before actually doing the act. Emma has no doubt he meant well but in reality a couple of kiss and a feel-up, more for him than for her, weren't nearly enough to prepare Emma for what's to come.

It hurt like a mother fucker. She was scared and stressed and not in the slightest comfortable and it showed. She was Neal's first and it ended pretty damn quickly. Luckily.

It hurt at the times to follow as well and at some point Emma managed to convince him to drop the actual penetration act, offering a hand-job and a blow-job instead. He agreed and she was happy to do anything to prevent that painful experience again.

There were never caressing hands on the curves of her body, mouth on her skin, nipping at her neck and jaw. There were never fingers inside of her or mouth on top of her clit, pleasuring her. They didn't even know those stuff existed.

Being with Regina has put her in a shock state in the first few times. She couldn't understand the levels of pleasure she was experiencing. Every stroke of fingers felt like feathers on her skin, every lick and kiss felt like a warm embrace and every thrust of fingers felt like heaven's caressing.

She doesn't know what it was that she did with Neal, but what she did with Regina, _that_ was sex and making love all combined in one.

So she will be the first one to admit she is pretty much clueless about sex. She lets Regina lead and she follows. But she trusts her and that's more than enough. So she will let Regina have this 'tease and denial' thing which she honestly has no idea what is.

She also vows to herself to try and work out why is she so petrified of letting Regina's mouth near the apex of her thighs. And even if she doesn’t manage to successfully overcome her fears, the least she can do is talk to Regina about it, maybe she has some kind of an insight.

"There he is" Regina says excitedly, yanking Emma back to the real world.

"Who?" she asks while looking at Regina's face light up.

"Daniel" she says and then calls out his name again, louder this time.

A rather tall, handsome, young man turns to look at their general direction. When he spots Regina he smiles broadly.

He walks quickly towards the two of them and opens his arms. Regina jumps in, hugging him tightly. He kisses the top of her head with affection and Emma frowns at the contradictory emotions inside of her; happy that Regina has that type of a friend yet can't help but feeling slightly jealous at the level of intimacy and care.

"I missed you" she says as they break apart and slaps him lightly on the shoulder. He fakes hurt and then smiles at her.

"Me too" he chuckles and his voice is deep.

He has large brown eyes and brown hair, combed to the side. He wears a rather intricate business suit and overall looks pretty impressive. Not imposing though since his facial expression is warm and welcoming.

He turns to look at her, putting his hand out and she takes it.

"Daniel Colter"

"Emma Swan"

"Nice to meet you"

"You too"

"How do you know Regina?" he asks and she quickly looks at Regina for assistance.

"She's my girlfriend" Regina states simply and finally moves from Daniel's side to hers, hand laid possessively on her hip.

"Girlfriend?" Daniel double checks and he looks surprised.

"Mmm" she smirks at him and Emma feels as if they're having some kind of a conversation just by looking at each other.

"Liar" he accuses although he's already smiling. "So how did you two meet?" he asks casually. Just when Emma was starting to relax.

There's a stretched silence but eventually Regina jumps in.

"At work" she provides and it's awfully general and if Emma remembers correctly, Daniel is a reporter. Which means he won't be satisfied.

She is proven right quite quickly.

"She works at the firm?"

"She does" Regina says, her face devoid of any emotion that might be incriminating. Because it doesn't matter how you spin it, if you tell the complete truth Emma is Regina's employee and Regina is her boss's boss and it's unethical in more than one way.

"Where? On your department?" he's already sniffing around the touchy subject.

But Regina is a pro, she lifts her chin and states with confidence "She works for Kathryn"  

"Oh, nice" he says, understanding "I assume you keep it to yourself?"

"We are" Regina nod solemnly and Emma assumes he's aware of Regina's private manners.

"So, how's the new article going?" she asks and it seems to work. Daniel clasps his hands excitedly and talks on and on about his new project.

He doesn't go back to the subject of them working together and strays to more casual topics.

Emma's shyness stops her from being truly active in that conversation but it doesn't stop her from realizing that she quite likes Daniel. He creates an impression of a very successful and honest journalist who loves Regina with all of his heart. Overall, comparing to the sharks Regina potentially could have had as friends he is definitely a hit.

Over the course of the evening the music changes. The band that played calm jazzy tunes makes room for a different band and this one is blasting some upbeat music, mainly Latin dance songs that make you want to get up and dance.

They are sitting on one of the white couches with drinks in hand when Emma's light bulb lights up.

She sits straighter with a smile on her face.

"Emma?" Regina questions, feeling the change in her demeanor.

"Dance" she says simply and Regina frowns, no following.

"In Brooklyn heights you said you'd show me how the two of you dance together."

Realization downs on Regina and shakes her head "I said maybe"

Emma pouts like a three year old, batting her eyelashes quickly. "Please?" she tries and Regina huffs.

"You're such a child" she says but she gets up, pulling Daniel with her.

It's quite late and the balcony isn't that crowded any more. Daniel takes her hand and her entire posture changes immediately. It's somehow taller and more constricted but at the same time her hips sway hypnotically with each step.

Emma's mouth feels dry and they haven't even started dancing.

The song is just perfect, it's very fun yet not too fast and Regina says something to Daniel who nods before placing one of her hands on his shoulder.

And then it's not the Regina she knows anymore, this one is more open and less guarded. He spins her and brings her back to him and she smiles like never before, she truly lights up. That's when Emma recalls Regina telling her how much she loved this as a teen.

The music gets faster and Regina's legs are tantalizing, moving quickly from one spot to another and she turns again and again and again and Emma gets dizzy just from watching her.

It's so sexy, watching Regina so confident with her hips swaying rhythmically, almost winking at Emma.

When they're done there's quite a crowed watching them and they burst with applause. Emma knew Regina was good but she had no idea she was _that_ good and suddenly she wants to hoist Regina on a table and _show_ her how much she liked it.

They do another dance and when Regina asks her if she's ready to go home she agrees happily.

They bid their goodbyes to Daniel and Mal who swears them on a coffee date some time soon.

Emma squirms in the cab, from anticipation and desire as one. She had no idea Regina's dancing would turn her on like that and she just wants to run her hands all over her body. Also, she didn't forget about Regina's promise for tonight and her stomach flips at the thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to emphasize that I don't intend to portray Neal as anything but a boyfriend who's merely inexperienced. So if I offended anyone I apologize, that was not my intention.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: feels.

Emma crushed down on the sofa with an oomph. Immediately discarding her heels and moaning with relief at the feeling.

"Keep it up and there won't be much talking" Regina teased while walking over with two glasses of Scotch. She handed one to Emma who accepted it gratefully, wishing for the liquid courage to fulfill its duty she took a large sip.

Regina eased herself gracefully next to Emma, close enough to touch but with much provided distance for them to concentrate on talking rather than doing other things.

They set in the comfortable silence, sipping the Scotch slowly. Those moments kept amazing Emma; she was not too fond of awkward silences but somehow with Regina it never felt that way. Thoughtful maybe but never stilted.

"So," Regina finally broke the silence "how was it?" she inquired.

"It was good, I had fun" Emma answered truthfully. She felt like fish out of water, like she always does but that can't really be helped. So with that in mind, it was rather nice.

"Mmm" Regina nodded and "And my friends?"

"They're nice, I liked them" she smiled and Regina returned it. "A little intense but nice"

Regina chuckled.

"Yes, that's one way of putting it"

She looked more at ease after that say and Emma couldn't help but wonder how much her opinion mattered to Regina in regards to other people in her life. Quite terrifying, yet at the same time exhilarating, thought.

"So London huh?" Regina smirked and Emma's head whipped.

"You know?" she asked and then closed her eyes in embarrassment, of course she knows.

"I do"

Emma frowned "Were you the one to ask my assistance?"

"No," Regina assures quickly "that would have drawn unnecessary attention to the both of us." She reasons "I merely pointed out that Mary Margaret might not be the best fit and Kathryn connected the rest of the dots." Regina provides while smiling at Emma "she was quite impressed with your previous work"

Emma smiles broadly. Pride does that to you, it's always fun knowing that you're being appreciated; even if it's just a petty party planning.

The slip into another thoughtful silence in which Regina stares at her and she stares ahead.

"You wanted to talk about something?" Regina pushes gently and Emma heads bobs before she can stop it.

"Yes" she says and downs the rest of the Scotch, feeling it burn its way down her throat before settling in her stomach, sending heat waves.

She takes a moment to remind herself all of the other times in which she exposed something, all of the other times she felt petrified until she didn't anymore. Regina was nothing but accepting and loving and there is no reason for it to be any different now.

She opens her eyes, realizing that the more she thinks about it, the harder it will get for her to spit it out. So she goes for it.

"I'm scared" she says to the quite room and the silence is deafening.

Regina keeps quite, knowing that interrupting Emma would probably do more harm than good. She does though, lace their hands together, silently informing Emma that she is there and she is listening.

"I'm scared and also ashamed." She forces out and Regina's eyebrows shot up in wonder but she says nothing.

Once Emma says the first words it becomes easier and the rest flows out.

"I loved Neal." She lets in a breath "I'm not sure if it's love in the sheer romantic aspect of the word but I cared for him. He was good to me in a time no one else even bothered to look at me. He cared for me too and I'm one hundred percent sure he had no ill intentions for me what's or ever. It doesn't change the fact that sex wasn't exactly the greatest experience for me. It was rather painful, not the drunk foster dad belt beating kind of painful but still extremely unpleasant."

Emma watches Regina's eyes cloud. She continues.

"We didn't do much beyond the classic penetration act" she clears her throat. This is not easy for her to share but it's time Regina knows why Emma is the way that she is about certain physical aspects. "and I don't think I can say I enjoyed it"

She watches with admiration how Regina tries to control herself from getting up and killing someone with that knowledge. Her fists are tight, knuckles white and despite the terrible connotation it feels good to know that she cares that much.

"I was fine with what you did with your fingers" she scratches the back of her neck since it doesn't matter how many times you do it, talking about it will always embarrassing "delighted even. I don't remember having that amount of pleasure in my life before."

She smiles shyly and Regina's eyes are warm and her hands are twitching, eager to pull Emma close. But she respects her boundaries, she knows Emma needs the distance in order to open up. So she stays put.

"And I trust with all my heart that what you want for me is nothing but more pleasure. That doesn't change the fact that I have barriers, barriers I want you to help me get past."

Regina nods with a determined face. "Anything"

Emma swallows. Here we go.

"You are perfect." She says and Regina opens her mouth to argue but Emma shushes her with a wave of her hand "literally perfect. And I'm not. And that's okay" she rushes in before Regina takes over the conversation in arguing why she thinks that's not true.

"I have emotional and physical scars that I have accepted about myself. Still, it's hard for me to talk about some things around you. I'm working on it, slowly but steadily."

Regina sits still. All of her attention is on Emma, drinking every single piece of soul that Emma's willing to share with her. It feels good. Despite it being embarrassing and at times forced, once a sentence is out Emma sighs with relief. She doesn't regret telling her any of this, she realizes, and that sets her heart beating furiously.

"That's why I'm still not ready for you to go down there" she motions her head downward, her cheeks pink. "I'm not comfortable yet. Trust me, I want to but it something no one has ever done to me before, not even Neal. It feels selfish to me to ask that of someone" she whispers the last part and she can hear Regina gasp.

"I also don't see a reason why anyone would want to… but that's a whole other story" she dismisses quickly.

"Emma-" Regina tries but Emma sends a pleading look.

"I-" she swallows "I don't look like the girls on the internet look down there" she says guiltily while her gaze darts all over place, never landing on Regina.

"I don't want you to get disappointed, I don't want you to run…" she trails off and her eyes water up.

That's the abandoned kid in her, always trying to please to never demand too much, to be as valuable as she can be so they'll want to keep her. Or at least lack the reason not to.

Sex she understands, it's pleasurable to the other side as well, at least in hetero sex. She can understand why the other person would want to do it. But going down on Emma, putting up with whatever they find there simply for Emma's pleasure, that's a concept she's having trouble understanding. Everything to her is still give and take, she sees no reason for someone to just give without waiting for something in return; that's why that doesn’t make sense to her.

"Oh Emma" Regina charges forward with watery eyes and hugs her tightly. Emma breaks in her arms, sobbing. "You are enough, you are more than enough" she keeps mumbling in her ear "you are everything and more".

They stay there for a while, Emma collecting her shattered-self off the ground and Regina whispering all the right loving words in her ear.

Finally they break and Regina is still so close, hands on either side of Emma's face when she finally speaks.

"There's so much to say and fix about what you just said" she locks their eyes with so much intensity that Emma can't bring herself to look away.

"But let me start with this; I'm not perfect and the more you get to know me the more you'll see it. And that's okay because no one is perfect. You are not perfect as well and that's what I love about you"

Emma's heart flutters at the use of the word love. She knows it's nowhere near a declaration but it's one hell of a step in the right direction.

"I don't expect you to be perfect, not generally and not down there" her eyes cascade down.

"No one is. You are clueless." she determines and Emma frowns "I find it endearing in ways you can't imagine, knowing I'm the first one to show what the world has to offer you." she smiles at Emma and she returns a watery smile of her own.

"But let me tell you this; almost no woman looks like that. The things you see on porn aren't the real deal, a lot of them go under the knife to get that and if I'm being honest, I don't find it as beautiful as an authentic one, just like with fake boobs."

Emma sees what she means by in the boob statement, still she's having trouble believing the same about vaginas.

"It doesn't matter what's waiting for me down there, I'll adore it because it's you, just like I adore everything else about you. And me wanting to do those things to you are for me as much as they're for you. I want you Emma and I want you to be happy and content and I want all that's good in the world for you and I want to pleasure you because _I_ want to and not because I feel obligated by someone or something."

Emma bites her lip and tries to keep all the swirling emotions inside her at bay.

"And I'm so very proud of you for talking to me" her voice wavers, wakening another wave of emotions in Emma's body "because now we can work through this."

Emma nods, because that’s true, they can.

"I will not go down on you until you say otherwise but everything else you'd like me to have or see, I'd be grateful for."

"Okay" she whispers and Regina's eyebrows make a light movement upward.

"Okay?" she asks, excitement in her voice.

"Okay" Emma confirms "you can't go down on me, not yet" she adds "but maybe something else that doesn't involve your face _that_ up-close in there would work…" she trails off, her cheeks on fire.

"Alright" Regina nods and her gaze is unfocused as she thinks about other options.

"Would you-" she swallows "agree to take you pants and panties off?" she asks gently "it's okay if you don't…" she's quick to assure but Emma's already nodding.

"It's fine" she says and Regina's lips quirk up "but if I feel uncomfortable we stop immediately"

"Of course" Regina agrees immediately.

"Mmm" she makes a non-committal noise while pondering their options. Her eyes light up and she asks cautiously "how would you feel about a strap-on?"

Emma's brain drowns her with delicious images of Regina wearing nothing but an intricate strap and a dildo connected to it. She bites her lips but the frowns.

"I'm ready to try" she says slowly "but I'm afraid it might hurt me" she twists her hands nervously and looks up with a worried gaze.

"Because of…" Regina trails off and she nods.

Regina's eyes darken for a minute with what looks like anger or sadness, or maybe a combination of both. Soon it's gone.

"I understand, we can try. And if I'm being honest I don't think it will hurt as much as it used to, you weren't being prepared for it properly." She hints lightly but her look says it all.

"Yes, I understand what you mean."

They keep silent for a moment.

Suddenly Emma grabs Regina's neck and pulls her forward for a kiss. Regina returns it happily and when they separate, chests still heaving, she whispers "Thank you"

"Always my love" Regina responds fondly and a smile breaks on Emma's face. She almost says _the words_ but she stops herself at the last minute. This is not the way to say it, not here, not now.

"Let's try" she whispers seductively, feeling Regina's forehead, which still leans against hers, rise up.

"You mean…?"

"Yes"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And…. You hate me again, I know :\ I apologize, I know I promised smut but this conversation had to come first and it was extremely important to me as a writer but also generally as a woman. This conversation was too important to rush or cut short so you'll have to wait to the next chapter for the smut. I do hope you enjoyed it, I felt like I was writing about rather common issues…


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: this chapter is basically smut and nothing but smut. If you're not interested in reading it just skip this chapter, it holds no plot value.

"Mmm" Emma sighed into Regina's mouth when her roaming hands hit a sensitive spot just below breasts.

Regina broke the kiss and set up, smiling at Emma's disappointed groan. She grabbed her by the shirt and lifted her into a sitting position. She got off of Emma and tugged the hem of Emma's dress.

"Off" she said while getting up from the bed.

Emma writhed awkwardly until the she managed out of the dress.

She watched with colored cheeks at Regina's gazed swiping all over her lingerie clad form. She went with the white set Regina has bought her days prior; all lacy and racy and leaving almost nothing to imagination.

Her nipples went herd under the intense stare and Regina zeroed on them in a matter of seconds. She shook her head at the sight before motioning Emma to wait.

She entered her closet while Emma waited splayed on the bed. It took a minute or two and quite a few ruffling sounds and Regina was back in the room.

Emma gasped as her eyes racked over of barley covered body. Regina shed everything but a matching set of black laced thong and bra. Emma's eyes jumped all over, finding it difficult to focus on one specific area when there was so much skin available.

"You're so hot" Emma whispered and Regina smirked. She sauntered towards the bed and only then Emma noticed the mess of black straps in her hand.

She swallowed thickly, earning a quizzing look from Regina.

"Would you like me to put it back?" she asked, standing near the edge of the bed.

Emma pondered the thought for a moment before shaking her head.

"It's just," she gulped "I've never seen anything like that before" she cleared her throat "in real life I mean…"

Regina's coaxed eyebrow did nothing to ease the blush that crept all the way from her neck to her cheeks.

"Well we're not using it just yet" she informed "but I do want to explain something." She said while sitting down on the bed. She fiddled with the strap-on until she managed to untangle it. She lifted it up and turned it for Emma's curious eyes to see.

"This is a strap on, as you can see this is a harness, just like handyman's harness but slightly more complicated and for a different use" she winked and Emma's lips quirked into a small smile.

"This is an adjustable harness, strip wise but also dildo wise." She continued with the explanation, her tone almost as if she's conducting business "I chose a rather small one" she gestured to the skin-colored dildo connected to the harness "we can always go up from here but we'll start small."

Emma nodded and Regina's voice faltered for a moment, the act caught Emma's attention.

"Now I'll be using it and I don't like wearing any type of fabric while wearing it which means I won't wear panties" Regina provided and Emma's mind nearly exploded with the knowledge of what was about to happen; she will finally see Regina naked.

"I'm still not comfortable with the thought of being touched there" she locked eyes with Emma "so I ask you to please avoid from putting your hands in there unless I ask you too."

"Of course, I understand" Emma was quick to assure. No one understood boundaries better than her.

"I might rub myself against your leg or just touch myself, I haven't decided what lengths I'd go to. You can look but please don't touch."

"Absolutely" Emma quickly provided "and let me know if I cross any line"

Regina pursed her lips, seemingly still uncomfortable with level of exposure, but she nodded. Emma couldn't help but draw confidence from the fact that she isn't the only one taking large steps forward today.

With the conversation done Regina placed the strap-on on the bed-side stand and pushed Emma on her back.

"Now, let's have some fun" she smirked, voice dripping with sex.

Regina flushed their bodies together, the warmth of her body, the feel of her skin against Emma's already making her head swim.

First, there were kisses. Then hands started roaming, grabbing, tickling, ghosting over every surface available.

Emma let out a gasp when Regina moved to ravish her jaw line and then ear, down to her throat and ending with a bite at the junction of her shoulder. Emma's body responded to the delicious pain, soon soothed by Regina's tongue.

"Take that off" Regina mumbled into her skin while tugging the bra.

Emma arched her back and Regina's hand snaked between the bed and her back and smoothly unclasped the hook. Emma felt the immediate release of pressure and then the awakening sensation once Regina pulled it off and her nipples were met with the chilly air; hardening immediately. Regina took one in her mouth, lapping her tongue over it, applying just the right amount of pressure to make Emma go crazy.

"Harder" she rasped out and felt Regina's lips curve into a smile. Of course, she didn't obey, instead she released it with a pop and immediately blew cold air on the shiny, warm nipple.

"Ahh!" Emma writhed under the surprising, but not unwelcomed, sensation.

Then Regina dived back in and grazed her teeth over the bud, making Emma's eyes roll in their sockets. Her thighs squeezed shut, trying and failing miserably to get some kind of friction.

Instead, she reached around Regina's form to unclasp her bra. She heard the surprised intake of air and chuckled. Regina rewarded her with the same cold air trick, this time on the other nipple. Emma arched her back and racked her nails (the ones that she's constantly chopping these days) over Regina's back. That elicited a throaty moan that went straight to her pelvis.

"More" she breathed out and Regina lifted herself to discard her bra. Her fingers splayed next to Emma's hipbone, almost tickling, and her eyebrows arched in question.

"May I?" she looked down to the soaked lacy underwear and Emma nodded after a moment of hesitation.

Regina kissed her belly, making it tremor, and then pulled them all the way down to Emma's feet and off.

Emma closed her legs immediately but a second later Regina's smooth hands caressed her knees.

"Open those for me" she said so gently and so lovingly that Emma relented. Looking nervously at Regina's face for any revolted reaction. Once she opened them a little Regina's hands snaked in and placed on her inner thighs. Regina splayed her legs wide open, eyes zeroing on Emma's most private part.

Emma watched intently with a nervous tautness to her body as Regina's breath became heavier and her eyes darker.

"Emma" she rasped "you are so beautiful" she looked up and their gazes locked. Emma's lie detector immediately pinged truth and in a matter of seconds her entire body relaxed into the mattress.

She closed her eyes, gasping when she felt Regina's delicate fingers caressing her sex. She was already so turned on that she feared the minute Regina actually pressed her clit properly or insert a finger she will topple over the edge.

"So wet" Regina moaned while her fingers dived in and then disappeared, making Emma pout.

"I'm close" Emma panted and Regina looked up at her, surprised, amused even.

"We haven't even started yet" she teased with a loving smile and Emma shrugged. "Okay then, so we're going for a number of orgasms today" she stated and Emma gulped.

A finger was inside her in no time, pumping in and out slowly.

"Gorgeous" Regina mumbled, unable to tare herself from looking at Emma just yet.

"More" she cracked out.

"More what?" Regina smiled deviously.

"Fingers"

"As you wish" she complied and soon there were two fingers inside her, twisting and turning, stretching her inner walls.

"I wish you could see yourself right now" Regina said in between Emma's low moans "you have no idea how much I want to have my mouth on you"

And that was it. The thought of Regina's beautiful face in between her thighs, pleasuring her, was enough to push Emma over the edge.

Still deep in her orgasm Emma started feeling renewed bursts of pleasure shooting from her lower stomach and spreading all over her body.

She managed to open her eyes just enough to see Regina's hungry look, still sitting, watching her fingers disappear inside of Emma.

Regina kept pumping lazily, pushing Emma into another orgasm only this time the pleasure was bearable, shimmering low in the base of her stomach.   

Regina leaned in for a kiss and remained down, face inches away from Emma's, smirking slyly. Emma didn't get the chance to question herself why is that and a thumb ghosted over her clit, making her body jerk.

"Mmm not again" Emma pleaded, her tone somewhere between begging for it to stop and begging for it to continue.

"Yes again" Regina countered and the pressure on her clit grew making her quake, well on her way to another orgasm. And she hasn't even touched the strap-on yet, her brain chipped.

Her line of thought came to a halt when Regina added a third finger and then it was a matter of seconds before Emma's body arched off the mattress and tumbled into another mouth-dropping orgasm.

It was harder to regain her senses after that one. Her limps felt like jelly and her eyelids dropped close. She heard rustling.

"Regina?" she asked when she noticed that the warm weight on top of her was gone.

"Just getting rid of unnecessary fabric" she said and it took Emma a second to understand what she is insinuating. Her eyes opened to slits right when Regina placed herself back on top of Emma, her center seated on her right thigh.

She moaned at the slippery feel of Regina's arousal coating her thigh. Regina started moving back and forth, eyes closing at the feeling of friction.

Emma was too in awe to move or speak. So she remained still and tried to wrap her head around the fact that Regina's center is rubbing against thigh.

After a fair amount of time staring at Regina's boobs jiggle with her movements, she stole a quick glance down, gulping at the sight of a trimmed triangle of hair.

"Jesus Regina" she exclaimed and Regina merely moaned in return "you're too hot"

She chuckled and sped up her movements.

Emma set up, ignoring Regina's surprised look. She will not be a hump board, not if she can do something about it. She leaned forward and captured one nipple in her mouth, smiling at the groan it elicited from Regina.

"Don't stop" Regina ordered and her hands flew to her shoulders, stabilizing herself as she went faster and faster.

It didn't take long and Regina went rigid, her body stiffening as a wave of pleasure washed her body. Only then Emma grazed her teeth, managing to draw a high pitched shriek.

"Emma" Regina gasped out and the blonde chuckled "You minx" she said when she finally came down from her high, kissing Emma soundly.

The settled on the bed, limbs all tangled up.

"I need to catch my breath" Regina mumbled in an airy voice.

"Mmm" Emma agreed.

They lied there for what could be seconds or minutes, Emma would never know. Regina leaned over her to reach the strap-on. Emma, who thought her body was exhausted, found herself breathing heavily at the sight of Regina putting on and adjusting the strap-on.

"That should be illegal you know," she said and Regina looked up at her in question. Emma's eyes wrecked Regina's naked body fully for the first time and couldn't spot a single flaw. "You like this" she provided "you'll turn everyone gay, there will be no more kids produced and boom, end of humanity" she claimed and Regina tilted her head back and released a rolling laughter.

"My Emma" she shook her head "ready to have your world shaken?" she winked and Emma nodded and immediately opened her legs wide. This was, yet again, like any other thing Emma worried about in the past; worry dissipating into nothingness once she realizes that there is nothing to be ashamed of.

Regina bit her lips at sight "I don't know how we'll ever manage to leave the bedroom" she pointed out as if it was a bad thing.

"I don't see why we should" Emma smirked and started teasing herself. Apparently Regina was making her brave, confident, since she never in her life would have done it if not for her.

Regina's eyes zeroed on her hand, disappearing inside and coming out to rub her clit.

"Fuck Emma" Regina literally shivered at the mini show Emma has put for her. She seemed transfixed by the sight of Emma pleasuring herself. But as much as Emma enjoyed watching Regina standing stark naked with a strap-on on, she wanted her close, on top of her, inside of her.

So she bites her lip and says as seductively as she can.

"So, are you going to fuck me or not?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued… I had to cut it in half guys, sorry (there's some more smut in the next chapter as well). I hope you enjoyed it (I'm not very experienced with writing pure smut, I hope I did a decent job). To those of you who read my series 'Third time's a charm', the update for 'Clearing the air' will be up tomorrow :)


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is something I've been dreading doing but it has come to the point where I have to. Life, and rudely so, are getting in the way of my writing and I don't have time to actually sit down and write a chapter almost every day… I've also reached a point in this story where I feel like I'm obligated to write a chapter instead of wanting to (since the posting deadlines are back to back) and that is never a good thing. I don't want to treat this story like a task that I'm forced to do, because that hurts the content.
> 
> I'm not going to stop writing this story, I love it way too much, and it's also not the purpose of this note. I will, however space-up my updates a little. I'm not in a place to guarantee a finished, polished chapter every three days. I'm going to try and post every four days or so but please don't hold me to my words since things get in the way.
> 
> It's honestly for the story' best interest since I don't always like the chapters I've been putting out there lately and that kinda sucks… With that said, I will continue to post other things as well since I already have a near-finished story and another one in the making that will go up soon.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :)

 "You're going to be the death of me" Regina says as she crawls on all fours over to Emma and all Emma can think of is that it's probably the sexiest thing she's ever seen.

Regina molests her neck while her hands descend down her body.

In a blink of an eye there's one, two and then three fingers pumping slowly in and out of her.

"Mmm" Emma moans at the delicious stretch of her inner walls.

"Don't even think about it" Regina warns in a sultry voice.

"About what?" she asks, her focus already drifting apart from the sheer pleasure.

"Coming" she states simply and Emma's muscles twitch at the word "We just started"

She writhes underneath when Regina starts corkscrewing her fingers and hooking them, hitting an extra sensitive spot.

"It's not my fault" she exclaims between rapid breaths "You're too good at it. It's sorcery."

Regina's throaty chuckle bounces off the walls.

Suddenly Regina's fingers disappear and there's a rather cold object rubbing against her heated center. She can't stop her body from stiffening.

"Relax" Regina whispers in her ear "It's not going to hurt. It's the same size, if not smaller than my fingers."

Emma nods and tries to relax her body. It doesn't work.

"Do you want me to stop?" Regina asks and she shakes her head.

"Do it"

She shuts her eyes, anticipating the sharp pain. But instead the dildo slides right in, filling her in a whole new way. Her eyes open with wonder and she gasps.

"Painful?" Regina asks, still, above her.

"No, good" she says and Regina smiles.

She starts moving her hips and Emma stares, tantalized, at the mesmerizing sight of their hips connecting. She's already well on her way to another orgasm when Regina adds stimulation on her clit.

"Fuck" she calls out when her body arches of the bed, flushing against Regina's.

They crush, exhausted, into the soft bed.

"That was quick" Regina states, kissing Emma's head.

"Mmm" Emma mumbles with close eyes "tired"

Regina chuckles.

"I bet you are" she says lovingly, her hand rubbing soothing circles on Emma's back.

It's not long before they both drift to sleep.

* * *

 

 

They have a lazy Saturday at Regina's house.

Breakfast on the balcony that soon would freezing to sit in once winter comes. Wandering around the house, Emma finds a piano hidden in the study. Needless to say that the minute she finds out about Regina's past as a piano player she chases her around the house whining like the little girl that she sometime is for her to play. After countless No's Emma pulls out the puppy pout. Regina huffs and rolls her eyes but eventually she gives up and they both go to the study.

Regina rants endlessly about 'forgetting how to play' and 'I haven't practiced in years'. Once she starts saying the piano is also not tuned' Emma has enough. She shushes her with the promise of endless admiration since she is, in fact, nothing close to a musical protégé.

"I honestly can't spot an off-key from a mile away' she reason 'just do it already'

Regina is a lot of talk and for someone who claims to forget everything she hits every note when she plays Canon in D major. Emma is nothing short of smitten so Regina, with a satisfied smile moves on to play Turkish March. Or as Regina elegantly and professionally puts it, 'Rondo Alla Turca'.

"You're so good" Emma swoons around her as she plays and Regina shakes her head while her fingers ghost over the keyboards with endless grace and speed.

"I wish I could play like that" she slumps a little, pissed at the system for not providing those type of activities. She is not sure she'd have actually taken them but there is no way of knowing for sure. The only thing she does know for sure is that she was never given the opportunity.

"Oh Emma" Regina says, noticing her shift in mood.

"I'm fine, I'm fine" she grumbles.

* * *

 

"No" she whines when Regina sits next to her on the sofa with her laptop.

"I have to work" Regina says and fishes her reading glasses out of their case.

Emma watches her place the glasses on while biting her lower lip.

"Now how do you expect me to not be all over you with those glasses? Seriously though."

"Do you like those?" Regina arches an eyebrow and her eyes shine with mirth.

"Like?" she snorts "This is the sexiest you've ever looked." She states and folds her hands.

Regina glances at her sweatshirt clad form and looks up with a doubtful look "This?" she gestures with her head downward "This is the sexiest I've looked?" she asks and Emma has a feeling that her next answer should be well thought through.

"Err" she stalls and Regina smirks.

"That's what I thought"

Emma leans in for a kiss she immediately deepens.

"Emma" she says in between smooches "I need to work" but Emma is persistent and she continues to kiss Regina, pushing her on her back.

The phone rings and there's a hand on her chest pushing her away.

"Man" she huffs when Regina gets up to get her phone.

"Daniel" she greets happily "How are you?"

She can't hear what he's saying but as he talks Regina's face shift from carefree to frowning.

"She what?!" she exclaims angrily and leaves the room, phone cradled between her ear and shoulder, before Emma even gets the change to ask what's wrong.

The call takes a while and she's curious, but Emma decides that giving Regina her privacy is the best course of action. So she stays in the living room, staring at one of the hanged pictures.

Her phone buzzes and she picks it up.

"Hello?"

"Where the fuck are you?" Ruby's voice fills her ear, and she doesn't sound happy.

"I- why?" she frowns.

"Look at the clock lady. When they say blondes are dumb I stand up for you, you know…"

Emma looks at the wall and winces.

"Oh shit, I forgot. I'm so sorry"

"It wasn't even for me, it was for you, we're going shopping for you!" she accuses and she's one hundred percent right.

"I know, I know. I'll leave Regina's place now, it shouldn't take long."

There's a stretched silence but eventually Ruby relents.

"Fine. But just so you know, I don't care how hot your girlfriend is and how good she fucks you, you don't bail on a friend."

"You're right, again, I'm sorry and I'm heading over now" she says while picking up her degraded items off the floor.

"Wait" she halts in the midst of sticking her foot in the boot "How do you know that it's her fucking me, maybe I fuck her?" she challenges and all she hears in return is a rolling laughter.

"Yeah right" Ruby snorts "She would never let you top, I know it and I only met her like once."

"Well you are wrong" Emma says in defiance.

"She lets you top her?" Ruby asks and her tone is nothing but wonder and skepticism combined.

"Err… Well not so far but-"

"Oh come on, you had me hoping for a minute." Ruby dismisses. "I knew she wasn't letting you"

"Hey!" she protests but Ruby apparently doesn't care.

"I don't have time for this stupid argument, just head over before I give up and leave and you'll stay dress-less for Mary Margaret's wedding."

"Fine" she relents.

"Bye" Ruby says and hangs up.

She searches for Regina, wandering around the first floor. When she can't find her she goes upstairs. Following the muffled noises she reaches her study and knocks on the door.

The talking stops.

"Yes?" Regina calls and she opens the door to a nick, shoving her head into the room.

"Are you alright?" she frowns upon seeing Regina.

She is mixture of all that is evil; she looks pissed, frustrated, worried and unapproachable all at the same time. And that's why Emma isn't surprised when Regina's answer is a dismissive hand motion.

"I'm fine" she says and her eyes cast down to Emma's boot-clad feet. "Are you going?"

"Err…" she stalls, examining Regina's stiffened posture "Would you like me to stay?" she asks gently. There's a rainbow of thousands emotions, all a millisecond long, before a blank expression settles.

"No, that's quite alright actually since I have things to do" she smiles tightly and Emma doesn't buy it for a second. But, again, it's all about trust, patience and trust. Regina will come to her when she's ready.

"Okay then" she nods "I'm heading off. Call if you need anything kay?"

Regina's lips quirk up into a small smile, genuine this once.

"Absolutely" she says and walks towards Emma "Have fun and don't get in trouble" she says and places the phone's speaker against her shoulder when she leans in for a kiss.

"I will"

* * *

 

"Sure took you long enough" Ruby says with a mouth full of ice cream.

"I hurried" she says with a judging face "Manners" she chastises and Ruby snorts.

"I'm losing you to the posh side, Regina is converting you" she accuses and Emma rolls her eyes and takes a seat next to Ruby.

"So what about you? Do you have a dress?" she asks in a lack of a better topic.

"Mmm" Ruby nods and swallows a mouthful of chocolate ice cream mixed with what could only look like the gum flavor. Gross. Only Ruby would go for that god-awful industrial taste.

"I do. I have the dress from when my cousin got married. It's fancy enough for a wedding and barely used. Also," she lifts up a finger "it's a totally different circle of people so I'm aloud to recycle." She finishes with a winning smile and Emma chuckles.

They remain quite while Emma waits for Ruby to finish.

"I don't think I can drop the shifts at the restaurant" she says into the shared space.

"Why?"

"I-" she sighs and scratches the back of her neck "Things are tight. Money wise." she provides and it's alarmingly liberating sharing that information with someone. Since sharing with Regina would only cause more problems and sharing with Mary Margaret will sure be followed with a 'help Emma' campaign, she's left with no one. Ruby cares, but she also understands, and that makes all the difference.

How can she talk about financial problems with someone who can bathe in money every day for the rest of her life and still won't run out of it? At best, Regina will fail to understand the problem and simply pity her. But it can also be a lot worse, Regina can actually try and give Emma money or offer her things and generally treat her like charity case. Her intentions will be good, Emma has no doubt, but it won't change the fact that if something like this happens Emma wouldn't know how to pick herself and her fragile pride off the ground.

You don't take charity. It's a very clear rule in Boston. Charity takers are weak, and weak kids get beat up at school and get their food stolen from them. Why? Because they can always just beg for more. This way of life has got her so far hasn't it? So it must be working.

"What changed?" Ruby asks while whipping her sticky fingers with a napkin.

"The Boston trip expenses, also bills and rent deposit that I forgot to include in the equation." She elaborates and Ruby nods sympathetically "I buy one good dress, one that I legitimately need since it's for a friend's wedding, and my wallet shrinks significantly. I have other things to think about. Regina can't pay every single time we go out, I won't have that. I want to take her places too and buy her things and there are anniversaries and birthdays and transportation to and from Regina and I haven't even mentioned the classes' cost." She sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose. "It's just going to have to wait" she says in defeat.

"For what? What can possibly change?" Ruby inquires.

"End of the year bonuses, a promotion, a raise, something."

Ruby pats her back encourage.

"It's going to be okay, it'll get better" she assures her and it's comforting to hear, despite it having no guarantee what's or ever behind it.

"Yeah"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nice to see Emma thinking ahead but unfortunate seeing her struggle with something that she feels like she can't bring up to Regina. Though I can honestly say I would do exactly the same if I was her. I will hint though, that sooner or later this struggle will come out. And for those of you who wonder about the call, things are about to get a whole lot messier.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we are, with an update :P
> 
> I want to thank all of you who supported me and made me feel good despite toning down my update frequency. Also, thank you for complimenting me and my story and making me feel loved and appreciated! Ugh, the smiles you have caused… ;)
> 
> Warning: The end of this chapter :\

 

She knocks on the door, opening it shortly after only to come to a halt. Regina sits on the chair, her form slouched in an uncharacteristic manner, and her hand is pinching the bridge of her nose. She lifts her head up, probably to chastise whoever it is who dared interrupting her but her annoyed expression and taut body relax upon seeing Emma.

"Emma" she sighs and leans back in her chair. "What can I do for you?"

"Would you like me to come back later? Reschedule maybe?" she asks, still planted in her place.

"Reschedule?" Regina frowns, seemingly unaware or has forgotten about their arrangement.

"Our meeting…?" Emma provides, suddenly unsure.

"Oh" Regina shakes her head at her own stupidity "Sure, come on in." she rises from her chair and moves to the set of arm chairs at the left corner of the office.

Frowning at the unusual choice Emma closes the door and follows her to the far side of the office.

"Is everything alright?" she asks once she finally gets to actually look at Regina. She looks tired and worried and annoyed and sad all at the same time and it makes Emma feel like a failure, not knowing what is happening.

"It could be better" Regina sighs and runs a head through her coiffed hair.

They sit in an uncomfortable silence. Emma doesn’t know how to respond to that answer; if Regina said everything was fine she could counter that, make Regina confess and finally tell her what wrong. If Regina told her the problem in the first place she could move past the figuring out part and offer support or advice. Or something. But this answer is right there in the middle, somewhere between admitting that something is wrong and giving no real information for Emma to work with.

"You didn't call" Regina says out of the blue, effectively yanking Emma out of the ongoing debate in her head.

"I'm sorry?"

"Call, you didn’t call me on Saturday" she says "or Sunday for that matter" she adds right after.

"I-" Emma scratches the back of her head "That was me trying to give you space" she smiles tightly and Regina's lips quirk up, even if just a little.

"Well, in that case, thank you" she breathes out.

"Always" Emma mumbles, suddenly uncomfortable with the intimacy level they’ve reached in what practically counts as out in the open. There's a thin glass door separating them from literally everyone they know.

"So…" she drawls, picking her notepad up and placing it comfortably on her lap "Points and deadlines for our upcoming event?" she suggests with a cheeky smile.

"Right" Regina clasps her hands and they drift into business talk.

* * *

 

"Something is bothering her" Emma says into her cup before going in for a sip. She winces when the steaming liquid burns her tongue. "Fuck!" she mumbles, already noting the tingly feeling that follows.

Ruby chuckles from the other side of the counter "What?" she asks and Emma shrugs.

"She isn't telling." She states bitterly while looking suspiciously at her coffee. Traitor. "And I don't want to push her."

"Yeah, I get that" Ruby hums in agreement while swiping the counter top with a wet towel, effectively removing leftover crumbles from previous patrons.

"What do I do?" she asks and it's moments like this that she is thankful for Ruby finding out about them. Someone to consult with on relationship is awfully underrated these days.

"You give her space, let her come to you" Ruby instructs, her face serious for once.

"And what if she doesn't?" she asks "Talk to me, that is?"

She watches Ruby frown before lifting her finger in victory when the light bulb over her head lights up "You go to her and tell her that you're still giving her space but you'd really wish she talked to you. You make her see that you respect her boundaries and in the end it's her choice to make but at the same time you make it clear that you care about her and you want to know what she's going through and support her." She finishes with a smug smile and Emma lets her have it.

"How are you so good at this?" she asks incuriously since Ruby's easy-going spirit and choice of clothes can be misleading.

"Me and Peter" she shrugs "two and half years and going strong. Someone has to do all the hard work" she winks at Emma earning a whistle in return.

"Two and half years? Is it really been that long?"

"Mmm" Ruby hums "Also, almost a year for our friendship as well" she smiles broadly and Emma returns it.

"Wow, I haven't thought about it but you're right!"

Is it really been a year since she came to New York? It seems extremely long and yet awfully short at the same time. Boston seems so far away, her life now so different that it almost fades in the background as dream more than history. But thinking about Regina and Ruby and her shoebox and place of work, she is surprised to find that it feels like mere weeks instead of full twelve months.

"That's crazy" she says and Ruby has enough time to agree with her before Granny comes out, breathing fire and shooting daggers and points at a new patron who apparently has been waiting for service for a while. Ruby doesn't put up a fight and quickly moves out of harm's way and to the awaiting costumer.

* * *

 

"So what did she say she wanted?" Emma frowns over the lists. She can feel the headache making its way towards her and she winces when a specifically sharp pain attacks right behind her right eye.

"She said no strippers but she does want the whole partying thing so what I suggest is female strippers instead." Ruby shouts from her place on the couch.

"Ruby!" Emma chastises from her kitchen table, desperate to join Ruby with a bottle of beer and watch the Bulls' game instead. But she, stupidly so, agreed to plan that unnecessary bachelorette party and now she's paying for it.

"What?" Ruby pokes an innocent face from behind the headrest "Why not? First of all, female strippers are a whole different story since we're all ladies and most of them are probably straight. Also, pretty sure David won't mind that since it's one hell of an idea to put in his spank bank. Then we can go to a party or someone's house and play drunken games and dance and laugh and talk about penises until everyone passes out." She finishes with a nod "sounds like a great party to me" she concludes and grabs her cellphone.

Emma frowns at the amount of questions flowing through her system at that statement. Deeming comprehension unimportant at the moment she opts on taking that entire plan off the table first.

"Well I think it's a very bad id- what are you doing?" Emma asks when Ruby places the phone next to her ear. "Ruby?"

"Mary Margaret" she greets happily and Emma bangs her head on the table.

"Please don’t" she mumbles to herself but Ruby is already half way into charmingly selling the idea to poor Mary Margret who resembles in that case to the unpopular kids; she would do anything if the cool girls said she should.

* * *

 

"I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. Say that again" Regina turns her full attention to Emma. She looks annoyed.

"Err" Emma fidgets under her hard gaze "The bachelorette party is going to be at a stripper club."

"Male strippers club?" she asks, folding her hands defiantly. Emma is sure her whole jealous side would be hilarious to a side-spectator, but she's in the line of fire.

"No…" she lets out slowly , trying to pull her charming smile on. Regina doesn’t look smitten. Shit. "Female strippers" she eventually says and it looks like it's the wrong answers.

"Absolutely not" Regina says and starts pacing around the living room. "You're not going" she determines.

"Well it's not like I have a choice. I'm her maid of honor." She brings up the only excuse she has. It's not like she is thrilled to go there but it's what Mary Margaret wants, after strong manipulation but that's a whole other story. And at the end of the day, it's her wedding and her choice. Apparently Regina doesn't think the same.

"I don't like the idea of strippers rubbing on you" she says bitterly. Emma hides a smile at that adorable admission. It's nice to know that someone's protective of her.

"Then supervise" she states simply.

"Excuse me?" Regina frowns and Emma provides.

"You're invited."

* * *

 

Emma has been staring at Regina the entire day. She's been pacing restlessly for the last hour, talking to someone on her personal cell. At some point she gives up walking and sending threating looks to anyone who shows intention on approaching her office and leans against her desk instead. She looks defeated and it's eating Emma on the inside. She feels useless and it's driving her crazy, not being able to be there for Regina.

Then Daniel shows up, so intent on reaching Regina that he completely misses Emma. He closes the door and they talk animatedly to each other. Regina looks pissed. It's not at him though, Emma realizes, since the minute he places a comforting hand on her back she sags against him.

Emma runs every possible scenario in her head to what could have happened. It seems personal rather than professional so anything regarding work is quickly discarded off that list. Maybe it's her mother, she thinks, but that doesn't make any sense since Regina already shared it with her, so why keep a development a secret when Emma already knows about the whole ordeal. Still, she keeps it in mind. Then she thinks other family business, her father or her sister. But she has no way of finding that one out so she flies it in her head for later. Maybe something regarding her health? But Emma would've noticed if something changed, she's with Regina all the time. Something about Daniel? Though it seems more like he's supporting her rather than the other way around.

The only possibility Emma's left with is that it has to do with her. Why else would Regina turn to Daniel for help and support and leave her completely out of the loop? Emma tries to fight her brain from going to that direction but the seed is planted. What if there's something wrong with Emma? With them?

She's at awe at the feeling of nausea that overcomes her in response to that thought. She can't lose Regina, not again. She's in too deep. She…

She loves her, for Christ's sake.

That admission, even in her head send her heart palpitating. She doesn't get the chance to dwell on it when her stationary phone rings and she's called to HR to fill last minute information for her visa granting process.

* * *

 

After nursing her third beer that night she impulsively picks up the phone, slightly braver thanks to alcohol streaming in her veins, and calls Regina.

The phone rings and rings but eventually Regina picks up.

"Emma?" she says and she sounds slightly out of breath. Emma frowns.

"Is this a bad time?"

The line is silent for a stretched moment.

"Err…" Regina drawls. She sounds distracted, like Emma would if you called her while she watches TV. "I'm sorry" she snaps back to reality "I- can I call you another time? I'm- I need to take care of something."

Emma's heart sinks lower than physically possible. Still, she picks herself up to end the call.

"Sure," she says as neutrally as she can master "call me" and the line goes dead.

In a second her eyes water up and she hits the couch with so much pent up frustration it almost hurts, despite the soft surface.

"Fuck" she calls into the empty room, actively trying to prevent the sob that is sitting in the base of her throat from consuming her.

Something is wrong, she is sure of it. Regina is slipping out of her grasp and she doesn't know how to change it.

A tear slips out, falling on her cheek, followed by another one and another one. She wipes them off angrily.

She chugs the rest of the beer and reluctantly goes for another, due to the lack of alcohol in her house since that time she ended up on the floor in her own vomit.

She reaches for her phone again and with shaking finger texts Regina.

_Swan- Call me when you can_

Regina doesn't respond to the text. She doesn't call her that night either.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Painful, I know :\ All I can say is that misunderstandings happen and that things will be clearer in the next chapter… Already working on the next one so I hope the gap between this update to the next chapter won't be as long…


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking my time with this one, honestly, I wanted it to be up a lot earlier but I had to drag myself out of a Trump-induced depression. Really, I cannot believe it actually happened.
> 
> But, I will not drag us into a political discussion and instead I'll provide a short distraction:

_You've got this Swan._

She sits in her chair and waits. Her leg goes back to nervously jiggling no matter how many times she stops it.

It has been two days since that night and Emma is a nervous wreck. Regina wasn't here yesterday, a full day dedicated to meetings across town. How does she know that? She hacked into Regina's schedule when Mary Margaret was out for lunch. A new low.

That's how she knows that now, and for the next hour and a half to be exact, her schedule is appointment-free. That unless something changed in the past day and she doubts it did.

Regina should be back from a meeting down at the labs any minute now and then they can talk, fix whatever it is that broken, so they can move past it. She will not go down without a fight, especially considering the fact that everything seemed fine right up until the moment it suddenly didn't.

She feels like those husbands that get in trouble but are oblivious to what it is that they did wrong. It doesn’t stop them, however, from paying for it. Whether it is a sore back from sleeping on the couch or swollen knees from begging their wives to forgive them. Emma is not even given that chance. For some reason, Regina is avoiding her and that makes realizing what it is that went wrong or trying to fix it a lot harder. On the verge of impossible really.

She perks up at the sound of heels on the marble floor, slouching when it turns to be a false alarm.

It's a couple of minutes later when Regina comes to view, her stride fast and goal oriented as she marches towards her office without sparing a glance Emma's way.

Emma almost winces at that but she pushes through and gets up, reaching Regina right before she has the chance to disappear behind the door.

"Regina" she calls and the brunette turns to look at her, mildly surprised.

"Emma" she acknowledges, to the untrained eye she looks business as usual. But Emma recognizes the stress signs all too well; her strained neck, stiff posture and restless eyes, jumping from one point to another yet never resting on Emma.

"Can we talk?" she asks tentatively.

"I'm busy" Regina says and Emma tries not to show her hurt.

"You're free now, I checked." She tries again and this time their eyes lock. Regina looks apologetic. Emma doesn't know if she's sorry about the whole ordeal or just about being caught lying.

"Well I-" she clears her throat "I can't now. How about I call you-"

"That's what you said last week" Emma cuts in, this time failing to hide the hurt and anger in her tone "and three days ago and two days ago." She adds and her eyes swell with tears despite her intentions not to. Suddenly Regina's eyes are on nothing but her.

"Emma?" she asks gently, almost as if _actually_ seeing her only now.

"Fuck" Emma curses herself for being so goddamn weak. She doesn't wait for Regina's response. Instead she turns on her heels and charges out of the room. She takes the elevator down to the first floor, desperate for some air and maybe a blessed clarity of mind. Did she just screw it all up? But what else could she have done, said, in front of everyone?

The minute she steps out of the elevator and into the lobby, the reception bars on her phone reappear and it starts ringing. She swallows at the name of Regina on the screen.

"Hello?" she answers, her voice guarded.

"Emma" Regina sounds relieved and worried all at once "Where are you?"

"Outside" she says as she steps into the foyer on her way outside.

"I'm coming" Regina states and hangs before Emma can even reply.

She sits not too far from the building entrance so Regina can easily locate her. It's only her on that bench, staring at the large fountain at the entrance. It's a little windy today and she can't help but thinking it's less than just a random gust of wind and more like the fall making its way. It's quite early for fall, but maybe just the first signs of its coming.

She likes the winter, or appreciates it at least. There's no other choice honestly for someone from Boston. It's always chilly if not freezing and you learn to accept, admire even, she sharp needles of the wind on your face, the awaking effect of the cold air in your lungs, the clarity and purity of the snow that often covers the city.

New York is beautiful but it's not Boston. Boston with her colorful leafs in the fall and endless white horizon in the winter. Boston with its own pace, slow and unique; like Europe some people say. Not that she would know. She misses it sometimes, when she's pushed over by someone who rushes to work. It has taken her a while to notice that the only people that actually _see_ this city are outsiders. Whether it's tourists or new residents, but never the locals who treat the streets, the subway, the park as means to an end, as a way to and back from work and not as a home.

She wonders if this city will keep its appeal over time or if Emma will feel smothered at some point.

It's way too early to think about this kind of future with Regina, but she can't help but wonder if the brunette would ever want to settle down in a less urban place. Or if she would ever want to settle down at all. She may not want kids or marriage and hell, Emma's way too young to even think about those things. She doesn't want all of that now but in the future, in the future she sees the two of them together, no matter the route.

In perfect synchronization with her inner monologue Regina steps out of the building. It takes her a minute but she spots Emma and marches towards her, looking all motherly-like worried.

Emma isn't tearing up anymore. There's this weird serenity mixed with nostology that settled instead. It doesn't change the fact that she dreads and craves this conversation with Regina, tears or no tears.

"Emma" Regina takes a sit, a little too close for what considers appropriate for work colleagues, and looks at her. "Are you okay?" she asks and there's nothing but worry and care in her voice.

Emma takes a deep breath and lets it out in a long sigh.

"Don't give up on me" she says eventually. Regina looks confused.

"I- what?" she stutters.

"Me, us. I don't know if I did something wrong or if you're just having second thoughts or doubts but please talk to me." She pleads "I can't fix the problems if you don't talk to me. I don't want to throw us away." She casts her eyes down, noting at the corner of her eye that Regina is leaning forward, closer to her.

"Emma" she breathes out "what did you think was happening?" she asks and Emma shrugs.

Not looking up she blurts out "You're breaking up with me" she states but there's doubt in the way she puts it, almost turning it to a question.

"No, no, no, no" Regina shakes her head, laughing humorlessly "You silly girl. Why would I break up with you?" she asks and Emma looks up, frowning.

"You're not?"

"Of course not" they lock eyes and Regina seems sincere enough for Emma to believe "what made you even think that?"

"I-" she searches for the right words "You looked all distant and didn't return my calls and when I tried to reach out you stepped even further away. I just thought-" she swallows "I thought I did something wrong and you're-, I don't know what I was thinking." She slumps against the backrest and runs a hand through her hair.

"I'm so sorry, my head was somewhere else, I didn't even stop to think on how it looked from your end." Regina seems utterly sorry. Sorry and angry with herself. Emma's not nearly past that short-circuit but she's also set on staying true to her words; being there for Regina, supporting her. There will time for reprimanding, later.

"So, what's wrong?" Emma pushes. Knowing the problem isn't between them takes some weight off her heart but she still wants to know what it is that _is_ wrong.

"Ugh" Regina shakes her head in annoyance "Remember the party at Mal's?" she waits for Emma's nod of approval before moving on with her story. "You talked to a girl while I was away."

"Yeah" Emma frowns, searching for the name in her memory "Lauren I think was her name" she provides after a moment.

"That's right," Regina approves "Her name is Lauren Castillo. Of course, I didn't know who she was since I've never seen her before but unfortunately I do know who she is now." Her lips curl into a sneer.

"Who?"

"She's a reporter, a dirty reporter" Regina provides and Emma can already smell the trouble "She likes controversies and scoops, favorably personal scoops, those kind of scoops that pull the carpet from under people's feet and provide her with short lived yet extremely shiny glory. And her specialty?" Regina stops for the affect "Outing famous people and exposing their personal lives."

Emma pulls a disgusted face at that discovery. Then, when she realizes that she was the one talking to her she bobs her head in shame.

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry" she apologizes and Regina squeezes her arm in an attempt to comfort.

"It's okay, you didn't know. Our luck is that A. you didn't confirm anything to her, which left her with non-based suspicion and nothing more. B. that you insisted on me dancing with Daniel which could have been perceived as a couple dancing and throw her a little of the rail."

"So you're safe?" she asks with hoping eyes. Carrying Regina's outing on her back is not something she's keen on experiencing.

Regina chews her lower lip in contemplation.

"Not exactly. You see, this Lauren suspects my sexuality for quite some time now due to my lack of male partners at events; that inevitably draws unwanted attention due to the famous and powerful status of my family. Fortunately, my previous encounters, let's call it that" Regina stops to smile at Emma's not-so-well-hidden jealous look. Looks like Regina isn't the only problematic person on that aspect. "Were difficult to pin down since I weren't actually dating those women." It's Emma's turn to smirk and puff her chest in pride. Regina looks at her for a moment, amused, and continues with her explanation.

"So, as you can probably imagine, she was left with nothing but a hunch for years. Luckily for us, she was confused enough about seeing both you and Daniel at the party that she tried to do some digging around to prospect of my sexuality. Daniel, with his unending amount of connections found that out pretty quickly and notified me of the crisis in the making. We've been trying to handle it since Saturday afternoon." She concludes.

"And?"

Regina sighs "I honestly don't know. Daniel is doing everything in his ability to get her off that topic but there's no real guaranty that he can manage that. Plus, him going at it too hard might push her even further into investigating it. Overall, we're in the dark and it's an extremely sensitive and unpredictable situation."

Emma wants to hug Regina, overwhelmed by the will to shield her from the world. She realizes now that this issue is personal and professional altogether and can influence Regina's life greatly. There's the whole her family's unawareness thing combined with her personal and professional image and her relationship with Emma as her worker. There are thousand things that can go wrong if that situation is mishandled.

"Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you shut me out like that? It's my life too."

She tries to ask that as gently and as un-judging as she possibly can but it still biting at the edges and Regina flinches. Emma regrets asking immediately. "I'm sorry I shouldn’t have…-"

"No you're right" Regina stops her "I don't know why. I guess I didn't want you in this mess, at least not further in it. I tried to handle it by myself, completely ignoring everything I've been preaching you since we started dating. I'm sorry" she says sincerely and holds Emma's hand the shortest moment before releasing it altogether "And I will keep you informed from now on. I won't shut you out, I promise."

Emma nods and sends what she hopes is a supportive smile. Regina's lips quirk up and drop seconds later, leaving her looking tired and defeated all over again.

"One way or the other, I can't take the risk. I need to start thinking about telling people about me, about us."

Emma nods and pictures of Zelena and Regina's parents pop into her mind, followed by a judging looking Kathryn and a disappointed Mary Margaret. Shit.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, obviously Emma's not happy about the obvious miscommunication but honestly there are bigger problems to worry about at the moment. Bet you didn't see this one coming ;)


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for taking so long to update this story. The next couple of chapters are very important so I have to make sure I write them properly. I can't really make it up to you but in attempt to do so I've decided to post on of my awaiting story- it's called Legendary maneuvers and it will be updated frequently :)
> 
> Now as for this chapter, the one small smutty scene turned to an important monster that has taken over most of the chapter. Therefore,
> 
> Warning: Sexy times.

 

Everything, and she means _everything_ is put to a halt.

Whether it's Mary Margaret's wedding, the bachelorette party, dealing with Regina's jealousy streak regarding the concept of that party or trying to distract Ruby from planning something obnoxious for her birthday. Oh, and let's not forget dealing with that reporter while seriously considering their next move as a couple.

This entire beautiful headache has to wait, wait for Emma and Regina to get back from London.

Because, yes, in the midst of trying to juggle so many things at the same time they also have to go to London and plan a huge important event. And of course, why not add some more problems to their already piling up list of difficulties; it's where Cora Mills lives, Regina's mother, whom she's petrified of  and the one Regina expressed most concern about regarding the exposure of her sexuality and their relationship. Great.

Emma feels the pressure and she's sure it isn't lost on Regina.

So imagine her surprise when there's a knock on the door the night before their flight.

Emma glances at the clock, frowning at the hour. Who could it be at this time?

"Regina?" Emma inquires, surprised to find Regina at her door step.

She charges forward and kisses Emma. Passionately.

"'Gina" she asks, voice muffled, in between kisses.

"Mmm?" Regina hums in response, her mouth attacking Emma's creamy neck.

"What are you-" she stops mid-sentence. A gasp rips through her throat when Regina's hands secure Emma's hips and a leg snakes between hers.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" she asks, her voice sultry and seductive and Emma's knees buckle.

"Err" Emma stalls and it takes her a good couple of minutes to realize that Regina is backing her, slowly but surely, towards the bed.

"I brought a little friend" Regina's eyebrows go up suggestively and Emma feels the lump forming in her throat.

"As in…" she trails off and Regina bites her lip and nods.

"Fuck" Emma breathes out and then she's pushed on the bed.

The usually patient Regina is out the window, instead replaced by a hungry Regina. She teases Emma with her hands, just enough to drive her crazy and then she enters her. Emma's nerve endings burn at the pleasurable sensations Regina is currently overloading her with, one thrust after the other.

When Emma tumbles over the edge, tingly and shaky, Regina helps her to turn and places her on all fours. She takes her from behind, hand snaking to tease her nipples while the other one stables her as she thrusts into her, again and again. When the hand teasing her breasts wanders down, to Emma's already oh so close center the blonde explodes again, legs shaking and body trembling as Regina won't let her come down from her high.

"Jesus Regina" Emma mumbles exhaustingly when she almost falls over after a specifically hard thrust.

She seems to sense that Emma's muscles are failing to hold her so she leans forward and grabs the two pillows placed at the end of the bed and places them on top of the other. She lowers Emma's pelvis onto it and renews her thrusting, a little slower this once.

"Again?" what starts as a whine turns to a breathy question mid word when a specifically delcious, toe curling, wave of pleasure hits her body. "Oh"!" she gasps and Regina hums.

"Mmm" she confirms, chuckling, while her mouth ghost over Emma's upper back sucking and licking and gently biting.

Something about this positions, and perhaps Emma's heightened state, makes everything sharper. She almost squirms at the amount of pleasure that is rocking through her body in waves, from her toes to her center and then back to her toes. It almost feels like too much.

Regina's hands place themselves at her lower back, holding firmly as the brunette moves her pelvis slowly, hitting deep spots in Emma that cause white bursts in the corners of her eyes. Emma's face is smashed against the pillow but it doesn't seem to bother her one bit as her entire attention is focused on the magic happening down her body.

"Oh my god" Emma moans and Regina returns it appreciatively, apparently more turned on from Emma's state than she could've imagined. Emma feels that weird so called tickle in her lower stomach, already recognizing it as the unavoidable and also not that far way to another orgasm.

"Mmm, that's right" Regina hums in her ear, tightening her hold on Emma's hips and thrusting harder, deeper, but not faster. The slow pace makes Emma feel like she's in a drunken haze, the bursts of pleasure reach to the point where they're almost as torturous as they are pleasurable. "Come for me" Regina rasps in a sultry voice, sending another batch of arousal down Emma's body.

"Fuck!" Emma gasps, almost shrieks, when Regina lifts her body up, effectively changing her position so the dildo to hits the _exact_ spot Emma needs it to.

Emma's eyebrows come together as she tries to assess the new feeling that takea hold of her body. It's the same tingly feeling like prior to any orgasm, only this once it's mixed with a weird, deeper, sensation.

"I," Emma swallows at a particularly enjoyable trust "I think I'm about to pee" she says , almost shamefully and Regina laughs.

"Oh no you don’t" she promises but it almost sounds like a threat. And then, out of the blue, a firm hands slaps her right cheek with complete unison with oh so right thrust sending her into a blinding, mid blowing, orgasm.

Her entire body trashes under Regina's steadying form. The brunette keeps thrusting and Emma shakes and shakes and shakes.

"Regina!" she shrieks, not sure if she's asking for more or for her to stop. But the words on her tongue scatter away. Her entire body goes rigid and then there's a warm wave washing her pelvis. It takes her a good moment to realize that the wetness isn't just a feeling ,it is literal wetness flowing through her system and out, coating her thighs.

"F-u—u-u-u-k" she chokes out, her voice vibrating with her body. She tries to exert some control over her body but it seems to have a mind of its own.

"That's my beautiful Emma" Regina hums proudly over her ear. She's ceased thrusting, staying still inside Emma as her center closes around the dildo, trying to pull it in.

"Jesu-" her voice fails her and instead she just let a long, drawled, relieved moan. Only now, after having it all gone, she realizes the amount of pent up tightness that her body held before the, whatever that wetness was. Her body is blissfully boneless and she hums appreciatively as Regina covers her upper back with loving kisses.

She redraws the dildo, making Emma shiver one more time before a feeling of emptiness settles. She almost misses it inside her.

Regina's warmth disappears and she whines in protest.

"Wait" Regina tries to chastise but it comes out amused and teasing instead.

Regina helps Emma with her literally limp body and flips her on her back. She places herself against Emma, body half draped on hers and places a leg between Emma's. This time, however, Emma's center stays untouched. It doesn't stop Emma from moaning at the feel of Regina's wet center rubbing against her bare thigh.

"I needed it, you, so much" Regina sighs in relief, finally looking like her calm loving self again.

Regina kisses her slowly, thoroughly, as she moves herself against Emma's thigh.

Emma places a hand on Regina's lower back. She moves it down to squeeze her firm behind but makes sure to go straight up, to avoid making Regina uncomfortable in some way.

But it looks like Regina has other plans and she grabs Emma's hand with hers and moves it down towards the apex of her thighs. Emma breaks the kiss, eyes round with hesitance.

"Are you sure?" she asks gently, hoping to convey her thoughts well enough; that Regina doesn’t have to do this, that she'll understand.

Regina smiles at her, their faces inches apart. "More than anything" she says encouragingly and then Emma's hand is on her center, moving over the slippery velvety folds. Emma's breath quickens in awe at how it feels like home, despite her never been there before.

She lets herself explore, going up and down and to the sides, fingers finding every bump and nook until Regina is writhing. She starts with slow circles, ghosting over Regina's bundle of nerves every couple of strokes, making her gasp.

They're still inches apart and Emma decides that watching Regina's face contort in pleasure, so close to hers, watching her eyes darken with desire and almost disappear behind their eyelids is the most beautiful thing in the world. She wants to spend the rest of her life pleasuring Regina.

The brunette is on her way to the oblivion when Emma's fingers move down, stroking and circling her entrance. She watches Regina's face cloud with desire and wanting.

"Do you want me to…?" she trails off but her question is clear to both sides. Regina looks torn but eventually she shakes her head just enough for Emma to spot.

"Stay up?" she asks and there's so much vulnerability there that Emma can't help but close the distance and kiss her soundly. She moves back up, doing the patterns she knows she likes and pays attention to Regina's reactions, discovering her likes and dislikes.

When she feels Regina's legs trembling over her thighs she breaks the kiss, not wanting to miss the moment. They lock eyes, so close to one another and it's the most intimate Emma has ever been. And it feels good, so good that she can feels her heart squeezing in her chest, hurting from the amount of love that resides there for that stubborn, most beautiful, smart, gentle woman in the world.

"Emma" Regina gasps out when she comes, trying to keep her eyes open until the pleasure proves too much and she closes them, joining their foreheads together to keep their connection.

Regina comes down from her high, settling against Emma, holding her tight.

"My dearest, dearest Emma" she mumbles to herself but loud enough for Emma to hear. She lifts her head up and looks at Emma longingly "No matter what happens with the reporter, with my family, with our jobs, just know that I love you, with all my heart, and I won't let it hurt us, you, ever." She says with such finality and conviction that Emma's body goes into sensory overload.

"I love you too" she chokes out, unable to hold herself she goes in for a kiss, conveying all the feeling she can't seem to word in any other way. 'Saying' again and again _I love you, I love you, I love you!_

And suddenly everything feels different, happy, in place. And _finally_ , after so many years of trying and failing, moving from one family to another, from one house to another, putting faith in people and losing it; after so many years of searching for something that she couldn't put her finger on, after all of those years, she finally feels at _home_.

Home, she realizes is not a place, it's not a building, it's not even a substance. Home, at least for her, is knowing that she's capable of happiness, capable of loving someone with all her might and knowing that this person loves her back.

* * *

 

When they finally manage to untangle themselves after sharing lazy morning kisses and loving strokes they go about packing all the last things that needed to be packed. The flight is scheduled to late noon so they decide to grab a bite at the diner under the prying eyes of Ruby.

"What's her deal?" Regina asks discreetly, leaning across the table so she wouldn't be heard.

Emma glances at Ruby who seems desperate to join them, bored and free of work since there is almost no one there at that time.

"She can't come near you until she gets her shit under control." Emma says and crosses her hands defiantly.

Regina is staring at her, amused beyond no end. "Her shit huh?" she teases and Emma shifts uncomfortably "Looks like someone is jealous" Regina says nonchalantly while staring at her fingernails, though her hidden smirk is not so well hidden.

"Look who's talking" Emma replies, lifting her chin, refusing to back down "I bet you won't be happy when those beautiful, almost naked strippers will be all over me." She teases, chest puffing in pride when she sees Regina's sharp look.

"Emma" she warns and the blonde shrugs innocently.

"It's not my fault if they come to me" she reasons, her stomach ablaze at the amount of excitement she's getting from their little game "I was told the female stripper at those clubs _love_ dancing for women" she finishes with an arched eyebrow at the sight of Regina's sly  eyes.

"Ugh" Regina sighs and shakes her head "If we only had enough time I would tie you up and tease you until you're begging for release and apologizing for being so rude to your girlfriend" she states seriously but her leg caresses Emma's calf under the table, making her jump.

"Promise?" she asks in an attempt to keep up with the feisty brunette, managing to keep the waver in her voice at bay.

Regina's eyebrows shoot up in disbelief at Emma's comeback. Her eyes rake Emma's form hungrily before she returns to sea-green eyes. "Promise"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is what I have for you so far, I do hope you liked it and deemed it worth the wait :) Major steps were taken here today but let's not forget that there are a lot of obstacles left to face. Promise to try my best to update frequently from now on…
> 
> For those of you who read my new story, Legendary Maneuvers, the next chapter will be up today :)


	48. Chapter 48

Emma tries her best to stay discreet as she scans the large compound in awe.

"Welcome to JFK" Regina mumbles in her ear, a smile evident in her voice as she leans into Emma for just a second. So apparently her gawking didn't go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry, I know it's dumb" she mumbles, slightly ashamed of her childish reaction. But honestly, she can't stop herself from admiring the large set of buildings surrounded by a ridiculous amount of planes.

"It's okay" Regina reassures with a brief squeeze of her forearm "I love introducing you to new things" she smirks and it's all sexually charged, making Emma's stomach flip.

They enter the main hall and Emma is astounded by its size as well as the clean, almost unique feel of the place.

They go through all the required stops, from the check-ups to the passport stand and Emma can't stop thanking whatever gods up there for having Regina around. She honestly has no idea how she would've gone through all of this has Regina been just an unfamiliar generic employee.

"Coffee?" Regina suggests once they reach the airside area. Emma accepts the offer, pouting when Regina hands her a black coffee.

"Where's my milk?" she pouts in what she assumes is an adorable way since Regina's face soften and she lift a hand to ghost over Emma's cheekbone.

"You'll thank me later" she says confidently and moves to seat in one of the armchairs scattered around the area.

They're drinking their coffee silently since Emma is still busy scanning the area like it's some unknown world. Her eyes swipe over Regina and halt when she sees the brunette's intense stare.

"Do I-" she immediately sends a hand to her chin "do I have something on my face?" she turns to look down at her shirt since spilling hot beverages all over herself is nowhere near impossible, in fact, it's likely.

Regina shakes her head, mouth quirking up into a shy smile, one Emma doesn't remember seeing before.

"Well?" she asks, frowning.

"I love you" Regina shrugs but her gaze is meaningful, sending waves of warmth all over Emma's body but mainly to her heart.

"I love you too" she says with a smile so wide it hurts. Still, despite having said and done things much more intimate than that she finds herself going completely red. She clears her throat in discomfort and Regina chuckles, her gaze, if possible, gets even more loving and intense.

They stay silent for a few moments, enjoying that alarmingly peaceful and fulfilling moment.

"Tell me something about yourself" Regina says out of the blue, all attention on Emma. And Emma, who has avoided the coffee just in case her throat decides to choke on it in reaction to the warm fuzzy feeling still coursing through her body from the 'I love you' moment, is suddenly very interested in that light brown, boring cup of coffee.

"Huh?" Emma asks, unsure of where it came from.

"Tell me something, anything about you" Regina pushes "I feel like I don't know enough about you" she reasons "and I wish to know more."

Emma's eyes narrow suspiciously as she tries to assess the odds of successfully dodging what could only be a depressing conversation.

"I'll trade you" Regina sweetens the deal in the face of Emma's obvious reluctance "A question for a question" she offers and Emma finds it too tempting to refuse. She nods.

"Good" Regina resolves and she seems to wake up at the face of their new game. "Mmm" she hums, eyes jumping all over the place as she tries to think of a question. "Tell me something about you when you were young" is what she goes with and Emma wrecks her brain in search of something that isn't tainted with violence, disappointment, abandonment, etc. This conversation, she decides, will be a positive one if she can help it.

"Oh!" she calls when she finally lands on something that deems acceptable "Random fact, I used to love climbing, and I mean _love_ climbing" she emphasizes the word with a meaningful look "and I'd keep running away from the adults I was with and go climb the next tree in sight. I was becoming really good in climbing and one day, I think I was around nine, I was outside the house when I saw a fire truck pull over a couple of feet away from where I stood. Needless to say that I was enamored by the large scale red vehicle I had only seen on TV so I approached them." She is getting into the story, making faces and gesturing animatedly with her hands and Regina, Regina seems to soak every word that comes out of her mouth.

"Anyway, I ask them what's wrong and they, you know seeing a small blonde child, just shrug and point at the tree saying a cat was stuck up there, whining and wailing for two days now, effectively disturbing the residents. The tree was not as tall as it was ramified and tangled. They tried to place a ladder but it was impossible due to the amount of branches it had. They were standing there, contemplating their next action when I l jogged toward the tree, thinking nothing of it, and started climbing up. Until they figured out what I was trying to do and started shouting me to get down from there I was already halfway down the tree with a cat scrambling and twitching in my hands."

Emma puffs her chest proudly at Regina's amused lifted eyebrows.

"Anyway, they made a 'card of appreciation' with my name and their signatures for me to take home. I ended up needing vaccinations since the street cat scratched me as it struggled to free himself from my hold but I didn't care, I was the 'savior' that day." She smiles fondly at the memory.

"My hero" Regina mocks but it's loving rather than teasing and Emma shrugs with an exaggerated bow.

"Do you still have it?" Regina inquires.

"The certificate?" Emma asks and her companion nods "Nah, it got lost in one of my house transitions" she provides, determined on not letting that line mess with her entire story. It's not the same on the other side of the table where she catches Regina's gaze darken and mouth turning down a just a little.

She's over it pretty quickly though, smiling when Emma asks for her own funny anecdote.

"So apparently I was hilarious as a little kid" Regina rolls her eyes but her lips quirk up at the memory.

"First, I had a faze where I apparently would run to any woman in sight and call her 'mommy' while holding her legs for dear life" she shakes her head and Emma bursts out in laughter. Regina sends her a look but eventually joins in, chuckling herself. "My mom was mortified" she adds and that encourages another wave of laughter from Emma when the image of an adorable little Regina hanging onto strangers pops in mind.

"Then when I started actually talking I neglected words of attribution and verbs. So instead of saying I want to go now I would constantly say 'I go now'. And when someone pissed me off, which apparently was all the time, I would yell at them 'I kill you, I kill you'" she finishes and Emma eyes tear up.

"Ugh that's precious" she says in between giggles.

"Your turn" Regina says and a certain memory immediately pop, making Emma snort.

"So, I don't know how old I was but I think I just moved houses and my social worker was trying to cheer me up or something. Anyway," Emma moves on, ignoring Regina's sad look. That's her life, they suck but it's in the past now, no need to mourn over things she can't change.

"She took me to this children's play and during the recess she had to pee. The bathrooms were packed and she didn't want to leave me outside by myself so she brought me with her into the stall and told me to turn around. I was never an obedient girl" Emma states with a smirk and the look Regina sends her goes straight to her groin. She clears her throat and continues "So right when she ended peeing I turned around and saw that her panties were in the color of a reddish brown. She was on her period but four or five year old me didn't know that so I just yelled out loud 'Mandy you popped you pants'."

Regina's eyes go round and then she's leaning over laughing and laughing.

"And did people hear?" she asks in between gasp of air and Emma can't help but chuckle herself.

"People were staring at her when we came out of the stall" she adds and Regina's laughter intensifies.

"That's hilarious" she says when she finally gets her laughter under control. She retrieves a handkerchief and dabs the moisture under her eyes. Emma's eyebrows shot up at the fact that Regina even possess a handkerchief but says nothing.

They share some meaningless yet so important stories from their earlier lives when their flight is announced.

Emma follows Regina as they stand in line for the last ticket check-up.

"So I was supposed to be sitting in first class and you in economy" Regina starts and Emma feels the panic rise up at the thought of a large metal craft literally lifting herself off the ground while she's in it, alone. Well not alone, but you get it.

"But knowing it was your first time I switched my first class ticket and moved you up to business so you could sit with me."

Emma, relived and touched by the act, intertwines their hands and squeezes. Regina squeezes back and Emma can't stop herself from lifting their joined hands and kissing Regina's hand.

They go into the jet bridge and Emma can already feel the nausea at the closed space. She dreads imagining how the plane would feel like.

It ends up being much better, claustrophobia wise, thanks to the fact that this business class is spacious and rather comfortable. It almost feels like sitting in a weird restaurant and not in an actual plane. Her face contorts when her brain reproduces the image of the economy class, all the seats stuffed incredibly close to one another, no privacy, no comfort, no space.

"Thank you" she says to Regina who's making herself comfortable in the seat next to hers. She has given Emma the window seat claiming that it's her duty to do so since it's Emma's first flight. 'Wait until you see the view' was all she said.

"You're welcome hone-" she stops mid-word, almost petrified, turning to face a grinning Emma.

"What were you saying?" Emma feigns obliviousness and Regina narrows her eyes at her.

"Nothing" she says quickly and Emma chuckles.

"Alright _honey"_ Emma teases and Regina slaps her shoulder lightly.

"Ouch baby!" she mocks hurt and Regina rolls her eyes at that.

"Cut it off" she orders and Emma can't find it in her, it is just too amusing.

"Why boo?" she tries again, almost cackling when she sees Regina's obvious discomfort.

"Bea?" she tries again, snorting at Regina's exaggerated eye roll.

"Sweetie pie?" at that Regina almost falls out of her chair.

"Emma" she hisses angrily and Emma lifts her hands in surrender.

"We'll find the right one, don't worry muffin" she says and Regina's lips quick up under Emma's watchful gaze. "Ohhh you like that one don't you?" she smirks "muffin" she says again and Regina doesn't glare at her, she doesn't even look slightly bothered. More like smitten and trying to hide it if you ask Emma. "Muffin it is." She concludes and Regina shakes her head at the ridiculous conversation.

"Do you know what I love?" Regina promotes and it's supposed to be rhetorical. Emma jumps in anyway.

"Me" she smiles cheekily and Regina can't hold her smile this time and what a smile it is, all teeth and dimples and shining eyes.

"Well yes" she tilts her head a little "But also" she lifts her finger "silence" she puts a longing expression on her face "blessed silence"

"Fine" Emma folds her hands defiantly, turning her body away to stare out the window.

She hears rustling sounds behind her and then a 'pssst'. She ignores it and soon there's another one. When she turns around Regina is inches from her face and she leans in for a quick peck.

"Try to get some sleep, it will make this flight a lot easier" she advices with a smile on her face "God knows we haven't slept that much last night" she smirks suggestively and Emma feels her face heat up.

"Okay" she says as she settles comfortably into her seat. She hasn't seen this Regina before, all playful and affectionate in public but she definitely, _definitely_ , approves.

Apparently Regina was right. The minute she closes her eyes she falls into a deep slumber and the next time she opens her eyes they're almost landing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this fluffy little chapter, I felt extremely light and goofy today and this is the result :) Also, if you're wondering about the 'poop your pants' story; well ,all I can say is that it's a truly hilarious one and also 100% true provided by a younger me XP


	49. Chapter 49

"Where are you going?" Regina inquires, stopping Emma from inserting the card into its slit.

"My room" the hesitation in her voice turning her statement into a question.

Regina rolls her eyes.

"Come along" she motions with her hand and when Emma doesn't follow she turns "You are staying with me" she pauses " _Muffin_ " she words out in what supposed to be a mocking tone but Emma beams and follows her like a happy puppy.

The hotel is spacious and luxurious. Regina claims that it's located in the heart of London and Emma, having no knowledge of the matter, takes her word for it.

"So, what do we do now?" she asks the minute they enter the suite, their suitcases already waiting for them near the living room couch.

It's late noon and Emma doubts they're expected to get anything done that day. Still, she wants to make sure.

"Something fun" Regina smiles, her height decreasing the minute she steps out of her heels. "We don't have anything scheduled for today" she approaches Emma, her hips swaying. She leans in for a kiss that soon becomes way heated.

But trust Emma to ruin the moment. They have their hands all over each other when Emma's stomach grumbles loudly, embarrassingly loudly, if she might add.

Emma buries her face in Regina's neck, the surface of it trembling as she laughs throatily.

"How about we go and grab something to eat first?"

Emma bites the skin available to her, licking over it when she hears Regina gasp.

"Okay" she untangles herself and looks at Regina expectantly.

* * *

 

When you say 'let's grab something to eat' you usually refer to cheap, greasy food. Of course, Emma didn't expect Regina to take her to McDonalds but the mini palace they were sitting in was making Emma uncomfortable.

Since she started dating Regina they have been trying and learning, slowly but surely, about the other's dining experience. They tried to balance the scale by going to various types of restaurants starting from local American and Mexican diners all the way to upscale Italian and French cuisines.

At times they would spend thirty or forty dollars on a shared meal, sometimes they would pass the three digits barrier. Those were the meals where Emma would fidget the most, trying to decide whether to fight Regina on paying at least half or keep her mouth shut knowing that she can never afford it.

The few times Emma did win the battle of who's paying were the times where they sat in 'her' restaurants. When it was Regina's the brunette insisted that it was only fair that she pays since Emma would've never come to those fancy restaurants if it wasn't for her; which was true yet somehow it did nothing to help Emma's constant feeling of inferiority.

She knew Regina would never accept that reason as a valid one. She also, didn't want to prevent Regina from going out and enjoying herself just because Emma was a poor brat. After a couple of dinners where Emma was almost sick after glancing at the final check she came up with a plan. Continuously so Emma would go for the cheapest items in the menu. It didn't fix the problem completely but it did make Emma feel like she's doing her best attempt to cost Regina less money.

The restaurant they are currently in steals the show so far. Emma suspected it the moment they stepped out of the cab and she came face to face with a complicated, posh-looking name she couldn't even begin to pronounce. She didn't realize how bad it was until Regina actually tipped the man for bringing them the menus.

With a frowning expression she reaches for the menu. Her eyes nearly budging out at the prices located next to the different dishes.

"Emma?" Regina asks and the blonde tries to wipe her shock stricken face clean before looking up.

"Mmm?"

"What do you want to drink?" she asks calmly, unfazed but what could only be described as daylight rubbery.

"A glass of water please" she turns to smile at the waiter. He nods and scurries away.

"A glass of water?" Regina asks, her look suspicious. Emma shrugs as nonchalantly as possible.

"Yes, I don't really want anything"

Regina looks unconvinced but she drops her eyes to the menu again.

The waiter is placing their drinks on the table when Emma catches a glimpse of a divine looking dish. She stretches her to get a better look.

"Excuse me, what is the dish that waiter was carrying?" she asks and he turns just in the time for when the waiter places the dish on a table.

"Oh" he smiles "that's our special garlic-butter lamb chops, it comes with spinach risotto." He elaborates and Emma's mouth waters at the description "Great dish" he says and flips a page in Emma's menu, placing a finger next to the dish.

"Thank you" she nods and he leaves. Only then she looks at the price, almost cringing at sickeningly high price of the dish. Trust Emma to go one of the most expensive items in the already expensive menu.

"Would you like that one?" Regina asks with a small smile, happy that Emma found something that she liked; knowing that a nice portion of the time Emma settles for the safest bet in an attempt to avoid getting stuck with a wired-ass fancy food.

"Err" she stalls "I dunno, I'm not sure"

"Why?"

"I don't think I want meat" it's a lame excuse, one she knows Regina isn't buying.

"You don't want meat?" Regina inquires with her hands folded "You?"

"Yeah" Emma shrugs, eyes scanning for something that looks reasonably priced. That if you can call a minimum of thirty five pound for a dish reasonable.

"I think I will go with the Caesar salad" she nods to herself, noting that this dish also comes with a bread basket. That will satiate her.

"A salad? I thought you were hungry" Regina seems genuinely confuse. She focuses on Emma for a long moment, her gaze turning inquisitive "I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer it honestly" her tone is serious and Emma gulps but nods nonetheless.

"Okay"

"Please tell me that you're not giving up on the chops and taking that salad instead because it's _cheaper_."

Regina's eyes bear into hers and she shrinks under her gaze. Can she outright lie to her face? No. Is it true? Yes.

She casts her gaze down and that seems to be enough of an answer for Regina who grabs her hand with own. When Emma looks up she's met with a torn Regina, her face alternating between hurt and anger, love and disappointment.

"Emma" she sighs and it's so pained that Emma's heart goes out to her.

"Look I really don't mind, it's just food, it doesn't really matter." She tries to reason but Regina shakes her head, not buying it.

"I-" Regina seems lost for words "Why?" is what she eventually goes with.

"Because it really doesn't matter to me" Emma says again, trying to put more conviction in it this time. It's still weak.

"Did I make you feel like you need to-"

"No!" Emma is quick to counter "Of course not"

"Then why?" Regina asks again, her gaze vulnerable and loving and caring and suddenly Emma's eyes tears up and her posture stiffens. "Emma?"

Her sight is blurry and an ugly sounding sob escapes her mouth. Regina is by her side in a second, the small private booth they're in making them feel like they're completely alone.

She rubs her eyes and looks at Regina. She shrugs.

"I don't-, I can't" she lets in a breath "It's too much money for you to spend on me, I can't live with that." She says and her voice wavers "I don't need fancy food, I don't want you to throw so much money on me, it makes me so-" she searches for a word but fails to find one. She slumps into Regina's form and she engulfs her in a warm hug.

"But Emma, my love, I want to spend money on you. I want all the best things in the world for, can't you see that?"

Emma sniffs, pulling herself away so she can look at her girlfriend.

"I can't live up to that. I can't take you to fancy restaurant and buy you things and the more you spend on me, the worse I feel. I'm unworthy of that."

"I don't expect you to live up to that, I don't expect you to spend money on me. Emma," she grabs her chin, thumb caressing her jawline "I don't need you to spend money on me, I have more money than I can ever spend. Money has no value to me. All the money in the world doesn't compare to the love and affection and care that you give me. Money is meaningless in comparison to the warmth and joy you bring to my life. I've had my parents and ex-girlfriends spend obnoxious amounts of money on me but what is it worth if I never felt loved and accepted and cherished and important?

You make me feel important and loved and cared for and that is more than I have ever gotten from anyone else, as rich as they may be. So I spend money on you and take you to restaurants and want to buy you everything you desire because it's the only way I know how show care. Do you think I'll let someone I love eat a salad because it's cheaper? I will buy you the moon if you ask for it for long enough"

Regina smiles and Emma lets out a watery laugh.

"It's just- relationships are built on giving and taking, and if there's an imaginary scale right now, it's not even tipped over, it's on the floor because you give me so much and I give you nothing"

"Have you not been listening to what I've just said?" Regina chastises but it's more like stern loving. "You give so much, more than you can understand. I have not said I love you romantically meaning it like I do with you, ever."

Regina's gaze is all liquid warmth filled with love and Emma has no other choice but to accept it as the truth. She nods hesitantly and Regina leans in for a short, yet deep kiss.

When they break Emma sighs.

"Look, I will try to wrap my head around it but you have to understand that it's hard. It's hard for me to order a hundred pound dish as if it is nothing when a younger version of me had to sometimes skip days between meals. A hundred pounds is enough to feed my entire home for a week and here I am spending it on a single meal."

Regina intertwines their hands, squeezing.

"Then we will try to fix it." She determines and elaborates upon Emma's confused face "You don't have to deprive yourself from living because others are suffering. You need to keep living your life and at the same time try and help them."

"How?"

"It is something that I've been thinking about since our visit in Boston. This project, the hospital, is soon to be done. Yes, there is still money to raise and construction to complete but once this whole ordeal is performed it's only a matter of time until this hospital will stand and provide cutting edge technology and quality medicine to thousands of people regardless of their economical state. Our job, as people with power and fortune and influence is to keep trying to make this world better. That is what our family believes in. once we're done with this project we will go around looking for the next big thing. Let's try and see whether Mill's next social project could be helping kids in the system."

"Regina I-" she stutters because this is too much, Regina is too much and Emma can't handle the sensory overload that is overcoming her system.

"I can't promise anything but we can at least try" she smiles and Emma, having no idea how to express the deep gratitude she is currently feeling dives in for a toe-curling kiss.

"You hold that thought" Regina mumbles inches from her lips once they part.

Emma discards the salad she didn't want in the first place and settles on relatively reasonably priced steak instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not as long as I wished it would be but the massage was much more important to me than the length. I will cease promising to do my best and update since it seems to be jinxing me big-time. Instead I'm just going to thank you all for keeping up with me :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey guys!
> 
> I know I've been away for so freaking long and I hate it. The thing is, I have college applications to submit and SAT tests to take (And I'm not even American!!!) so you do the math how much time this shit takes out of my day :( Add that to working three jobs and you get a very busy me. This hell is supposed to be over by the end of January… I will try to update every once in a while but I'll practically be dormant until it is over. Then I'll be back in full force, so stick with me :)
> 
> Oh! And happy holidays everybody! :P

 

 "Regina?" Emma mumbles into the, still warm, empty bed. When an answer isn't voiced she lifts her head up, eyes blinking the sleep away.

"'Gina?" she tries again, eyes scanning the dark room. It's empty. The dark skies indicate that it is still night and Emma frowns at the absence of her girlfriend.

She rises from the bed, immediately missing the comfort provided by the luxurious sheets and goose-feathers blanket. Tiptoeing to the living room she finds a rather beautiful pictures. The drapes are open, exposing the city's skyline. The bright stars in the sky kiss the city lights in what looks like a blanket of twinkles. Regina, with a sheet draped over her otherwise naked form (thanks to last night's enjoyable activities) is leaning against the window, staring into the wide space stretched out if front of her. Her face, even more beautiful if possible, half lit by the lights of the city.

She turns to look at Emma, her thoughtful gaze turns loving for just a second before returning to clouded swirling concern.

"Hey" she mumbles, not moving an inch. Emma makes her way to the window. Once she reaches it she wraps her hands around Regina's form, molding their bodies together.

"What's on your mind?" she coaxes and moves to ghost her lips over the smooth skin of Regina's shoulders. The brunette hums in response, head lolling back.

"Things" she sighs and Emma quits her actions.

"Wanna share?" she asks softly, not wanting to push Regina into telling her anything but at the same time wanting to be there for her.

"Mmm" Regina hums noncommittally and goes quiet. Emma almost gives up on receiving an answer when the brunette finally rasps out. "My mother" she states and Emma doesn't need anything else to know exactly what bothers her.

"I'm here for you" she whispers and Regina's lips quirk up "I mean it" she emphasizes "Anything you need. You want me to be there? I'll be there. You want space? I'll give you space. I want it to be easy but since I know it won't, I want to help making it _easier_."

Regina turns her head, pressing her lips against Emma's in a lazy kiss. Then, she goes back to staring at the cities.

"I fear for you" she admits quietly.

"Don't be" Emma assures "Trust me, I can take it" because she honestly can. What's an homophobic mother in comparison to drunken foster parents and violent foster kids?

The older woman chuckles but it lacks the humor.

"I know you think you can but you don't know my mother." She states and Emma frowns.

"You think she'll go down on me?"

"I honestly don't know. I don't know how badly she will react, I don't know who she is going to take it on. I fear it's not going to be me."

Emma keeps quiet, sensing that the brunette wasn't done. Sure enough, she continues a moment later.

"She wants me to take over, I doubt she will punish me in a way that will hurt her interests. You, on the other hand, are an easy target. My mother is quite resourceful and creative when she wants to be."

They go quiet, both processing their thoughts and emotions.

"We will figure it out." Emma says eventually. Imagining a different scenario is too painful. Would Regina choose romance over family and business? That sounds unlikely to Emma; Regina jeopardizing her future for her.

"I will fight for you" Regina states and Emma can't help but chuckle "I will" Regina repeats, determined "I won't let her lay a hand on you."

"As much as I appreciate it, please keep in mind that she is your mother and this is your family and your future on the line. Be reasonable." Emma nozzles her nose into her neck. So that's what is feels like caring for another more than yourself. Surprisingly so, it doesn't set her nerves on edge.

"Emma" Regina protests, she turns around in the blonde's embrace, chocolate eyes bore into emerald ones. "You matter" she states, her eyes determined. "I love you and even if it might scare you, and hell, even me, I see a future." She smiles timidly, almost as if she's afraid her words will chase Emma away. "I know it's early but," she swallows "I've never felt this deeply about someone Emma. Sometimes I feel like locking you down just so I know you won't leave."

"I'm not going anywhere" Emma assures, her face colored with love and content.

"I know you don't but I still fear it and that, my love, means that you matter so much." She leans in, their lips inches apart "Someday I want you to carry my name and I yours, I want to wake up next to you, to hold your hand without behind afraid of the consequences, I want you to be mine. My Emma." She finishes with a smile and Emma charges forward, crashing their lips together.

"I am yours" she mumbles in between kisses "And always will be, if you let me."

Her hold tightens around her form, hands caressing all over the brunette's sheet-clad body.

"And I see a future too" she breathes out, her chest heaving due to lack of air. She feels like she's about to explode from the size and depth of the emotions currently coursing through her body.

"You do?" Regina asks with a vulnerable voice, her face so hopeful they make her look years younger.

"Of course I do" she says, her tone airy, when Regina charges her neck "I love you" she rasps out.

"I love you too" Regina's voice is muffled by Emma's skin.

That's the last coherent words they say for the rest of the night.

* * *

 

"It is all taken care of?" Regina asks with a hint of a smile on her face. She's looking at Emma since she answered the call, her eyes twinkling mischievously. Emma's frown deepens and deepens in the face of what could only be called giddiness. Giddiness and Regina should not go hand in hand yet somehow that's exactly how Regina looks right now, giddy.

"Excellent" Regina announces, drawing Emma's attention once again. Her smile is large, almost a beam, and her eyes dart all over Emma's facial features.

'What?' Emma mouths but Regina ignores it and bids her goodbye politely.

When she places the phone down, a small smile is still gracing her face. She dives back into her breakfast, ignoring Emma's expectant face.

"Regina?" she asks when she realizes Regina isn't planning on sharing.

"Mmm?" she hums, looking pleased with herself.

"What was that about?"

"What?" she asks innocently, but Emma isn't buying it. "The phone call?" she asks after Emma sends a pointed look directed at her cell.

"Yes" she voices out slowly "The phone"

"Oh, that's a surprise" Regina sends her a sinister look, enjoying their banter more than she should.

Emma examines her face carefully. "A surprise to whom?"

Regina shrugs nonchalantly and Emma shakes her head in disbelief. "Oh no!" she exclaims, whining "Please tell me you didn't buy or spend an obnoxious amount of money about something related to me." She half begs half determines.

Regina doesn't answer but her lips twitch. That's enough of a confirmation to Emma.

"Come on Regina, I thought we talked about it."

"Relax" the brunette dismisses calmly "It is as much for me as it is for you so calm down." she rises from her seat, leaving the plate for the butler that will probably arrive once they're gone.

Emma watches her fixing her outfit, completing it with a sharp blazer. A blazer that makes Emma's stomach do flips when she watches Regina in it. Not that she will ever admit that. Actually, she might, later, when they're naked and writhing.

"Emma, are you coming?" Regina looks at her from her place near the door. Emma nods, jumps out of her chair and follows Regina outside.

"Don't forget" Regina reminds her while they're in their car. Apparently Regina is important enough to be assigned with a driver. "Just like the office in New York, you are just my employee."

* * *

 

The first day is gone in a blink of an eye. Emma follows Regina throughout the day like a puppy, accompanying here during meetings and presentations. The brunette's stance is as confidence as it always is and Regina strides down the halls with the composure of a queen. She is familiar with the London based office, it turns out, after spending quite some time here in her youth.

Most but not all of their scheduled meeting are fundraiser's related. The workers seem to milk Regina's skills to the last drop, asking for her help and using her knowledge and skills in various projects. Regina remains professional all throughout those unexpected detours, answering their questions politely and helpfully.

When they finally get to discussing the event Regina seems to light up. It's not noticeable, she's sure, to a generic employee. But to Emma, who's used to memorize each and every nook in Regina's features, Emma sees the difference. She sees the excitement lighting up her eyes, turning them from mundane dark brown to a caramel shade. She sees her posture change, her body leaning forward, seeking to get more involved.

It's a long, grueling day but they get to spend it together, sending meaningful looks when no one is watching.

When they get back to the hotel they are exhausted. They decide on a rather calm evening. They get into the Jacuzzi, keeping their kisses heated just enough but not too much. Then, they move to the living room, finally trying the large comfy-looking couch, finding it as comfortable as it looks if not more. They order in and snuggle in front of the TV until they're on the verge of falling asleep and then they retire to their room.

The second day is mostly spent outside, which is wonderful because it's disturbance-free and horrible since it looks like the skies decide to piss on them. Literally.

"Oh fuck" Emma moans and adds another bite into her stuffed mouth.

Regina lifts an eyebrow but her small smile is giving her away.

"That good?" she asks while sipping from her sugar free coffee. They're sitting In a small coffee shop, seeking a shelter from the rain.

"Mmm!" Emma nods enthusiastically, turning to count how many churros she has left in the bag.

"You've never had churros before?" Regina inquires, surprised.

Emma shakes her head "Foster kid, remember?" she points at herself while shrugging.

"Yes" Regina slumps a little in her seat.

"Oh come on!" Emma exclaims, reaching out to grab Regina's hand. "It is who I am. It's sad, I know, but it's in the past and I can't change it, there's no reason to keep mourning. It's over."

Regina stares at her thoughtfully, her hand mindlessly playing with Emma's.

"You're right" she relents and Emma smiles.

"Duh" she states and it makes Regina chuckle.

"Idiot" she mumbles lovingly.

"Your idiot" she adds.

"Damn right" Regina confirms and leans over the table for a kiss.

* * *

 

"It's going to be okay" Emma promises.

"You don't know that" Regina states bitterly.

The elevator charges up towards the upper floor. The closer they get, the 'jumpier' Regina gets. Her stiff form and jigging leg indicate just how nervous the usually put together woman is.

"True, but I believe it will." She counters and grabs Regina's chin, turning her head so they can stare at each other. "I know it's scary and it will probably be one of the hardest things you have done in your life but it's necessary. And once it will be over you'll feel so relieved and free that it will all be worth it." she ghosts her thumb over her jaw line, just like Regina did to her days prior. She can't help but feel her heart expand with pride thinking about how far they've come. Now, they lean on each other and support each other instead of looking away and closing themselves off. And that, that makes all the difference.

Regina nods absentmindedly so Emma steals a peck and locks eyes with her girlfriend.

"She is your mom after all, she loves you."

Regina hesitates but eventually nods and it's moments later that they step out to the spacious management floor. Regina slows down when they reach a large glass door. To its side there's a metal plate screwed to the wall, and on it, written in a clean font is the name

_'Cora Mills'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know it's cruel to stop here but I felt like I had to give you something. I hope you enjoyed it and that it will keep you afloat until I'm done with all the registration and testing process. Next chapter is the feared yet expected one- Regina talks to Cora :O
> 
> Let me know what you think?


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> I can finally say that I'm back. I'm pretty much done with all that I had to do and now I can get back to updating regularly :) My other ongoing story (Legendary Maneuvers) has been updated twice already but I had to think long and hard about this story and how I want it to proceed. I hope I did a good enough job :)
> 
> Enjoy!

 

_Regina hesitates but eventually nods and it's moments later that they step out to the spacious management floor. Regina slows down when they reach a large glass door. To its side there's a metal plate screwed to the wall, and on it, written in a clean font, is the name_

_'Cora Mills'_

* * *

 

"Mother" Regina nods curtly as she enters the large office with Emma in tow.

"Regina, dear" the woman in the desk lifts her head up, removing her reading glasses. Emma watches intently as the older woman scans her daughter's attire from head to toe. She purses her lips when her attention turns briefly to Emma.

Regina is in the midst of taking her seat when Cora clears her throat as smoothly as possible, effectively drawing Regina's attention. Regina looks confused just for a second before understanding washes over her face.

"Oh," she calls while gesturing for Emma to take the seat next to her "apologies, this is Emma Swan" she introduces Emma. The blonde, who's still watching Cora, catches a brief, partially hidden, look of distaste before the cold stare settles in instead. A hand is offered to her and she accepts the shake, putting an embarrassingly amount of attention on providing a shake with the perfect amount of strength; not to weak, not too strong.

"Miss Swan" Cora greets and Emma can't stop the small smile that graces her face at the similarity between the mother and daughter. Her mind goes into a small panic attack when she realizes that she doesn't know how to address the older woman. Regina has talked about Cora keeping the Mills family name despite her divorce from Henry, Regina's father. But does that mean that she goes by Mrs. Mills or by Miss Mills?

She is required to make a decision quickly.

"Miss Mills" is what she goes with eventually. Cora nods at her approvingly, looking pleased with the title, and Emma lets out a relived breath.

"Emma is accompanying me and assisting me with the planning of the event for quite some time now. She is from the HR department." Regina provides and Cora drinks all the information in, a finger leaning against her chin as she scans Emma's form for what feels like the hundredth times. Emma has to actively stop herself from fidgeting under the woman's steel gaze but she manages to concentrate entirely on Regina as the brunette elaborates on their progress so far.

Emma opts on avoiding looking at Cora unless it is absolutely necessary. Instead, she scribbles down important details the women raise while they discuss the project, the attending list, the extent of the press that will cover the event and so on.

When Emma looks up at Regina she can't stop her face from lighting up. She knows she should looks professional and show no connection to the woman, especially after Regina shyly admitted that she would rather have that conversation with her mother alone. But she can't help but admire her girlfriend in that setting.

It's such a turn-on, she realizes, to watch Regina work. She is so sexy like that, all smart and knowledgeable and confident, outweighing everyone in the room. It's the equivalent to watching a brilliant athlete on the field, or a great singer on stage- Regina is so incredibly good at what she does that it doesn't matter that her profession is relatively boring. What matters is that she owns the room, she carries the company, and she's so very good at what she does that Emma finds herself enamored each and every time she gets to witness Regina in her element.

"Emma" Regina calls, snapping her out of her haze. With tinting cheeks she realizes that both women's eyes are on her.

"Yes?" she turns to looks at Regina. The minute they lock eyes Emma knows it's her time to leave. She nods and gets up without saying a word, thinking nothing of how odd and deep their communicating must seem from the outside, especially to such an observant person like Cora.

"I'll be right outside" she provides while grabbing her notebook and heading out the office.

When the door closes behind her she takes a step to her right and sags against the wall. She allows herself a moment to recover and then she takes a sit on the fancy-looking black leather couch located right in front of Cora's office.

Finally, she's in the clear, and she lets her jumping leg run wild, releasing all the pent up tension from the charged meeting. Overall, she thinks it went pretty well. But the hard part has yet to come. She finds that she doesn't care in the slightest about herself, all she worries about is Regina and how she will handle her mother.

She waits and waits and eventually, _finally_ , the door opens to reveal a well put together version of her girlfriend; but a closer look reveals how unsettled she is and Emma's hand twitches to reach for her. She stops herself from doing so, aware of their surrounding.

She gets up and approaches Regina.

"How did it go?" she asks, eyes jumping over her hunched (as much as Regina's posture can be hunched) form and painfully blank expression.

The brunette sighs, a flash of emotion appearing and disappearing before Emma gets the chance to try and identify what it is. She opens her mouth but whatever it is she was planning to say is cut by the sound of Regina's phone. She stares down at it and lifts it to her ear.

"That's Daniel" she sends an apologizing look her way.

"Go" Emma encourages with a reassuring smile. Regina flashes her a grateful smile in return and heads towards an empty looking conference room, sending Emma one last look before closing the door for some privacy.

Emma's hands find their way to the pockets of her fanciest pair of jeans. It is her girlfriend's mother that they were meeting today after all. She knew a positive impression is an unlikely outcome but she hoped to at least avoid making a negative one. Neutral and blending in the background is just fine.

Yet somehow, despite her better judgment, she finds herself approaching Cora's office. She has no idea why she's doing this but she is knocking on the door before she gets any chance to actually process this suicidal act she's currently performing.

"Miss Swan?" Cora greets, her demeanor as well put together as before, but Emma thinks she can spot a little surprise swimming in her eyes and lacing her voice.

"May I?" she gestures towards the chair Regina just occupied.

Cora takes a moment to consider, probably just to make Emma uncomfortable, before tilting her head towards it as a sign of consent.

"How may I help you Miss Swan?" she asks, professional as ever, yet there's a dangerous sparkle dancing in her eyes and Emma knows she needs to weigh her words carefully. She's walking on thin ice.

"I-" she clears her throat, trying to find to best way to go at it. Realizing that no matter how hard she tries and how eloquently she puts it, it's not going the really change the way Cora thinks of her. And honestly, at the moment, it doesn't matter.  

"Look, I know what you must think" she starts and Cora's eyebrows are already quirking up with judgment "You're going to do a research on me, I have no doubt, so let me save you the trouble: I'm an orphan, spent my life in foster homes, I don't possess anything substantial other than a tiny apartment in the city and a valuable job that has landed on me and is basically a miracle. I'm not educated or smart like you daughter, also not as well achieved, and trust me, there isn't anyone more surprised than I am that this wonderful person has picked me and none other to date." Cora looks slightly amused; nevertheless, she doesn't stop Emma so the blonde continues.

"I am not in any position to tell you how to treat your daughter but since you've raised such a beautiful, compassionate, well achieved human being I can only assume you want the best for her. I'm not saying that I'm the best for her" she shifts awkwardly at her purporting insinuation "but all I am saying is that at the end of the day, with all the differences between us put aside, we both want the best for Regina. That's why I'm here, because I know that she's too damn stubborn to ask you herself."

Cora remains silent but Emma can feel the curiosity overflowing her system.

"There's a reporter, Lauren Castillo, she's a nosy one." Emma's face curls in distaste at the mention of that woman.

"Regina told that she's been trying to expose her for a couple of years now. She saw me and Regina at party and ever since she's been trying to snoop around and get enough information to go public with it. Daniel has been working on it for weeks, trying to get her off of it, but he has not been very successful."

She quiets for a second when Cora's angry glare sends chills down her spine and she hopes it is aimed at Lauren rather than her.

"Despite what you might think of me or Regina's preferences, this is a laundry rather done at home. By angry, be judgmental, be mean to me, I don't care" she motions animatedly with her hands "Regina doesn't deserve to be outed like that." She swallows, her face heating up like every other time she considers the situation.

"She should do it on her own terms, do it only if she wishes to. I know you're well connected." She says and Cora's delicate eyebrow arches.

"Do it for Regina, stomp that little reporter down, stop her from going public with it." She says with the last ounce of confidence she can master, rising from her chair.

"Once it's off the table, do and act as you please: tell her I'm out of her league, criticize her choices, drive her against me" that raises a small smile on Cora's face and Emma dares to think that maybe she is growing, even if just by little, on her.

"I can take it." She concludes, already walking towards the door.

"Miss Swan" Cora says calmly, speaking for the first time since Emma started her rant.

"Yes?" she turns eagerly, having no façade left to present,

"What's the name of this reporter?" she asks and Emma feels her heart leaps once.

"Lauren Castillo" she provides, watching Cora's delicate hand scribble the name on a notepad.

When nothing else is said Emma realizes it's her cue. She dismisses herself, leaving the office pounds lighter. Cora will fix it, Emma has no doubt and damned be the consequences for her. For the moment, all Emma cares about is Regina's freedom and privacy and future.

She scans the corridor, and is relieved to realize that Regina is still locked in that conference room, walking in circles as she talks to Daniel. She retakes her seat and waits for Regina to finish.

"Emma?" Regina steps out of the room, phone clutched tightly in her hand.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go get a drink"

* * *

 

"Another one" Regina signals the bartender "You know what," she corrects herself when he approaches them "make that two" she steals a glance at Emma's almost empty glass.

The young man nods and scurries away. He comes back after retrieving the most expensive looking bottle of whiskey Emma has ever came across and fills their glasses.

Regina downs almost half of it immediately, drawing Emma's attention.

"Easy" Emma chuckles awkwardly, worried. She is not used to see Regina so, so reckless. Regina Mills, the woman who can take on everyone and everything, depending on alcohol to handle her mother.

Regina turns to look at her, eyes slightly dazed but somehow so very focused on her.

"Sorry" she mumbles.

"That's okay" she is quick to assure, taking Regina's hand in hers and squeezing.

"She didn't like it" Regina grinds out, her expression dark and distant.

"What? Your preferences?" Emma asks in lack of a better word.

Regina bites her lips worriedly and looks at her intently.

"My sexuality, you" she says eventually, sending an apologizing looks her way "she will come around"

Regina's tone laces with determination "I will make her come around, you'll see, I promise you."

"That's okay" she says calmly "I wasn't expecting anything else"

Regina's hand grazes her cheek.

"Stop that" she says softly, eyes caring and loving and convincing.

"Okay" she whispers. She knows how much Regina despises Emma selling herself short. Sometimes she just can't help it, but Regina is quick to shut that line of thought down each and every time. She never needed assurance like she needs from Regina, and it's unsettling and heartwarming at the same time.

"I love you" Regina says quietly after a break.

"I love you too" Emma smiles and leans in for a kiss "Let's get you out of here." She says after examining her slightly wobbly girlfriend.

Emma helps Regina off the stool and places a supporting hand on her hip. Not that Regina needs help of course… Or so she claims.

"Look at you" Regina whispers in her ear, her warm breath send tingles down her spine. "Taking advantage of a drunk woman"

Emma snorts and Regina smiles seductively at her.

"From the looks of it is you that are going to take advantage of me" she sasses, an amused smile is still firmly placed on her face. She waits For Regina's alcohol-consumed mind to wrap itself around her words. Eventually the brunette catches up.

"Damn right I will" she winks and Emma chuckles.

"Let's see if you can make it all the way to the hotel without passing out first." She retorts while they walk towards the awaiting cab.

Regina dismisses the statement with her hand.

* * *

 

Turns out Emma underestimated Regina's ability to sex her up while drunk. They barely make it to their suite and Emma is already twisted to all kinds of positions while Regina draws an orgasm after orgasm out of her.

When she tries to go for Regina the brunette slaps her hands while pouting adorably. _It's her turn_ , she claims.

"But it has been your turn three times in a row" Emma complains while Regina pushes into a sitting position and slips her head between her legs.

"Well," Regina says, voice slightly muffled by Emma's thighs "life is unfair" she determines as she grabs Emma's hips and pulls it towards her awaiting mouth.

* * *

 

"You should move in with me" Regina mumbles sleepily into Emma's ear.

They're all curled up on the bed, after god knows how many rounds, too blissful to sleep, too exhausted to do anything else.

"You're drunk" Emma replies while her thumb draws calming circles on Regina's hand, the one circling her waist.

"Okay, move in when I'm sober" Regina reasons and Emma can't help the chuckle that bubbles from the base of her throat. She has to admit that drunk Regina grows on her quite nicely.

"God I love you" she says fondly, feeling a hand drawing her closer and molding her back with Regina's bare front.

"I mean it"

"Mmm"

"Seariously"

"Let's talk tomorrow" Emma assures and after a while she can hear Regina's even breathing.

Her minds swirls with Regina's words. _She's drunk_ , she thinks to herself, _it probably doesn't mean anything._ But it doesn't stop Emma from entertaining the thought of Regina seriously asking her to move in. she closes her eyes and drifts off into a peaceful sleep, realizing that she wouldn't mind that at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope it was worth the wait… Let me know what you think? :)


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no see, and it’s all because of me… Sorry about that.
> 
> So here’s the thing, the rewriting thing is definitely rewarding and important for this story, but it takes much longer than I anticipated (thanks to me, not you Larissa -my beta-, you are amazing!). I know how I would have felt had the situation been flipped and I was the reader waiting for months for my story to be updated and so I’m going back to writing it! cue applause.
> 
> Can’t promise a chapter every week, but I’ll do my darn best to keep it somehow regularly updated while continuing to edit the previous chapters and posting my other story, Below The Belt (go check it out, it’s awesome).
> 
> It was so weird writing this one again, I hope I did good… If you think I nailed it, please show my some love and write me a nice comment :) If you think something was off, leave a comment as well, since as long as they are constructive, I can learn from them and get better.
> 
> I’ve babbled enough, enjoy!

**Chapter** **52**

 

"You’re doing it again” Emma points at her accusingly.

 

"Doing what?” Regina tries to feign ignorance but can’t seem to keep her amusement at bay as it soon blossoms on her features.

 

"That” Emma claims, eyes narrowing in suspicion “You’re being sly again” she states knowingly. Regina says nothing in return, delicately munching on her croissant.

 

"You’re so observant, you should be a detective” the brunette mocks and the blonde sticks her tongue out in return. That earns her an eye-roll.

 

"You’re such a baby.”

 

"So you’re not going to tell me?”

 

"No”

 

Emma deflates in her seat.

 

"I’m going to show you”

 

 

***

 

 

"Is that the surprise? We’re going home early?” Emma puzzles over the scenery that presents itself outside the cab window. When they enter the passenger unloading section in Heathrow airport, Regina leans forward and pays the driver, still not having said a word.

 

"Regina” Emma exclaims, eyes go round with realization “What about my suitcase?”

 

"Don’t worry, I had it packed” the brunette soothes and moves to open the door “it’s in the trunk.”

 

And true to her word, Emma’s suitcase is soon placed on the pavement by the driver, followed by Regina’s.

"Where now?” she asks, still very much confused and disoriented. She fails to see how cutting their business trip short serves as a surprise. Sure, they might have to work while they’re here, but it’s London, and Emma still sees it as an amazing opportunity to be abroad, even if for work purposes.

"Inside, of course” Regina tilts her head and starts walking towards the huge hall. Reluctantly, and in a lack of a better thing to do, Emma follows.

  


***

  


"Alright, I guess holding you off at that point is just mean.” Regina says and leans forward to take Emma’s hand in hers. 

"Well, you are mean” Emma teases, but the soft smile on her face is enough to tell Regina’s that she’s merely joking. Still, it earns her a light slap on the shoulder.

"Do you want to know what it is or not?” Regina threatens, and she’s looking serious enough for Emma to nod enthusiastically and lift their joined hands to kiss Regina’s in an attempt to appease.

"I do”

"Where do you think we’re going?”

"Home?” Emma says uncertainly, making it sound more like a question than a statement.

"Mmm mmm” Regina shakes her head, smiling at the blonde “A couple of months ago, someone” the brunette sends a knowing look her way “asked me about Paris.” she says calmly, in stark comparison to the now wildly beating heart of the younger woman sitting opposite her. “And I felt like I failed to explain properly what this city is like” she continues and Emma shakes her head in disbelief, a weak _Regina_ slips away from her lips before she can help it. “This woman also reminded me that I’ve been working too much. So much, that I can’t recall the last time I got up on a plane for my pleasure rather than work.” Regina stops and smirks at her flabbergasted looking girlfriend “So I thought to myself,” she muses out loud, enjoying her little show way to much “Why no celebrate two very important occasions while we’re at it.”

“What…?” Emma breathes out, raising an inquisitive and slightly confused gaze and locks it with Regina’s.

"The first, is my beautiful girlfriend's birthday, and the second, is my six amazing months with said girlfriend.” Regina states, her words too formal and almost impersonal, but her warm tone and kind, loving gaze make it a knockout that hits Emma right in the heart. “We’re going to Paris, my darling Emma” she smiles broadly, the smile dazzling enough to shake Emma out of her daze. She leans forward and captures her girlfriends lips in a heated kiss, barely minding their surrounding and caring very little about it, as tears fill her eyes. she’s still overwhelmed by emotions when they part and she draws Regina in for a tight hug, still craving a touch.

"Regina” she whispers, still finding full sentences difficult to produce at the moment, hoping that her tone and the strength of her embrace are enough to convey what her mouth fails to.

"I love you” the brunette whispers in her ear “Happy birthday, my love”

  


***

  


"We’re almost there” Regina informs gently, watching Emma’s obvious enamorment with immense satisfaction. 

Emma held her hand throughout their entire flight to France, sending incredulous looks her way every couple of minutes, that were followed by moister as waves of raw happiness flashed in her green eyes. The fact that their little romantic getaway was bound to be over in just two days seemed to mean little to nothing to Emma, who was still having difficulties wrapping her head around Regina’s amazing gesture.

"Here” she says, pointing towards a small alley. On their drive there Regina told Emma about Paris, and the concept of arrondissements that this unique city is known for. As the cab moved forward to the heart of the city, Emma felt as if they were going back in time: the street became narrower as a different, charming aura oozed from the old-looking buildings surrounding them.

"Merci, monsieur. Votre argent” Regina says kindly, the words rolling smoothly off her mouth, earning a raise of an eyebrow from her impressed companion.

"You speak French?” Emma inquires as they head towards their assigned hotel. They have to walk the remaining few feet to their hotel since the ancient looking is street is too narrow to fit a car. That trait provokes a wave of wonderment in Emma as she scans the beautiful bricked pavement and small, characterized buildings in that street.

"A little” Regina provides, shrugging nonchalantly “I had to run some business here and learning, even if just few words, in the country’s language can do wonders to their sense of appreciation and willingness to conduct business with foreigners.” she explains knowingly “Especially in France, where they are so proud, and almost sanctify their culture and homeland.” 

When Emma whistles in response, impressed yet again, by Regina’s professionalism and perfectionism when it comes to knowing her craft, the brunette hums in response.

"Business is art.” she determines “If you don’t know how to interact with the companies around you and create bonds with them, your product worth’s is equivalent to nothing.”

They step into a fairly short, four stories high, building that looks more of a road-side motel to Emma than a valid hotel. She frowns at that as her mind is having trouble pairing Regina with such place. But she’s proven wrong fairly quickly, when they are lead to their luxury suit at the top floor. The building molds with its neighborhood perfectly, the design consists of pastel colors and gold lines that somehow blend skillfully together and compose an 18 th century scenery. The decoration imprinted all over the furniture and walls indicates the amount of time and effort put in order to create such a detailed yet delicate vintage looking room. It is not flashy in any way, but it is splendid and elegant in every sense of the way. Emma almost laughs when she realizes that this hotel is Regina in a building’s form: in no way lacking money or prestige, but only presenting the right amount of that class in a way that makes it endearing and not frightening at its obvious richness.

"It’s beautiful” she says a little breathily. The relatively spacious room still manages to feel cozy enough for Emma to feel comfortable. There aren’t superfluous amounts of space, those which usually aren’t even necessary nor occupying any furniture but are still there, almost as if the state ‘the room doesn’t  _need_ to be that big, but we can afford it, so why not?’. And so, Emma finds herself crossing the room to Regina’s whereabouts in a few steps. “Thank you” she whispers right before leaning in for a gentle kiss.

It doesn’t remain innocent for long and soon enough Regina’s tongue swipes over her lower lip in a silent plea to be granted entrance. Emma complies and a moan escapes her throat when Regina’s soft tongue dances in her mouth. Possessive hands glide over the other’s form and just when it is about to get to the good stuff Regina pulls away.

"Mmm” Emma whines in protest and tries to snuggle back into the nook between Regina’s neck and shoulder unsuccessfully.

"I know” Regina agrees “But it will ruin my surprise, so you will have to wait with those thoughts.” she orders, a very specific glaze covering her eyes when she voices the word _thoughts,_ one that Emma recognizes as raging blind desire.

"Another surprise? Regina, you’re overdoing it.” Emma chastises, but lets herself be pulled into a gentle hug.

"I’m not. Trust me, you’ll love it.” she promises and the blonde finds herself nodding, accepting it.

  


***

  


They walk along the streets of the city, just as Emma dared to picture all those months ago on their trip to Boston. Still unable to wrap her head around the whole experience, Emma settles for the simple joy of being able to hold Regina’s hand and brush strands of brown hair away from her gorgeous face without thinking of the risks that accompany that gesture.

Another utterly thrilling aspect of it is the amazing ways of this city when it comes to food. Regina educates Emma about the culinary capital and the way that the truly amazing food can be found in the street just as much as it can be found in fancy restaurants, it’s all about knowing where and how to look. And so they walk and scan the streets for those little carts, buying all different kinds of heavenly miracles in small shapes of different foods. It makes Emma beyond happy and her joy is whole knowing that the amazing food hasn’t cost Regina an arm and a leg, and that knowledge, combined with the beauty around them and the woman she loves at her side makes Emma feels happy in the full sense of the word. She tries to think of the last time she felt like that, coming short. She decides, instead, to concentrate on the present, and enjoy it as it occurs.

  


***

  


"I meant it” Regina says out of the blue as they stroll towards the charming Île Saint Louis.

"What?” Emma asks, failing to pin point what Regina is referring to.

"I want you to move in with me” she says softly, lovingly, but Emma knows her girlfriend well enough to detect the small amount of vulnerability the creeps into her voice, probably despite her vigorous efforts to keep it away from it. “If you want to, that is.” she adds, head bowing bashfully.

Emma smiles at her, taking a deep breath before replying “I’d love to. Maybe not the minute we come back, but I definitely want to in the future.” she says, feeling an inexplicable need to assure Regina of her intentions, regardless of the lack of specific timeline at the moment.

The beam that washes over Regina’s face leaves Emma panting, and she finds herself blurting out “Regina, I’m  _so_ in love with you, it’s crazy...” she trails off, suddenly self-conscious, failing to notice the lips that charge for hers until they claim her.

"Ugh” Regina half sighs, half groans, in between kisses “Emma Swan, what am I going to do with you?”

"All sorts of nasty things, I hope” Emma replies cheekily, and Regina’s rolling laugh bounces off the warm-brown stones of the bridge their standing own.

"Oh, you have no idea” the brunette shakes her head as sinister anticipation clouds her hazel orbs and a lip darts out to wet a luscious lower lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you guessed that next comes a sex scene, you’ve guessed right ;)


End file.
